I feel pretty much the same way. You seem pretty ace. I like kissing and even making out and stuff, but my attraction to those people ends there. It took me a long time to realize that sensual and sexual attraction are not the same bc most people associate them with each other, and I feel the first one, so I just assumed that I felt the other, but I don't. Too bad that allo people tend to expect sensual stuff like making out and cuddling to lead to sex oh well yeehaw June 17, 2019 at 12:17AM

I'm 17 years old, this girl and I were crazy in love with each other last year and each one's favorite and loved each other to the point where it would bother me/her if one of us gave a lot of attention to another person . Anyways... I confessed, she confessed we dated for only 2 days pfft problems happened and then we stopped talking for 6 months after I decided to cut off everything with her and I left her with 66 messages where she expressed her anger on chat. anyways we became friends again after that period of time after i talked to her and told her i want us to become friends again but i still feel something for her... it's been 2 months we're friends, things are ok but we don't talk a lot, nthg like before ... I mean sometimes she ignores me and sometimes she doesn't which leaves me confused and idk if she still feels smthg for me... maybe she does but she's afraid of going back to fighting and drifting apart so she's not showing any signs.. or m...

Hello advocates of Love, i've got a question for you. Just to be clear i'm talking of romantic love of any form. Do you think love is essential to a fullfilling life? If yes, how much of it is it? Can you imagine living without it? If not, how'd you cope with the lack of it? And of course the biggest question, how did you find yours? Might seem like weird, obvious questions but I'm curious because I haven't been able to learn it myself. And I feel like it's different for everyone and since it's the biggest thing that moves the hearts of people, I want to know about it. Submitted June 16, 2019 at 11:39PM Hello advocates of Love, i've got a question for you. Just to be clear i'm talking of romantic love of any form.Do you think love is essential to a fullfilling life? If yes, how much of it is it?Can you imagine living without it? If not, how'd you cope with the lack of it?And of course the biggest question, how did you find yours?Might ...

Thank you so much 💜💜💜 this is really reassuring June 17, 2019 at 12:13AM

I know I'm over thinking too much. Their are a lot of other things that could make or break it. I really don't know him all that well so I just need to take it slow. Thanks again. I really wasn't expecting that well of a response lol. June 17, 2019 at 12:12AM

Any other finger is for swinger June 17, 2019 at 12:11AM

I get this a lot. I used to do this a lot more than I do now. Being closeted and if I'm being honest, a little bit self-loathing about being ace really triggered my impostor syndrome. I used to look at people all the time and wonder if I could ever possibly feel sexual attraction for them, wonder if my aesthetic or sensual attraction was sexual, just doubt after doubt. Being out to no one made it a little worse bc it felt like I could still "back out" of being ace if I ever started to feel sexual attraction. I'm not ready to fully come out, but confiding my sexuality to people I felt safe with helped, and confronting my internalized aphobia, so to speak, helped, and therapy (with a therapist who was trained in LGBT+ sensitivity) helped. I didn't go to the therapist for this but for something else, but we ended up talking about my asexuality and my impostor syndrome a lot. Just basically realizing that I wasn't totally okay with being ace right off the bat and...

Wow, it’s crazy that it was such a big thing! I’ve only seen this game played among small groups of very close friends. I can definitely relate to wanting to be seen as sexually attractive to fit in despite not actually understanding what sexual attraction is even based on though June 17, 2019 at 12:06AM

oof big mood June 17, 2019 at 12:05AM

Right hand middle finger is for ace. All others are swingers. June 17, 2019 at 12:04AM

I'm the same, it's nice! June 17, 2019 at 12:02AM

I feel this on a spiritual level. June 17, 2019 at 12:02AM

Alright, thanks! June 17, 2019 at 12:01AM

Definitely try to be a friend to her while she figures it out. It also couldn't hurt to learn more about asexuality in the meantime so you can better support her if a relationship with her is really what you're after. AVEN ( www.asexuality.org ) is an excellent resource to learn about asexuality, and they have forums for allosexual people (that's you) with ace partners to ask questions about how to navigate those relationships. This is also a good place to look for advice--we're always willing to help! June 17, 2019 at 12:00AM

Yeah I just know what it’s like to feel like “wtf have I done to make them not like me?!” And I would hate to be doing that to someone when I know it’s not them. It’s just who I am and I can’t help it. I don’t ever want anyone to feel like they’re flawed when they’re really not. June 17, 2019 at 12:00AM

The funny thing is even though I’m asexual and grayromantic I’ve always been super into shipping, I guess when it doesn’t involve me I find it entertaining and cute to think about (yes this includes many ships that make no sense and to some are strange). June 16, 2019 at 11:59PM

i had to do this a year ago with a guy. i thought it was because i was ace but i’m aro and i had to explain to him that it was never something he did but it was me June 16, 2019 at 11:58PM

Aegosexual is a term you might want to look in to June 16, 2019 at 11:54PM

When I was in high school there was a smash or pass list. One for boys that rated the girls and another for girls that ranked the boys. And eventually every clique had a version, like theater kids, football team, dance squad etc. So there were about 10-20 sheets of paper around that ranked a little differently. Like you could be #3 on one list but #15 on another. Most lists stopped at 50 and if you weren’t on it, then you you were a loser. (Oh my god this sounds terrible now that I say the story out loud) But I remember all my friends making paper cut outs of all the boys’ names and switching them around. “Jacob and Mike are tied for number one.” “NO! Justin should be number one.” I never really caught on as to how they were ranking the guys. To me there was no scale at all. Like yea I could recognize aesthetic attraction in individuals but I distinctly remember not being able to tell why a guy was #5 or #20. If two men we’re hot, I couldn’t tell which was hotter. I felt left out; I ...

The harder you cling to hope that you could be allo, the more it hurts you. I learned that too. A lot of us don't want to be ace at first, and it takes time and unlearning societal conditioning to accept that there's nothing wrong with it. That might not necessarily be what you're going through, but if it is, I want you to know that it's okay to be ace (or demi), and it's okay if you turn out not to be! Best of luck to you as you figure your feelings out! June 16, 2019 at 11:53PM

Maybe you are a hetero-romantic ace. or not hetero, idk. Remember romantic attraction is not mutually exclusive of sexual attraction. June 16, 2019 at 11:53PM

Hey fellow redditors, I’ve been speaking to a girl for a good 6 months all online and she’s recently asked me to go on a date. I’ve not done something like this in over 5 years (yeah that’s along time indeed) and I’m really nervous! I have a stutter, low self esteem. I could go on but let’s save that can of worms for another day. You see I’m not really sure how to go about it. What do you talk about? When you’ve already discovered all the things you would normally talk about on a first date. I already know her favorite hobbies, what she hates, her favorite food, yano the typical first few dates things you learn about someone. So how now what.. Any advice would be appreciated Submitted June 16, 2019 at 11:22PM Hey fellow redditors, I’ve been speaking to a girl for a good 6 months all online and she’s recently asked me to go on a date. I’ve not done something like this in over 5 years (yeah that’s along time indeed) and I’m really nervous! I have a stutter, low self esteem. I co...

Hey y’all! I feel silly posting this buuut here we are haha, SO, a Little bit of background information! I’ve “known” this guy for years and years and years. We never hung out with the same crowd, but we grew up in the same small town. We weren’t exactly friends but we knew who each other was. Sooo about 2 years ago, he added me on Instagram and we followed each other on there and talked a bit. A few months later, we matched on tinder with each other (I don’t think we ever hung out together because of tinder), but a couple months after that even, we DID hang out after texting each other for a bit. So that puts us at about 1.5 years ago. So he came over to my house, we hung out and talked and watched a movie etc etc. After he left, he texted me and said he had fun with me and wanted to see me again. So I asked him about a week later if he wanted to hang out and he came over to my house and we ended up making out with each other and watched a couple of movies. Again, he messaged me af...