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Showing posts from October, 2022

Hook ups = empty feeling inside

I’m a 29 year old male I find hook ups meaningless I always feel empty after Does anyone else feel the same? Or am I just weird Submitted November 01, 2022 at 01:11AM I’m a 29 year old male I find hook ups meaningless I always feel empty afterDoes anyone else feel the same? Or am I just weird

Is not having sex right away really a deal breaker?

I hear some people need to have sex right away to see what they're working with which I understand and you should do whatever you're comfortable with but I can't do that. Plus being penetrated already feels good to me so I don't see what more I would need to feel satisfied? Lol. I feel like I have to gain some sort of relationship and actually really get to like them which might take awhile but from every person I went on dates with that's what they want right away after like 2-3 dates. I wouldn't force myself to do something I don't want to do and believe me I did and I felt disgusted. I don't think sex is disgusting I just feel like "who are you?" I have no affection for this person that I just had sex with and it doesn't feel good to me. I also fear if I do have sex with someone I actually really REALLY like they hit me with the "let's just make this a sexual relationship" then my feelings get hurt. I am only 22 and broke

wanting to have a conversation about my values and needs in the relationship

I would like my partner to become aware of my values and needs in a relationship. I want to have this conversation before we get too far ahead He works full time so I don't want to stress him out or bother him How can I go about this? How should I begin the conversation Tl.dr how to have a conversation to talk about my needs and core values Submitted November 01, 2022 at 12:12AM I would like my partner to become aware of my values and needs in a relationship. I want to have this conversation before we get too far ahead He works full time so I don't want to stress him out or bother him How can I go about this? How should I begin the conversationTl.dr how to have a conversation to talk about my needs and core values

Clubbing solo - tips/ advice

Anyone here goes out clubbing alone in order to meet girls? Any tips/ ideas for approaches? Submitted November 01, 2022 at 12:12AM Anyone here goes out clubbing alone in order to meet girls? Any tips/ ideas for approaches?

/u/Firemorfox on My wife is ace. Please help me understand better how to honor that better.

u/Patient_Yam4747 Pinging you so you read the comment I am replying to. Also my own two cents: Everybody is different, even in this subreddit for aces there's 180k people and every single person may have a unique experience of how asexuality is for them. It sounds like your wife is sex-repulsed, so I think pregnancy without sex might be the sort of thing you're looking for. Also, you are a very kind person, and I thank you for considering how it is for them and doing your best to not pressure them or anything. Good wishes for you and your wife. October 31, 2022 at 10:52PM

/u/Twenty444 on I learned that I am asexual today. I am pretty down right now about life and my looks. I really did not think it would be so difficult to find a relationship in life. I just want someone to love 🥺

I'm so sorry, but I got this wrong. I am not Asexual. I am Demisexual. It makes much more sense. I don't like hooking up. I would prefer to get to know someone and great a bond with them before we have sex. October 31, 2022 at 10:44PM

I got super unexpectedly ghosted. WTF happened?

Ghosting sucks. I was dating a guy a few months ago and everything was going really well, we’d always say we can’t believe how easily we get along with each other. We did sleep with each other but eventually we had to call it quits because of personal life commitments on my end (we always remained on good terms and I was always honest with him). Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, we start texting again. We go out for lunch, we were getting along really great. He texts me everyday, he opens the car door for me, we watch movies together etc. On Wednesday we ended up at his place (we fooled around but didn’t have sex) and he ended up opening up to me and saying he really likes me, and he’s never had feelings like this before. But he kept saying things like “oh god, what am I doing, I actually have really really strong feelings for you it scares me” he texted me when I got home and said “speak to you tomorrow gorgeous and thanks for an amazing night” The next day? Nothing. No text.

/u/General_Unable on Why are allosexuals so baffled by the idea of a non-sexual relationship?

wow. hearing that makes my heart break :( October 31, 2022 at 12:07AM

Weekly Vents and Successes Thread - October 31, 2022

Welcome to /r/dating_advice . Please use this weekly venting/celebration thread to get something off your chest, good or bad, without asking for or offering concrete advice. All individual venting or ranting threads will be removed and directed here. Remember our rules , be sure to include ages and genders if you need help with a specific situation. Please report any rule violations using the report button. Submitted October 31, 2022 at 12:00AM Welcome to /r/dating_advice. Please use this weekly venting/celebration thread to get something off your chest, good or bad, without asking for or offering concrete advice. All individual venting or ranting threads will be removed and directed here.Remember our rules, be sure to include ages and genders if you need help with a specific situation.Please report any rule violations using the report button.

Should I have stopped another guy getting her Snapchat?

Met some girl at a Halloween party last night and while I was talking to her some guy came up and got her snap right in front of me and I didn’t do anything about it because my logic is she’s not my girl so I couldn’t care any less, but it was demasculating af. I talked to her for a solid 20-30 minutes though and I found out her mom is my boss so idk what’s the move now lol. Submitted October 31, 2022 at 12:01AM Met some girl at a Halloween party last night and while I was talking to her some guy came up and got her snap right in front of me and I didn’t do anything about it because my logic is she’s not my girl so I couldn’t care any less, but it was demasculating af. I talked to her for a solid 20-30 minutes though and I found out her mom is my boss so idk what’s the move now lol.

/u/tarnishedhuntress on i HATE kissing

I'm utterly disgusted and every time someone tried to "get deeper" my stomach was in my throat. October 30, 2022 at 11:21PM

/u/austenaaaaa on Why are allosexuals so baffled by the idea of a non-sexual relationship?

Not sure why you're getting downvoted. The first comment was worded in a way that left some room for negative interpretation re allos. I don't think you're saying that was intentional or that the commenter holds negative views towards allosexuality, I think you were trying to add to their comment to tighten up the meaning? October 30, 2022 at 11:21PM

/u/Jpf995 on Today I just found out I'm ace and came out to my girlfriend now I'm worried

Tbh that is a bigger step than I ever have. I was never honest with my previous exes and I wish I did. It’s better that she knows now. Finding out later could complicate things even more. Keep your head up and cross each bridge as you get there. October 30, 2022 at 12:18AM

/u/MaryHSPCF on How annoying is it being called a virgin when you know your asexual

How annoying it is that people think that being a virgin is bad. That's what then gives way to social pressure. October 30, 2022 at 12:17AM

Can you have O relationship experience and still establish yourself as the leader in the relationship as a man?

I want to start dating still fairly young but I know my worth as a man. I have O relationship experience, but I do have a lot of knowledge when it comes to women nature and ground rules to a relationship plus im mature for my age. I just don't want any women taking advantage of me because they know this is my first real relationship. Submitted October 30, 2022 at 12:08AM I want to start dating still fairly young but I know my worth as a man. I have O relationship experience, but I do have a lot of knowledge when it comes to women nature and ground rules to a relationship plus im mature for my age. I just don't want any women taking advantage of me because they know this is my first real relationship.

girlfriends hair inches my face

When I cuddle with my girlfriend how do I get her hair to stop making my face itch Submitted October 30, 2022 at 12:11AM When I cuddle with my girlfriend how do I get her hair to stop making my face itch

/u/KandleStixcks on You don’t need to have experienced sex to be Asexual.

“But-but how do you know?”🤪🤪 yes 100 percent agree with you it’s like telling a straight person “but how do you know you aren’t gay?” And vice versa it’s an insult all around October 29, 2022 at 11:32PM

/u/justyourshyasexual on Is anybody else tired of hearing that every relationship without sex automatically won't work out?

I get that 100%. I don't see why allos feel like sex is the most important thing in the world or desire it so much. Like, it's just sex. October 29, 2022 at 11:32PM

/u/Zeke_GachaOG on I think it’s possible I’m asexual.

We also have some gluten free garlic bread if you are allergic to gluten on the right or you can make some in the kitchen in the back. Please enjoy your stay October 29, 2022 at 11:31PM

is it weird to like the same girl on multiple dating apps?

i want to clarify i have not matched, liked or messaged this girl in the past. so im basing this question on the following. 1. she might not have a paid subscription therefor she will never see my like. 2. she hasn't used one specific app for a while so she wont see my message for a long time or wont log back in. 3. she doesn't see my likes or messages because she receives too many. Submitted October 29, 2022 at 01:11AM i want to clarify i have not matched, liked or messaged this girl in the past.so im basing this question on the following. 1. she might not have a paid subscription therefor she will never see my like. 2. she hasn't used one specific app for a while so she wont see my message for a long time or wont log back in. 3. she doesn't see my likes or messages because she receives too many.

/u/austenaaaaa on hate allosexuals and it makes me hate everyone

Being insecure doesn't make you the asshole, but how you expressed it here made you sound like one. As long as this was a vent post and you're not expressing it this way IRL you're probably fine. The important thing with this insecurity (as with any insecurity) is to take ownership of it and not make it other peoples' problem or act like it's strictly true, which it sounds like you're acknowledging when you acknowledge you shouldn't ask your friend about this stuff if it makes you feel this way. October 29, 2022 at 12:22AM

/u/arain26 on rant about relationships

As someone with family members that ask this all the time, I feel your pain!!! Just remember your worth isn't defined by someone else. You're fucking awesome on your own, so keep doing what you're doing!! I think the people that are actually worth keeping around (if you have a choice) are the ones that will recognize that and see you for who you are October 29, 2022 at 12:22AM

Should I let him go?

I (29F) have been talking to this guy (26M) for 2 or 3 months through my friend. He works at studio and my band recorded with him. After that, we hung out once. He's a nice person but he is in a tough situation now. He gets less money from his job so he is trying to get a better job now. He said he's really busy like he hasn't seen his friends for a long time because of his crazy job. But he wants to go to the city (he lives 1 hour away)where I live in to hang out with me more once he gets a new job. I understand his situation and try to support him like sending him some job infos etc. This weekend, I will go to his studio with my band to record. I asked him if he wants to do something after that. He said he will go to a party on sat that will be his first time in a while. And he has an interview on Monday so he won't be able to stay out late on Sunday. Friday, I mean today, he will go to his friend's birthday party. When I heard it, it really made me sad. It fel

/u/Kittycats12345 on hate allosexuals and it makes me hate everyone

yeah I felt like the transphobia comparison was a bit different since that's an actual minority group. Allo's are 99% of the population October 28, 2022 at 11:40PM

/u/No-Maze-Land on Does anybody else dread Halloween due to all of the unnecessary sexualization of stuff?

You sound like you want to preach purity culture and that's just not it. Calling people sluts for wearing sexy outfits screams Puritanism and, frankly, does present a penchant for sex negativity. You should be ashamed of yourself for casting stones unto people that have done nothing wrong but enjoy a fun holiday. October 28, 2022 at 11:39PM

/u/The_Rocketsmith on Surprised and happy to see demisexuality mentioned (in an ad) on the tube today

my condolences for living in *ngland October 28, 2022 at 12:15AM

/u/austenaaaaa on Angela Chen's 'Ace' is an amazing book -especially about culture

I just read some preview pages and immediately ordered a copy. I'd somehow missed this book, so thanks for bringing it to my attention! October 28, 2022 at 12:13AM

Should I do this..?

This is all over the place, I deeply apologize. I’m just spewing :) I (F21) want to do something nice for this guy (M20) that I’ve been talking to. Either our 1st or 2nd time hanging out, he mentioned, I think generally, he would like it if a girl (I can’t remember if he explicitly said one he was dating or not) brought him food. If we’re talking specifics, his words were “if you got off work early and brought/surprised me [with] food, I would love that” or something along the lines of that. I’m not sure if he’s speaking in general or specific to me? He knows when I get off of work, which is 2 in the afternoon and I know he starts work which is at around 4/5 in the evening. I love to cook and give people food so I’m just wondering if this would be weird? I know I’m probably just overthinking it but should I ask if I can bring him lunch during work today (Thursday) or food before work tomorrow (Friday)? I would of course ask him first if this would be okay. We’ve only hung out twi

Getting beyond superficial discussion

So I figure I know what this will lead to, but I'm curious to potentially get a different way of looking at things that might trigger something good. My extremely quick background: Male, late 20s, work for myself, am healthy/workout, honestly I look decent outside of things I consider glaring flaws others will likely not notice - at least at first. We all have these I guess. Moved a couple months ago. Live in very young-population city with good mix of city/nature. Always walking my dog, out and about. Know nobody here outside friendly hello's in my apartment and small talk. Growing up I had these odd/minor medical and physical issues to fix that were nothing major, but when put all together and over the years of dealing with it & procedures to correct, it resulted in my stunted social skills. Rather, my self-esteem to be honest. Was always in my shell and suppose I still am. I do consider myself to be witty and acceptably social - once I get to know you. Getting to t

I just gave my crush my number!!! How do I ask her out?

No text found Submitted October 27, 2022 at 06:49PM No text found

/u/onemoreswallow on Does anybody else dread Halloween due to all of the unnecessary sexualization of stuff?

Love how you truly believe that I actually care whether it changes anything or not October 27, 2022 at 11:05PM

/u/Lemon-Over-Ice on So, I thought I was completely asexual due to my SA. Turns out that I only have a sex drive for my current boyfriend. Never felt this before, it’s so weird. I can’t express how weird it is.

"I can't express how weird it is" haha that's funny. Is it a good weird or a bad weird? October 27, 2022 at 11:05PM

I’m(21m) worried…

As the title says, I’m worried and somewhat unhappy. I’m a senior in college studying Electrical Engineering. I go workout, rock climb, hike, etc. I’ve lost 40 pounds and finally developed a sense of self-esteem. But for some weird reason… girls do not like me. Granted, I am 5’5” so that does not help, but I cannot change that. I guess I’m just bothered by this, and I really just want to make sure I can be the best version of myself and stay positive. Any advice or reassurance is appreciated! Submitted October 27, 2022 at 01:14AM As the title says, I’m worried and somewhat unhappy. I’m a senior in college studying Electrical Engineering. I go workout, rock climb, hike, etc. I’ve lost 40 pounds and finally developed a sense of self-esteem. But for some weird reason… girls do not like me. Granted, I am 5’5” so that does not help, but I cannot change that. I guess I’m just bothered by this, and I really just want to make sure I can be the best version of myself and stay positive. A

/u/Sad_Hotel_710 on why do I masturbate, but never pursue sex with others?

Maybe you're aegosexual. The term is under the ace umbrella and basically is having libido but not feeling the connection between you and the object of arousal (iirc). Its something worth a little research. October 27, 2022 at 12:32AM

I Carry the Conversation

I have a 2nd date coming up but I’ve noticed I carry the conversation a majority of the time (both in person and via text). She always responds enthusiastically and will get into the conversation I start but after it’s over, that’s it. She doesn’t put forth any real effort to continue talking. Part of me thinks she’s not super interested but when I asked her on the first date, she was wide open with availability. And when I asked her on the 2nd date, she seemed really excited and again, finding a date and time that worked for her was easy. I’m getting a little bit of mixed signals on this one. Thoughts? Submitted October 27, 2022 at 12:07AM I have a 2nd date coming up but I’ve noticed I carry the conversation a majority of the time (both in person and via text). She always responds enthusiastically and will get into the conversation I start but after it’s over, that’s it.She doesn’t put forth any real effort to continue talking. Part of me thinks she’s not super interested but

/u/kat_in_a_boxx on Can I, as an asexual person, think that someone is pretty/attractive without actually being attracted to them? Or does that mean I'm just not asexual??

Attractions to a person is not the same thing as sexual Attractions. I mean... is it you are just enamored with them or do they make you horney? I find that if I am attracted enough to a person ad an individual and the setting is just so, I can actually desire the act. Although, once I've done it a few times, I'm pretty much over that and only continue to more or less please my partner. No matter how good it was, I find myself preferring not to do it. I think it's normal to have some hormonal instinct, however, the true nature of our sexuality is likely to be the long-term over riding factor. Anyone else feel this way? October 26, 2022 at 11:21PM

/u/NotACactus28 on Was I wrong for saying that I'm not straight?

Straight by some definitions, not by others. The words just too vague imo October 26, 2022 at 11:21PM

Keep ending up in short term relationships (24) F

So, I’ve recently just broke up with my bf and we were together for about 6 months. But, previously I have dated other guys and it’s always the same where we end up starting out and hitting it off but then break things off 3-6 months in. This has been happening for the last four years ever since I started dating. I’ve taken breaks in between from 3-9 months to reconstruct myself. But each time the guy just either always says they don’t have the same feelings anymore or that they are struggling with something and need to get in a better headspace. I’ve asked friends for advice but I always either get “he was playing games from the start” or “ don’t think about it too much”. But, I’m really just feeling like I’m lacking something that allows or makes it so easy for other girls to keep guys interested in them. I’m not very clingy at all I tend to like my space and see my SO when we both can and I understand that work and life happens so I don’t get upset when things come up or we have t

What to talk about?

Got this girls number from my co worker, never met her lol Just really weird because I never met her, I had to just txt her out of the blue. She is a church girl, and we talked about food, her career. And even asked her out to a small food festival, but said she worked on Sunday’s and didn’t even offer another day smh We exchanged ig, but i feel like she’s to good of a girl based of her pics, while im the guy that goes out etc based off my pics ( which are old pics from like 2015) Submitted October 26, 2022 at 12:18AM Got this girls number from my co worker, never met her lolJust really weird because I never met her, I had to just txt her out of the blue. She is a church girl, and we talked about food, her career. And even asked her out to a small food festival, but said she worked on Sunday’s and didn’t even offer another day smhWe exchanged ig, but i feel like she’s to good of a girl based of her pics, while im the guy that goes out etc based off my pics ( which are old pics

If you had one phone call to win a girl back, what would you say?

I went on a few dates with a girl, and we hit it off well. She suddenly said she doesn’t think it will work without reason. I’m going to talk with her in the next day or two. I feel we really get along well and have a lot in common. I want to go out with her again. Thoughts on what I should say? Submitted October 26, 2022 at 12:22AM I went on a few dates with a girl, and we hit it off well. She suddenly said she doesn’t think it will work without reason. I’m going to talk with her in the next day or two. I feel we really get along well and have a lot in common. I want to go out with her again. Thoughts on what I should say?

I [M21] met this girl [F23] and we kissed and now I'm confused

So basically I joined a club at my university and this girl was assigned as my "buddy" for the semester. She's older than me and she is a grad student. We do weekly activities for the club and like, 2 weeks ago it was homecoming week and one of the activities was attending one of the events, we got a little drunk and things escalated a little but nothing happened. Last Friday, she was drinking at a party, and she asked me to come, I arrived and she was pretty drunk; I started drinking too and we kissed multiple times, spent the night together talking and kissing and shit, and she told me multiple times that she finds attractive and not only cause she was drunk, but she also said that its wrong cause shes my "buddy". (Also, she did say multiple times that she wanted to have sex but I didn't want to because she was too drunk) Then, Sunday, we talked about it and she told me that she didn't know how she felt about everything and then I told her that I a

What's a reasonable amount of time to wait for somebody to confirm plans before you make plans with somebody else?

Talking to this woman over text. We made tentative plans for tomorrow night. This morning I texted her and asked her if we were still on. Waiting to hear back. I think if I don't hear from her by tomorrow about noon then I'm just going to assume it's canceled and she's not interested. She has told me twice now that she isn't "glued to her phone like most people". I'm not the kind of person to assume that someone is lying just because I don't like the answer so if you're going to tell me she's lying just fuck off. Submitted October 26, 2022 at 12:27AM Talking to this woman over text. We made tentative plans for tomorrow night. This morning I texted her and asked her if we were still on. Waiting to hear back. I think if I don't hear from her by tomorrow about noon then I'm just going to assume it's canceled and she's not interested.She has told me twice now that she isn't "glued to her phone like most people&q

/u/AdSpecialist5387 on Are there any famous people who are out as ace?

That's awesome! I googled and here's a quote from Tim's book: I knew what I wasn’t: I wasn’t interested in boys, and I really wasn’t interested in girls. For many years, I described myself as asexual, and I still think that’s closest to the truth. October 25, 2022 at 11:15PM

/u/Narrow_Interview_366 on What age were you when you realised you were ace?

29 October 25, 2022 at 11:13PM

/u/Fala1 on Are there any famous people who are out as ace?

Correct. Her video is what actually pushed me over the edge to identify as ace myself. October 25, 2022 at 11:09PM

/u/knightfenris on Am l ace or am l on antidepressants?

Meds don’t mess with your sexual attraction, they only can fuck with your libido. They’re two different things. October 25, 2022 at 12:08AM

Dating someone who is avoiding you

When you first start dating, you might have a lot in common. You’re both into the same things and you find it hard to break up with them often as you would like. But when you feel avoided in your relationship, it can be difficult getting to the truth about why. How do you cope when someone is avoiding and hurting your feelings? Most of the time, we avoid people because they’re not going to change our minds about anything and won’t solve our problems. In other words, they aren’t worth our time or attention. So what we do, do we just keep ignoring them and hoping for the best? It doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes people just need a cup of tea, a word of advice and some space in their lives. It’s easy to feel freaked out – First, you probably don’t know why they’re avoiding you because there’s no obvious reason. You’re going to start thinking that they’re rejecting you because they don’t want to be in a relationship with you. You’re afraid they’ll say things you either don’t wa

/u/dotCoder876 on Am I asexual?

I would suggest looking into "demiromantic", "sex-indifferent", asexual October 24, 2022 at 10:48PM

/u/CorgiKnits on Allo ace Relationship

Ive been with my husband for 20 years, long before I knew what asexuality even was. We’re still together and very, very happy. ETA: I’m ace, my husband is bi. October 24, 2022 at 10:47PM

/u/TraptorKai on If Lust is one of the deadly sins, why do Aphobes damn us to hell for not having it.

Because people like that are so far from their faith, they damn anything they dont understand. While im not a fan of most religious people, there are a lot of caring folks out there. But theyre shouted out by asshats. October 24, 2022 at 10:45PM

/u/Emotional_Pound_1705 on Allo ace Relationship

I'm ace with my wife who is allo and we been together for almost 5 years and doing great. Just communicating and understand each other needs and wants. You already laid th ground work for what you both want so that's a great start/sign. October 24, 2022 at 10:41PM

/u/puppykat00 on If Lust is one of the deadly sins, why do Aphobes damn us to hell for not having it.

In addition to those religious aspects, there's also the idea of martyrdom and suffering for one's faith. The fact that we do not have to struggle to resist lust is another reason why they gat mad. October 24, 2022 at 10:37PM

Awkwardness of asking a girl out in your mid/late 20's

Okay, so, I'm 26(m). I've dated plenty my adult life, but almost all I've met on online dating apps/sites. Besides maybe one or two that friends set me up with. And back when I was in highschool I was never really lucky. I mean, I asked out awkwardly, plenty of girls, but I don't remember dating at all back then. I don't have a problem with online dating. It works. I've met and dated a few good girls thanks to it. But, the issue is, it's so limited in comparison to other ways you meet in person. The past year or so, I purposefuly went on a break, but recently decided to start dating again. I hoped on some good apps and realized how limited it is. Along with that, I met a very nice, pretty young woman in my age group, with many things in common, at my university in a course we took. We've become friends, and found we have common friends as well. I'm very interested her and would love to ask her out. The issue is... How the hell do you ask a girl

/u/sinnamorollangel on asexuality & period hormones

thank u!! i really appreciate knowing that other ppl also experience this <3 October 23, 2022 at 11:22PM

/u/FinalGirlEmRoe on I need help with phrases to say to acephobic people

"I literally don't give a fuck about your feelings on this topic. It's my sexuality and identity, just because it's new information to you /different from yours doesn't mean it's not real. There's more than two sexualities." October 23, 2022 at 11:09PM

/u/ZanyDragons on As an asexual person, do you feel romantically or sexually attracted to fictional characters? (including anime)

Mm not really attracted to like I don’t want much to do with them but I can think designs are really pretty or appealing. October 23, 2022 at 11:08PM

/u/Gay-ace-or-smth on happy ace week y'all!

Happy ace week to you too! October 23, 2022 at 11:08PM

/u/QueenCooki3 on Does anyone else feel repulsed by their own bodies?

I feel like this and I'm extremely confident in my gender, so i don't think it has to be a dysphoria thing October 23, 2022 at 11:07PM

/u/Veryniceindeed7 on Does anyone else feel repulsed by their own bodies?

That’s funny because after posting this I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m non-binary lol October 23, 2022 at 11:04PM

So nice guys always finish last?

It really looks that way sometimes Submitted October 23, 2022 at 12:29AM It really looks that way sometimes

Why do all of my casual encounters always ask me not to wear a condom?

For some quick background, I live in a large American city and participate in the casual sex scene. I typically meet girls on Tinder, go out for drinks and we go back to my place or theirs to have fun. I've only been doing this regularly for the past couple years, hooked up with ~20 women so far and I've noticed a trend - most of the girls I see ask me not to wear a condom. I find this peculiar because in the past when I was in relationships, my gfs always wanted me to wear a condom and would rarely ever have sex without it. Could any women elaborate on this, why would all of these women ask me not to use a condom? Is there some kind of ulterior motive at play here? Submitted October 23, 2022 at 12:49AM For some quick background, I live in a large American city and participate in the casual sex scene. I typically meet girls on Tinder, go out for drinks and we go back to my place or theirs to have fun.I've only been doing this regularly for the past couple years, ho

Went on a date in another country. Went well but should I do something or wait until I move there?

I 24M was in Europe for a work trip a few weeks ago and also to see if i wanna move there. I decided I would do so within the next year. While there I matched with a girl. I used my nickname instead of my real name (I never intended on hooking up, just wanted to chat to people). Anyway vibes were good so we decided to meet up just for fun before I leave. It started really late at night because I had work during the day but i think the date went well. We talked until the bar closed well past midnight (which I appreciate as she works long hours and had work the next day) and neither of us looked at our phone at all. Anyway I walk her back, I had a call with a different timezone so had to call it a night anyway. We hugged and she said hope you come back soon for another trip. I texted her after saying i had a great time and she agreed and said i should let her know when i'm back. We then flirted for a couple days about going on a second date if we had the time. It died down eventua

/u/Yandere_bt_tsundere on Is it aphobic to tell an asexual person that maybe they have will find someone they will enjoy having sex with?

Wow. You okay? None of the comments even said anything remotely similar to what you said... Chill sir. It's not a competition of who is being discriminated against the most. October 23, 2022 at 12:18AM

Tips for first date as a 21m with adhd? the lucky girls 29f for context.

The questions up above so I’m just typing this cuz I’m scared of auto delete I’m so excited for this date Submitted October 23, 2022 at 12:13AM The questions up above so I’m just typing this cuz I’m scared of auto delete I’m so excited for this date

/u/corinne177 on Relationship with asexual s.o. causing arguments in family.

"I had sex with your mother whether she wanted to or not or liked it or not, so why shouldn't everyone else be like that? Why should you have some kind of special circumstances?" 🤔 😅 Seriously though, I think it's emasculation thing by proxy, of like how some men won't neuter or spay their dogs because they feel it subtracts from them and therefore from them as an owner. Seriously it's a thing. I mean I'm not comparing your father to a dog, but just the mentality. October 22, 2022 at 11:40PM

This girl is really confusing me

This is kind of long one due to the need for context, sorry! So this girl (20f) and I (22m) met in a photography class. I wanted to get to know her (we’ll call her Sadie) more cause I was interested, hence why I’m typing this now. We got an assignment that Sadie started falling behind in, where we had to take a photo each day with a film camera. So I offered to take her to this farm to get photos of the different animals, as a way to get to know her outside of class. We seem to hit it off and at one point Sadie mentions she used to bake, but hasn’t lately since she doesn’t have someone to bake for. As a broke college student I joked that she could always bake stuff for me if she needed a reason to bake, which she laughed at. About a week goes by and we meet up again for another assignment for landscape photos. Sadie had said prior that she wanted to hike one of the local trails but none of her friends were up for it. I said I had done a couple and offered to take her up one to get sun

/u/Corgiverse on would you/do you get naked with your partner as a form of intimacy?

This is the truth. I see so many naked people on a weekly basis that it’s just like “oh look. Another ass” (I’m a nurse) October 22, 2022 at 12:16AM

I’ve had a crush on him for years. Last night I slept in his bed.

The night before that, he slept in mine. Anyway, I’ve been acquaintances with this guy in my town who’s involved in the tattoo/piercing scene, has phenomenal taste in music and is just absolutely breathtaking beautiful for a few years. I saw him on tinder the other day and absolutely slid his dms on social media. Just a dorky, “hey I saw your mug on tinder” which sparked a really great conversation All of a sudden, we’ve hung out a few times in the last 72hrs and I’m so into him. He’s lovely and kind and gentle, and even let me catch a glimpse of his dominant side which I really look for in a sexual (or potentially sexual) partner. I’m just…headlocked. I’m in a little bit of shock that we’re hanging out I think, so I’m trying to keep my cool. Just needed to get this off my chest. Submitted October 21, 2022 at 11:56PM The night before that, he slept in mine.Anyway, I’ve been acquaintances with this guy in my town who’s involved in the tattoo/piercing scene, has phenomenal tas

Why is finding love so hard?

That is all. Submitted October 22, 2022 at 12:00AM That is all.

I need some feedback

So I(14m, can give better description if wanted) have been going on daily runs(for my mental and physical health) and the past 2 days i have seen the same group of 2 girls(somewhere around my age, again, can give better description if wanted) and, OH. MY. GOD. they are absolutely stunning, I have never seen a girl my age that is so beautiful, and they have the cutest giggles I have ever heard. They are leaps and bounds out of my league. But I want to go up ant try to talk to them in some way, shape, or form. But the 2 times I've tried I got like a crippling panic attack thing(I don't even know how to describe it), and they are LITERALLY all I can think about, even when I try to take my mind off of them, I just can't seem to do it. I want something to happen but I don't know how to get something to happen. So what do I do? Submitted October 22, 2022 at 12:05AM So I(14m, can give better description if wanted) have been going on daily runs(for my mental and physi

I put my number on a piece of paper & gave to a girl, did I fumble

This was my first time ever approaching a random girl, I was on the train nd i noticed her and i thought she was really cute. I'd never tried to talk up a random girl cuz I'm shy and I was too nervous to strike up a conversation. But i told myself I have to figure out a way to go for it. So i took out a lil piece of paper and put my number in it and I planned to give it to her once I got up for my stop (in hopes she wasnt getting off b4 me lol) Coincidentally enough, we had the same stop! which mightve screwed things up cuz we were walking the same way.. and so I kinda panicked and went up to her and just gave it to her and said "you dropped this" LOL. Yes, it was really awkward, and i just walked away after 🤦‍♂️ I feel like I couldve made better use of the opportunity to try and have and actual convo but I didn't :/ Unsurprisingly she hasn't texted me or anything yet and I highly doubt she will, What are your guys thoughts on this kinda approach? I feel

Guy said he didn't want to talk to me anymore

So this guy at work let me know he was interested in me and he was very straight up. No shyness there. He gave me his number and we started texting. He asked me if I thought he was attractive and I told him I didn't know him well enough to answer that (I have only seen him once as he works in a different building). But I told him I would be open to getting to know him. He got very very upset that I wouldn't say if he was attractive. And basically said "this isn't going to work out". It was bizarre that he got that upset knowing I've only seen him once. Submitted October 22, 2022 at 12:16AM So this guy at work let me know he was interested in me and he was very straight up. No shyness there. He gave me his number and we started texting. He asked me if I thought he was attractive and I told him I didn't know him well enough to answer that (I have only seen him once as he works in a different building). But I told him I would be open to getting to know

How much would you drive to meet someone on a first date?

I (20s F) have been texting this guy from Tinder for almost a week now, I think he’s really cool and attractive and I’d like to meet him, but neither of us has said something about meeting up yet, and he also lives ~35 mins away from me (though his work is only 10 mins away from me but idk if he’d like to date after like a 8-hour shift). I don’t have a car so I’d need him to drive to me basically… Is it too much to ask if I brought up the idea of meeting up? Also I’m not sure what to expect like if we’d go on a date or if it’s just a hookup, and where we would go… Submitted October 21, 2022 at 01:09AM I (20s F) have been texting this guy from Tinder for almost a week now, I think he’s really cool and attractive and I’d like to meet him, but neither of us has said something about meeting up yet, and he also lives ~35 mins away from me (though his work is only 10 mins away from me but idk if he’d like to date after like a 8-hour shift). I don’t have a car so I’d need him to drive

He left without saying goodbye?

I’ve been chatting with this person for a little while, maybe about a month. Finally met them in person and I was very attracted to them, enjoyed the night quite a bit, we went back at my house, and ended the night how most adult dates end. In my bed. I woke up around 6am to them just being GONE, don’t remember them waking me up to say goodbye. I do remember that at some point in the night they said they had things to do today, and I’m not mad they left. Just never had a date leave without saying goodbye? Does this mean the date didn’t go as well as it seemed? Or they just didn’t actually like me? Did they just do this because maybe they didn’t want to feel “annoying” waking me up? Submitted October 21, 2022 at 01:13AM I’ve been chatting with this person for a little while, maybe about a month. Finally met them in person and I was very attracted to them, enjoyed the night quite a bit, we went back at my house, and ended the night how most adult dates end. In my bed. I woke up

/u/lehh258 on anyone else who is repulsed by one gender , but indifferent to another ?

Yep, I'm also indifferent to women and repulsed by men. This regarding romance/sex. October 20, 2022 at 11:45PM

/u/Holow4499 on My sister told me i might be asexual? help

(Aegosexual doesn’t mean “asexual who watches porn” btw) October 20, 2022 at 11:44PM

/u/uncannisim on Thing people have said to me because I’m ace

Forgive me if this is ignorant but wouldn't that just make you lesbian? Otherwise, would straight men be considered ace towards men and sex-favorable to women? The only thing I can think of are gray aces but then wouldn't that make you gray ace instead? October 20, 2022 at 11:31PM

Are any apps besides the big 3 (hinge, Tinder, bumble) worth it for a 30M looking for a 26-32F?

Basically what the title saying, just wondering if there are any other online dating avenues besides the big 3. I’ve been struggling to get quality matches (and quality profiles in my deck) the last few months and wondering if there are any other apps I should try. I’ve tried the league before and didn’t like it, I had Match for a bit a while back but quality in my age group was definitely lacking. Same thing with OKC and Coffee Meet Bagel. Wondering if anyone else has had luck on any of these and I should give them a shot again. I’m an average to good looking guy, in shape, likes to have fun and explore. Hoping to find someone that also is looking to settle down eventually if it feels right, 26-32 ideally, average to good looking, in shape but not all about working out (similar to me), and just fun in general Submitted October 21, 2022 at 12:10AM Basically what the title saying, just wondering if there are any other online dating avenues besides the big 3. I’ve been strugglin

First time I've been excited about dating in awhile, and his interest seemed to peter off? Or am I misreading?

I've been single for about a year and half. I've done a bit of dating, mostly gone on dates where it clearly wasn't right, mutual disinterest, maybe a few dates hoping to build chemistry but going nowhere, etc. Recently, I was introduced to an amazing guy. I feel like we really connected, had lots in common, made each other laugh. We had a great first date, and then we see each other at a dinner I hosted with our mutuals, and we talked the whole time and he was the last person to leave, and then we went out again, went home together, and had great sex and great conversation. The whole time, he was so amazing and kind to me. He seemed so interested in learning about me, and glad to be with me, and told me how beautiful I was, etc. He texted me after our night together how much he enjoyed being with me... I am usually a bit cautious, but he seemed excited and on board! Anyways, I had to go out of town this week, but we texted each other, the interest seemed there... and then

Someone you run into regularly asks you out. You reject them. How would you want them to respond so you don’t feel awkward next time you see them?

I (M30s) have been out of the dating world a long time. Planning on asking someone out, but I really want to avoid them feeling anything negative if they say no. Anything I can say or do to let them know rejection is totally okay? Submitted October 20, 2022 at 01:08AM I (M30s) have been out of the dating world a long time. Planning on asking someone out, but I really want to avoid them feeling anything negative if they say no. Anything I can say or do to let them know rejection is totally okay?

This girl at school

This girl at my school is very attractive and I'm tryna be friends with her but since she thinks i made uncomfortable talking about her body she only wants to be acquaintances as of right now what should I do? Submitted October 20, 2022 at 01:12AM This girl at my school is very attractive and I'm tryna be friends with her but since she thinks i made uncomfortable talking about her body she only wants to be acquaintances as of right now what should I do?

/u/wholesome_as_fudge on this is kinda dumb and me having an existential crisis, but they say a life without love is not worth living, but what if i don't love? Am i worth living?

I feel like society's insistence that romantic/sexual love is the only thing worth caring about in life is silly, and honestly, insidious. It flattens the full experience of life into a Hallmark card. We as humans are capable of so many types of connections and intimacy it's incredible. If you don't have any immediate connections, you can always connect with yourself. Try to be your own best friend. This is easier said than done, but you do have a lifetime to get to know yourself. I think that's worth so much. October 20, 2022 at 12:26AM

/u/Mystiquesword on Thing people have said to me because I’m ace

Ive stopped coming out once i was told not to by other aces. I have had a few gay friends through work now but its kind of unfair that they get to be out & about….& i dont. But so long as they dont know, everything is fine. Yet some moron here thinks it’s homophobic. No. Its just being protective of myself. Im perfectly fine with gay folks being gay. But i dont want any acephobic slander comments coming my way, so i dont come out to them & warn other aces not to either. Exactly like how i was warned. It also hurts cuz unlike what that idiot up there said, i am extremely accepting of everyone (& i have been warned to not be so open by the way), so when i myself am not accepted, i get crushed. I just wish they were perfectly fine with me being ace. But it doesnt go both ways. Yet. October 20, 2022 at 12:20AM

Is he just looking to hook up?

So long story short last weekend at the NFL game we went too with a bunch of friends we were both drinking a little bit and he said to me he like how he has a great connection with me and we always have fun together. It was kinda random and i thought maybe he said that because of having a drink so i didn’t think much! In the past we hooked up twice but this was years ago. So yesterday was our friends birthday dinner and i was talking to him about i was so glad the cold weather has started and i love outdoor fires and love to cuddle in the winter and i asked him if he is the cuddling type and he goes sometimes. But he goes it would be hard for me to do that with you? He was like I don’t think i would be able to keep my hands off you. I just smiled! He hasnt ever been like open with his feelings with him. Its hard for me to read him, but from the outside do you think he might just trying to sleep with me again or something more? Submitted October 20, 2022 at 12:10AM So long story

/u/-InconspicuousMoose- on Absolutely love this

TIL there is a word for the group comprised of everyone who is not asexual. Thanks OP October 19, 2022 at 11:07PM

/u/white_lancer on Yesterday, i cried when I saw an ace character on Sex Education

Sex Education was actually the show that solidified for me that I was ace haha. So many different types of sexuality depicted, and none of them appealed to me. And then of course, that character shows up and is far more relatable to me than any of the rest. October 19, 2022 at 12:30AM

Just an advice

If you're an early twenties- mid twenties man, who aims to be in a serious relationship. -Just work hard on yourself. -Lets say you're 22 , 23, go for women that are >>29, ensure you're mature. Why? Women your age don't seek stability, they still like the prospects of fucking about. -not saying women above 29 don't/won't do the same, but the percentage is lower and you won't have to deal with much emotionally instability, mood swings. Thank you. Submitted October 19, 2022 at 12:05AM If you're an early twenties- mid twenties man, who aims to be in a serious relationship.-Just work hard on yourself. -Lets say you're 22 , 23, go for women that are >>29, ensure you're mature. Why? Women your age don't seek stability, they still like the prospects of fucking about. -not saying women above 29 don't/won't do the same, but the percentage is lower and you won't have to deal with much emotionally instability, mood swing

/u/Avrangor on Why boobs are overly sexualised (flairs: story, vent, discussion)

Breasta can also be triggering no? Covering genitals probably has to do with hygene October 18, 2022 at 11:33PM

/u/commandbuilders on So I'm a writer and I'd like to include nonsexual intimacy in my work more. What are some intimate/cute things that you'd do with a partner?

Gay cuddling October 18, 2022 at 11:33PM

/u/karoshikun on How many of us consider yourself to be "creators?"

artist 3D modeler October 18, 2022 at 11:32PM

/u/AuntChelle11 on How many of us consider yourself to be "creators?"

Crafts particularly yarn and fabric October 18, 2022 at 11:29PM

/u/GreekMythNerd on Struggling with my allo bf.

I've considered that too and while it would hurt me in some way I think I would be okay with it. He is not though, we have talked about that October 18, 2022 at 11:28PM

I'm confused about this woman's message

So some weeks back I matched with some girl on tinder and we started talking a lot. We shared a lot of things in common (same major, same interests in a lot of media, both do art, etc) so I asked for her Instagram. I get her Instagram and turns out that someone I was acquaintances with is her sister. We follow each other and talk some more, later she suggests that we should text in iMessage instead because she is more active there than Instagram, so I send my number and she messages me there. Some more talking and there are some messages such as her talking about how she is willing to read a book to me after I mentioned how I couldn't get into manga, how she wanted to start watch a show at the same time as me, she wanted me to send a voice audio of how to say my name, etc. I didn't think too much about it since I did not butcher anything But maybe two days ago though sends me these messages (I am going to alter some text just in case) "I sorta wanted to explain like w

Was I getting played by this girl? Super confusing situation with girl I was talking to

This girl approached me at a bar right before the school semester ended, got her number, and we went on a date. After the date she said she wanted to hangout again so we hungout at the bars together on the last night of school. Afterwords, I walked her home, she grabbed my hand, and we hugged goodbye. She told me she wanted to hangout during the summer once we got back home. During the summer she gave mixed signals. She told me she was excited to see me but bailed on a date, then unfollowed me and stopped our snap streak. I asked her what was up and she said she wanted to hangout still, just was using social media less and was super busy. Then she texted me saying she was going to be more free but never responded to my text about a potential date. We stopped texting each other. A month later she came back apologizing and explaining what had been up, telling me she had been involved in drama with a girl who was dating one of my friends. She said she didn't want me to get involved