My [27F] boyfriend [31M] and I have been together 3 months. All has been going great, I am infatuated with this man. I am, however, starting to struggle with his past. He has had 2 past serious relationships. With his first ex, they had a house together, and with his second (most recent), they lived together and were engaged. They ended up ending things because of something my boyfriend did — which I won’t get into, but he has been very upfront and open with me about his actions, so that isn’t my concern here. I’m starting to struggle with the idea that he was engaged to his most recent ex. The thought that he knew he wanted to spend his life with her and that the reason it ended was because he screwed up — if he hadn’t, he’d be happily with her still, wouldn’t he? I’m terrified of being a back up, or that he still loves her and that I won’t compare to what they had. I’ve only had one relationship prior to him, so the thought of being engaged to someone — even living with my partner

This is based on post I’ve seen here where women are wondering how to get men who have actual interest in them, and most of the responses are just centered around lowering your standards for looks and other such things. Well! I’ve tried dating men who I wasn’t physically attracted to and it was very fun. A lot of them treat you the same as the attractive men do. There’s no difference in treatment whatsoever. Occasionally these men are more ready and able to commit but there are also instances where they play the same games as the attractive men. It’s also not fair to them. Like I dated one guy that I couldn’t even stand to kiss. It didn’t help my friends and family would comment negatively on my dating partner’s appearance. No one should be in a partnership with someone they aren’t attracted to. I agree we should be realistic with our standards but I would at least like to be with someone I’m physically attracted to! I don’t think I’m aiming too high either. I’m not asking for a 6’5

Well, you are not obliged to. It's up to you if you want to come out or not. December 24, 2022 at 12:33AM

Hello. I have a crush on this girl. She was looking to hook up with me a long time ago but I wanted to date her, to which she declined saying she had just gotten out of a relationship and wanted to be single. Specifying she didn't wanna date anybody in general, she hasn’t dated anybody since so I don’t believe she was lying to make me feel better. We're still friends and she acts in a pretty flirtatious way to me occasionally so I don't believe it's something completely out of the question when she's ready. Recently she started chatting with an old friend. In general she gives me a lot of attention but on one platform (Bereal) she is constantly commenting on this guys posts and reacting to them more than mine and it makes me extremely jealous and paranoid. It's not overtly flirtatious but it's friendly and playful and seriously gets to me. I don't wanna be like this, we're not dating or anything and she can talk to anyone she wants but despite her

Yes, I'm a nonbinary guy as well as aroace, I firmly feel like I'm part of the GRSM/LGBT community December 23, 2022 at 11:37PM

We need more POC ace rep. I love to see it December 23, 2022 at 11:35PM