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Showing posts from November, 2020

/u/Ivy_Clock_Rose on Aegosexuality Appreciation Post

This! Honestly. The idea is wonderful, especially sense I like researching things like BDSM(mainly for the culture and order behind it) and sometimes the ideas of trying things that look nice come in, but then I'm reminded of all the work and effort I would have to put in, and that just makes me cringe. I'm barely am adult. I don't need to be doing extra work for something that might be an hour. Two max. December 01, 2020 at 12:00AM

/u/Jackvader2020 on I just texted my sister that I'm not straight, neither gay, nor bi or pan... And waited for her reply

Idk, i do love mayonnaise... In seriousness, I've noticed this as well. You say that you don't feel sexual attraction and they somehow think "but you fuck animals right?". NO! Why does your brain go there?! People are weird. December 01, 2020 at 12:00AM

/u/Ok-Bodybuilder9981 on Seing girls objectify themselves on my instagram descovery page makes me sad.

Yeah, not gonna throw my opinion out there either but there is a setting on Instagram where if you click on the video you can click “show me less posts like this” November 30, 2020 at 11:57PM

/u/KingKronx on i thought this would fit well here

Yup mom, should've given me a brother November 30, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/EmilaiG on Seing girls objectify themselves on my instagram descovery page makes me sad.

That's not great, in very new on Instagram so I'm unsure 100%, I just had a lot of bird posts since that's what I clicked like on November 30, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/HappyAndProud on Seing girls objectify themselves on my instagram descovery page makes me sad.

In theory. I've been on the Gram for years, had to have liked hundreds of posts, and my recommendations still suck. November 30, 2020 at 11:39PM

/u/NorskPrince on Aegosexuality Appreciation Post

Isn't it fun when you can find out your identity so quickly 😂 if only gender had been that easy hotdamn November 30, 2020 at 11:39PM

/u/WatcherOfStarryAbyss on Aegosexuality Appreciation Post

This is pretty close to the definition I'm familiar with, which is basically: "The abstract idea of sex, and maybe even other people having sex, is an appealing idea. The idea of experiencing sex personally is gross/slightly repulsive/undesirable/off-putting." I'm like that 90% of the time. Sex can be a beautiful thing. It can be sensual, arousing, and look like it would be extremely pleasant. Me personally having sex sounds tedious and gross. Making it personal reminds me of the reality of the situation. There would be odd smells. And acne. And sweaty hugs. There would be unusual sounds. My bed would get messy and I'd have to change the sheets. (Obviously, I'm not doing it on dirty sheets, so they'd get like 1/2 a night's use before getting washed again.) My housemates would probably hear us. There's bad breath and BO. Skin is often greasier than you might think it is. Also, sex would probably be a lot of work. There would probably be panti

/u/Gvccifer on This gave me major ace vibes

The first season was pretty good (for a cheesy teen drama) and it all went downhill in season two. November 30, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/AlphaNova_x on almost every freaking time.

It really does just get repetitive sometimes. But other people can enjoy that music. I’m just gonna steer clear from that stuff because songs about having sex and doing this and that overall make me somewhat uncomfortable. I have to kinda not listen to the lyrics to actually enjoy it. November 30, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/dcunhahaha21 on This gave me major ace vibes

Me when I bring my date to my place and she assumes we might hit it but I just wanna show her my model car collection ;_; November 30, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/AlphaNova_x on almost every freaking time.

In my opinion, songs about sex just seem so like boring? I’m not saying artists shouldn’t make that type of music, they’re allowed to make whatever they want. Songs about sex just don’t sit right with me personally and that’s probably because I’m a somewhat sex repulsed asexual. But you know, let any artist write about anything because to them I’m just one out of their millions of listeners lol November 30, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/peanuttbutterpotato on Aegosexuality Appreciation Post

Yooo, I feel this. When I joined the sub a few months ago I went to the pinned post and sorted the comments by new (I don't remember why) and someone asked if they were ace if they could like the idea of sex if it wasn't them (more eloquent than that but you get the idea). I really resonated with that and someone replied that they might be aegosexual so I looked it up and bam, that's how I figured everything out in under fifteen minutes. November 30, 2020 at 11:25PM

/u/somerandomguy8421 on Is 13 too young to be ace?

No November 30, 2020 at 11:24PM

/u/AhmedEx1 on Thought it belonged here

You didnt specify what type of naked scenes.. November 30, 2020 at 11:19PM

/u/justanacegirl on Just wanted to know

I see! If it makes no difference then it should be demi and pan. I am still questioning so this reply helped me a lot. I'll think about it better. Thank you! (Also I don't know the right term). November 30, 2020 at 11:17PM

/u/Doc_Vogel on This gave me major ace vibes

Riverdale can kiss my ass I watched a few episodes once and it just felt so... standard November 30, 2020 at 11:16PM

/u/Acceptable-Island-65 on I don't know what to think

Here's the thing though, he's never indicated he's dissatisfied with our sex life. When I brought up sleeping with other people, he immediately dismissed it. That's why I feel like this is coming out of the blue. I know I need to talk to him, I'm just trying to process my emotions first. Thanks for your insight. November 30, 2020 at 11:12PM

/u/NorskPrince on Aegosexuality Appreciation Post

I came across the r/asexuality <20 minutes ago looking for literally this. The idea of sex as an abstract concept that I'm not a part of is fine or even enjoyable. But noooooo thankyouuuu. I'm glad that it only took me a few posts to find a reference to this identity. I'm proud to be here. ❤ November 30, 2020 at 11:09PM

/u/DissociativeSilence on What's your romantic orientation and do you relate to these statements?

So far I relate to your answers the most. Thank you! November 30, 2020 at 11:09PM

/u/SoukEye13 on Coming out advice

No, that logic makes perfect sense! Thank you so much! November 30, 2020 at 11:08PM

/u/ImHops on Most people are okay with demi/gray aces wearing a black ring, but I’m on the fence if I should get one.

I think that if you want to ring that you should get one. I’ve struggled a lot with the “what if I’m not actually ace” type statements and what I had to come to terms with is that that’s okay. The ring represents what you feel now and if you think you’re aspec then you are allowed to label and take part in things as that. And even if your feelings change that doesn’t invalidate how you feel at this point. So get the ring if it makes you feel good<3 November 30, 2020 at 11:08PM

/u/TheWarLoad on Seing girls objectify themselves on my instagram descovery page makes me sad.

I just feel bad for these people, theyre at the mercy of this male dominated society of which i dont fit in to. November 30, 2020 at 11:07PM

Should I ask her to text me?

So Tinder's been rough on me. Like 15 matches in half a year of which only 3 replied to my messages. With 2 of these I didn't really hit it off, but 1 was really cool and I clicked with her. At some point she started replying much more slowly, until eventually she didnt reply for a week, after which she said that she'd met a guy with whom she wanted to see where it would go. She was very respectful about it, said I was a great guy and wished me well and I wished her the same. I realise I'm sounding pathetic, but I think it's on the one hand my lack of success with Tinder and on the other hand the idea that I have nothing to lose with her, but I've found it hard to completely forget about her. (Not like I constantly think about her, but more that there's a small voice in the back of my head whispering 'what if?' sometimes) Which brings me here. I'm aware the best thing would be to unmatch and forget about her, but I gotta get my hope in life f

Want to get her out of my mind. How?

I just want to forget about her at This point. Usually i move on and meet other girls and get into a new thing but This one girl my mind just doesn’t want to forget and it’s driving me insaaane Submitted November 29, 2020 at 11:56PM I just want to forget about her at This point. Usually i move on and meet other girls and get into a new thing but This one girl my mind just doesn’t want to forget and it’s driving me insaaane

Why do people ask for Snapchat?

I don’t understand why on OLD people usually say something like “I’m not on here much do you have snap” or to message them on IG. I’m not comfortable with strangers on the internet knowing my IG and I don’t have snapchat. I’m also not about to make one. Then they unmatch. What’s the deal here? Submitted November 29, 2020 at 11:59PM I don’t understand why on OLD people usually say something like “I’m not on here much do you have snap” or to message them on IG.I’m not comfortable with strangers on the internet knowing my IG and I don’t have snapchat. I’m also not about to make one. Then they unmatch. What’s the deal here?

FWB

So a friend of mine M(23) is talking to a F(21) and is not looking for anything serious atm however they have sent explict messages but he wants to clarify that he wants a FWB.how does he go about saying that without losing her🤔 should he wait till after he sleeps with her or is there another way to go about this Submitted November 30, 2020 at 12:02AM So a friend of mine M(23) is talking to a F(21) and is not looking for anything serious atm however they have sent explict messages but he wants to clarify that he wants a FWB.how does he go about saying that without losing her🤔 should he wait till after he sleeps with her or is there another way to go about this

28M hinge profile review

hey everyone, I would appreciate a review of my profile and see what people think. thanks! https://imgur.com/a/secHrAa Submitted November 30, 2020 at 12:04AM hey everyone, I would appreciate a review of my profile and see what people think. thanks!https://ift.tt/2JaYc8c

So I asked my crush out and she said yes. What now? [both 13]

So I asked out my crush over text because I was self isolating, I’m gonna see her in school in 2 days but should I ask her to go on a date or is it too early Timeline for clarity Yesterday (Saturday) - asked out (she said yes) Today (Sunday) - isolating still Tomorrow (Monday) - end of isolation Tuesday - see her at school First girlfriend so I have no idea what to do any help would be appreciated. Submitted November 30, 2020 at 12:09AM So I asked out my crush over text because I was self isolating, I’m gonna see her in school in 2 days but should I ask her to go on a date or is it too earlyTimeline for clarityYesterday (Saturday) - asked out (she said yes)Today (Sunday) - isolating stillTomorrow (Monday) - end of isolationTuesday - see her at schoolFirst girlfriend so I have no idea what to do any help would be appreciated.

How do I get over my crush?

I (22/m) have a major crush on a beautiful woman (31/f) who doesn’t seem particularly interested in me. What can I do to get over her? Submitted November 30, 2020 at 12:10AM I (22/m) have a major crush on a beautiful woman (31/f) who doesn’t seem particularly interested in me. What can I do to get over her?

(24M)I feel like I cant operate at 100% or else (25F)she will lose interest or think I'm desperate or clingy

There's this woman who is interested in me, and we have been seeing each other for about 2 months. I haven't asked her to be my girlfriend as yet, because the last time I asked someone to be my girlfriend a month after meeting her, she broke things off with me after a week. I think my problem started with that first girl so allow me to start there, lets call her Girl A. I had known Girl A for a month and we connected really well with each other, she was a musician as I am really interested in people with creative pursuits, me being a Spray Paint artist myself. Anyway, during the week of us dating, I did my best to show her how important she was to me, I told her how beautiful she was, I got her flowers, listened to her when she needed a shoulder to cry on, I joked with her a lot, during that entire week I felt absolutely amazing with her. Then came the end of the week, where she told me she couldn't do this and broke up with me, telling me I was desperate and clingy (Whic

I can never tell if men are flirting or not?

I (23F) have a really difficult time knowing whether or not someone is flirting with me. I’m awful with social cues, even pre-covid. I have missed so many opportunities because I never flirt back. It’s gotten to the point where my friends will answer for me if we’re in groups (pre covid, at clubs, our in public, etc.). So what are things you look for to tell if someone is flirting with you? Submitted November 30, 2020 at 12:13AM I (23F) have a really difficult time knowing whether or not someone is flirting with me. I’m awful with social cues, even pre-covid. I have missed so many opportunities because I never flirt back. It’s gotten to the point where my friends will answer for me if we’re in groups (pre covid, at clubs, our in public, etc.). So what are things you look for to tell if someone is flirting with you?

Do you give out your IG on apps?

How many of you do give out your IG on the app? Why or why not? Submitted November 30, 2020 at 12:14AM How many of you do give out your IG on the app? Why or why not?

Dating when you don’t drink?

I’ve slowly given up drinking because I noticed it’s bad for my mental health. And I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am on meds that have bad interactions with alcohol. Thus, I don’t drink at all anymore. In the past, all my first dates have started with drinks. But now I’m not sure how to handle this suggestion. I can still agree to drinks and then just order something non-alcoholic when I get there (I still like going to bars) but I don’t want to seem like I tricked the guy or anything ya know? Not sure if I should mention it ahead of time. I just know that drinking is a big part of most peoples social lives and I don’t want to seem like a wet blanket or someone they can’t have fun with. I know there are alternatives like coffee, walks, etc but drinks just seems to be the go-to. Submitted November 30, 2020 at 12:17AM I’ve slowly given up drinking because I noticed it’s bad for my mental health. And I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am on med

/u/Jofita on This happens like once a week

If you are Allosexual it means you feel sexual attraction. So everyone except for asexuals November 29, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/livipup on Thought it belonged here

Who asks for anime with lots of nudity? November 29, 2020 at 11:52PM

/u/Slothbo1 on Is 13 too young to be ace?

Same here. My anxiety always tells me I’m lying but I think one ace November 29, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/Slothbo1 on This happens like once a week

What does allo mean I know it’s a sexuality but what is it? November 29, 2020 at 11:48PM

/u/atomant88 on Am I asexual if I have this domme style fantasy?

lots of aces experience arousal, especially to certain stimulus, what we dont experience is sexual attraction. attraction and arousal are not the same thing November 29, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/rezkia on Bi/ace flag came in!

Coolll November 29, 2020 at 11:38PM

/u/rezkia on Anyone else like Pink Floyd?

Yeaaaaaahhhhhh November 29, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/Kovitlac on How do you feel when people say ‘I wish I was like you.’

I've never had that said to me, but if I did I'd feel pretty uncomfortable. November 29, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/Kovitlac on Is this person coming off as a bit acephobic to anyone else? They really seem to be downplaying asexuality and making it sound like a choice to me.

I think people are way too quick to jump to "aphobia!" November 29, 2020 at 11:24PM

/u/yuqimichi on What does romantic attraction feel like?

In my case, especially in earlier stage I think about the person I like almost 24 hours.In my eyes, that person looks like the most gorgeous person in the world with the sweetest smile. I want to spend all of my time with him, I want to tell all of my secrets to him. I want to be there for him when he needs someone to support him. November 29, 2020 at 11:21PM

/u/Speedywins on Do you guys prefer cake or garlic bread?

Pie is very good. November 29, 2020 at 11:14PM

/u/the-fresh-air on Anybody else on here identify as aceflux?

I am! November 29, 2020 at 11:09PM

/u/Pattonpuff on How to deal with "you just haven't met the right one yET" ^^

Because bis get aces because exclusion so they look it up? November 28, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/Lessedgepls on How to deal with "you just haven't met the right one yET" ^^

Really? How so? November 28, 2020 at 11:52PM

/u/An_Amazing_Turtle on I Need Intimacy

I feel exactly the same. I love cuddling and kissing a partner but just the thought of being naked or having sex with someone is uncomfortable at best. I don't know how this hasn't occured to me earlier that this isn't how most people are but hey November 28, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/RevolutionaryAd7929 on Please help me.

Hey! Saw your comment on my thread, really feel for you man and I can definitely empathise with all those feelings of sadness and rejection you're getting. My advice as a person in a similar situation is to keep up communication with your SO, like if you have questions about the situation you've gotta ask otherwise you'll end up creating the wrong answers and fixating on those yourself. I'd say the first thing you gotta do is figure out how much sex means to you in a relationship or if you would value any kind on non sexual intimacy on a similar level? Cos if that's the case you could work together on (re)building up a strong foundation of intimate connections together on a non sexual level. This ties into the communication, so as you're craving to be touched maybe you need to express this to her as she's not helping you here, would just a good morning kiss/hug and cuddles when sat together fulfil this for you? And seen as though you have posted in r/asex

/u/-Solidwater on Does noticing that someone is "sexy" stop me being ace?

The best way is either popcorn night or being a rebel kid and staying awake. November 28, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/lifelezzz on Tried having sex

You’re right, it is better to stay safe than sorry. I’ll go to a youth center next week, hopefully it’s not closed due to corona! Thank you for caring:) November 28, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/Poprock077 on My black cat ace ring :D

Aww it's cute! November 28, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/Ishouldjustgotobed on Please help me.

Has she told you she's asexual? November 28, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/lifelezzz on Tried having sex

Thanks:) It’s always nice to find new communities that you can relate to. It’s also comforting knowing people have been in similar situations as me, even though it’s sad that we have to go trough it in the first place of course. I needed to hear this, sometimes I’m just too naive or just don’t realize the reality of the situation, but I do need to be more careful. I too hope that I one day can have a safe and healthy relationship with sex. What I do know for now is that this just isn’t the best time for it, and I’m going to prioritize taking care of myself first. And if someone shows up in my life I’ll take it from there. November 28, 2020 at 11:42PM

/u/An_Amazing_Turtle on Does noticing that someone is "sexy" stop me being ace?

Couldn't think of a worse way to spend a night November 28, 2020 at 11:42PM

/u/TheCoolerSeiver on Little do they know

Excuse the fuck out of me? My roommate was raped and I can safely say he did not enjoy it. And I’m allo as fuck and would still have severe issues with anyone just walking up and treating me like a sex object November 28, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/AdeMal on Do you guys think genital preference is separate from sexual orientation?

Broadly, I think the two are conflated by most, because they're used to the heteronormative take that men have a dick and women have a pussy. Due to an increasing nuance in the gender discussion, this two have become increasingly separated. I think that if a single human alive can separate the two entirely, it's evidence enough that the two cannot be irrevocably entangled from one-another. For me, preference is based on presentation , in that I tend to prefer folks who are more femme, regardless of what they're packing because most options are their own delight. On the other side of that, I've seen folks who identify as "cocksexual" or "gynophilic" in that they are ambivalent to your gender orientation for romance but sexually have a genital preference. November 28, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/An_Amazing_Turtle on How long were you questioning before realising you were asexual?

I'm glad to hear you are doing better :) November 28, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/IJand90DayFiance on How to deal with "you just haven't met the right one yET" ^^

I HAVE to try this November 28, 2020 at 11:36PM

/u/Bennyboi456 on Don't know what's wrong with me (NSFW).

It was virtual (covid) so I don't know if assault counts. November 28, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/PhrygianNoodles on In horror movies it’s always the people having sex who die first and the “pure” ones who make it out alive

I developed an addiction. But for a long time I was content only masturbating every month or so. I do have these feelings that abstinence makes me pure. But it's only because i want to have sex with someone i trust and havent met anyone who I do. I'm not ace November 28, 2020 at 11:34PM

/u/Ishouldjustgotobed on I identify as ACE

Yo, try r/DeadBedrooms . This is not the place for this. It doesn't even sound like an asexuality problem, though of course I'm not your partner so I can't know for sure. Good luck, but, please, do not come here with unsolicited potential harmful advice anymore. November 28, 2020 at 11:34PM

/u/VerticallyAdvanced on Have you heard?

Thanks, it's just a sort of habit to apologize yk? XD November 28, 2020 at 11:32PM

/u/distressed_amygdala on Don't know what's wrong with me (NSFW).

Don't treat yourself like that. The other person should have respected you and your wishes. You probably wouldn't say I should have known better. November 28, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/Nerddess on Have you heard?

Don't apologize for having a sense of humor November 28, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/Pattonpuff on When you're ace and you saw one anime and accidentally enjoyed it:

Your being sarcastic right November 28, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/uglygirllfriend on When you're ace and you saw one anime and accidentally enjoyed it:

Ha ha! that's funny! Thanks for pointing that out, someone should've made a joke about that! November 28, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/DemonicSpiritVandom on are you introverted or extroverted

I dont mind going outside with friends, but i would rather be inside November 28, 2020 at 11:25PM

/u/stormaster on Welp

On Desktop, go to the sidebar, click the "Edit" button next to your username. November 27, 2020 at 11:56PM

/u/Lili_6400 on How many people?

I came out to only one friend, she said she loves me no matter what. But when I was in a process of self discovery I told my brother and told him what it mean and he told me that I’m being stupid 😑 November 27, 2020 at 11:56PM

/u/Yeety_McYeety on Welp

Same November 27, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/sparkybooman27 on Welp

me asexual and enby Well yes, but no. November 27, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/MickeyMouseAlt on We've hacked student life: no-oven garlic bread!

Good god why has this sub never crossed me before November 27, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/Lili_6400 on I had an ace epiphany

I get very shy around my crushs. I don’t think of fucking them but I do imagine what it would be like if we were together. When I talk to my crush I get nervous because I’m afraid to say something stupid. 🤷🏻‍♀️ November 27, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/Yeety_McYeety on Welp

I also like them UwU November 27, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/Looking4Maria on Welp

Well parents will always love their child so coming out will legitimise the entire spectrum with you as the catalyst for progress. November 27, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/Lace000 on someone found out they were Ace, cool

I finally worked it out at 39 (46 now). I'm sure there are lots of older people out there who just think they're broken/have something wrong with them, like I did. That's one reason we need awareness. Awareness is not just to help the young people! I, for one, am glad more young people are aware of asexuality. I don't want them spending their lives thinking they're broken. We already have enough challenges to deal with. November 27, 2020 at 11:48PM

/u/Sil_Lavellan on someone found out they were Ace, cool

I was, and err, still am over 40, when I realised that I was Asexual and not just too lazy to put any effort into dating, or finding a husband, as I assumed I was straight. Found out through the good folk of Reddit that asexuality was a thing and I feel great about discovering that I don't actually need to be sexually attracted to anyone. People literally only date because they want to, and often compelled to do so to mingle body fluids. I don't have to, fancy that. November 27, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/plupples-gonna-plup on I have trouble believing that other people can actually genuinely be ace

I totally understand feeling conflicted and I can relate. One thing that helped me was just trying on some different identities and seeing how I felt. Walk around for a week thinking, “I think I’m asexual,” or whatever else fits. Does that label feel comfortable? Helpful? Inaccurate? You don’t have to rush. You have the rest of your life to figure it out. Another thing that can help: remembering that asexuality and aromanticism can be a spectrum. Lots of people are gray ace or demi. There is freedom to just say, “I’m somewhere on the asexuality spectrum,” and then if down the line you change your mind, that’s fine. If you know you aren’t heterosexual, cis, allo, etc, you’re allowed to label yourself within queerness. You get to define yourself. November 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/LowerCranberry on My sister came out to me tonight and now I'm kinda jelly

Ace here: I found out about my asexuality at 21 and until then, I thought the majority of people are like me and that sex is simply like going in a loud, overcrowded club: Noone actually likes it that much, but we all just do it to go with the norm. Yeahh turns out that's not true... turns out I did not see the perspective of my allo friends one bit. So being the sex positive ace that I am, I asked them what it was like and a whole new perspective opened up for me. Apparently EVERYONE in my high school was sexually active outside of stable relationships. And apparently, most were pretty secretive about it, because they did not know what to make of it. And apparently, they struggled with the opposite sex and how to deal with these feelings of attraction. Turns out allos have a whole lot of things to deal with in their own respect. Problems that I didn't even consider before. Frankly, I wouldn't want to switch. Long story short: pets OP's shoulder I understand your pe

/u/Fluffy-Strawberry-27 on I have trouble believing that other people can actually genuinely be ace

I have the opposite problem, it's hard for me to grasp the idea that allos can see a stranger and feel desire to have sex with them. Some times I really doubt allos exists at all and they just like dirty jokes so they can feel more "mature" November 27, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/AcrossTheMilkySeas on guess i’ll never know true love you guys 🤷🏼

This is such bad wording that it accidentally implies incest. November 27, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/PlusCompote on Imagine how much this would've messed me up if I had been ace. :/

I think so too, but I don't want to invalidate the subtle communications OP may have picked up that are not easily translated to text. In the end, OP is the authority here without more information from them. November 27, 2020 at 11:42PM

/u/AcrossTheMilkySeas on guess i’ll never know true love you guys 🤷🏼

I think romantic desire in friendship would just be a romantic friendship, which is totally a thing that needs a rennaisaance. And it seems like whoever the person is in the OP doesn't understand the difference between platonic love, romantic love and sexual desire. November 27, 2020 at 11:42PM

/u/Read-Worry9221 on How many people?

Especially as I’m pan/bi romantic as well...... better get started on that essay.... (I think it’s just me because I can’t seem to talk long sentences anyway or explain myself I stumble over my words and usually give up on explaining long or hard conversations 🤦‍♀️) November 27, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/causeninfection on Welp

It boggles my mind too. When I told my parents they were basically like okay, what pertinence does this have to me? I was oh okay, we cool, I guess. Well, I guess apathy isn’t that great either. But my mom is excited with me when I think I found another asexual person to date. November 27, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/Svefnugr_Fugl on I have trouble believing that other people can actually genuinely be ace

I see where you are coming I think it is religion and media that make people question others and their own Asexuality. It makes us struggle to imagine others views and even our own, like when I hear young teens post that they are virgin and sex repulsed, I get that thought most allos tells you "how do you know if you never tried it?" Even though I know thats not the case but media always forces that don't knock it if you haven't tried it motto. Catholic beliefs always have that negative/sin outlook that you should only have sex once married, yet it can sometimes get cultish in forcing marriage on individuals which would give people reason for not wanting or enjoying sex, but then from looking on AVEN not all of us are religious or the same so not all would have that view drummed into us. I was raised Catholic but went to Satanism because I thought fuck it, can't avoid sins rather than giving me fear like others. I eventually got into norse paganism and it can fe

/u/chief-ares on DAE who's aroace feel that they're only attracted to alloros?

I’m not sure about the alloros, but I’ve had a few experiences like yours, which I also assume is because I’m alterous too. They tell me they were interested in me, and I put them on a slightly higher than friend list. Then it all falls apart because I’m not interested in anything further than basically friends, but I didn’t have that knowledge of myself at the time. There’s so many different attractions, it can be very confusing to identify and understand them. I feel with you. November 27, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/a_pig_with_a_shirt on Welp

Funny this is, I’m an ace nby. BTW that sucks, hope ur mom gets over her acephobia November 27, 2020 at 11:36PM

/u/Read-Worry9221 on Welp

My heart goes out to you ! 💜🖤🤍 I tried to come out to my mum but she wouldn’t accept that I was and said the routinely “you have crushes, 🙄 you’ll change your mind, stop going on google!!” 🙄 she basically thinks ace and aro are the same thing and everything so I had to go back in the closet.... I might get her a book on asexuality when I’m older so she can learn about it (I say when I’m older aka when I’m braver and maybe when I don’t live in the same house as her! 😅) The thing is if you try and come out like I did it’s just so f**king hard to explain rather then... I’m gay! Like especially as I have crushes and I’m panromantic as well 🤦‍♀️ I feel like I’ll have to write an essay and give it to everyone instead of saying it so I can actually say everything right and explain it right 🤦‍♀️ November 27, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/peppermintapples on someone found out they were Ace, cool

Teenage girls especially it seems. Just let them enjoy things! November 27, 2020 at 11:34PM

/u/butnobodycame123 on My sister showed me the urban dict. definition of Pansexuality and so I looked up the one for Asexual XD maybe this has been posted before, but I love this

There are many kinds of dragons. You can always be an Eastern dragon (no wings) like Shenron from Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z. Only European/Western dragons have wings, iirc. THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO DRAGON FACTS! November 26, 2020 at 11:56PM

/u/southerncraftgurl on My sister showed me the urban dict. definition of Pansexuality and so I looked up the one for Asexual XD maybe this has been posted before, but I love this

I'm in my 50s. No wings here either. :( November 26, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/AroWeirdo on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

Dude I LOVE wings of fire!! The characters are so likeable and there absolutely are lgbtq dragons! The cover art is really cool, and the graphic novels are really good too! November 26, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/southerncraftgurl on My sister showed me the urban dict. definition of Pansexuality and so I looked up the one for Asexual XD maybe this has been posted before, but I love this

I've never read that definition before. I'm also new to this sub. But to know there are people out there that feel like I do...omg I found my people!! November 26, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/Mei_xii on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

have you read wings of fire? the plot is kinda basic but the characters and the cover art are phenomenal! plus I think there are a few lgbtqia+ dragons so what else could you want. highly recommend! November 26, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/Clev3490 on Yup, I've been through it all

Parkour! November 26, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/SultanofShit on Can I identify as ace as a 14 year old?

Nobody's ever told they're too young to know they're straight. November 26, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/AroWeirdo on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

Ah, that sucks =( Luckily, my parents know how much I like dragons, and they know most dragons aren't that edgy I hope you find a way to get it! November 26, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/Mei_xii on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

it might be "tooOOOOoO edgY" for my parents. (they don't even like black socks with stars) :,) but acK I can't wait to get that ring! November 26, 2020 at 11:42PM

/u/AroWeirdo on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

I'm closeted too! The ring doesn't mention anything about asexuality in it, it just says that it's a dragon ring! November 26, 2020 at 11:37PM

/u/Mei_xii on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

Ay thanks! I'm closeted so I might have to ask my friends to smuggle me one haha. November 26, 2020 at 11:33PM

/u/AroWeirdo on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

I got it on etsy! If you search up "adjustable black dragon ring" it should come up! Hopefully for you they'll send you the black one lol November 26, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/Mei_xii on My ace ring came! Sadly, I wss accidentally shipped the silver one... still looks really cool, though!

This is stunning! May I ask where you got it? November 26, 2020 at 11:25PM

/u/SpookyCatMischief on I'm an enby artist that paints hidden pride flags for people in unaccepting households. I wanted to add gold to the ace flag specifically because there's such a misconception about ace people dull or boring, all over their preference. The gold combats that. I stand with you, friends.

I completely understand you meant no ill will! Please do what you wish to do. It is, in the end, YOUR art. I like the second explanation better. Adding gold because you want to put beauty with beauty actually kind of makes me happy you find aces, therefore me, beautiful. :) I may not have expressed myself well, and I am sorry if I seemed crabby or judgmental. And I get the confusion of sexuality. Been there myself! I wish you plenty of reflection! November 26, 2020 at 11:22PM

/u/Creative-Solution on Yup, I've been through it all

Yep! I'm ace, but still in the grey phase of aro xD I do actually think I've been in love before, although it was an animated character when I was 12 *sigh. Idk if I've ever even had a crush on an actual human.. the 3 crushes I had turned out to be squishes lol November 26, 2020 at 11:20PM

/u/somerandomguy8421 on A thing I came up with(I'm ace as friiiick)

😮 November 26, 2020 at 11:19PM

/u/somerandomguy8421 on Ace ring 😍

Ooh I like the purple November 26, 2020 at 11:17PM

/u/throwaway93762694928 on My sister showed me the urban dict. definition of Pansexuality and so I looked up the one for Asexual XD maybe this has been posted before, but I love this

They forgot about the garlic bread November 26, 2020 at 11:16PM

/u/Gravity-FAN on Is this really how asexuals think it goes? This was a reply to my comment about how asexuals can have sex (the original post was about how asexuals don't give a fuck (hehe)(which I said that not everyone is sex repulsed))

Sexual. They just prefer to wait for the right moment. They don't care about looks. My point was to say that being asexual doesn't make you a person who abstains from sex. Sex doesn't define sexuality. November 26, 2020 at 11:15PM

/u/Cheycartoongirl8 on This is so wholesome aaaaaaaaaaa

*happy noises* November 26, 2020 at 11:15PM

/u/TheHoodGoblin on Happy thanks giving to all.

I just woke up & made shrimp pasta lol November 26, 2020 at 11:14PM

/u/somerandomguy8421 on I might be grey asexual?

No problem. November 26, 2020 at 11:12PM

/u/romanator25 on I WANT TO HUG A GIRL LOL

Yay! November 26, 2020 at 11:12PM

Every time a guy I like starts making moves on me, I start to lose interest and want nothing to do with him.

I don't really know whether this is normal. I have been in relationships before and don't really have any self-esteem issues so I don't know why I feel this way. I can have the biggest crush on a guy for any amount of time, but the moment I feel like that interest is reciprocated, I start to lose romantic interest in him and feel uncomfortable if he makes a move. Recently I have gotten closer to a guy friend who I have had a crush on for a few months. We have known each other for a while and he is a great person and I am attracted to him. However, the other day he was a lot more physically flirty than usual (he's not ordinarily a flirty person) and I was instantly put off, even though I should have been excited that he was showing interest. I am perfectly comfortable with physical touch so I don't think that was the issue, it was more that he confidently showed interest. I almost felt myself recoil. This has happened to me before but I don't know whether I s

Realistic and romantics needed: I'm (F23) dying to contact the guy(M30) I fell in love with but it ended a while ago.

It ended months ago and since then I've resisted the urge but I can't help but think whether I was the problem with my crazy. This isn't to say what I felt at the time that we parted wasn't valid. He also hasn't reached out to me at all either so that makes me even more right but I can't help but I feel like I pushed him away. I really just want to see him again but don't want to be that girl.I know how stupid it is but its killing me to not reach out. Should I follow my heart and put on my clownface or just give up? Submitted November 25, 2020 at 11:51PM It ended months ago and since then I've resisted the urge but I can't help but think whether I was the problem with my crazy. This isn't to say what I felt at the time that we parted wasn't valid. He also hasn't reached out to me at all either so that makes me even more right but I can't help but I feel like I pushed him away. I really just want to see him again but don't

What should I make my date for dinner?

This will be our fourth date if that matters and he has been very thoughtful and sweet to me so I’d like to do something nice for him! Submitted November 25, 2020 at 11:54PM This will be our fourth date if that matters and he has been very thoughtful and sweet to me so I’d like to do something nice for him!

Regaining control after hookup?

31M Hooked up with a typical femme fatale(30F) last sunday, she's completely obsessed with sex and its the only thing she wants. I want another (last) date, but I also know about all of her options, and as i'm too blind and thirsty- I already made some rookie mistakes. I texted first the day after the hookup and told her I enjoyed it and i'd like some more. To which she kind of said yes, but tested me first by asking me what I wanted to do with her. After that she said "alright, lets see what happens. " I texted her the day after that again to set up a date, she said she wanted to but her period started, to which i basically told her to contact me when shes ready. Each time i've texted her she replies almost instantly, doesn't let me wait, but she is super distant and i'm the one chasing. I'm so obsessed with what she gave me during the hookup that I've lost my game. She is in complete control. How do I regain control and land this second

I’m confused about a guy not responding to me

I’m a 16F. I was starting to talk to a 17M, and he was being a little overbearing. I started leaving him on read a lot and a few days ago he asked if he was being overbearing, and I said “ a little “ he said he was busy the next day so he wouldn’t be texting me. The day after that one I asked him about his SoundCloud and he left me on delivered for 24+ hours. Then he responded with a one line response and I’ve been on delivered for 6 days now. Why is he acting like this? Submitted November 25, 2020 at 11:47PM I’m a 16F. I was starting to talk to a 17M, and he was being a little overbearing. I started leaving him on read a lot and a few days ago he asked if he was being overbearing, and I said “ a little “ he said he was busy the next day so he wouldn’t be texting me. The day after that one I asked him about his SoundCloud and he left me on delivered for 24+ hours. Then he responded with a one line response and I’ve been on delivered for 6 days now. Why is he acting like this?

Whenever I ask them out they say I'm rushing things

Like girl #1 was really telling me she wanted to come to my gym and workout together since I shared some workout pics, she then said that after that we could come over to her house for a drink. So I was like alirght why not. Then I ask her when she wanted to meet up and she suddenly says we're rushing things like holy shit that was the biggest cocktease of my life. I've had various girls say im rusihng things cause I don't want to text longer than neccesairy cause I like to know what they're like in person asap before i invest too much of my time in them. So this time i was like alright i'll wait and be patient with girl #2 so we texted for like 6 days straight, she was one hell of a dry texter but did seem to show interest and kept texting me so i was like alirght why not help her out by asking her out right since dry texters don't like texting that much i thought and surprise she said we're rushing things. ​ How long should i generally wait before i

How do I move forward? or should I?

I recently noticed a guy from my class, and now the semester’s pretty much over. A couple days ago I slid up on his instagram story and we talked for a while. I ended up trying to ask him to go out with me and my friends, but he said he was busy. I’m sure he really is busy, but I don’t want to ask again if he isn’t interested at all. I don’t want to be the one to always start the conversation, but I don’t know how to let him know that I’m interested without potentially embarrassing myself. Submitted November 25, 2020 at 10:40PM I recently noticed a guy from my class, and now the semester’s pretty much over. A couple days ago I slid up on his instagram story and we talked for a while. I ended up trying to ask him to go out with me and my friends, but he said he was busy. I’m sure he really is busy, but I don’t want to ask again if he isn’t interested at all. I don’t want to be the one to always start the conversation, but I don’t know how to let him know that I’m interested witho

How to decide when it’s not worth it or when to give ppl a chance?

Why does dating require so much effort uh! I’ve been having incidences in the past where I had rejected a couple guys and friends would continue to tell me oh you shouldn’t be so harsh on judging these ppl, maybe give them some time to get to know them better. What ends up happening usually is I don’t like them even more after getting to know them better. Or sometimes when friends ask me whether I would consider one of our friends, and I started to find him attractive, but making moves got tricky, then friends would say things like oh it’s not worth it and want to introduce their other friends to me. Why is it that I’m always the one that should give others a chance and get to know them better and when I want to approach someone I’m interested in then shouldn’t try to impress them bc it’s not worth it? Like why do I have to be the nice person to take on ppl I’m not too interested but when I’m interested in someone it’s always not worth working for? What if the other person also jus

Advice on following up after meeting girl at a small gathering

I (27M), was at a small (safe and socially distanced lol) gathering between a few friends celebrating my buddys engagement. There was a girl I met. 25 ish. She boulders with my friend and his fiance. He showed up a little late so we didn't talk for more than about 10 to 15 minutes, but it seemed like she may have been single as she came alone. didn't get much of a chance to talk it didn't really seem proper to ask her for her number that quickly and there wasn't really a good chance because we were in the room with others and socially distanced so being subtle wasnt an option. Next day I texted my friend and asked if she was single and he confirmed that she is. He didn't necessarily think it was a bad fit but noted he isn't great at knowing who would work lol. They are getting married on January 2nd and the same small group of people will be the only people in attendance, (again socially distanced.) My question is should I wait until the wedding comes aro

Why/how do some unplesant women manage to get married or relationships while people like me [23F] can't?

Im 23F and ready to settle down. Did the living in multiple countries things, 2 degrees, time to get married. I like to watch bridezillas show that used to be on and even from as far as 15 years ago these woman are my age, and are unbearable. Mostly in their personalities. They treat their fiances so bad, yet for some reason me, who has never acted that way towards anyone, cant get a boyfriend. I dont get it. Why does this happen? It has nothing to do with looks, its their personalities that are crap and yet they still find happiness. This is valid in real life as well. I dont understand it. Also, this goes beyond a TV show. I see this behavior in people I know lifes too. I see it in my own cousin's marriage, and I just dont understand. Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:07AM Im 23F and ready to settle down. Did the living in multiple countries things, 2 degrees, time to get married.I like to watch bridezillas show that used to be on and even from as far as 15 years ago the

I'm(26M) getting Mixed signals from her (22F)

So we haven't met yet due to the pandemic but we've been chatting online for 6 months now. Some months ago she started to call me honey and she wanted to meet me. I reciprocated and basically we call eachother cute names and such. She sent many photos of herself etc. She always responds positively etc. We have a lot in common. But, she rarely if ever initiate texting. If we stop chatting, days will go by in radio silence from her. If I try to start picking it up and start chatting again she can take 20 hours before she answers. But when the chatting has started she will be more quick in responding. She says im perfect and a real man bla bla. But if she actually liked me wouldn't she atleast put some effort into initiating atleast SOMETIMES? I have a bad gut feeling about it, she was the one that started liking me why I need to chase her for attention? Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:09AM So we haven't met yet due to the pandemic but we've been chatting o

Is cutting off a friend because she's not romantically interested a dick move?

The thing is she really likes me and I can't bare to explain why I'm not talking to her all of a sudden. She was interested at first, then after a friendship established she rejected me (months ago) but we remained friends, still though my feelings didn't change and I'm just falling asleep sad every night because I know she's just not into me. In order to stop feeling sorry for myself I just stopped talking to her and she seems sad about it which also doesn't feel great for me. I just feel like an asshole for essentially ghosting her but I can't seem to cope any other way Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:13AM The thing is she really likes me and I can't bare to explain why I'm not talking to her all of a sudden. She was interested at first, then after a friendship established she rejected me (months ago) but we remained friends, still though my feelings didn't change and I'm just falling asleep sad every night because I know she's

Why can't I do this anymore?

Is anyone else having a difficult time with actually meeting up with someone you met thru OLD? When it comes down to it, I freak the fuck out and then blow them off. I am anxious by nature, but it's never been this bad.. Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:16AM Is anyone else having a difficult time with actually meeting up with someone you met thru OLD? When it comes down to it, I freak the fuck out and then blow them off. I am anxious by nature, but it's never been this bad..

Ex[23f] just completely unfriended me[24m] on social media right after the breakup. Does she even care?

She just left saying “K then, I don’t know if I will talk to you anymore because I only make you mad. I’m not enough. You deserve better. You’re out of my league. Sorry for everything. I asked her if she was gone forever and she said “I don’t know, I don’t want to leave you but I just don’t know how to make you happy anymore.” When she said “I only make you mad” I replied “No” but she kept saying “Mhm” so I gave up and let her go. She unfriended me right after. I told her if that’s what she wanted then fine. My ex deals with low self esteem/depression and I deal with irritation from my depression so I guess that’s why she said that. Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:17AM She just left saying “K then, I don’t know if I will talk to you anymore because I only make you mad. I’m not enough. You deserve better. You’re out of my league. Sorry for everything.I asked her if she was gone forever and she said “I don’t know, I don’t want to leave you but I just don’t know how to make you

/u/PhrygianNoodles on This, this is it. They are wants and not needs

I agree completely. Ejaculation might be a need though. Im not asexual, just sex repulsed, especially by hypersexual behavior and polyamory. Still a virgin by choice and considering lifelong celibacy. November 25, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/pointsaresingular on I'm an enby artist that paints hidden pride flags for people in unaccepting households. I wanted to add gold to the ace flag specifically because there's such a misconception about ace people dull or boring, all over their preference. The gold combats that. I stand with you, friends.

This is really lovely! What a cool thing to do! November 25, 2020 at 11:48PM

/u/BabyBandit616 on How do Allos accidentally sleep with someone?

Okay story time. When I was 18, I had a friend who said she lost her virginity, well she told me “it just happened” while they were watching Star Wars. I was so mad but I didn’t realize until later it was because I was asexual, and couldn’t understand why people wanted to do things like that. Another allo friend of mine however, told me sex doesn’t happen on accident unless someone’s inebriated. November 25, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/TheyThemArt on I'm an enby artist that paints hidden pride flags for people in unaccepting households. I wanted to add gold to the ace flag specifically because there's such a misconception about ace people dull or boring, all over their preference. The gold combats that. I stand with you, friends.

Thank you so much 💕💕 November 25, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/bubbles2360 on This, this is it. They are wants and not needs

Not a physiological one, no because if so, that means people like nuns would’ve been dead centuries ago. Sex is a want, not a need. Anything that can kill you without it is a need. People don’t need sex but rather desire it cuz if people needed sex to survive then that means newborns, infants, toddlers, young children, etc would be banging each other on a regular basis to stay alive which clearly doesn’t happen November 25, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/AHauntingAlternative on I'm an enby artist that paints hidden pride flags for people in unaccepting households. I wanted to add gold to the ace flag specifically because there's such a misconception about ace people dull or boring, all over their preference. The gold combats that. I stand with you, friends.

This is really cool! And a great thing to do :] I really like the concept behind the gold and it really just adds that extra splash of interest 👌 November 25, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/russtbedsprings on My boyfriend says he accepts my asexuality but his behavior doesn't show it. (NSFW)

[[[ "I really don't like your sudden jump to be asexual. Sexual desire is normal and you shouldn't reject your feelings." "See you're not asexual because you are clearly feeling horny right now" Romantic flirting equals horniness how?? ]]] You are in a relationship with a guy that is trying to replace YOUR OWN perceptions on what YOU are feeling with what HE thinks you "should" be thinking or feeling. In other words you are only allowed to feel or think something that he deems to be "right" or he agrees with. This is known as "gaslighting" and it is a common tactic used by bullies/abusive partners. Leave before it gets worse. November 25, 2020 at 11:15PM

/u/Kernel_Pie on why do we not start a sub for agenital people

r/Apothisexual might be what you're looking for. Thats a sub for Aces who are sex repulsed and do not want sexual relationships. November 25, 2020 at 11:09PM

/u/yooooongles on Can people people really look at someone and think (or feel) they want sex?

I can relate to this. The idea of me sleeping with someone else makes me really uneasy. I'm not against the idea of doing other physical things with people, though it's been ages since those feelings have ever been directed at a specific person. I'd rather just have someone to hang out with tbh, lol. I'm open to the chance that this might change when I'm older, but I don't count on it. Remember that sexuality is fluid and just because it changes doesn't mean it's a phase. Your feelings now are as valid as they will be later in life. November 25, 2020 at 11:08PM

/u/BilPhry on I’d like to share my ace ring too! Don’t forget, all of you guys are kings/queens just like this ring!

Thank you! November 24, 2020 at 11:58PM

/u/KitonePeach on My partner thinks I'm Asexual. Am I?

Yup! The spectrum is pretty much allosexual (people who do experience sexual attraction) all the way to ace sexual (people who do not). Things like gray-ace and demisexual fall in the area in between allo and ace, since they experience attraction much more rarely than an allo would. November 24, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/cherry-on-the-cake on Are sensual and aesthetic attractions part of romantic attraction?

On another note, I went through some of your posts and, as a 28M, I can relate to many points. If you don’t mind me asking, do you consider yourself a heteroromantic asexual? November 24, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/deathbyhottub on Some sexual attraction?

cool, I hope it helps! November 24, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/n59690 on Asexual due to porn addiction.

As far as I know, I'd say my sexuality changed. I started paying attention to men's physical features that I did not a few years back. November 24, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/dabbilyabbily on A not quite black ring for my not quite ase self 😊

Ahh, I’ve seen it both ways, but yeah, ace looks better. 🤷🏻‍♀️ November 24, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/Disastrous-Angle-260 on Some sexual attraction?

I'll look it up, thanks! November 24, 2020 at 11:49PM

/u/deathbyhottub on Some sexual attraction?

you might be demisexual! It sounds like you described it, it's when you need an emotional bond before being sexually attracted to someone. November 24, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/EmilaiG on Genius tried to debunk my asexuality... AGAIN.

What a butt, sorry you have to deal with that :/ November 24, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/Outrageous_Fall240 on Are sensual and aesthetic attractions part of romantic attraction?

I’m not sure. I just think aesthetic attraction is being drawn to someone because of looks and that doesn’t always have to be in a romantic sense. November 24, 2020 at 11:39PM

/u/Python_Anon on Genius tried to debunk my asexuality... AGAIN.

What an absolute git. November 24, 2020 at 11:33PM

/u/that__one__nerd on Hmm... No I didn't

Queerphobia and homophobia are not interchangeable for some. Thanks for calling that out! November 24, 2020 at 11:32PM

/u/cherry-on-the-cake on Are sensual and aesthetic attractions part of romantic attraction?

I wonder what the line is between aesthetically attractive and aesthetically pleasing. November 24, 2020 at 11:32PM

/u/LightRayAAA on My dad made his homemade New England Clam Chowder Soup. I wish I had garlic bread with it instead of a plain bread bowl as I was craving for it and it taste 10x more better when you dunk it into the soup.

that is damn good November 24, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/LightRayAAA on My dad made his homemade New England Clam Chowder Soup. I wish I had garlic bread with it instead of a plain bread bowl as I was craving for it and it taste 10x more better when you dunk it into the soup.

Asexuals obsessing over food is a huge meme. The joke is that it has nothing to do with Asexuality, or sexuality in general November 24, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/brachacelia on I’m 15 and I think I might be asexual

I’ve always had romantic attraction but sexual attraction I just don’t have. We will see if I’m a late bloomer like you! November 24, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/taintblister on I’m going to come out to my friends

Tell them in whatever way you are most comfortable with. <3 November 24, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/fluffypinkblonde on My dad made his homemade New England Clam Chowder Soup. I wish I had garlic bread with it instead of a plain bread bowl as I was craving for it and it taste 10x more better when you dunk it into the soup.

I promise I will eat it with garlic bread! November 24, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/ChezJason on Let's be Sherlock: How Can You Distinguish an Asexual Without Them Telling You?

I had a coworker peg me as ace because I don’t talk about past relationships at all, nor do I give people compliments related to their appearance November 24, 2020 at 11:24PM

/u/Outrageous_Fall240 on Are sensual and aesthetic attractions part of romantic attraction?

Yeah I didn’t phrase it the best. A better way to explain would be I personally am only romantically attracted to guys. However I can think a girl is really pretty and not want anything romantic from her I just think she looks cool. She’s aesthetically pleasing to me. November 24, 2020 at 11:21PM

/u/cherry-on-the-cake on Are sensual and aesthetic attractions part of romantic attraction?

Isn’t aesthetic attraction more of a long-term effect than just acknowledging someone looks good? From the FAQ, I understood it could be, for example, a desire to look at and appreciate the beauty of your partner. Would that be a romantic attraction as well? November 24, 2020 at 11:18PM

/u/HazyAro on Questioning Sexuality, could use some insight

Hello! I can't tell you anything for sure but if it might help, what you described sounds a lot like sensual attraction: you like physical contact, hugging, kissing and etc but the sex isn't what you enjoy the most right? I know some asexuals do have sex with their partner because they like to give pleasure or they like the dynamics of it, maybe that is your case And if you were unsure about it, the fact that you masturbate or that you can get excited by porn sometimes doesn't mean anything because libido is different than sexual attraction. What you can do, if you already didn't, is ask yourself if you ever felt sexual attraction (and if you're not sure what it is, maybe it's a clue, try searching for people describing it) Also, try searching for the different attraction someone can experience (aesthetic, sensual, platonic...) maybe you will relate to them Hope it helps and if you have any questions ask them! November 24, 2020 at 11:14PM

/u/Outrageous_Fall240 on Are sensual and aesthetic attractions part of romantic attraction?

Yeah, you can not be romantically or sexually attracted to someone and still acknowledge that they look good. That’s aesthetic attraction. Also you can want to hug or cuddle or have physical contact with family or friends in a completely non romantic and non sexual way. That’s sensual attraction. November 24, 2020 at 11:13PM

/u/Bennyboi456 on Aces with libidos do you ever think you just aren't ace sometimes?

That's my exact current situation. November 24, 2020 at 12:00AM

/u/BluudLust on Finally, some one who understands me

Yes. Like sex parts are designed to... Function. That way. Mouths are designed to eat and drink That's it. November 24, 2020 at 12:00AM

/u/Kir-chan on Aces with libidos do you ever think you just aren't ace sometimes?

It's when you're horny. Basically. November 23, 2020 at 11:59PM

/u/Kir-chan on Aces with libidos do you ever think you just aren't ace sometimes?

I was almost 30 when I realised I was asexual because of my libido. I'm sure I am asexual now, but I sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just tell people I am bi instead of dealing with assumptions and misunderstandings... November 23, 2020 at 11:59PM

/u/BlunderFishes on Lonely, but....

Ugh I have this problem too, and it’s been worse during COVID. My natural state of being is home alone on the couch with a book and woe befall anyone who interrupts me! But I still get lonely, because I’m unfortunately not the island I think I am. The best way I’ve found to branch out and meet people is by joining something. A hiking club, a book discussion group, a gym class, a D&D group, online versions of those things...really anything that grabs your interest. I don’t know your age, but school activities can be great if you’re still in school. I offer this advice with the full knowledge that randomly joining a group of people is terrifying. I hate doing it. But it’s really hard to meet those special people who will become your closest friends (or something more) without meeting people in general. And after the first wave of terror has passed, sometimes you end up just really loving the activity you’ve chosen. November 23, 2020 at 11:57PM

/u/Kir-chan on Missing out?

Are gay men missing out on sex with women? November 23, 2020 at 11:56PM

/u/Kir-chan on How to figure out if I'm ace or demi?

No, a demi is a regular ace 90% of the time. You can't "know" you are demi without having had a bond that triggered attraction. November 23, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/AwayPersonDude on Aroaces, would you personally describe yourself as having an attraction to certain genders?

I consider my self straight oriented aroace November 23, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/N0Nobody on Finally, some one who understands me

Even if you're not sex repulsed or anything eating is waaay better anyway. November 23, 2020 at 11:49PM

/u/AMarmaladeSandwich on Online dating as an ace?

I reckon it's always worth giving a go, if you're looking for love. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! I personally got annoyed at AceApp, I got spammed by American men who were most likely bots and trolls than suitors, but there were some nice folks on there I had good conversations with. November 23, 2020 at 11:47PM

/u/Kir-chan on People actually get horny over JPEGs...?

2D > 3D November 23, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/BlunderFishes on I don't know if I'm asexual or if I've been lying to myself

It can be hard to convince ourselves that we’re worth it when we’ve had hurtful and damaging experiences, and when there are so many others suffering too. But like you said, those services are there to help, and it sounds like you could really use the support. And it’s true I don’t know you, but you’re a person with feelings and worries and you want to be happy and that makes you 100% worth it every time. November 23, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/Kir-chan on The thing about aesthetic attraction

Most of the time I start finding actors or characters 'attractive' after I've formed a parasocial bond with them, gotten invested in them. For actors specifically I often only like the particular style of a character they've played, for example I think Tom Hiddleston was gorgeous as Loki but I can't really tell if he's attractive or not in an interview dressed as a regular person. What's interesting is that I sometimes develop a fascination for an aspect of a character that I hate on real people , for example I had a phase when I used to collect fanart of Sephiroth with heavy emphasis on his muscles, even though I usually find defined muscles on men repulsive. I'm also doing that thing where I'm looking at him through another character's eyes who does find him attractive in the usual sense, and that makes me feel some secondhand attraction if that makes sense? But I still categorise it under aesthetic, though maybe it's different. Nov

/u/Doodle_cat16 on I just came out to my bf

Your time will come child November 23, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/FFXV15 on I just came out to my bf

I'm so happy for you!! I strive to have this one day 😭 November 23, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/CottleRylander on Lonely, but....

Lol it got me too after, thanks for pointing it out November 23, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/BombardierBridget on Just figured it out today

What? I feel like you got confused somewhere along the line; not feeling sexual attraction is literally The One Thing. Do you mean we can still have a libido, or that we can still enjoy sex as an activity? November 23, 2020 at 11:34PM

/u/Shaman_Infinitus on Finally, some one who understands me

YES I'm always happy to hear that there are other people who don't get anything out of kissing. Romantic, sexual, or otherwise. It's more repulsive to me than sex!! November 23, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/SparrowSoleil on I have no idea too, but They already explained to me

Alastor (AKA The Radio Demon) from Hazbin Hotel November 23, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/notacockroach_ on Aroaces, would you personally describe yourself as having an attraction to certain genders?

I'm aroace but I definitely have a preference for guys. I just never really had such a strong friendship with girls November 23, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/lavellanrogue on For all the people like me who thought that it is the same thing

Yes, that's right, but a lot of straight guys have sex with random girls at nightclubs (and vice versa) and sometimes they're not even attracted to her but they want to have sex so badly that they go for it. Maybe that's a more suitable comparison that they would understand or relate to. I've heard a lot of people say "I don't even like him/her but he/she went in for a kiss and it ended up in sex" so sex without attraction should not be as uncommon to allosexuals as it is to us. November 23, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/BlunderFishes on How to not make it sound like I'm being coerced??

I’m also a (non-sex-repulsed) ace married to an allo, and it can be an interesting negotiation! I agree with a previous poster about initiating. You might not think to initiate sex in the natural course of things, but think of initiating as something special you can do for her to make her feel loved and wanted. I don’t claim to know either your personal preferences, but an intimate (read: sexy) gift might also fit the bill. It sounds like she heard the “I don’t need sex to be happy” fact loud and clear, so now maybe you can stress how much you enjoy it when it happens. Unless it becomes an issue, you probably don’t need to remind her any more that you don’t need it. It can be hard because we want to be honest and share all of our thoughts and feelings with the person we feel closest to, but when an ace and an allo are negotiating sexual terrain, it’s a lot like speaking a two different languages. It has helped with my partner to frame it as a communication issue rather than an intima

/u/olivetheweirdo on I'm byesexual

me November 23, 2020 at 11:24PM

Is it okay for a 13M to date a 15F?

I'm a lot more mature than practically everyone in my year and most in the year above because I hit puberty two years early Submitted November 22, 2020 at 11:58PM I'm a lot more mature than practically everyone in my year and most in the year above because I hit puberty two years early

More dominant in the bed room?

How can (18m) be more dominant to this girl I’m seeing (18f). We haven’t had actual penetrative sex but we do mouth stuff. She basically told me I’m not rough enough for her which was a huge shot to my ego. She called me a nice guy which really hurt my feelings I’m not going to lie. She seems uncomfortable and awkward when she has her boobs out so I naturally ask if she’s ok with it, and apparently that’s a turn off. But like she doesn’t even let me look at them but she says I act weird? Like yeah you seem uncomfortable why would I push you to do something you don’t want to do? Anyways what could I do in this situation? Submitted November 22, 2020 at 11:59PM How can (18m) be more dominant to this girl I’m seeing (18f). We haven’t had actual penetrative sex but we do mouth stuff. She basically told me I’m not rough enough for her which was a huge shot to my ego. She called me a nice guy which really hurt my feelings I’m not going to lie. She seems uncomfortable and awkward when s

Just me or is it hard flirting with girls with depression

I end up having fun with them at the start then getting friendzoned? Like i feel im the one that always pushes on the flirting to create more of just a friend connection and it works but over time they can get distant through text or not want to engage at all and when it lasts a while the spark starts to diminish and she doesn’t want to play a long too im asking this as im speaking to my ex again left on good terms just didn’t communicate well. Started off real well but i feel she’s being minimal again and i don’t want to apply pressure. Submitted November 23, 2020 at 12:08AM I end up having fun with them at the start then getting friendzoned?Like i feel im the one that always pushes on the flirting to create more of just a friend connection and it works but over time they can get distant through text or not want to engage at all and when it lasts a while the spark starts to diminish and she doesn’t want to play a long tooim asking this as im speaking to my ex again left on g

Revealing feelings.

This is a question I've always wondered. When it comes to affection, is it better to be more forward versus heating around the bush? There's this girl that I like, I think she's super cute and I like her a lot. I never been forward with my feelings because we're good friends and I hate to ruin that by making it awkward. But when it comes to feelings is it better for me to flat out tell her that I like her, do women prefer that? I just get super nervous around revealing my feelings. Submitted November 23, 2020 at 12:14AM This is a question I've always wondered. When it comes to affection, is it better to be more forward versus heating around the bush? There's this girl that I like, I think she's super cute and I like her a lot. I never been forward with my feelings because we're good friends and I hate to ruin that by making it awkward. But when it comes to feelings is it better for me to flat out tell her that I like her, do women prefer that? I j

I accidentally matched on tinder with a colleague who I am not attracted to

The title kind of says it all. I was drunk last night and swiping on tinder, and I came across a colleague of mine. We work in different offices, but we were hired around the same time, so we have done trainings and things together. He’s a cool guy, but not someone I am attracted to. So, being drunk, I thought it would be funny to swipe right and see what happens. I did, and we matched. I figured it probably wasn’t a big deal because men seem to swipe right on everyone, so I thought nothing would ever happen, and, like the idiot I am, I didn’t unmatch right then. A few hours later he messaged me and clearly knew who I was but wanted to talk anyway, and we eventually started talking about things other than work. It’s not a bad convo, and it hasn’t really even gone flirty or sexy at all, so maybe he’s in the same boat as me. I don’t know how to handle this. I’m terrible at rejecting people, and it’s worse because I know him. Normally I would just ghost him because I’m a POS, but agai

/u/romanator25 on I am confussed

That is kind of hard to say tbh, gray asexual Means that you sometimes feel sexual attraction and kind of blankets a lot of the acespec. November 23, 2020 at 12:06AM

/u/allo100 on advice?

This suggests you are ace. November 22, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/Pyro_Pegasus on These are facts

In high school I was in a friend group full of LGBT+ peeps and they all accepted me so I thought this was already the norm. I didn’t know people tried to exclude hetero aces until I started looking at ace and LGBT+ stuff on the internet November 22, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/glizzydoor on advice?

no to all of those questions. sex for me feels like something i had to do to please others. the people i was with never pressured me, it was all internal. i was trying to force myself to feel things i just don’t feel. November 22, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/AwesomeDragon101 on These are facts

Yeah, it’s really strange how being celibate is often considered acceptable because it’s abstaining from a “guilty pleasure,” but being asexual isn’t okay because it’s considered abnormal?? I fail to understand people sometimes. November 22, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/unfortunatelykate on Part two of what asexual romantic are you

Biromantic! November 22, 2020 at 11:38PM

/u/Pack15_ on These are facts

THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT BOYS heck yeah the LGBT community has a weirdly large amount of gate keepers for people who are asexuals yet still hetero November 22, 2020 at 11:37PM

/u/moonboyanddeath on The part of being ace i dont like (nsfw ish content)

Masturbation has become a sort of routine for me. I do it because, well, I just do it. I enjoy it, but at the same time it's rather unsatisfying. It just happens, it feels great, and then the good feeling is gone. I also look at porn (mostly other guys masturbating. don't ask me about the preference), and I automatically get a boner, like my brain is conditioned to just do it when I see someone masturbate. But yeah, I have no desire to have sex. I'm not confused about what I want, I know I'm ace. Masturbation is just normal for biologically active males. It's probably also a sign that I'm healthy or something. Hell, I've been masturbating for as long as I can remember. I just didn't have a name for it then until 5th grade. I'm now 18 and I still masturbate, just because it's become a habit of mine. November 22, 2020 at 11:36PM

/u/Doodle_cat16 on Ace rings

Thanks friend! November 22, 2020 at 11:33PM

/u/-lynxmin on These are facts

Same for the aro het people November 22, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/DragonGirlMesilune on These are facts

r/Repost November 22, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/JumpyLiving on Awkward Conversations and Work

What the heck? Who reports this kind of stuff with literally zero proof (which couldn‘t have been there since you weren‘t romantically involved)? November 22, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/PensiveSilver on These are facts

People think "oh, you're still technically hetero, you don't belong here". Before I realized I was panromantic, an acephobic person told me that hetaces aren't in the community because "you still form exclusively straight relationships" lmao November 22, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/mooncat131 on These are facts

Thank you thank you thank you 💕 November 22, 2020 at 11:25PM

/u/OverlyWrongGag on Ace rings

Nothing specific, usually it's black and worn on the middle finger tho. Seems like in the beginning ppl preferred obsidian but they were too fragile (you can actually read the thread where the idea of the ace ring was born on the Aven network, it's pretty interesting November 22, 2020 at 11:23PM

/u/Cocotte3333 on These are facts

Good then! November 22, 2020 at 11:16PM

/u/FigureInTheDark on These are facts

It's really fucking sad that the original post is only 76% upvoted. Around 1/4 people downvoted November 22, 2020 at 11:11PM

/u/GreyLynx_Splash on I genuinely thought sexual attraction was something people joked about or exaggerated, I didn’t realize it was a thing people usually genuinely experienced, for a while, have any other asexuals felt this?

Hahah ikr November 22, 2020 at 11:08PM

Am I just not meant to have a nice gf as companionship?

my last was almost 4 years ago Submitted November 22, 2020 at 12:06AM my last was almost 4 years ago

Trying to understand what or who I'm better. Hence this question.

I see a lot of them mention on their profiles - " a person who doesn't take themselves seriously" What context are we talking about here? Submitted November 22, 2020 at 12:09AM I see a lot of them mention on their profiles - " a person who doesn't take themselves seriously"What context are we talking about here?