https://ift.tt/2ZFRKsQ Submitted August 06, 2019 at 12:08AM https://ift.tt/2ZFRKsQ

Delurking because so am I! I’ve been told (in really graphic, unwanted terms) that I’m pretty good at it. August 06, 2019 at 12:16AM

I think there's a key difference between someone being asexual and being welcome in the asexual community. A person's asexuality/allosexuality is a purely personal thing that depends on the answer to the question "do you feel sexual attraction for other human beings?" Any person's honest answer to that question is valid. That doesn't mean that a group organized around asexuality has to embrace everyone who is asexual. A person who does not feel sexual attraction--but wants to have sex because they see it as crucial to their social status and is frustrated because society is not giving them the sex they believe they deserve for their social status--would still be asexual. However, no space (e.g. this subreddit) would have to tolerate their toxic viewpoints just because an asexual person on this planet believes it. It'd be like a homophobic gay person: the fact they're homophobic doesn't make them less gay, but it absolutely means queer spaces do...

If you say grey-romanticism doesn't adequately capture what you're feeling, quoiromanticism is a term that could help. Here's a quote from AVEN's wiki : Reasons for identifying with WTF/quoiromanticism may include feeling neither romantic nor aromantic, finding the concept of romantic attraction to be confusing, finding the romantic/nonromantic distinction to be inaccessible in some way, or not seeing the lines between romance and friendship. I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for, but I guess there's another word to identify with besides allo, aro, grey, and demi. August 06, 2019 at 12:11AM

Romantic attraction is related to who you’d want to be romantically involved with. You should look at all the crushes you have had and see what was similar about them. If they are the same gender then you may be hetrom or homorom. If their genders were varying then you may be birom or panrom. But looking at your own crushes could be limiting, look at the people around you and ask yourself if you’d want to be romantic with them. Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum so I can be difficult to pin point August 06, 2019 at 12:11AM

I know what meaningful touch is, I just don't do it often enough for my wife. I want to, I want her, but for some reason I just don't do it often. There are other psychological issues at play that I'm trying to get help for, after 15 years. But I want to start something now! Are there any tips and tricks? Does anyone set an alarm or a timer, is that wrong to want to use an app or timer? Help! Submitted August 06, 2019 at 12:17AM I know what meaningful touch is, I just don't do it often enough for my wife. I want to, I want her, but for some reason I just don't do it often. There are other psychological issues at play that I'm trying to get help for, after 15 years. But I want to start something now! Are there any tips and tricks? Does anyone set an alarm or a timer, is that wrong to want to use an app or timer?Help!

The step you are on now is primary, the goal is secondary. I know this to be true, yet it’s hard to accept it when it comes to being single and dating. Dating is exhausting and frustrating. I do try to concentrate on the good parts- like I enjoy meeting new people and having new experiences, and I like flirting and getting positive attention. But still, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to. In the back of my mind, I just want a relationship. I know intellectually, it’s a fallacy: If I get a relationship, then I’ll be happy. I’m happy now honestly and I know it won’t necessarily make me any happier to be in a relationship. But yet I want one so badly!!! At this age, I feel like time is running out (biologically) to find someone and have a family. So it’s hard not to concentrate on the goal. Dating is a means to an end, but it shouldn’t be! Life is now, and now I’m single and dating, so I need to accept that and try to enjoy it. But howwwww? Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:56PM ...

she was in Playboy and then was on home improvement, baywatch, and V.I.P. she hasn't been relevant in at least 20 years. she was never someone anyone asked for intelligent opinions August 06, 2019 at 12:09AM

Cannot believe I'm about to tell on myself like this but: I'm an Ace that writes porn. Had quite a few intense negative reactions to that bombshell. August 06, 2019 at 12:03AM

We talk about the p vs np problem or dimensioning and tolerance and curvature or how to work with addresses and struct in c++ or Da Vinci paintings. August 06, 2019 at 12:02AM

Are you sex repulsed? August 05, 2019 at 11:58PM

The opposite holds true - sex negative people can loathe sexual acts with every fiber of their being, and that's OK. Forums like these give sex negative people a vital outlet, because expressing sex negative views elsewhere will most likely be greeted with pure hostility. August 05, 2019 at 11:56PM

I get attached to people very quickly and might possibly push boundaries sometimes especially when it comes to texting. Is it okay to not get a reply for a day or so from a person you're seeing? I get anxious about not getting replies and might send another text after a few hours. Is that too much? I went out on a couple of dates with this girl and she seemed really into me, but after the third date, she'd only reply to my texts 6-8 hours after, no matter when I sent them. After a few more dates she almost completely stopped texting except when we were making plans and said that she'd rather just be friends. Is this weird? Is texting every day too much in today's dating culture? What do women expect? Additionally, how does one express a sexual intent in the first few dates without coming off as creepy? After having read a few posts I feel I might have come off as too platonic instead of boyfriend material. Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:31PM I get attached to...

Long story short, I'm two years out from a divorce and was with my ex for almost 8 years total. I've been working a shit ton of overtime since then and pretty much saw an opportunity for a social life disappear. I've always had a hard time getting to know people and making any sort of meaningful relationship last and I now find myself, at 40, alone with no friends or dependable social skills. I'm incredibly shy and awkward around strangers and have started to feel like I'm just not good enough for anyone. I've been trying to get involved with various groups, but I struggle to get myself motivated and I rarely encounter people I feel any connection with. I'm not at all religious, so church is out of the question. I'd like to try getting involved with any kind of social or political awareness activities, but again I'm socially awkward. Meeting women organically has never worked for me and these days I have no idea what is even acceptable when it com...

I hate that you can virtually bond with someone over the couple of a few texts and before you even get the chance to ask them out, they’ll ghost you into oblivion and stop responding completely. I get that everyone is free to do as they please but I’ve been rejected at least three times this past week just by girls who stopped replying and let the conversation die, even if it was well. Im a girl by the way. It just sucks. I’m hopeless and I feel like I’ll never be able to meet anyone for real. Im gay so it makes it twice as hard for me to find someone to date and online dating is a good way to meet women but if they didn’t ghost after three messages that would be better Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:45PM I hate that you can virtually bond with someone over the couple of a few texts and before you even get the chance to ask them out, they’ll ghost you into oblivion and stop responding completely. I get that everyone is free to do as they please but I’ve been rejected at least t...

I’m a male in my mid 20’s that’s never been in a relationship before. There’s this girl I’ve known for years that I’ve had a crush on. We were always friends then I moved towns and we stopped speaking. I think there definitely might have been some connection at one point when we were together but nothing happened. I was in town recently and we ended up going out together and finally kissed. I’ve thought about her literally every day since then (this was months ago now) but I haven’t seen her since because we still live in different places. We’ve been talking periodically since then but never addressed what happened or the tension. I’m moving very close to her soon for work and I feel like I finally have a shot to make something happen. This is where I will probably end up messing up... As mentioned, I think about her all the time and how badly I want to be with her, however my thoughts towards her are not sexual. I don’t think about “fucking” her and the idea of it doesn’t necess...

Ive been dwelling on this for a couple of days now. The weekend was amazing. We went up to the family lake house and my cousin who is like a sister brought her friend from college. She prefaced the weekend with she thought her friend and I would get along great. *wink *wink And she was 100% right. We mesh on all levels. Spiritual, social, goals, sexual attraction, family, politics, the works. We talked for hours on end and she would constantly compliment me with "what a stud" "omg you're amazing" "you're literally the funniest person ever" "I feel like I could take you anywhere and we would have an awesome time" "they don't have men like you where I'm from" etc. We had great chemistry, eye contact, and she constantly flirty winked at me when I was being sarcastic. Towards the end of the weekend I was confiding in my cousin that I was sprung over her friend and that I was going to ask for her number. Pretty routine I ...

So a major problem I’ve run into in my dating life is while I have built up quite a bit of confidence and I can talk to girls just fine I haven’t really done a lot of physical stuff and I’m still not entirely comfortable with it yet. I’ve kissed a handful of girls here and there and almost lost my virginity once except I didn’t quite fit in her so that was the end of that. My lack of experience seems to be a major turn off for a lot of girls and even though I NEVER bring it up unless they directly ask me about it it’s not exactly rocket science for them to figure it out. I’ve had girls tell me that I feel tense when hugged and my general nervousness towards being physical gives it away pretty quick. Every girl has generally the same response that they aren’t comfortable taking a guy’s virginity and that she wouldn’t feel comfortable being in a relationship because that would eventually come up and it would be awkward and such. I asked a close female friend of mine once what her thoug...

Title pretty much explains it, but I want to go into more detail and give some backstory. Please forgive me as so much is going on in my head right now this will probably be word vomit. Also I’m sorry I’m not proofreading I don’t wanna cry anymore lol. If any clarification is needed just let me know. tl;dr is at bottom. So, we’ll call me Jess, my boyfriend Greg, his female friend Lexie, and his male friend (who will come into play later) Jack. I’ve been dating Greg for 2 1/2 months, so fairly new but we started talking almost 6 months ago. Either way, not a really long time, but that’s not important. Greg has been close friends with Lexie since 2017, which is fine, I’m not one of those people that thinks boys and girls can’t be friends, but ever since they first met she’s been VERY flirty. Like as flirty as one can be without straight up kissing the other. Greg knows it and his friends tell him she’s doing it all the time. They’ve both been single at the same time though and he’s to...

I (f15) have these two friends (both f15) who both bring forth a toxic relationship. one of them I've been friends with for about 4 years now, and I've been questioning things for the past few months. she doesnt care about my feelings, always degrades me, shoots down my opinions, and talks about herself constantly. the other I've only been friends with for a little over a year now. she goes behind my back a lot and talks so much shit. I'm afraid of hurting them both by leaving, but I know I have to for my own mental health. but also leaving would mean I literally only have one friend, which would be my boyfriend (m17) and thatd be hella sad. I have absolutely no idea if I should leave or stay. advice? TL;DR: I have two toxic friends I'm afraid to leave because of hurting them and only having one friend. Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:43PM I (f15) have these two friends (both f15) who both bring forth a toxic relationship.one of them I've been frien...

Friends with benefits. We see each other every week. Hang out a few weekends a month. Travel, go out, meet each other’s friends. One rule: let each other know if we sleep with someone else. Had a break from November to February cause she got back with a ex. That kinda bummed me out big time... she reached out in February to apologize and start it back up after she ended things for good with ex. I’m in love with her she knows but she doesn’t feel the same yet she wants this to continue. It is bothering me that she doesn’t have the same feelings. What do I do? Do I continue this? Should I end it? I’m scared of getting hurt. TL;DR can friends with benefits work when the feelings between the two people aren’t the same? Submitted August 05, 2019 at 11:48PM Friends with benefits. We see each other every week. Hang out a few weekends a month. Travel, go out, meet each other’s friends. One rule: let each other know if we sleep with someone else. Had a break from November to February ca...

Apologies, it’s a long one! TL:DR at the end. See post history for more context. I got ill in February and had to leave my job. After getting a little better my SO suggested that now would be a good time to get a puppy, I was at home without full time work and some friends of ours had puppies for sale. I agreed, since then I have found out the following: He pays for webcam girls despite there being a problem with our sex life (and before anyone comments, it’s not about me. We’ve discussed this at length, and I am by no means frigid or uncomfortable to do what he likes, nor has my appearance changed drastically) he knows that I consider this cheating. After finding out the first time, and telling him that I consider that too personal and cheating, he did it again. His gambling addiction has returned and he didn’t tell me, and has repeatedly lied to cover his tracks. He has put us in debt again with this. He has been caught out lying about all this repeatedly over 6 months, has n...

I'll try to be as brief as possible. For the past year and a half I've grown to be a part of an evolving friendship group formed at work. For the most part, I've felt more on the outskirts given that I've been the only member of the group who doesn't technically work in the same department and thus there's degrees of separation. And well, and for the same reasons, I have missed out things because I just "wasn't there" when they were occurring (IE: everyone meeting up at one friends house to sit by the pool, but no one thinking to invite me because I hadn't shown up to chat that day). Just to preface all of this, these sort of things have bothered me to varying degrees and made me question how much I'm actually in the group only to then have something super emotional come up that would make me feel definitely "in" the group. There's continuously been a feeling of in and out but let's just say right now I'm in. A seve...