It’s based on the mentality that you owe your (future) spouse your body, may it be for fun or reproduction. Refusing to do any of that seems ludicrous to allos since sexual attraction is a core part of their experience as an adult human being, so the conclusion is you‘re refusal is out of malevolent reasons. Remember all those jokes about the wifes punishing misbehaving husbands by refusing to have sex in media? They accuse aces of that mindset. I had a similar conversation with a family friend years ago (when I was still questioning but certainly about not wanting children). I was questioned about my lack of offspring and unmarried status and I plainly answered I didn‘t want any. I was told that‘s unfair to my future husband and that he would leave me if I didn‘t change my mind. (Again, I was single and while I phrased my sentences hypothetical my conversation partner treated it as a given. Also, heteronormativity much.) If I knew and said I’m asexual guess that conversation would h...

sOuNdS lIkE sOmEtHiNg An InCeL wOuLd SaY JK September 19, 2021 at 12:50AM

Gender, sexual, romantic minority. Basically covers everyone that isn't cis, heterosexual, and heteroromantic. As more letters get added on to lgbtq+, it gets a bit unwieldy to mention all of them. lgbtqiaa2spp+ doesn't roll off the tongue easily. September 19, 2021 at 12:49AM

It goes by the first letter of each word. September 19, 2021 at 12:49AM

Hello, probably a strange question but I am freaking out. I'm an 18-year-old college freshman and I met this girl through a mutual friend. All three of us have been hanging out almost every day since school started 4 weeks ago and we have a lot of fun. Lately, though, our mutual friend (a gay man) has been making jokes about me and this girl having sex. I've identified as a lesbian for a year and have had 2 girlfriends but I've never gone that far with either of them since they were both online and I only met them in person a few times. A week ago my friend was pressuring me into having sex with the girl and the girl said she would but I said I felt uncomfortable and wasn't willing to. So my friend (the gay man) was like "ok you have a week to make your decision, either yes you want to have sex with her or no." And apparently, I can't change my mind about the decision later. Well, a week went by and I still haven't made my decision. Like, I want to ex...

Hey, I'm (m17 vrgin) currently watching Sex education on Netflix and it made me realize that I'm so used to watch Classic mainstream porn with girls that have the so called "perfect body" that when i'll met girls irl and have sex with them i might get disappointed or repulsed at first bcs they won't have the pussy/body i see almost every day online, i think my taste got set to the porn norms and they aren't realistic at all... am i right to worry about that or it'll be fine? Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:42AM Hey,I'm (m17 vrgin) currently watching Sex education on Netflix and it made me realize that I'm so used to watch Classic mainstream porn with girls that have the so called "perfect body" that when i'll met girls irl and have sex with them i might get disappointed or repulsed at first bcs they won't have the pussy/body i see almost every day online, i think my taste got set to the porn norms and they aren...

I (23f) and a guy who lives down the road (21m) met walking our dogs and hit it off. I really enjoy spending time with him and he is such a sweet human. We are both on the same page as we don't plan to live in the same place very long (I want to live in another country and he is in the army and travels a good amount). So we are sort of friends with benefits. I find him extremely attractive and like is personality. The issue is that he moans like a girl during sex. He doesn't have much experience (only one other girl when he was 17). I usually don't have an issue explaining what I like, however I would never want to hurt his feelings or make him self conscious. However his moaning really does turn me off completely. Would I be a dick if I told him this, and should avoid the convo all together? Or if not, how should I go about starting that convo? Any advise is very appreciated! Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:46AM I (23f) and a guy who lives down the road (21m) ...

So, I was home schooled and even though I'm now 21, I haven't been around people my own age since I was about 11. Full stop. As a result, I feel like I have been stunted in many ways. I have never dated or so much as held hands, let alone seen a guy naked in real life. The concept has always skeeved me out a little bit, honestly. I have watched porn and it is what it is but most of what I have ever seen is professional stuff. I started watching a show with a lot (like A LOT) of casual nudity with average men and it...awakened things in me, I swear. This has been my first time seeing "normal" flaccid male genitalia and it has made me by far the aroused I have ever been. Frankly every time I see a penis now I wish so badly I could touch it. Sometimes I have been going to the more tame NSFW subs and just browsing for the hell of it. I'm even having intrusive thoughts of sorts now where I see men in public or big celebrities and I'm like, "they have a penis...

I keep having good sex flashbacks of my ex, the sex was so good, I miss it unfortunately he’s recently got into another relationship with someone which I think was pretty quick just pretty much 2 months after me and him broke up, I know I need to move on but I miss him. How can I move on from this and stop the flashbacks? Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:48AM I keep having good sex flashbacks of my ex, the sex was so good, I miss it unfortunately he’s recently got into another relationship with someone which I think was pretty quick just pretty much 2 months after me and him broke up, I know I need to move on but I miss him. How can I move on from this and stop the flashbacks?

I 29(m) & my girlfriend 29(f) have been in a year+ relationship. It’s pretty amazing and almost everything works out great. However I have a fairly high sex drive and hers is fairly low so along with that I have quite a few kinks and fetishes but as the title says she likes it more on the vanilla side. Our sex is pretty good still. But basic. It’s beginning to frustrate me a lot that she almost immediately shuts down most kinks or fetishes I bring up. It’s not a deal breaker or anything. I was just wondering what advice some may have for getting past this Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:58AM I 29(m) & my girlfriend 29(f) have been in a year+ relationship. It’s pretty amazing and almost everything works out great. However I have a fairly high sex drive and hers is fairly low so along with that I have quite a few kinks and fetishes but as the title says she likes it more on the vanilla side. Our sex is pretty good still. But basic. It’s beginning to frustrate me a lot t...

This is one of the main things holding me back from dating. My(21m) friends say that I’m good looking, but I don’t know if they’re just saying that to be nice, or if I’m actually attractive and just have low self esteem. I just want to know the truth so I can adjust my standards and make sure I’m not being delusional/arrogant. What are some ways one can gauge how attractive they are? Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:08AM This is one of the main things holding me back from dating. My(21m) friends say that I’m good looking, but I don’t know if they’re just saying that to be nice, or if I’m actually attractive and just have low self esteem. I just want to know the truth so I can adjust my standards and make sure I’m not being delusional/arrogant.What are some ways one can gauge how attractive they are?

At this point I’m really not sure what to do. For Tinder and Hinge I got new pictures, updated my bio, and don’t just say “Hey” when I match with someone. I’m not bad looking and don’t ask for anyone’s Snapchat after a message. I’m actually trying to get to know people and go on dates but for whatever reason I can’t get them. And I don’t only rely on online dating. I go out to bars and places and talk to people outside of just my friend group. But nothing ever seems to pan out. I’ve gotten excuses or even ignored after asking them to actually do something. This has been a problem for years, even outside of online dating. So clearly there’s something I’m missing that I can’t put my finger on and it’s really starting to bug me. I understand I don’t just deserve a date or a girlfriend. And I’m not perfect, I’m working through some things still. But people tell me I’m smart, funny, cute, a great guy, etc. yet I can’t seem to get a date. I have a job and pay all my bills. I’m in pretty g...

I 29f have been dating my bf 36m for 1 year. I broke up with him several times for alcoholism. The usual hiding bottles and drinking 4 to 6 days a week. He cut down a lot but it won't last. I left him but we still talk and see each other often. We haven't moved on. When I break up, he calls non stop, calls my sister, texts and calls 10 times in a row, shows up at my house. Anyways, he begs me to come back and I do. But this is the 3rd time this week he says "I can get anyone. Look at me. They throw themselves at me. I just happened to be in love with you and I only want you." I never say anything about guys. They try messaging me but I don't tell him that because I tell the other guys I'm not single. I tell him to date those other girls and he gets all defensive and says they all want him but he doesn't want them. He is very handsome but there is more than looks. Idk how to respond to that. Tl;DR: bf tells me all the time that girls pursue him. Subm...

I (m 21) am very new to the dating world, and last Thursday, I asked out a girl I liked over Snapchat. She said yes, and then stopped responding to my messages. I can see that she sees my messages and then saves them, but doesn’t respond. I tried following up today, but it’s been 15 hours sense she saw it. She had a volleyball game today, so I figured she was busy doing that this weekend, but I know it’s over, so I don’t know what’s going on. Any advice? Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:12AM I (m 21) am very new to the dating world, and last Thursday, I asked out a girl I liked over Snapchat. She said yes, and then stopped responding to my messages. I can see that she sees my messages and then saves them, but doesn’t respond. I tried following up today, but it’s been 15 hours sense she saw it. She had a volleyball game today, so I figured she was busy doing that this weekend, but I know it’s over, so I don’t know what’s going on. Any advice?

So I hung out with this girl I really like last night and I’m trying to figure out if she’s still interested. I thought the date went well but for whatever reason I feel like I act so awkward on first dates so I tend to overthink stuff like this. At the end of the date she gave me a hug and said she had a great time. The only reason I ask this is I really really like this girl and I hope she feels the same way. Submitted September 19, 2021 at 12:14AM So I hung out with this girl I really like last night and I’m trying to figure out if she’s still interested. I thought the date went well but for whatever reason I feel like I act so awkward on first dates so I tend to overthink stuff like this. At the end of the date she gave me a hug and said she had a great time. The only reason I ask this is I really really like this girl and I hope she feels the same way.

The thing about mine is: I’m in a hetero relationship and for all intents and purposes, there’s no real need for me to bring it up. I don’t like hearing about other people’s sex lives and I believe mine (or lack thereof) is no one’s business but mine and my partners. I’ve discussed it with my other ace friends, but my parents? They’re on a need-to-know basis, and they don’t need to know. Strangers? Even more so. It just all seems peripheral, as if sexually itself doesn’t exist unless someone brings it to my attention. September 18, 2021 at 11:47PM

I had it the other way around. I knew I was aromantic, but I just couldn't figure out if I was any kind of asexual too, no matter how much I read the resources available here. Too many confusing and conflicting feelings. Then I decided to browse egg_irl for the first time and suddenly those confusing feelings started making sense... Anyway, I now strongly suspect I might be asexual. September 18, 2021 at 11:47PM

Well obviously it’d be consensual when done… September 18, 2021 at 11:47PM

Personally I've got enough of a laundry list going on in my life so I like to keep it pleasantly vague and broadly defined. Like a roomy sweater. Hi, I'm queer! September 18, 2021 at 11:46PM

"cure the desire for touch" 👀 pure allobane September 18, 2021 at 11:45PM