Toxic friends or me being sensitive? (with examples)

I've been in a friend group for about 2 years after being with them on and off and being primarily friends with a childhood friend for a decade. They have always been the "outcasts" and I joined them because a previous friend group ditched me completely. I had always considered them as my true, real friends and everything was amazing.

Until now, fast forward to ages 17-18. For the last 3 months, they have been extremely toxic, and because I, for some reason, am always prone to bullying, I'm the target of their bullying and I'm never taken seriously.

However, I'm just gonna give 2 examples in the third person and try to sound unbiased and you guys can form your personal opinion on this.

  1. OP had found a gorgeous car in a Facebook group but since she's a fairly new driver she shouldn't get it due to crash/bump risk. OP sent it to the friend group chat with that information and got responses like:
    "jesus christ OP, seriously?"
    "OP, are you gonna drive 120 on a 50 street? no? then what?" <- OP's boyfriend responded with "anything can happen in any situation" (rest is after that, when the chaos started)
    "so you're never gonna get the car that you want?"
    "don't buy an expensive phone, kids, cause it might break :/"
    "don't go swimming, people have drowned"
    and more. OP's boyfriend wrote a small paragraph with the logical explanation on why it wouldn't be smart for OP to get the car and the group said things such as:
    "ooh, she's writing an essay!"
    "remember proper grammar!"
    When the paragraph was complete they kept going with the joke and didn't listen to the logical explanation.

  2. Happened recently, last week. There was a school rave and OP wanted to join their friend group in their little pre-game. OP's boyfriend had come over (dosen't live in the same town). OP was a bit indecisive but in the end she wanted to go. Suddenly, she recieves a text from the group telling her to not come because the only friend who could drive was refusing to go 3 trips (the place was a max 2-3 min drive). OP expressed her hurt feelings and the friends responded with:
    "stop taking it so personally"
    "it would just be a mess"
    "she's barely accepting 2 trips" <- yet once they tried to pressure me to drive a dangerous road so we could go skiing (we needed 2 cars).
    "stop, thanks"

Sorry for the long post, these examples needed a lot of detail to make sense. What do you guys think, are they toxic or am I just "taking everything too personally"? I don't have any other friends and I don't wanna end up alone in school again, I was severely depressed from that before. Thanks in advance.

**TL;DR;** : I don't know whether my friend group is toxic and if I should leave them or if I'm just being sensitive. They have attacked me in the group chat for a simple logical statement and belittled me for it and excluded me from a pre-game while ignoring my hurt feelings.

Edit: format



Submitted April 05, 2019 at 07:23PM

I've been in a friend group for about 2 years after being with them on and off and being primarily friends with a childhood friend for a decade. They have always been the "outcasts" and I joined them because a previous friend group ditched me completely. I had always considered them as my true, real friends and everything was amazing.Until now, fast forward to ages 17-18. For the last 3 months, they have been extremely toxic, and because I, for some reason, am always prone to bullying, I'm the target of their bullying and I'm never taken seriously.However, I'm just gonna give 2 examples in the third person and try to sound unbiased and you guys can form your personal opinion on this.OP had found a gorgeous car in a Facebook group but since she's a fairly new driver she shouldn't get it due to crash/bump risk. OP sent it to the friend group chat with that information and got responses like:"jesus christ OP, seriously?""OP, are you gonna drive 120 on a 50 street? no? then what?" <- OP's boyfriend responded with "anything can happen in any situation" (rest is after that, when the chaos started)"so you're never gonna get the car that you want?""don't buy an expensive phone, kids, cause it might break :/""don't go swimming, people have drowned"and more. OP's boyfriend wrote a small paragraph with the logical explanation on why it wouldn't be smart for OP to get the car and the group said things such as:"ooh, she's writing an essay!""remember proper grammar!"When the paragraph was complete they kept going with the joke and didn't listen to the logical explanation.Happened recently, last week. There was a school rave and OP wanted to join their friend group in their little pre-game. OP's boyfriend had come over (dosen't live in the same town). OP was a bit indecisive but in the end she wanted to go. Suddenly, she recieves a text from the group telling her to not come because the only friend who could drive was refusing to go 3 trips (the place was a max 2-3 min drive). OP expressed her hurt feelings and the friends responded with:"stop taking it so personally""it would just be a mess""she's barely accepting 2 trips" <- yet once they tried to pressure me to drive a dangerous road so we could go skiing (we needed 2 cars)."stop, thanks"Sorry for the long post, these examples needed a lot of detail to make sense. What do you guys think, are they toxic or am I just "taking everything too personally"? I don't have any other friends and I don't wanna end up alone in school again, I was severely depressed from that before. Thanks in advance.**TL;DR;** : I don't know whether my friend group is toxic and if I should leave them or if I'm just being sensitive. They have attacked me in the group chat for a simple logical statement and belittled me for it and excluded me from a pre-game while ignoring my hurt feelings.Edit: format
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more