I've finished reading over the documents. There are a couple things that get my attention from a logical perspective. The document makes logical assumptions like how it assumes that high rates of unfounded reports equates to police mishandlings. It also claims that unfounded reports are the same as false reports. If this were so, that would mean that the woman in question would likely be criminally charged, yet they never mention this detail. Regardless of the interesting read, I will still hold my opinion that turning to vigilante justice is not the correct answer as it creates other victims and there is no way to know who is guilty and who is innocent on the side of the accused. Anyhow, I thank you for being one of the few to provide me with interesting reading material on the subject of discussion. August 07, 2021 at 01:00AM

I have literally never heard of this phenomenon. Is this a young person thing? When I dated, I only ever called them by their names, and vice versa. No one ever made a fuss. The one time I was called "babe," I had a visceral reaction, authentic cringe, and I said don't ever call me that again. I am not your babe. That's gross. I have a name, please use it. I also have never heard my friends gush over pet names, nor has a single married couple in my adult life gone around with pet names. Maybe in private they do that, whatever, but most definitely not all the time August 07, 2021 at 01:00AM

Hey, you’re still valid. Your desires to not have sex are yours to be respected. Like others have said, I think if you had a civil conversation about this with your partner and explain your wants, it will be for the best. That does come with the chance of the relationship ending, but the best types of relationships are those where both partner accept the other for who they are without wanting to change them. It will be an ultimate test of who this person is. I wish you all the best 💛 August 07, 2021 at 12:55AM

I do. Usually I use animated or drawn (as in, not live-action) porn, other times I'll use erotica or literature. Occasionally I'll use my imagination, but that takes up brainpower and is often distracting; visual/written media keeps me on track, if that makes sense. But it really depends on the mood I'm in and what I have access to when the horny strikes. How frequently I do it definitely depends on my stress levels and amount of free time, but generally it fluctuates from once every couple weeks to as often as a few times a week. I am the same way as you, where the stuff I think about/consume is hot in my head but not appealing whatsoever outside of it. If you're interested, there's a microlabel you might related to: aegosexual. There's even a subreddit for it! August 07, 2021 at 12:55AM

i literally felt rage reading this hhhh August 07, 2021 at 12:52AM

don't watch it lol August 07, 2021 at 12:48AM

It depends on the person, I suppose. I’m OK with having sex, so we do, and I’d be crushed if he wanted to sleep with someone else. Honestly, I think if he had a super-high sex drive, we wouldn’t have ended up married — he would’ve been frustrated before then. August 07, 2021 at 12:46AM

yes !! growing up with church purity culture I can definitely relate to this August 07, 2021 at 12:46AM

Thank you! August 07, 2021 at 12:45AM

I'm not ace, but someone should say something. Even in allo relationships, sex is not the most important thing. Communication is. I suggest you talk about it with them. If they want it, but you don't, you are not required to give it to them. You don't owe it to them. Only do what you are comfortable with. Be safe. August 07, 2021 at 12:45AM

If you're trying your best, they should try the same even if it might be strange for them at first You're definitely not crazy! August 07, 2021 at 12:43AM

The more potential partners bring up sex is starting to make me feel more sex-repulsed I think. I used to be fine with it. It didn't mean anything, but I still did it. Now, I feel like punching a dude if he even insinuates sexual contact 😩 August 07, 2021 at 12:40AM

I have no problem telling people, but I've also never really had it come up. The only person who I felt I had to tell was my current boyfriend. I also told my best friend but that was just because I wanted to. August 07, 2021 at 12:40AM

I love it too. Funny, a friend of my expressed jealousy when I told them I was ace, because they are thirsty as fuck all the time lol. August 07, 2021 at 12:38AM

I think I'll try that August 07, 2021 at 12:38AM

I definitely do try to call them pet names, normally honey, but I'm going to put more effort in the future. I'm just glad I'm not crazy. I guess I just have to figure out a way to tell them without sounding crazy August 07, 2021 at 12:37AM

Friend, having sex with partners didn't "make" you sex-repulsed "after a while," okay? You were sex-repulsed the whole time, most likely just didn't have the words. There's nothing wrong with being sex-repulsed, but you won't feel any relief from that pressure unless you communicate with your partner . Do they know you're ace? Do they know you're sex-repulsed? They should, you can't have a healthy relationship where your partner doesn't know those things. And scary as it might sound, if you two aren't physically compatible, it might be time to split up. You both deserve someone that meets your needs. August 07, 2021 at 12:34AM

Not at all! Everyone is entitled to their preferences. Maybe you could explain it like, “actually, I feel warmest and happiest like some people do with nicknames when I’m being called my actual name” August 07, 2021 at 12:34AM

I would mind very much if my partner sought sex elsewhere, I attribute that to trust issues and my thought on it is if sex is that important to THEM, that they would be willing and even okay with doing that, we’re probably not a good match. I would prefer to have a partner that is somewhere on the ace spectrum, but probably not any time soon. Thanks for asking :) August 07, 2021 at 12:33AM

No it doesn't make you cold hearted! I personally love pet names but It's not the use of them that show how much you love someone, we all have different love languages and express it differently. If you don't like it that's fine! I guess in this situation the best thing to do is to compromise. if you don't like pet names then your partner shouldn't use them. and if you do feel comfortable with calling them by pet names then you should try August 07, 2021 at 12:33AM

Nice!! 69 upvotes August 07, 2021 at 12:32AM

In my case I'm not even sure if my parents gave me the Talk. It's possible I may not have known what sex was until high school. Pretty sure they realized early on that I just didn't care. Never understood why other people had any problems with not having sex. Kinda unrelated but it took me a long tike to understand people cheating in relationships. Like, did you forget who you're married to or something? Still not certain I quite get it. August 07, 2021 at 12:31AM

I like Theo because I go by Theo a lot lmao though Toasty would be my second I think August 07, 2021 at 12:28AM