Yeah I’m aceflux and gah 😣 August 10, 2021 at 12:04AM

Really sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm glad to read that you're going to talk with your therapist, though. It's good that you're seeking help. I don't know what else to say. I can't take away that pain. My previous relationship ended for very similar reasons, so I understand the hurt, but that might be cold comfort. Just know that you're not alone here and we've got your back. August 10, 2021 at 12:04AM

I do! I actually did before I realised I was even ace which might sound weird, but I knew I didn't feel straight(even though I tried so hard to convince myself I was??) so you get what I mean? It might also be a little different for me because I'm pan romantic? But yeah, I totally think we're lgbtq! August 10, 2021 at 12:00AM

Not because of my lack of sexual attraction. August 09, 2021 at 11:59PM

It helped me when I heard someone reframe asexuality as “a self-contained sexuality” rather than “a lack of sexuality”. It’s about attraction— not libido, fantasies, or actions— attraction. You’re still a valid Ace even if you have a high libido (even if that’s all the time). Also, even if you were something other than Ace, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. You’re allowed to use labels, and you’re free to keep them or change them according to how they serve your needs. And you’re allowed to hang out with and identify with Ace people on and offline even if you don’t identify as Ace. But yeah, you can totally be Ace with a high libido, and I totally get the imposter syndrome. You’re still valid! 💜♠️👽 August 09, 2021 at 11:59PM

I do I do!!!!! I really don't like to spend so much time calming the urges. I would rather use that time playing videogames or watching a movie or something. But I mean, I'd lie if I say I don't enjoy reading a good erotica, I just don't like that this thing consumes so much time. August 09, 2021 at 11:56PM

The thing that also annoys me about people knowing sexualities (specifically ones that aren't straight) is that it then becomes a descriptor in introductions. "Oh yeah, this is ______, they're gay/ace/bi... etc.." It's rarely relevant unless in a situation where it's a potential partner or... something similar, so just having someone find out about that and spread it for no reason must suck. Hopefully everyone's chill. Sorry this happened.. August 09, 2021 at 11:56PM

Wow!!! I hope this comes true for everyone in the planet, not just ace people one day! Seriously, if I had a magic lamp such as Aladin, I totally ask that... This is amazing August 09, 2021 at 11:54PM

As long as it doesn't turn into another narwhal bacon situation, I'm down. We need something low-key and classy, like making an X over your nethers with your arms and shaking your head vigorously. August 09, 2021 at 11:51PM

Ma'am, even if a relatively new brand of cereal is a different brand from what people are used to, does that mean it's not cereal? That cereal is valid cereal. MA'AM, YOU ARE SOME GODDAMN VALID CEREAL. I AM SOME GODDAMN VALID CEREAL. WE'RE ALL VALID CEREAL BRANDS. August 09, 2021 at 11:50PM

Animals by Maroon 5. Love that song, absolutely would not want it in reality August 09, 2021 at 11:48PM

What an awful person! That's your private life, I hope your HR team takes action against them. I'm sorry you had to go through that before you were ready. August 09, 2021 at 11:44PM

College was terrible for me because of this. There were multiple times when I would turn down the advances of a person, then that person would proceed to go and have sex with one of my roommates, which inevitably echoed throughout the small house/dorm rooms I lived in. Definitely better them than me, but since hearing sex is also discomforting to me it wasn't the best tradeoff. August 09, 2021 at 11:44PM

Honestly, for non-ace-related reasons, sometimes I do feel a bit broken lately. In a sense, it's nice to see the same feelings for other reasons as it's reassuring that people are complicated no matter what. My aceness (and lack of social needs in general) has freed up my time and money, as well as caused confusion at times. I try not to judge it, I am who I am. Edit: I like the swiss cheese anology. August 09, 2021 at 11:44PM

Noo, that's great advice actually, keeping yourself bussy can be really useful in a lot of situations August 09, 2021 at 11:44PM

"Excuse me, which way to Denmark?" August 09, 2021 at 11:41PM

Wouw, I needed this post and these comments! i struggle really hard with this. Sometimes the problem only occurs once a month or less but lately it has been more frequent and it makes me feel really weird I try to negate it but the problem doesn't go away that way sadly, I think I would feel less guilt, disconnect and shame if I were just asexual but I'm also trans non-binary and it's also a gender dysphoria trigger for me! I wish I could chop my balls of like a cat! It's incredible how much influence libido has on your brain and it's really interesting how you perceive it... August 09, 2021 at 11:41PM

Yes, I am ace and that alone makes me LGBT+ August 09, 2021 at 11:37PM

Gosh I’ve had experiences like that too and the strange feeling of disgust towards myself was so confusing August 09, 2021 at 11:37PM

Thank you for offering me your opinion when I didn't really ask for it, and thank you for giving a really long response that wasn't called for. It's exactly what I needed right now! August 09, 2021 at 11:36PM

Seeing how my reality seems like fantasy to others, I'd like to praise my husband as being awesome. Then again he's "more ace" than I am, so I should praise myself. August 09, 2021 at 11:35PM

You might be aegosexual. That's when you have no desire to pursue a sexual relationship with anyone, but you do enjoy sexual content or the arousal that comes from it. Aegosexuality is a micro-label within the asexuality spectrum. Here's more info on aegosexuality: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Aegosexual And remember, you're valid! August 09, 2021 at 11:35PM

I have strong romantic urges I guess haha and dating leads to relationships. I love most things about relationships (obviously not the sex), having someone to love is so great if you’re into that August 09, 2021 at 11:34PM