I often doubt my own asexuality too, but mainly because I’m one of those het aces 🤷🏾‍♀️ but anyway, I think it’s very normal to doubt, is my point; sexuality isn’t set in stone, and it’s not expressed in the exact same way for every person. I try to keep it simple and define sexual attraction as looking at someone or hearing someone’s name and thinking “hell yeah I’d fuck [XYZ person] right here and now!!” And genuinely wanting to go through with it, meanwhile sexual desires are along the lines of “hmm I kinda like erotica, sex is cool or whatever, etc” but the biggest difference is you don’t think of anyone in particular, let alone def wanna act on said desires... hopefully that helped in some way... if you’ve ever had a particular person that you’d wanna express sexual desire to, then I’d safely say you were sexually attracted to them September 17, 2020 at 12:01AM

Sexuality is fluid, it's normal to question yourself. It's just exploration and if finding a label helps understand yourself... then it's a wonderful realisation! However, it can be confusing, especially when you're expected to know yourself best. I think, don't stress. Keep it in the back of your mind and the truth will reveal itself in due time. You don't need to make a decision today or tomorrow. Heck, I'm 22 and only recently came to understand myself as an asexual and it's still confusing! That's life though :p No stress :) September 17, 2020 at 12:01AM

"feeling like people place too much emphasis on sex in relationships – for example, perhaps you would use dating apps for a relationship when other people are mostly looking for sex." This pretty much explains me to a tee and also why I have parted ways with mainstream dating sites. All the conversations and dates ended with people who assume I must immediately be turned on to them. Sex seems to supersede romance from what I have seen. It is difficult to come out as asexual and it sucks to feel so misunderstood in those cases. September 16, 2020 at 11:56PM

That is actually a great example September 16, 2020 at 11:54PM

thank you sometimes I just maybe think there's something wrong with me for not making sex out to be like a God. seems like it's what everyone wants but I don't fit in September 16, 2020 at 11:52PM

It may help to make him understand that a great number of people are ace. This will may help him come to terms and accept it has nothing to do with him. You could share this subreddit with him. It also may be better to not specifically state you are showing him the sub for that reason, make it come across as you sharing your world. This is all my opinion and every relationship/human is a little different but hope this helps or someone elses comment does, good luck in your endeavours! September 16, 2020 at 11:52PM

Perfect explanation!! 💪🏾👌🏾 September 16, 2020 at 11:45PM

Most Illegal drugs dont cause memory loss as long as you take appropriate doses. Heroin/meth can. Better to stick to the fun ones. September 16, 2020 at 11:44PM

I was thinking illegal drugs September 16, 2020 at 11:42PM

I kinda feel like this too. September 16, 2020 at 11:42PM

I like a large variety of substances, done right they are pretty great. Do your research first and never try something alone, its better to have a close friend with you, or nearby. Also not every drug affects everyone the same way and you can never get rid of what youve taken so BABY STEPS!!!!! September 16, 2020 at 11:40PM

It seems like you're already doing a great job handing it! Communication, consent, and compromise are key here. My allo boyfriend and I started dating when we were 16 and we didn't know I was ace. I had the pleasure of coming out to him as ace, then as biromantic, and he's been supportive through it all. I'm pretty sex repulsed, and he's still generally a horny teen after 8 years but we're still going strong (and getting engaged very soon). In my experience, the trick was figuring out what specifically he likes about sex (the intimacy and connection is the important part for him) and then finding things that I am comfortable with that fufill that need for him. We talk through the issues surrounding it as best we can, and we compromise as much as possible. As long as you communicate, you'll make it through whatever. He seems great, and I wish you the best of luck with your relationship going forward! September 16, 2020 at 11:38PM

Do weed September 16, 2020 at 11:38PM

Idk how you meant that (it’s plain text and all 😅)so just in case... to clarify I’m asexual myself (on the spectrum to be specific); but my thing is: there are only so many of us 😪 and the way I’ve always seen it is that being ace isn’t hard, but explaining it (to (allo)/sexual ppl) is. That said, there is NOTHING wrong with us, but instead there is certainly something WRONG with others centering their relationships (and even other ppl’s relationships) around sex 😩 sex is overrated and is NOT the most noteworthy experience to have at all 😭 personally I’d be more livid to die never having gotten filthy rich rather than a virgin (sorry about my paragraph tho 💀) September 16, 2020 at 11:37PM

Drugs done right that shouldnt happen lol. Its misuse that leads to memory loss. September 16, 2020 at 11:37PM

I don't drink because I take meds. I don't do drugs because the risk isn't worth it and it's real expensive. September 16, 2020 at 11:36PM

Talk me down by troye sivan!!! September 16, 2020 at 11:34PM

Will definitely need to have a sitdown and talk. Just feeling kind of broken right now and dont know if I have it in me. Thanks for the kind words. I believe it is possible, just one I'm a million. September 16, 2020 at 11:32PM

I sometimes drink alcohol, but no more than two drinks. I just like being able to relax around my friends a bit. I used to drink a lot more, but I found it became boring, I guess the novelty of it wore off. September 16, 2020 at 11:31PM

may i please know where you bought the white ring pretty please ive been looking for one since i already have my ace ring September 16, 2020 at 11:28PM

do you think there's something wrong with us :( September 16, 2020 at 11:27PM

Whelp, dumbasses gonna dumbass 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ don’t let those anti-ace folk get in your head, they’re honestly irrelevant September 16, 2020 at 11:27PM

In my view, there should be a dating phase before two people decide to become exclusive. That is, both people are still actively dating others. The last five or so women (between 31-39) I've (34M) dated have asked after three dates or so whether they see us going anywhere. That seems too soon, IMO. When talking it through, they mention that they don't like dating someone without a purpose. Of course, when they mention that, we both part ways, as it's a big incompatibility. Some have mentioned that I have commitment issues, but I feel like they were just trying to be exclusive too soon. Personally, I want my next relationship to be my last. So I have to make sure there's full compatibility. And you can't make sure within a few dates. I would think that the best approach to dating is to casually date other people and to come to the conclusion that things click very well with one in particular. Ideally, both would come to that same conclusion around the same time.