One of my close friends sent me an infographic about it via text with “I think this might be you.” when I was in college. I was sitting in my lofted bunk bed and my college roommate (and one of my closest friends) was sitting in her bed across the room. I read it and everything just kind of fell into place. I finally felt like everything just made sense and it was incredible. All the dirty jokes I never understood. All the excuses I made to not go on dates. The fact that is never wanted to sleep with someone and that kissing just seemed unsanitary and uninteresting. So many little things in my life that finally made sense. Unfortunately I spent the next eight years constantly questioning whether or not it was true and maybe all the people who said “you just haven’t met the right person yet” we’re right as I desperately tried to make my societally-ingrained “dreams” come true. I’m 27 now and I’ve realized that my dreams are to come home and cozy up with a book or manga and my cats. To...

I’d say I’m mildly kinky. For me it’s about having fun playing the part or doing something that’s not inherently sexual but is read as sexual by my partner. I can straddle that line between actually sexual and not and it’s fun and exciting. I also kind of view it as playing a game? And the kinks are the things that make it interesting. Now I’m pretty tame. I mostly just enjoy some rope play and spanking. Mainly because they seriously add to my partners experience but don’t feel overly sexualized from my end. September 20, 2021 at 12:45AM

For me, kink feels completely different to anything sexual. It's not something I'm aroused by or anything like that, I just enjoy the activity. September 20, 2021 at 12:43AM

I'm not really sure of my specific label, but I just go with asexual. I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone, but I go from sex repulsed to sex neutral if I have a deep emotional connection with someone. I'm sure this is quite common. September 20, 2021 at 12:40AM

The phrase "looking at x through the lens of y" has helped a lot. You've spent your whole life looking at your romantic orientation through the lens of, well, not realizing it could be separate from your sexual orientation. Now that you realize they can be separate, and are looking at it through that lens, I'm not surprised a lot of us are also questioning our romantic identity. I'm trying to just embrace that questioning as "I didn't have the information before to really know myself fully on this topic, and now I do. So let's explore it." September 20, 2021 at 12:39AM

I 24F want to swing with my 26M fiancé! He is very into the idea, and we have been actively seeking out potential partners. Is there anything specific we should know before hand, any tips/tricks? It has been extremely hard to find another couple thus far- in ontario canada ! Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:42AM I 24F want to swing with my 26M fiancé! He is very into the idea, and we have been actively seeking out potential partners. Is there anything specific we should know before hand, any tips/tricks? It has been extremely hard to find another couple thus far- in ontario canada !

I’m 21 years old, and have done this since I lost my virginity. Regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or single and hooking up, I find that I’ve set very unrealistic standards when it comes for my sexual performance, and sometime can’t make good on them. For example, I have a rule that I won’t finish until the woman I’m involved with has finished at least once, preferably more; or a rule that positional changes need to be frequent if the girl isn’t moaning. If I don’t get the girl to finish by the time we’re tired out, I just refuse to finish, even on my own, as if I haven’t earned it. To give context, I am very dominant, I am honest and up front with things like size, and always under-promise, and do my best to over-deliver in terms of what will take place during an encounter, so there’s no unannounced expectations. Any tips for being less harsh? Is what I’m doing normal? Is this considered toxic even though it’s against myself? Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:43AM I’m...

I’m a guy and I recently got a Lelo Hugo. I tried using it with lube I already have for my sleeves but it has glycerin so it was super uncomfortable. I tried it with the glycerin free lube packet that came with it from Lelo and it was way better. I’m thinking about getting Tush Cush by Hello Cake. Has anyone tried that? What are some other water based or perhaps hybrid lubes that are good for anal that DONT have glycerin? Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:44AM I’m a guy and I recently got a Lelo Hugo. I tried using it with lube I already have for my sleeves but it has glycerin so it was super uncomfortable. I tried it with the glycerin free lube packet that came with it from Lelo and it was way better.I’m thinking about getting Tush Cush by Hello Cake. Has anyone tried that? What are some other water based or perhaps hybrid lubes that are good for anal that DONT have glycerin?

Greetings all, I (22M) do not have much sexual experience, I've never had penetrative sex. This causes a great deal of anxiety for me since the average age to lose your virginity is 17 (at least were I'm from) , so most people my age have had about 5 years of sexual experience. The girl I've recently been seeing is one of my college best friends, and it is just a matter of time before we take it to the bedroom and she figures out I have no idea how to please a woman. She has had her fair deal of experience, she lost her virginity at 16 and has been in various relationships and has also had many sexual encounters with older, experienced men. I am terrified at the thought of her finding out I am a virgin, and even more terrified that it will cause her to lose interest in me. I've been doing readings and research on how to be better in bed, but they don't help much since all of them take into account that you're not a virgin beforehand and have some idea of wha...

A girl I hooked up with with a girl who initially said she wanted to have sex and seemed so insistent on doing so. When I showed up it was a trick to get me to come because she said she didn't want sex which caught me off guard. I insisted we have sex but I never made any threat of any kind to her if she didn't agree, and I did not offer her anything in return for sex, all I did was be insistent. She was super needy for a relationship and honestly emotionally unstable and clearly manipulative to get me to come. She was doing this in order to get a sense of validation, and was really hoping to get validation from me by liking her sexually. In the end she agreed to have sex with me, but it seemed like she only did because she felt the need to impress me and to get my validation. Even though she did not really want to have sex, she only accepted to it because she thought it was what she needed to do to be in a relationship with me, I did not put that pressure on her. Now later on...

I M/21 identify as Demisexual, about 3 years ago I graduated high school and stopped talking to a girl, my best friend, who I would argue I loved, some time passed, I still wasn't over it and messaged her a while later, more as a way to vent my feelings in an effort to move on. Recently she split with the person who was stopping us from being together, started dating someone else, and then reached out to me. I thinking I was entirely over her, quickly realized I wasn't. I've tried getting out into the world of dating but always found her entering my mind. Trust me when I say she's a great person and I value her deeply as a friend, I don't want it to end but at the same time I can't look her in the eye without feeling this existential pain of it never happening. I want this feeling to stop, I want to be able to look at someone else and not have this back of the mind feeling that, if she became available, I could be there. Dating is already difficult, and It...

I’ve been on three dates with someone and really enjoyed each one. I’m really attracted and appreciative of this guy. On each date we’ve spent at least 1.5 hours walking around and talking and getting to know each other, and it really feels like the chemistry is there. The thing is, he’ll literally take days to respond to texts. He’ll suggest dates and made a move (ie we kissed) on our last one, but I responded to a text he sent on Wednesday and didn’t hear back until Saturday night. I messaged him about it last night and said I felt like he must be busy and I’m not trying to push him to go on dates and he just responded and told me he wants to actively date, but isn’t sure how much energy he can put into it right now. This is my first time doing online dating and I’m kind of confused. Is this casual dating ? It feels kind of hurtful- like it doesn’t really matter to him, when personally I would prioritize responding and trying to set up another date if I liked someone. I feel unsure ...

Well, I am not an amateur in dating at all and this shit just happened way too many times, I’m so confused. This Friday I went on a spontaneous date with a guy and something what I thought will last an hour, we’ve spent the time talking till 7 am in his car. He was telling me so much how pretty I am, how happy he is we clicked so well and how many more things we should do together blah blah. Generally the vibe and the sound was like the excitement is totally mutual. I texted him later that day (we both could only get a bit of sleep) and exchanged few messages but for the last one he didn’t respond me till today. (So it’s been almost 2 days). I just don’t understand :( If he enjoyed the time so much why would he leave me on read and don’t even initiate any more conversation? We talked so much how we both hate dishonestly and appreciated being directed. It’s so weird. I am wondering why this happens because it’s not the first time and I know it’s a quite common behaviour in the dati...

Well the outcast I know I am. I don’t have a social life nor do I attract the kind of man that I would want in person. From the time I joined Bumble earlier this week (not my first time), I sent maybe 10 messages and I think so far maybe only 1 person did not reply to me. Yet, he extended the match to give me more time to reply but still never responded to me. The guys reply to my initial message BUT almost all of them have stopped replying very early on in the conversation. Funny yet sad story: I send a message saying hi, a guy replies saying “hey, sorry I took long to reply, I am not on the app often”. I reply saying “Should I stop messaging 😋”. He says “I just have given up on the apps, but if you can message if you’re interested”. I ended up unmatching, he was so eager. TL;DR: Is online dating a big joke or am I repulsive? Submitted September 20, 2021 at 12:13AM Well the outcast I know I am. I don’t have a social life nor do I attract the kind of man that I would want in ...

This was a few weeks ago but I can’t get over it. Usually at our house I do most of the cleaning, all the grocery shopping, I work full time, it’s my responsibility to put food on the table for dinner, I make the lunches too and also put cute notes on his. This week I just couldn’t. I felt depleted and overwhelmed. I spend a lot of time in bed sorta depressed. He would come in and encourage me to get up and do something, but I didn’t get up. I hadn’t been eating either because I felt so down. That’s when this happened I was going to sleep and sent him a heart trying to let him know I loved him even though I wasn’t feeling that great. Me “❤️” Him “piss off” Me “wtf 😳” I thought he messaged the wrong person… Me “fuck you” Him “Fuck you” “You’ve been a useless piece of shit to me this week” “I’ve made every effort to spend time with you” “You can’t even buy Goddamn groceries and now I’m covered in soda trying to get something to eat” I was in tears. I couldn’t take another hateful mes...

Personally I’m indifferent to gender or what people label me as. September 19, 2021 at 11:44PM

Pretty much no big thing for me. Buddies looking at pics on a dial up connection meant they were just still nude shots like you'd see in calenders (probably wouldn't have reacted well to even a still of actual sex or overly explicit nudes). My family was pretty nonchalant about nudity when we were little (for us, mom and dad were not walking around naked) so I didn't have any taboos about it was totally unaware that is supposed to be exciting until said buddies mentioned it. September 19, 2021 at 11:44PM

People "hook up" and it's not because they like each other? Do I know what hook up means? September 19, 2021 at 11:44PM

when i was in the closet, i was kind of okay with it, like, it didn’t cause any stress or make me uncomfortable, but after i came out, i started feeling so free and understood? (even though my mum told me smth like “you don’t know what you are talking about” i still felt better when i told her) so in other words, i was comfortable, but now i’m even more comfortable and i feel like i’m free to be who i am September 19, 2021 at 11:41PM

Lol, yeah. I think a lot of people think I'm gay too, which I'm not. My mom is always like, "I'd support you no matter what" (even though over 5 years ago I told her I am ace and back then she said I wasn't old enough... but I know that's just because she didn't/doesn't understand asexuality yet because society is so darn sucky at ace education and representation). September 19, 2021 at 11:39PM