I personally relate to this quite a bit. Still "new" to the scene. I consider myself very romantic as well and have only some idea on what I want from a relationship and have no clue about how to go about actually getting a girlfriend. March 16, 2021 at 12:03AM

Based on your OP you said you may be asexual, but aren't certain. Also you say the sex is meh. If you think you may be asexual, I would try seeing if you have a support group at your university. Determine if you are LL or asexual and what type (sex favorable, sex neutral, sex repulsed) you are before telling you SO. Technically asexually is not feeling sexual attraction. You may be allosexual or asexual and still don't initiate (responsive sexual desire) or enjoy sex. Read up on asexuality in the about tab of this sub. Very informative Read up on response I've sexual desire by Nagoski. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/when-urge-is-uneven-understanding-universe-of-sexual-desire-0206185 Read up on how to have better sex. Both allosexuals and asexuals can have good or bad sex. There is a link or female and male virgins as well as for better sex. https://moderntantra.blogspot.com/2017/12/better-sex-101.html?m=1 I hope these resources as well as resources at you

That's okay if you don't know for sure! Asexuals can still enjoy sex, it's just the attraction that isn't there (although you could totally still be romantically attracted). You might want to do some reading on it if you think that asexuality is a possibility. Or if you feel more like it is sexual attraction, then that's fine too! It's normal to be unsure of what exactly you're feeling, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. In the meantime, it sounds like you're already in a happy relationship, so I wouldn't worry too much about any uncertainty you have. March 16, 2021 at 12:03AM

I agree, a naked person is like a naked mannequin to me: where's the imagination? What's the point? I know what people look like naked, it's not particularly interesting or novel since I don't get the sexual thoughts that usually make them enticing for allos. However, even things like swimwear or highly, impractically skimpy clothing, things some allos might prefer to complete nudity, still are kinda boring to me, because (I'm guessing here) for them, they cover up the "enticing parts" to leave them to their imagination and fantasy, while for me, all I see is a conveniently covered naked person with just a little style. There are some swimwear that can kinda appeal to me if they're interesting enough, but they're usually leagues behind things like tuxedos, uniforms, dresses, casual wear, things that really win me over, where actual style can be implemented. For me, my aesthetic attraction is half-the outfit, half-the person wearing it. I'm no

Trans women are REAL women. That's just how that is. This conversation is very pointless and we're going in circles, I'm going to go ahead and end it with this: In another comment to someone else, you mentioned hating Trump, does that mean you also hate trump supporters? Your certainly acting like them right now, "This is a fact" "well, actually no, it's not" "I'm going to ignore what you just said and keep pretending I know what I'm talking about, yay!" I believe the right word to describe you would be Ignorant. I hate to break it to you, but no, Homosexuals are not more likely to be pedophiles, I disproved that with factual evidence in an earlier comment. If you can't accept that you were wrong, and that facts don't lie, you're no different from crazy trump supporters that are insisting that the world is stupid for thinking Biden won the US election. Thats all. Have a nice day. March 15, 2021 at 11:59PM

The sooner you tell your partner the better. Otherwise it can start feeling like you're not being honest to her. Say it in a really nice way and make sure to say what she means to you. That way you can let her know that you are not rejecting the relationship but mainly trying to set boundaries and be honest with her about the way you feel. March 15, 2021 at 11:59PM

Sorry For the late response! I suppose it is totally possible that what I thought was sexual attraction is just romantic attraction. but I think it is sexual attraction too because I think I like the idea of having sex with him I'm just not super interested in actually doing it? March 15, 2021 at 11:57PM

Maybe this could be your SEALmate March 15, 2021 at 11:56PM

That is brilliant. I am amused. March 15, 2021 at 11:50PM

one way I've found to explain being ace to folks who just don't get it is to say something like, "you like boys right? but you don't like girls. I don't like girls OR boys." explaining asexuality in a way that puts the other person as the focus can help get their head around it. March 15, 2021 at 11:48PM

I'm also grey-ace who's only been in hetero relationships and I feel for you. You have found a good community to confide in. March 15, 2021 at 11:45PM

I'm not heteroromantic but I am 100% sex repulsed, I tell people up front that I am not interested in and will never be willing to have sex. Tell them up front that that's that and it'll never change, and if there's ever a point they think it might that's their fault and their problem. And if anyone tries to push boundaries that you've already previously set, dump them. March 15, 2021 at 11:44PM

that’s fair, i’ll do that March 15, 2021 at 11:43PM

awwwhh. I love you more! March 15, 2021 at 11:43PM

Yes! From my understanding intrusive thoughts are actually usually about things you DON'T want and things you're afraid of, so at least for me it's just my brain dealing with all the guilt I feel because I know I "should" want that and my worrying that's what my partner/crush would want. Basically, I'm pretty sure intrusive thoughts are just your brain crushing all your anxieties into a confusing indecipherable crumpled ball and then tossing it full force right at your face. March 15, 2021 at 11:39PM

I need that shirt. March 15, 2021 at 11:36PM

I haven't personally had positive experiences in relationships with allos either, but I definitely think that his past relationship is a good sign. I know some allos think they'll be okay with it but then aren't, like your ex, but since he's had a non-sexual relationship before he should know if it was going to be a problem. Sounds like it wasn't. I've heard stories online (I've been lurking around ace forums for like six years so I've seen lots of stories 😅) from other aces about having long, happy relationships with allos so it must be possible! I don't know this guy, obviously, but in my personal opinion I think if you want to, you should go for it. He sounds like he's good at respecting boundaries and communicating, from what you've said, and those are both very important for making something like this work. As long as you're both open and communicate about things like boundaries and needs in the relationship, it sounds like you co

I don't think it's weird~ I feel the same, haha March 15, 2021 at 11:31PM

Not you describing my style over the years 😳. I didn't know it was an asexual thing. March 15, 2021 at 11:24PM

Trans women are NOT women. Get that through your head or the real women will get it through- with blunt instruments if you are that effing dense. They are men pretending to be women invading women's safe spaces and threatening their right to exist. While it is harmless for a woman to pretend to be a man, for you to suggest that trans women are "real" women is a betrayal of your gender and your sisters will be happy to set you straight on that fact. Separately from that, a person might claim to be gay or straight or pedo or something they invented. But nobody wants to hear about it in the first place, so it's just rude and offensive. Again, what there is NO debate about is the fact that trans women are fake women and dangerous to women, children, men, animals and inanimate objects. When these "women" experience threats and the carrying out of these threats, it is their own doing when they receive the appropriate response to their sexual harassment and assaul

I've never seen anyone in the wild wearing one, but hopefully one day. That said, I'd probably be too awkward and not ask about it.... Havnt thought that far yet March 15, 2021 at 11:14PM

Bodies are weird looking. March 15, 2021 at 11:14PM

I mean, on the website you mentioned, “does the dog die”, there is a category for sexual content March 15, 2021 at 11:12PM