Me [22 F] and this guy [23 M] get along great and have a lot in common, but I just don't feel anything for him.

Hey everyone,

So just straight off the bat I've never been in a relationship before. The opportunity has come up plenty of times but things just never felt 'right', or the prospect of being with someone freaked me out too much for me to feel comfortable going ahead with it. I kind of chalked it up to me being busy with school, or we just didn't 'click'; stuff like that. I do want to meet someone and ya know, find 'that person', but I just haven't found them yet.

Anyway, a little while ago I went to a party and I met this guy and honestly we ended up talking all night. We both had the same interests and the same hobbies and every time one of us would bring something up the other would get super stoked and we'd both go off talking about it. It was actually really nice talking to someone about stuff most people don't care about. I was having a really nice time and he was too, and we were both a little drunk and then he asked if he could kiss me. It took me a little by surprise because the idea never crossed my mind, but we kissed and it was nice.

Afterwards I felt a little conflicted. I really liked talking to him and hanging out with him, and obviously we have a lot in common, but the entire time I never really got any feelings towards him. I just felt like I was talking to a really good friend, and nothing sexual with him ever crossed my mind, but obviously it occurred to him. I just didn't feel anything like that for him though, unfortunately.

I hung out with him again to see if maybe those feelings would come, and we kissed again, but there was just nothing. The conversation flows like no tomorrow and he's a really awesome guy, and he made it abundantly clear he was into me, but I just don't have feelings for him.

I have had crushes on guys before, so I do know I'm into guys and that I'm capable of developing feelings for people and being attracted to people, but I've never been in any serious relationship type thing before, or even really dated, so I don't know exactly how it all works. Do people feel an initial attraction usually? Do feelings develop over time? Is this guy maybe just not the guy for me? I don't know.

I don't know if maybe I'm scared of this new thing and that's why I don't have feelings for him. Or maybe that I just straight up see him as a friend; most of my friends are male because of what I'm studying, so it could be that I'm just used to seeing guys as friends. He's a good looking guy in my opinion too, so it's not that I don't find him physically attractive.

I just feel bad about the whole situation, we really do click so well and we have all the same interests and hobbies, but there's just no 'spark' there, so to say. Obviously he feels it, but I don't, and I don't know if this is typical or if I should just go with it, or if I should just accept I don't have feelings for him and move on.

Any insight or advice or anything would be appreciated.

Thanks :)

TL:DR Me and this guy get along really well and have the same interests and hobbies; he's into me but I don't feel anything for him. Is this typical? Do feelings develop over time or should I accept I don't feel anything for him and move on?



Submitted April 19, 2019 at 07:06AM

Hey everyone,So just straight off the bat I've never been in a relationship before. The opportunity has come up plenty of times but things just never felt 'right', or the prospect of being with someone freaked me out too much for me to feel comfortable going ahead with it. I kind of chalked it up to me being busy with school, or we just didn't 'click'; stuff like that. I do want to meet someone and ya know, find 'that person', but I just haven't found them yet.Anyway, a little while ago I went to a party and I met this guy and honestly we ended up talking all night. We both had the same interests and the same hobbies and every time one of us would bring something up the other would get super stoked and we'd both go off talking about it. It was actually really nice talking to someone about stuff most people don't care about. I was having a really nice time and he was too, and we were both a little drunk and then he asked if he could kiss me. It took me a little by surprise because the idea never crossed my mind, but we kissed and it was nice.Afterwards I felt a little conflicted. I really liked talking to him and hanging out with him, and obviously we have a lot in common, but the entire time I never really got any feelings towards him. I just felt like I was talking to a really good friend, and nothing sexual with him ever crossed my mind, but obviously it occurred to him. I just didn't feel anything like that for him though, unfortunately.I hung out with him again to see if maybe those feelings would come, and we kissed again, but there was just nothing. The conversation flows like no tomorrow and he's a really awesome guy, and he made it abundantly clear he was into me, but I just don't have feelings for him.I have had crushes on guys before, so I do know I'm into guys and that I'm capable of developing feelings for people and being attracted to people, but I've never been in any serious relationship type thing before, or even really dated, so I don't know exactly how it all works. Do people feel an initial attraction usually? Do feelings develop over time? Is this guy maybe just not the guy for me? I don't know.I don't know if maybe I'm scared of this new thing and that's why I don't have feelings for him. Or maybe that I just straight up see him as a friend; most of my friends are male because of what I'm studying, so it could be that I'm just used to seeing guys as friends. He's a good looking guy in my opinion too, so it's not that I don't find him physically attractive.I just feel bad about the whole situation, we really do click so well and we have all the same interests and hobbies, but there's just no 'spark' there, so to say. Obviously he feels it, but I don't, and I don't know if this is typical or if I should just go with it, or if I should just accept I don't have feelings for him and move on.Any insight or advice or anything would be appreciated.Thanks :)TL:DR Me and this guy get along really well and have the same interests and hobbies; he's into me but I don't feel anything for him. Is this typical? Do feelings develop over time or should I accept I don't feel anything for him and move on?
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