Background info on me: I'm 21, almost 22. I'm an engineering student (getting 2 engineering degrees with a science minor). I'm in a 5 year program, but I'll be graduating a semester early. I'm one of the top engineering students at my whole university (which is one of the best for engineering in the country). I'm also planning on going to grad school. I've been dating my SO (21 M) for two years. He's also in engineering. We're from the same town. My parents approve of him. However, we're planning on getting engaged in May. We love each other, and we plan to move in together. Both of our parents are very traditional, and we would rather be engaged before living with each other. As I'm going to go to grad school, we won't actually get married for another 3+ years. My parents are very, very traditional. They're from a culture where everything is about looking good to others. They expect me to do well in school, expect me to get good g...

I've (19f) have been dating my boyfriend (21m) for a year and half and I just don't want to be intimate anymore. I never had this problem in previous relationships. I have like zero sex drive and I don't need sex to be happy but he does. He gets upset when I reject him and I don't want to make him upset but at the same time I really do not want to have sex. I'm young and I should have a high sex drive and in all my previous relationships I had a high sex drive. I don't know. I'm worried it could cause serious issues if I tell him. TL;DR: Sex issues with boyfriend. He needs sex I don't. Don't know how to fix it. Submitted April 19, 2019 at 04:41AM I've (19f) have been dating my boyfriend (21m) for a year and half and I just don't want to be intimate anymore. I never had this problem in previous relationships. I have like zero sex drive and I don't need sex to be happy but he does. He gets upset when I reject him and I don't wan...

I (23m) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for about 8 months now. For the past couple of months, I haven't been feeling like a priority at all. I know she loves me because she involves me with her friends and family and keeps wanting to go places with me. However, I feel like she only reaches out when she feels like it. She is a bit of a selfish person but I thought I'd learn to live with it. Little things like not wanting me to have her ice cream, cutting dates short because she's tired, etc. A thing to note is that in these past couple of months, she has become very busy with Uni and work. We hang out much less now but Im fine with it. What Im not fine with however is that she takes ages to reply to my texts. She would have definitely seen her phone many times and even put up snapchat stories but wouldnt reply to me. Other than that, some days it's just really hard to have a proper conversation with her, I'd be carrying the convo most of the time. She says...

I have some very close friends whom i introducded to another friend i had a while back. Me and that friend no longer speak due to some issues but they invite said friend over to get togethers and say they can't invite me bc "we domt want drama" this gets me very angry and upset that they choose her over me even tho i do so much for them and she doesnt do anything nor invites them to anything though i do for them. I always supply them with alcohol when we all hang out and drive them around and buy them food bc they don't currently have jobs. I know for sure she has talked alot of smack about me In front of them in the past tho i never really did in return. It seems like i am rambling but this really hurts me and im not sure if i have the right. They say i overreact but im not sure i do. In just hurt they choose to invite someone else and not me even thl i wouldn't have an issue in going. A good friend did that for her birthday party and i habe since cut her off b...

The title is as dumb as it sounds. I'm going to start from the beginning. Please note, I don't usually talk about myself or my relationship, especially to the public. My boyfriend, [37M] and I [28F] were chatting on the phone earlier and he asked if I wanted to get dinner with his family after he and his brother work on the Z. I said yes. It sounds fun to get out of the house. We are two busy bees and hardly have any social interactions anymore. I get off work and arrive home around 6:45ish. His bro is not here and they are not working on the car. I asked him where his brother was and he tells me that no one can get a hold of him since he's working on the yard. They work for the railroad. So I sit waiting for anything to happen or any suggestions. He calls his mom and she said they are on their way. His mother, brother, and sister in law arrive at my house. Assuming that we are leaving soon, I start getting ready. I put in my shoes, check myself in the mirror and look a...

I worked with with this girl for almost 2 years, up until she left recently after a change in staffing. I am very self conscious of my appearances (weight) for one thing and also have never done something like this, but at this point I feel like I need to tell her because it's driving me insane. We text occasionally, I sometimes feel like she knows but other times I don't know which makes me even more scared to say something. She is in a relationship now with someone else and I have no intention of messing that up in any way, I really have even prepared myself for this to mess up my friendship with her because I feel like in my head I can't go any further with it without saying something. I don't want to do this in a way that makes her uncomfortable or in a way that makes her feel like I put her on the spot, but I really have to say something at this point. I am absolutely terrified just thinking about it right now and just need to know the best way to go about doing t...

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now, things are going really good and getting more serious as time passes. Prior to this relationship I was in a 6 year relationship, my first boyfriend, i always though that he was the person I was going to spend my life with. I loved him harrrddddd. My ex and I broke up 2 years ago now. And like I said things are going really well with my boyfriend now, but I just sometimes feel sad, or impatient because I want to love the way I did my ex. This man is deserving of all of that. It’s not that I miss my ex, at all, I just miss our like...young, innocent love. I do think I’m definitely in love with my boyfriend but I’m afraid I’ll never feel anything like that again/impatient and want to reach that extreme level of comfort after being together for years. TL;DR: I’m basically afraid I will never love my boyfriend as hard as I lovED my ex. Submitted April 19, 2019 at 05:05AM I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now, things are going really g...

I (F19) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (M20) for a few months now and everything is going great but recently he has asked a few times for my nudes. I have never been comfortable with the idea of those type of pictures of me being anywhere. This is the first relationship that I have been in sense I have become a legal adult so I cant use the law for an excuse like I did in high school. My boyfriend has been very understanding and hasn't pushed much but I fear that thats not what hes really thinking. I fully trust him but I still dont like the idea of those type of pictures of me to even exist. Is this a common way of thinking or do i have an unpopular opinion? ​ TL;DR Im not comfortable sending nudes to my BF and I was wondering this is an unpopular opinion Submitted April 19, 2019 at 05:09AM I (F19) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (M20) for a few months now and everything is going great but recently he has asked a few times for my nudes. I have...

I've gone on several dates with this guy that I met in real life (not through an app) about a year ago, in the past month. We haven't defined the relationship yet, and I don't really feel any pressure to. Right now we're enjoying each other's company, and having fun getting to know each other. We're both in our late 20s. Like I said, we've gone on four dates, and both times he was really attentive, never on his phone, and seemed like he loved being around me. And me too! I can tell that he's someone who prefers to relate to people in person rather than through technology, as he always jumps at my suggestions (or suggests himself) to hang out. However, when I text him about anything else ("how was your day?", "you'll never guess what happened today", etc) he either replies instantly or takes days and days to respond. There's no inbetween. There was a small stretch right after the whole "establishment of mutual feelings...

A while back, I had a crush on this guy. We went on a date but he rejected me. I was a little hurt, but I understood. Fast forward a few months and he and I become pretty good friends. We hang out sometimes and play video games, watch TV, etc. Now he has a thing for me, but my infatuation has worn off and I really don't like him that way anymore. I've already told him I don't want a relationship, but I kept that pretty vague - I just don't want to date him. This is probably childish, but how do I kindly let him know I'm not interested in him anymore? I'm so bad at these things. I don't want to ruin our friendship. tldr; I suck at letting people down and don't know how to reject my friend. Submitted April 19, 2019 at 05:10AM A while back, I had a crush on this guy. We went on a date but he rejected me. I was a little hurt, but I understood. Fast forward a few months and he and I become pretty good friends. We hang out sometimes and play video gam...

We've been dating for 8 months and we love each other. I've already been upset about how she's not prioritizing me as much or making me feel special, while I try my best to make her feel like the most amazing girl in the world. ​ A while ago, we were both drunk and she was telling me she loved me and I asked her how much, etc, then I asked her if she loved me more than a certain male friend (she had been going on about how he's a great guy etc) and she said no. I asked her about this and she said that have you met him? He's sweet and Ive known him for 3 years. After that she just said that you cant make a comparison it's a different kind of love. ​ I know that it isn't romantic love at all, but the fact that she said it just made me feel super crappy. I didn't bring it up again but it has been eating me up on the inside as I love this girl to bits and make sure that she knows how special and amazing she is to me. She however doesn't do that much...

Is this weird? She’s a sophomore with tons of friends (it’s actually kinda weird how many friends she has but that another thing) and I feel like she always has something to do. We have pretty much texted every day since we started hanging, but we don’t hang all that much. Sometimes she’ll invite me to something and maybe we’ll end up sleeping together after that but I don’t think I’ve ever asked her to do something. Usually we’ll be texting and she’l invite me to something. It’s only been a thing for like a month. I’m a freshman and my friends and I never really have anything to do so I pretty much can always hang if she asks. She has parties that she goes to which she’s invited me to and has so many friends. She brought up the talk about staying just casual, but we still text a lot. I personally don’t really want to be more than that. Anyway I mean I kinda want to have sex with her but I feel weird asking to hang cuz I feel like she’s always doing something. Theres not much to this ...

Hey everyone, So just straight off the bat I've never been in a relationship before. The opportunity has come up plenty of times but things just never felt 'right', or the prospect of being with someone freaked me out too much for me to feel comfortable going ahead with it. I kind of chalked it up to me being busy with school, or we just didn't 'click'; stuff like that. I do want to meet someone and ya know, find 'that person', but I just haven't found them yet. Anyway, a little while ago I went to a party and I met this guy and honestly we ended up talking all night. We both had the same interests and the same hobbies and every time one of us would bring something up the other would get super stoked and we'd both go off talking about it. It was actually really nice talking to someone about stuff most people don't care about. I was having a really nice time and he was too, and we were both a little drunk and then he asked if he could kiss ...

TL;DR: I going to study abroad and have a girlfriend how to cope with the breakup. I have been with this girl for like 1/2 a year and I really love her. while we were together I got accepted to UWCSEA, which means I have a full scholarship to study in a college in Singapore at 16. I only have 3.5 months before I go, and a long distance relationship isn’t an option. My girlfriend knew about it from the start of the applications and she was very supportive the whole time. Two weeks ago she said that we should breakup now because she loves me a lot and she wants to cope with the breakup while I am still here so we can stay friends when I am there. I disagree. I want to use the time I have in Israel to be with her and continue the relationship. Anyway we missed each other after the breakup to much and met like 3 times and continued kissing etc. but she said we need to stop being together even if it’s hard. Any advice? How to deal with this? How to not be jealous if she sees someone else?...

You're right. I know that my mother is really open towards queer people, but being asexual is a little bit different than being trans or homosexual, I guess. I don't know about my remaining family members... I'll try to avoid the term. April 19, 2019 at 07:04AM

Oh man that’s awful, I’m so sorry. If it helps, I’ve been in this situation too. It sucks. It’s taken me a while to forgive those people, and in the meantime I went and found better friends (luckily for me, I live in a big city where it’s easier to make friends). April 19, 2019 at 06:57AM

It's really unfortunate people don't believe it's not a type of sexuality. Maybe it's my naivety but I always try and give someone a ton of excuses for their ignorance. April 19, 2019 at 06:50AM

Well you win some you lose some. I’ve been called an asshole for sharing a picture of my cat so I take everything with a grain of salt around here. April 19, 2019 at 06:47AM

and this whole garbage about being asexual isn't a type of sexuality? it just reaffirms my borderline nihilism. April 19, 2019 at 06:46AM

Oh yea, I agree 100%. Don't compromise who you are! April 19, 2019 at 06:44AM

I'm a bot, bleep , bloop . Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit: [ /r/samplesize ] [Academic] Asexuality (All Welcome, esp Ace Spectrum)   If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. ( Info / Contact ) April 19, 2019 at 06:44AM

ive just now been called a cunt for my thoughts. April 19, 2019 at 06:44AM

somehow reddit fills both the ying and the yang. April 19, 2019 at 06:43AM

i feel like advertising my sexuality really takes away from my personality. and i would rather sacrifice sex than who i truly am. thank you for sharing. April 19, 2019 at 06:42AM

Not at all! There are a lot of people in your situation, more than you’d realize. You’re very welcome :3 April 19, 2019 at 06:42AM

oh my goodness, it's such a relief not to have to deal with the nuisances and the bullshit beating-around-the-bush. thank you so much. i couldn't be happier that i am not alone in this. April 19, 2019 at 06:41AM

I can feel that, I'm scared that I won't be able to keep a relationship together since I won't have that "fire" that you're supposed to have. April 19, 2019 at 06:41AM

It’s natural and nothing to be ashamed of. People can’t understand the concept of sex not being an innate need for everyone. And that’s okay. You don’t need their approval. And you don’t have to worry about being bored. Just find the right people and activities and you’re going to have a wonderful time. Been asexual throughout my life and it hasn’t stopped me from living adventurously. If anything, gets rid of the superimposed societal expectations of virginity, relationships and sex and allows me to explore a lot more options for happiness. Just find what works for you. Good luck! April 19, 2019 at 06:39AM

Done! I am also curious to see the results. April 19, 2019 at 06:35AM

Might be Miami area since most seem to be from there. Or ft Lauderdale if I get more people from Broward. Where are you located? April 19, 2019 at 06:08AM

I find it terribly ironic that a community that's supposed to promote love and acceptance also sometimes tries to pull the "we're more oppressed card". Since when is this an oppression olympics? LGBTQ+ is supposed to celebrate romantic, sexual, and gender identities that differ from the norm, but at the end of the day some people are happy to boil it down to 'systematic oppression' in order to gatekeep the community to their tastes. April 19, 2019 at 06:04AM

I’d give a hug and a head rub. I love bald headed men. But a guy with hair is awesome too. April 19, 2019 at 05:51AM

Its true, i certainly prefer a hug. April 19, 2019 at 05:50AM

They probably meant it as a consolation, not that their intentions made it okay. I'm sorry you had to go through that. <3 April 19, 2019 at 05:50AM

I love answering questions :-) be sure to update us with your results! April 19, 2019 at 05:42AM

Looking through the responses there, it seems like most people did say they'd like a hug. I know the title phrased it as though the sub were unique in preferring hugs, but showerthoughts is a pretty mainstream sub and I think it is relatively representative of the average group of people. April 19, 2019 at 05:41AM

It helps. Source: me. And I have a hard time believing that you have multiple trans friends saying that hormones didn't help. According to most studies that's just 1-2% of trans people. April 19, 2019 at 05:34AM

do they? i am new to asexuality. April 19, 2019 at 05:22AM

Coz the g in lgbt stands for Gatekeeper April 19, 2019 at 05:17AM

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I've been friends with this person for around 5 (?) years. Things were okay back when we were in high school, but I guess the discrepancy between our level of understanding towards the closeness of our friendship has already taken its roots back then (for example, she thought of me as a close sister while this idea has never ever come across my mind.) Soon after we have entered university, she started seeing psychiatrists due to her problems with anxiety and/or depression (not quite yet diagnosed). She told me of those and I tried to be as supportive as possible -- from checking on her regularly on IM to talking her out of her suicidal thoughts or just anything that bothers her. Yet this year or so I feel like I've been treated as more like a counsellor rather than a friend, ie. I was only called for when help is required. Recently, she felt better and more motivated, and I could sense that she wanted to rekindle our friendship. My attitude towards our relationship was still...

So this is gonna be a long one I've had alot of time to think about it. So at the time when I was 18 I was hiking this trail called the Appalachian trail it's 2186 miles and it took me six months to walk completely. Its been a dream of mine and I saved up every penny since I was 13 it was extremely important to me that I complete it.I am an extremely extraverted person I absolutely need to be around people and interact. Well as it happened I got stuck walking by myself for a few months and frankly it nearly broke my soul it that aspect of the trip was terrifying. But then I saw this girl well call her Angel well when I say she has the total package Its an understatement she is smart funny a blast to be around tough compassionate ambitious hard working adventures easy to talk to and very enjoyable to converse with her and very Silly and on top of all that she is like an gourgous and I never saw her dressed up or in any makup or anything like that well as it happens we wound up ...

We've been friends for about a week, but I think of her so much more than she realizes. I've never really been in a relationship so I do not know how to reveal my feelings and how to actually bring our friendship to the next level. I've tried getting closer by just chatting and actually getting to know her, but I am always the one to start a conversation. Due to this, I am getting the impression that I am getting friend zoned, but I am really uneducated in this, oof. Right now, I am just taking it slow and being as nice as I can with some small talk, hoping for her to like me (this likely won't work), but I really don't know what else to do. Does anyone mind giving me some advice to help me start our relationship? Thank you! tl;dr: I do not know how to take my friendly relationship into a more passionate relationship. Submitted April 19, 2019 at 05:52AM We've been friends for about a week, but I think of her so much more than she realizes. I've ne...

My mother (61 yrs old) has had health issues and a myriad of mental health issues for much of my life. She is type 1 diabetic and 5 months ago was found unconscious with an extremely high blood sugar. She was hospitalized for two weeks as doctors were concerned there might be some sort of neurological effect. She was released from the hospital w no real diagnosis but ever since has shown extremely erratic and strange behavior. She has had weird problems with her memory, fits of catatonia where she will stop moving and speaking, and has been especially emotional. I suspected a stroke but tests couldn't find any evidence. Additionally she has had an even harder time regulating her blood sugar and has been hospitalized a few times since for such problems. All of my mother's care falls on my grandmother (her mom). I am my mom's only child and after a verbally, emotionally and physically abusive upbringing I have kept my mother at a distance. Short superficial phone calls and ...

My friend and I met while we were both traveling and spent a lot of time together on the trip. A few months later, I confessed that I regretted not making a move. To my surprise, he revealed that he was into me, but wasn't sure how I felt. We even went as far as joking about getting married. It's been five years now and we've kept in contact despite being in different countries and each of us being in and out of relationships. So far, he's been the only guy I've met that I was instantly attracted to, and as much as I try to suppress the crush, I find that my feelings keep redeveloping. We are talking about planning a trip together, too. I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they handled it. TL;DR: Have feelings for a long distance friend and I'm wondering if it's even worth mentioning to him at all. Thanks in advance! Submitted April 19, 2019 at 06:00AM My friend and I met while we were both traveling and spent a lot o...

So I'm 17, I've been in 2 relationships and I've noticed a pattern where I avoid physical contact even though I love the person. The latest relationship actually ended mostly because the person always had a doubt whether or not I actually love him. He always said that I avoided eye contact, etc., and i get frustrated sometimes because i didn't mean to avoid him at all, he kept asking me " do you actually love me?" And i do, i really do, but he never believed me. In those 2 relationships, as I previously said, I avoid physical contact like the first time I gave a handjob, I gagged, he didn't realize it but I kind of feel ashamed. Also, when I'm in a relationship with someone, I get quiet to the other person like I feel more comfortable with them when there's no label. So this led to me being more expressive to my friends (even guy friends) but to my boyfriend I'm so passive, so he would get jealous which is not his fault, definitely my fault, b...

Hey, i'm seeking for answers and help here. CONTEXT : My girlfriend and I been together for 4 month, in a mid-distance relationship. We're seeing each other everyweek, 2 weeks. Sex is good, she's very attentionate, gives me a lot of affection, and so do I. We had until now an almost perfect relationship objectivly (her words), loving and trusting each other, with no routine etc. However recently i felt that something was wrong and I was a bit worried, she got distant even tho last weekend we were so close and she even told me that she wanted to make our relationship last and talk about me to her parents. Great ! Right ? But as I said since monday, she became a bit distant and I felt something was off. I didn't do anything wrong, she would've told me. We didn't text much, I was often initiating and pushing the discussion, it feels awful. I was tired of always initiating so i felt like i should give her Space and let her Come first. Yesterday when we didn't...

Ok y’all. I’m pretty overweight and not very cute. I’m also black. I personally find black beautiful but I’m aware that many don’t which is why I’m adding it to my description. This really fit, cute blond hair blue eyed girl asked me out on Bumble. I’m really puzzled. What does she want with me? She has a great body while I’m pretty flabby. The whole thing is just fucking with me. I still should go on the date seeing as I’m turning 24 and have never kissed a soul but yeah I’ve just been really putting myself down. I have no idea what she would want with me. TL;DR: Help me out here please. I have a hard time believing that she could actually want me. Submitted April 19, 2019 at 06:12AM Ok y’all. I’m pretty overweight and not very cute. I’m also black. I personally find black beautiful but I’m aware that many don’t which is why I’m adding it to my description.This really fit, cute blond hair blue eyed girl asked me out on Bumble. I’m really puzzled. What does she want with me?...

Hi, this is a throwaway account as this is something really private to me, and I would like to seek help. I'm 23F. When I was 17, my sister (4 years older) had a series of mental breakdowns and I witnessed many of those. I was not mentally and emotionally ready to handle them, and the amount of negativity I saw made me close off completely from my family. It was a coping mechanism for me, because whenever I saw her cry I felt like crying too, but I told myself that I cannot break down, else it'll be complete chaos in the home. I saw myself to be the 'strong' one in the family. Unfortunately 5 years later I am still unable to open up to my family. I can't meet their eyes, I can't really form coherent sentences around them, I can't hold a conversation with them. I feel guilt, I am upset with myself. But emotional expressions are not supported in my family... and I do not know how to express them. My father has been trying to tell me that my mother is very ...