Yes I think that was my mistake. I wasn't trying to present excuses. Just the fact I understand her thought process. February 05, 2021 at 12:02AM

Ok so the brake down in the conversation to me here looks this. Basically you're sister just hates your ex, for let's be honest very valid reasons, and while you see that you keep trying to explain how you're ex can be ace and want sex, which also valid yes, but the wrinkle here is. It can sound like you're making excuses for your ex, and your sister just wants you both to say some version of "yeah screw that bitch" So honestly explaining your exs rational and how she can be valid is just a waste (she also doesnt sound like shes particularly worth you're compassion, but that's just me I got a big hard-on for cheaters) February 05, 2021 at 12:01AM

I wasn't expecting to see the same post here and in r/XCOM . February 05, 2021 at 12:00AM

Nudity lol. It's just a body. Also, sleepovers [with one's partner / preferred gender]. My bf sleeps over fairly regularly and has been since about 3 weeks into our relationship, more than a year ago. I'm sure everyone's thought we've been doin it the whole time lol but i just like sleeping next to him with 100% innocent and nonsexual intentions 😌 it feels so safe and warm February 04, 2021 at 11:58PM

wow that's rly aphobic February 04, 2021 at 11:57PM

Done :) hopefully you can use it! February 04, 2021 at 11:56PM

Since when are we notoriously transphobic/homophobic? February 04, 2021 at 11:55PM

I forgot dakimakuras exist and was like "how the frick do ppl think body pillows are sexual" until you brought them up....which is funny because i used to tell ppl my body pillow was an anime waifu body pillow (even though the pillowcase is just plain yellow with no design lol) February 04, 2021 at 11:54PM

Body pillows. They are insanely comfy and can really help your sleeping. And hey, sometimes you wanna put a picture of someone on it, be it a loved one a character or otherwise. That doesn’t mean you’re sexualizing them, it just means they’re comforting to you and it can be comforting to some to imagine that they’re cuddling with someone, platonically or romantically. I have a body pillow, but I always feel weird about it because of how drilled into my head it is that ‘having a body pillow is a sexual thing’ and I feel overwhelming guilt and shame. It sucks to deal with, but I think the payoff is worth it. I’ve been sleeping better, and even now starting to feel less guilty. I know why I have it, and I know it isn’t sexual. February 04, 2021 at 11:51PM

Boondoggles? That's an amazing word. February 04, 2021 at 11:50PM

As a religious person, these people make me wish I wasn't. 🙄😒 February 04, 2021 at 11:46PM

Is there anything I could have phrased better? February 04, 2021 at 11:38PM

Same thing happend to me, my father questioned my (dis)interest in men, but it was during a long talk about a lot of other things, not a straight up interrogation. When I started saying "to be honest..." he immediately backpedalled and said something along the line he doesn't want to know/doesn't want me to be honest. I just told him "listen, tbh, I'm just not interested in men nor women, I'm just not interested in dating at all rn." That's all I told him. He was fully expecting me to come out as gay at that moment and it made him uncomfortable. Telling him I'm ace would not make his reaction any better. And I wouldn't even tell him I'm ace anyway, because he would neither understand nor believe it's a thing. He likes to talk the same talk about "men's and women's ancient nature" and "biology" and "given psychology" as your father seems to. And I know it about him and that's why I would

The squad February 04, 2021 at 11:36PM

Because it's not something MEANT to be taken literally in the first place anymore. Shit works though, people just can't cope with the fact that there really ISN'T a perfect way to live, and they misunderstand the meanings of many lost principles because the context is always reworked for the current age. It's just fucked lol. February 04, 2021 at 11:35PM

Okay wow!! Seriously... i am currently in the exact same situation! Pretty much word for word this was my experience discovering my asexuality. I’m still contemplating how and when to tell my long term boyfriend, so I don’t have much advice, but I just wanted to thank you for posting this and helping me put my feelings into words. We’re in this together!! February 04, 2021 at 11:35PM

I'm 34 and just 'discovered' that I was asexual last month. So many things suddenly made sense, and I feel so relieved to now have the vocabulary/framework to start thinking of my life in my own way, instead of trying to force myself to fit into another mold that just didn't work. Thank you for your positivity and for sharing your experience, and welcome! February 04, 2021 at 11:35PM

DOOM!!!!! February 04, 2021 at 11:35PM

Don't ever go on that sub. February 04, 2021 at 11:35PM

I don't think you said or did anything wrong. There's no excuse for cheating, but that also doesn't invalidate her sexuality. I do think your sister is in the wrong here for not really listening you and then turning the argument into a "her vs me" thing, though. But I also understand that your sister is angry; I've had the same feelings towards people that have hurt my loved ones before. That doesn't excuse your sister for invalidating someone's sexuality, either. Societal pressure is a bitch. I don't know for sure if I'd still be a virgin or not without it, but I do understand the feeling of "I have to do this or Something's Wrong With Me™." Doesn't mean it's right to cheat, or to pressure someone else into having sex. I can also understand why your ex might have felt the need to try it in order to "fit in" or feel validated, but that doesn't mean I excuse her actions or think they're right. There

Oohh, neat! 😃 February 04, 2021 at 11:33PM

That's exactly what it is. It's a fear (or rather paranoia) of doing ANYTHING to excess or having any sort of pride in yourself above god. I personally think it's just another way to control people's sense of self, while also subtley instilling fear of punishment from an arbitrary being at any time (so that you don't learn to think for yourself or teach your kids too). Religion should have NO input when it comes to raising children OR teaching them about sexuality, it's just not a good source for ANYTHING concrete in life. February 04, 2021 at 11:33PM

Wonder if she has garlic bread... February 04, 2021 at 11:32PM