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Showing posts from April 26, 2020

So am I the problem?

I know that everyone has a preference but how should I look or act or for that matter even be as a person to find more like minded partner or candidates of the nature? I was raised to believe its your personality that matters but I usually get the "Oh I wish I could date a guy like you!" and Im a guy like me so.... Whats wrong with me? Submitted April 26, 2020 at 11:53PM I know that everyone has a preference but how should I look or act or for that matter even be as a person to find more like minded partner or candidates of the nature? I was raised to believe its your personality that matters but I usually get the "Oh I wish I could date a guy like you!" and Im a guy like me so.... Whats wrong with me?

I'm a girl and everytime I make the 1st step I get rejected!

Hi I'm new on reddit and I want to ask you for your opinion about girls making the first move. I don't like to sound like I want to get in a relationship at all costs but it's normal for a girl my age to start thinking about love and relationship experiences. I'm 23 and the last time I dated was in highschool 7 years ago, it was also my first time and it lasted 4 years ( I was a teenager so now I don't take that one seriously). I've been in college for four years but I never went out on a real date. I always have crushes but even when I try to befriend someone I like, they end up friendzoning me everytime and I'm not sure how I should behave as a girl. They say guys always make the 1st move but they also talk about "true love" , choosing each other, giving yourself a chance .. but how am I supposed to do that if all I should do is waiting for the right guy to try hard to get me! Some would say it's 2020 and there is no such thing like guys sho...

Hey, I'm at the age where quite a few of my peers have started dating but really I'm not to sure what age would be considered acceptable and I'm kind of awkward at times. So to simplify, what age is it acceptable to start dating at?

I'm male, 14 going on 15 and straight for the most part. Not sure if that info is relevant but i have to add a body to this to comply with the rules. Submitted April 26, 2020 at 11:56PM I'm male, 14 going on 15 and straight for the most part. Not sure if that info is relevant but i have to add a body to this to comply with the rules.

I m new here.

Hope everyone is doing well and trying to keep the depression at bay. It's hard, especially now, but all we can do is keep trying... Submitted April 27, 2020 at 12:02AM Hope everyone is doing well and trying to keep the depression at bay. It's hard, especially now, but all we can do is keep trying...

Why is it so incredibly difficult for me to message the guy I like when I know that he likes me too?

I have feelings for a guy that I haven’t seen in almost a year and we only spent a few days together after we met. We’ll likely be living in the same city or at least seeing each other again later this year and I’m super stoked. We probably message each other once every two weeks or so, but I’d love to hear from him every day. We’re both very shy, but I’ve literally never had this much difficulty with communication before. It sucks because I’d love to be in a relationship with him and I see that as being a real possibility, but we just can’t seem to message each other like I would expect two people with feelings for each other to be able to. I’m so nervous I’m going to bother him and I really hate that feeling. We’re both in our 20s, so I feel like we should be past this—or maybe it’s just me that desperately wants to hear from him. Submitted April 27, 2020 at 12:03AM I have feelings for a guy that I haven’t seen in almost a year and we only spent a few days together after we ...

Confused about this text... [M20, F20]

So I received a text a couple days ago from this girl F20 I met on Tinder. We’ve been talking for about a month and a half, but because of coronavirus, we’ve only met in person once. We’ve had a number of FaceTime calls and regular calls and we text daily. I asked her a few days ago where she thought we were going relationship wise, despite coronavirus keeping us apart (we have a date planned for next week). She said that she likes me and listed many qualities about me that she appreciates, but said that we should hold off on anything official until there are solid plans for what is going to happen for the fall semester (we’re still both in college). That sounds reasonable to me. I pushed her a little more and told her that I wasn’t interested in others and I was hoping we can see each other and get to know each other basically exclusively. Then she said “I definitely want to try to do this and make something happen after quarantine is over. But even if nothing romantic happens, I wo...

Liking a girl in a tightly knit online friends group

So i have this friends group about 10 people, we hang out, we play games, we all know someone irl but nobody knows everyone irl. Theres a girl in our group that recently (5 weeks-ish) i have been hanging out with 1 on 1 a lot (sometimes 6-8 hours in a day usually more like 3 though) in voice calls playing games watching youtube netflix etc. I honestly can not tell if she has put any thought into me and being more than friends and i dont want to tell her i've put a lot of thought into that because of how it might effect the group dynamic if it goes south. I'd like to stay close to her because we really get on great and she is very funny but idk what i'd do if she was to ghost me or something, it would really tear a hole in my friend group. So any ideas on howI should proceed given that I want things to move forward? Note: initially I thought I was just getting lonely because I live alone during corona virus but I now find myself think about her very often and looking fo...

Being blocked after things going well

I'd been talking to this girl [21] for 3 weeks for tinder, we had a rough patch where I found out that her ex was my sisters ex but that's where she told me she didnt want things to end and really liked me. Fast forward to two days ago when she starts becoming distant for no apparent reason, the day before was fine with messages being sent forward and back instantly the only thing I can think of is I told her I like her back and that shes given me feelings. I told her if she didn't want to speak to me anymore that's fine and I wouldn't be angry. She left that unread for quite some time before coming back with her snapchat was playing up followed later with her telling me she was having mental troubles. The last messages where me supporting her, her saying thanks, sending a picture then me telling her she looked cute. And that was it an hour later she blocked me on snapchat, tinder, facebook and even found my Instagram. I really don't know what I've done. I...

Am I an asshole for not liking him?

I'm dating a guy who is very nice, but the more we hang out, the more I start to realize I'm not into him. So obviously it's not a match here, but I feel the reasons why I dont like him are bad. Here are the reasons clear cut. Hes never been in a relationship and therefore always needs me to tell him what to do or how something works. (I just got out of a relationship with person that hadn't been in a relationship before and didnt know what he wanted. It created confusion as hed change his mind about big stuff once he realized what he liked or didnt like) Hes also inexperienced in life in general, doesn't know where to go or what to. I feel like I have to hold his hand through everything. Where to go when going to a new place, deciding what to eat. Making all the decisions for every little thing is draining and so Is holding someone's hand. Hes a pothead. I dont dislike pot, it's just not for me, and I generally dont care if someone smokes but everyday i...

Asked her if she was seeing anyone, left on read :/

I need some advice on how to proceed in this situation. This girl and I have been friends for about 5 years. I was talking to her today on Snapchat, we had a good long conversation this morning and I finally get the nerve to ask her if she's seeing anyone. She just leaves me on opened. I'm not sure what to do here. Any advice? Submitted April 27, 2020 at 12:17AM I need some advice on how to proceed in this situation. This girl and I have been friends for about 5 years. I was talking to her today on Snapchat, we had a good long conversation this morning and I finally get the nerve to ask her if she's seeing anyone. She just leaves me on opened. I'm not sure what to do here. Any advice?

Is texting too much annoying?

Long story short, I've (m29) gotten to know a girl (f25) on bumble which has now moved to cell texting. The thing is we have great conversations sometimes lasting all day long. My problem is that if I ask about things she'll engage in a conversation happily but hardly ever starts a conversation. I'm getting to some points where I dont know what else to talk about and then there will be no texts sent at all by either of us. I want to talk but I'm afraid if I text too much, she'll be annoyed and not want to pursue a relationship but I dont want to feel like I'm ghosting her. She agreed to go out after the virus is gone so I dont want to screw things up. Is this a reasonable fear or issue or am I just overthinking things? Submitted April 27, 2020 at 12:17AM Long story short, I've (m29) gotten to know a girl (f25) on bumble which has now moved to cell texting. The thing is we have great conversations sometimes lasting all day long. My problem is that if I...

Boyfriend [20M] of four years tells me [21F] to workout to make my butt bigger.

Throwaway because my boyfriend uses reddit and knows my account. I want to preface this by saying that I love my boyfriend very much and I know he loves me but I can’t help but feeling insecure about this. My boyfriend is very much into thick girls with nice juicy booties. He makes this very obvious. I myself am pretty curvy in the hips, but my butt lacks volume. I never used to care about my lack of behind until I started dating him 4 years ago. Now he doesn’t outwardly say my butt is unattractive, but he’ll make comments. For instance, just yesterday we saw a girl working out outside (doing squats and such), then he said “why don’t you do booty exercises to grow your butt?” I just kinda half laughed and changed the subject. This is not an isolated experience. One time we played a drinking game just the two of us and one of the questions was “if there was one thing you could change about me what would it be?” (Now I understand this is a very leading question that is most certainly...

GUY GHOSTED ME WHO OWES ME 84 DOLLARS A MONTH IN LIFE INSURANCE (HILARIOUS)

Hello everyone, I (22F) have been talking to this guy (22M) and we will call him Jake. Jake had tried to talk to me for an entire year and I finally gave him a chance. Went pretty well, I met his family and all was good. Our last hang out, who knew what turned him off and he didn't want to talk anymore but he basically dipped. The point of this story is that this kid sells insurance and to get some type of bonus he needed me to get a life insurance plan. He is paying for this on his own he just needed my info basically. He has payed me 84 a month paying for it and there are MANY months left before he is cancelling it. He venmos me the money each month and then the money automatically comes out of my account. I could probably cancel this on my own. I am sick of trash ass people like him though and I have been trying to talk to him about ending things in a nice calm way like adults for a week. Wont give me the time of day for god knows why, nothing happened at all. I want to say ...

My guy friend (21m) randomly sent me (20f) something implying how horny he was.

We haven't really been friends for that long and I know he thinks I'm cute because he's always telling me that, but I think I've been pretty clear about how he's my friend. That being said, I'm not really sure how exactly to feel about him because he is really a nice guy that has qualities that I'd look for in a boyfriend, but things like these kind of throw me off guard sometimes. Am I just too uptight about all of these random sex comments he throws at me and is this just normal between platonic female/male friends, or is he implying something else that I'm too dumb to catch? tl;dr Why is he saying that he's horny all of a sudden and what does he even expect out of me? Submitted April 26, 2020 at 11:33PM We haven't really been friends for that long and I know he thinks I'm cute because he's always telling me that, but I think I've been pretty clear about how he's my friend. That being said, I'm not really sure how ex...

I don’t know how to set boundaries with my mom.

My mom (38F) and I (21F) never had a great relationship when I was growing up. She was physically and mentally abusive until I turned 17 and a friend of mine told her parents that I was being abused after I stayed at their home to get away from my mom after a particularly bad fight. After this incident, she started going to therapy and things were good for about a year. She stopped the medication, but wasn’t who she used to be. We got along great and we were best friends. She still has some toxic characteristics but I’ve tried my best to be civil with her and just let her have her tantrums. I don’t know if this has anything to do with my relationship with her as a child and the threats she used to make, but I truly am heartbroken over the thought of not being able to talk to her about everything or not be able to be there for her. I tell her everything. EVERYTHING. She does the same. My husband (22M) rent the basement apartment in my parents house while we save to buy a house. Our chi...

Do you have any non-sexual code words in your relationship?

Curious what all the code words people have in their relationships — not sexually related. Me (F26) and my boyfriend (M28) have a code word now for when either of us feels that we need space / day to themselves for any reasons- could be that we’re triggered/upset about something and we just need the day to reset and gather thoughts before talking about it with each other. Or could just be that we want to chill by ourselves for the day with no disturbance. We’ve been together for 5months, started it when I encountered a day when I was stuck in my emotions and I told him I wanted time for myself and he spiraled thinking the worst. After we discussed and I told him how I was feeling we decided to come up with a code word or when we needed space IF that space we wanted had nothing to do with wanting to breakup or something detrimental to the relationship. Holistically we both thought this was a great idea. TLDR; Do you have any non-sexual code words in your relationship? If so, what’s ...

My boyfriend[m/30] won't talk to me [f/28] ever since his friend died.

Trigger Warning: suicide We've been living together for two months, though I still have my old apartment, and together for 8 months. Our relationship has been a bit rough recently. I've been a bit depressed due to grad school and having trouble keeping up with my thesis (due this week). A family member of mine was shot and killed a couple weeks ago. I didn't know her well, saw her a couple times per year, but it was very violent, unexpected, and in a very safe area. Just really unexpected. My boyfriend has a much higher sex drive, and recently it's been more and more of an issue. Particularly the last couple weeks I haven't wanted sex at all, and the last couple times we did have sex it was very painful even after foreplay. He woke me up in the middle of the night a few days ago asking if I was sore (aka do you want to have sex). So, all of that has been going on before his friend's death. Yesterday a close friend of his committed suicide, with no warning si...

my [19F] girlfriend wanted to break up temporarily and take some time away from me [21M]

So yesterday after a small absence from my gf i messaged her about work. She replied to me and told me that she wanted to talk to me about something. She told me that she we should break up and take some time because she doesn't feel comfortable being in a relationship at the time because shes depressed or something and she thinks its unfair that im waiting for my girlfriend to show back up again. She wanted to call it off and maybe try again in a month or two and shes sorry. This wasn't the worst thing just a little backstory for the main point. In January she tried to do the same thing, however, we talked it out but this time we didn't. She said back then she didn't wanna leave because if she cut off all communication she would just forget about me. That is what im worried about now. Im worried that she wanted a break so she could go and sleep with other guys since we are unable to rn. Im worried that she would just forget me so many things im worried about and she ...

The guy I’ve been talking to has coronavirus and it’s a huge turn off for me. Should I keep talking to him?

So I matched with this guy on a dating app and found out he worked in the medical field. We were chatting for a few days and everything was going great, but then he got coronavirus. He told me he was the first one in his hospital to get it, so he had to be out of the work for a couple of weeks. He also told me he had asthma, so I was really worried about him, his health and his safety. Well we’ve been FaceTiming and he seems like he’s okay, but sometimes he’ll send me pictures of him outside or with his roommate and he’s not wearing a mask. You would think someone that’s in the medical field would know the necessary precautions to avoid spreading the virus, but he said that his symptoms aren’t that bad and he hasn’t been coughing so he doesn’t need to wear a mask. He even went to the beach the other day.. That’s just turned me off.. and then it made me think. He was probably the first one to get the virus in his hospital because he was being careless and wasn’t following all of the...

Trying to work out problems with my (27F) aunt (46/F) and she is ignoring me. What do I do?

My aunt, Maria (46F) and I (27F) have been close my whole life. We got particularly close about 5-6 years ago when she was going through trouble with her marriage that ultimately ended in divorce. I even moved in with her for a few months to help her acclimate and help take care of her daughter, Kate (who is now 17F). She and I were best friends and I saw her as a maternal figure as well (my mom and I do not get along - currently no contact). My aunt had a few casual relationships after her divorce but started dating her long-term boyfriend, Tom (35?M) about 4 years ago. She has gone through a lot with him - it was on-again-off-again for about a year, he cheated on her, he wouldn’t take photos with her, was jealous of her ex, and he got angry with her a lot for really petty stuff - I tried my best to provide support to her through all that. After about a year of her being in a consistent relationship with Tom (this would have been around 2017), my relationship with her started deteri...

My Boyfriend (20M) broke up with me (20F) seemingly out of nowhere

I have been dating this guy for a couple of months, and everything seemed to be going great. I went to stay at his house the other day and all day he acted normal, nothing seemed off about him at all, he was even talking about stuff we should do over the summer. We went to bed and the next day we planned on getting some food and going hiking since the weather was nice. We woke up in the morning and everything was completely normal, we cuddled for a while and then took a shower and got ready together. Right before we were about to leave he said, "I want to break up," out of nowhere. I thought he was joking at first, but he wasn't. He said, "this is really hard for me to do because I really like you, but I don't see a future with this relationship." I packed all my stuff, he walked me to my car, and we stood there for 15 minutes crying on each other. When I asked him how long he has been feeling this way, he said only a couple of days. He can be really impuls...

(REPOST) I need advice on saving my relationship with my Best friend

Hey, I posted this last night but it got taken down so this is a repost: So my (f17) Best friend (f16) has a boyfriend (19) who I didn't like for a while. Now I'm completely admitting what a total **** I was. I'd talk bad about him to others, and I wouldnt talk to my BF about it. I didnt say anything bad about her, but I did a lot about him. That was a couple months ago, recently my bf found out a heap of the stuff i said and for obvious reasons she got very angry at me. She has every right to be mad, and I just feel like a bad person. I have Borderline personality disorder, so when things like this happen, it's like the end of the world. I have been trying to make it up to her for a couple days now, I've written her lots of paragraphs about how sorry I am, I've sent her poems about how much I appreciate her, and how sorry I am, I made her a playlist full of songs of apologies, etc. Now we've been talking again, and she said shes almost forgiven me, but th...

Boyfriend (26m) swears he tells me (22f) things but he doesn't, and it's causing problems because he thinks I'm ignoring him.

This has become a regular problem in our relationship and I know I'm not going crazy. I have always been one to listen and I enjoy conversation. Recently, he will say something or be talking and relate to something else, and I'll be like "what are you talking about" and he gets mad saying he already told me. One example is that he had a patient that he brought back that almost died. That's not a super normal occurrence and that is something I think I'd remember if he told me. And he swears up and down he told me but I honestly, don't think he did. This happens a lot. He gets so angry that if I question any part of what he's saying, he will stop and refuse to tell me the rest of what he was saying, which makes me upset because I like to hear about work or his day, especially since I am stuck at home. I think it's unfair for him to act this way even if I did forget. I don't know if he's just super stressed as he's in the medical fiel...