[37m] Divorce is mere days from being final. Will need to start putting myself out there at some point. I have zero experience with adult dating - what should I expect?

I'm not even sure how to frame this question.

I was married for 9 years to my HS sweetheart. She left me for a guy she was having an affair with. All divorce sucks, but despite the affair, our divorce has at least been amicable (no kids involved), and it's about to be final. And I know this is a dating sub, not a divorce sub, so I'll leave it at that.

I know I'm going to need to start putting myself out there. I don't want to do it before I'm ready and bring a ton of baggage with me, but I also have absolutely no idea what adult dating is like outside of the movies. I imagine dating sites will be involved.

I guess I'd just like to have some idea of what to expect.

I'm 6' tall, my BMI is 21.7, I have a mostly symmetrical face and I still have my hair. I have a good job (middle class white collar), own a nice house in the burbs, and have a cool dog. I have a good (but not weird) relationship with my mom and like women. I also play guitar in a band. And I'm scared shitless.

I'm self-aware enough to recognize my shortcomings, which given my recent history, includes a little bit of.. I don't know, I don't want to say trust issues. Maybe a fear of abandonment? At any rate, I might be a little damaged, but I'm aware enough to recognize that and try not to let it boil over into my behavior. And I also know that when I do start dating, it needs to be about looking forward and not bringing up or focusing on my ex. I'm happy to be honest about my past, but I don't expect a woman to have to hurdle it to get close to me.

Really I guess I just need to know.. what's the scene like at this age? Is casual dating OK? Is it still really superficial like it is as a younger person? How much is about people's kids? I'm not sure I want them, I don't really know where I fall there. Is that a huge red flag? What pitfalls should I avoid?

I'm like a little baby here, haha. Sorry for rambling. It's just been a taxing day and I'm trying to figure out what my future even looks like. I might be selfishly seeking some validation. Feel free to disabuse me of my delusions. I probably need it.

this is me

this is me being helped out quite a bit by the dog



Submitted April 19, 2019 at 03:28AM

I'm not even sure how to frame this question.I was married for 9 years to my HS sweetheart. She left me for a guy she was having an affair with. All divorce sucks, but despite the affair, our divorce has at least been amicable (no kids involved), and it's about to be final. And I know this is a dating sub, not a divorce sub, so I'll leave it at that.I know I'm going to need to start putting myself out there. I don't want to do it before I'm ready and bring a ton of baggage with me, but I also have absolutely no idea what adult dating is like outside of the movies. I imagine dating sites will be involved.I guess I'd just like to have some idea of what to expect.I'm 6' tall, my BMI is 21.7, I have a mostly symmetrical face and I still have my hair. I have a good job (middle class white collar), own a nice house in the burbs, and have a cool dog. I have a good (but not weird) relationship with my mom and like women. I also play guitar in a band. And I'm scared shitless.I'm self-aware enough to recognize my shortcomings, which given my recent history, includes a little bit of.. I don't know, I don't want to say trust issues. Maybe a fear of abandonment? At any rate, I might be a little damaged, but I'm aware enough to recognize that and try not to let it boil over into my behavior. And I also know that when I do start dating, it needs to be about looking forward and not bringing up or focusing on my ex. I'm happy to be honest about my past, but I don't expect a woman to have to hurdle it to get close to me.Really I guess I just need to know.. what's the scene like at this age? Is casual dating OK? Is it still really superficial like it is as a younger person? How much is about people's kids? I'm not sure I want them, I don't really know where I fall there. Is that a huge red flag? What pitfalls should I avoid?I'm like a little baby here, haha. Sorry for rambling. It's just been a taxing day and I'm trying to figure out what my future even looks like. I might be selfishly seeking some validation. Feel free to disabuse me of my delusions. I probably need it.this is methis is me being helped out quite a bit by the dog
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