On Desktop, go to the sidebar, click the "Edit" button next to your username. November 27, 2020 at 11:56PM

I came out to only one friend, she said she loves me no matter what. But when I was in a process of self discovery I told my brother and told him what it mean and he told me that I’m being stupid 😑 November 27, 2020 at 11:56PM

Same November 27, 2020 at 11:55PM

me asexual and enby Well yes, but no. November 27, 2020 at 11:54PM

Good god why has this sub never crossed me before November 27, 2020 at 11:53PM

I get very shy around my crushs. I don’t think of fucking them but I do imagine what it would be like if we were together. When I talk to my crush I get nervous because I’m afraid to say something stupid. 🤷🏻‍♀️ November 27, 2020 at 11:53PM

I also like them UwU November 27, 2020 at 11:53PM

Well parents will always love their child so coming out will legitimise the entire spectrum with you as the catalyst for progress. November 27, 2020 at 11:51PM

I finally worked it out at 39 (46 now). I'm sure there are lots of older people out there who just think they're broken/have something wrong with them, like I did. That's one reason we need awareness. Awareness is not just to help the young people! I, for one, am glad more young people are aware of asexuality. I don't want them spending their lives thinking they're broken. We already have enough challenges to deal with. November 27, 2020 at 11:48PM

I was, and err, still am over 40, when I realised that I was Asexual and not just too lazy to put any effort into dating, or finding a husband, as I assumed I was straight. Found out through the good folk of Reddit that asexuality was a thing and I feel great about discovering that I don't actually need to be sexually attracted to anyone. People literally only date because they want to, and often compelled to do so to mingle body fluids. I don't have to, fancy that. November 27, 2020 at 11:46PM

I totally understand feeling conflicted and I can relate. One thing that helped me was just trying on some different identities and seeing how I felt. Walk around for a week thinking, “I think I’m asexual,” or whatever else fits. Does that label feel comfortable? Helpful? Inaccurate? You don’t have to rush. You have the rest of your life to figure it out. Another thing that can help: remembering that asexuality and aromanticism can be a spectrum. Lots of people are gray ace or demi. There is freedom to just say, “I’m somewhere on the asexuality spectrum,” and then if down the line you change your mind, that’s fine. If you know you aren’t heterosexual, cis, allo, etc, you’re allowed to label yourself within queerness. You get to define yourself. November 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

Ace here: I found out about my asexuality at 21 and until then, I thought the majority of people are like me and that sex is simply like going in a loud, overcrowded club: Noone actually likes it that much, but we all just do it to go with the norm. Yeahh turns out that's not true... turns out I did not see the perspective of my allo friends one bit. So being the sex positive ace that I am, I asked them what it was like and a whole new perspective opened up for me. Apparently EVERYONE in my high school was sexually active outside of stable relationships. And apparently, most were pretty secretive about it, because they did not know what to make of it. And apparently, they struggled with the opposite sex and how to deal with these feelings of attraction. Turns out allos have a whole lot of things to deal with in their own respect. Problems that I didn't even consider before. Frankly, I wouldn't want to switch. Long story short: pets OP's shoulder I understand your pe...

I have the opposite problem, it's hard for me to grasp the idea that allos can see a stranger and feel desire to have sex with them. Some times I really doubt allos exists at all and they just like dirty jokes so they can feel more "mature" November 27, 2020 at 11:43PM

This is such bad wording that it accidentally implies incest. November 27, 2020 at 11:43PM

I think so too, but I don't want to invalidate the subtle communications OP may have picked up that are not easily translated to text. In the end, OP is the authority here without more information from them. November 27, 2020 at 11:42PM

I think romantic desire in friendship would just be a romantic friendship, which is totally a thing that needs a rennaisaance. And it seems like whoever the person is in the OP doesn't understand the difference between platonic love, romantic love and sexual desire. November 27, 2020 at 11:42PM

Especially as I’m pan/bi romantic as well...... better get started on that essay.... (I think it’s just me because I can’t seem to talk long sentences anyway or explain myself I stumble over my words and usually give up on explaining long or hard conversations 🤦‍♀️) November 27, 2020 at 11:41PM

It boggles my mind too. When I told my parents they were basically like okay, what pertinence does this have to me? I was oh okay, we cool, I guess. Well, I guess apathy isn’t that great either. But my mom is excited with me when I think I found another asexual person to date. November 27, 2020 at 11:41PM

I see where you are coming I think it is religion and media that make people question others and their own Asexuality. It makes us struggle to imagine others views and even our own, like when I hear young teens post that they are virgin and sex repulsed, I get that thought most allos tells you "how do you know if you never tried it?" Even though I know thats not the case but media always forces that don't knock it if you haven't tried it motto. Catholic beliefs always have that negative/sin outlook that you should only have sex once married, yet it can sometimes get cultish in forcing marriage on individuals which would give people reason for not wanting or enjoying sex, but then from looking on AVEN not all of us are religious or the same so not all would have that view drummed into us. I was raised Catholic but went to Satanism because I thought fuck it, can't avoid sins rather than giving me fear like others. I eventually got into norse paganism and it can fe...

I’m not sure about the alloros, but I’ve had a few experiences like yours, which I also assume is because I’m alterous too. They tell me they were interested in me, and I put them on a slightly higher than friend list. Then it all falls apart because I’m not interested in anything further than basically friends, but I didn’t have that knowledge of myself at the time. There’s so many different attractions, it can be very confusing to identify and understand them. I feel with you. November 27, 2020 at 11:40PM

Funny this is, I’m an ace nby. BTW that sucks, hope ur mom gets over her acephobia November 27, 2020 at 11:36PM

My heart goes out to you ! 💜🖤🤍 I tried to come out to my mum but she wouldn’t accept that I was and said the routinely “you have crushes, 🙄 you’ll change your mind, stop going on google!!” 🙄 she basically thinks ace and aro are the same thing and everything so I had to go back in the closet.... I might get her a book on asexuality when I’m older so she can learn about it (I say when I’m older aka when I’m braver and maybe when I don’t live in the same house as her! 😅) The thing is if you try and come out like I did it’s just so f**king hard to explain rather then... I’m gay! Like especially as I have crushes and I’m panromantic as well 🤦‍♀️ I feel like I’ll have to write an essay and give it to everyone instead of saying it so I can actually say everything right and explain it right 🤦‍♀️ November 27, 2020 at 11:35PM

Teenage girls especially it seems. Just let them enjoy things! November 27, 2020 at 11:34PM