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Showing posts from December 19, 2019

My BF is breaking up with me because of depression and anxiety

My BF (27m) and I have been dating for a little less than a year. Honestly, it was all great. We'd had issues, but nothing big and we really care for each other. Lately, I (24f) have been having some personal issues: my family is conflictive so I avoid them, I reported my ex-roommate because he beat up his gf, doing my grad school applications, shit job, etc. In other words, I have not been having a blast, but none of these issues directly affected my BF or our relationship. But, especially the problem with my ex-roommate really affected my BF. He became nervous and scared for my safety, he even had a panic attack. I've been trying to reassure him that I'm okay, but I didn't want to minimize the issue either, so I was honest (the guy I reported is violent and knows where I work). Two weeks ago, my MIL arrived for the Holiday season and is staying at my BF's. So he got added stress from her mom being around (she's nice, but a handful). Last Sunday, my BF invi...

My (25F) SO (29M) And I Are Spending Our First Christmas Alone And We Don't Know What To Do

We've been dating long distance for 3 years now and every Christmas has been all about his family. I don't mind, but I'm pretty shy around them. We finally get to have our own solo just us Christmas and New Years where we'll be alone together for 11 days. I am psyched. We've talked about baking and cooking so far, but not sure what else to do. We're gamers, but it gets old for me to sink that much time into gaming after awhile. ​ TL;DR : What should we do with our time for 11 days? We'll be about 2 hours from Portland OR and neither of us mind driving long distances. I'm open to virtually anything! Any ideas? ​ (Forgive me if this is the wrong place to post this... Still sort of new to posting on reddit.) Submitted December 20, 2019 at 12:17AM We've been dating long distance for 3 years now and every Christmas has been all about his family. I don't mind, but I'm pretty shy around them.We finally get to have our own solo just us Ch...

I [20M] am having a hard time dealing with my girlfriend [18F] being away at college. Advice?

Hi all, My girlfriend and I have been dating now for nearly 5 years, and up until this point our relationship has been rock solid. Transitioning to a long distance relationship has made things more difficult for us though. My girlfriend is a very friendly person, and as such she has always had many friends, who in the past have mostly been girls save a select few. Now that she is off to college, she has a male friend (ill call him J) who she seems to be around very frequently. As her boyfriend, I originally had a problem when she told me she went Ice skating with J. To me this seemed to be a bit odd, and I told her it is something I would never do alone with another girl, as it has that stigma of being a romantic activity. She told me it wasn't like that, and that seemed to be that. From this point on, I have found that whenever she does anything involving J, I am less likely to hear about it, and even less likely to hear that J is involved, unless I pry that information out o...

I (35M) Need advice if I should say something to my (33F) "Ex"

I want to keep this semi-short. This girl and I had been seeing each other for about 3 months but no label had ever been put on it. I did a ton of sweet things for her (flowers, breakfast in bed, etc) She also did nice things for me (Good morning texts, massages, etc) Before the split I could tell something was weird but I went to see her anyway, I arrived and we had a casual conversation up until I said something about how I have her and she makes me happy, her face just went pale. I asked her what was going on and she told me she just doesn't feel the same as she used to about me. After a bit of talking I left. She told me she still wants to be friends and I'm a great guy... I have thought about it over the days that have gone by and want to send her a message that is close to what follows. Need to know if it would be a terrible idea. Hey, I wanted to let you know that I'm still not sure how I feel about things. I'm confused, but I understand that your feelings cha...

My (27f) work says I'm too quiet

I work in a large corporate company and I've been there about a year and a half. The way my contract works is I do five rotations of 4 months in different teams and eventually one of the teams chooses you, so it's basically a very long job interview. You're always out to impress your boss (who you share an office with and sees and hears everything you do). Everyone is more senior than I am and I report to all of them. I am very introverted. I tend to be quite serious in what I end up talking about and I'm crap at 'what did you do at the weekend' conversations because I feel like I dont really do things that would interest other people, or they'd think I was weird. I'm also gay and not out at work, so that doesn't help. Basically my work has said I dont chat enough and I dont make an effort enough to make friends. I need to let people 'get to know me' but tbh I really dont want to. I'm fine making a bit of conversation here and there bu...

Why she isn't responding to your texts

My client (I work as a dating coach) showed me what he texted to his date and asked "Why didn't she respond?.. Did I do something wrong?" He had a date with her a few days ago and texted her later on in the evening after the date was over but never got a text back. The text that he had sent was "I had a great time with you and I'm looking forward to see you again". He was afraid that his text was maybe too pushy, boring or nice. I had to tell him that even though his text was boring and didn't stand out, the real reason why he didn't get a text back was something else. If you went on a first date and didn't get a text back then it was not about the texts. It never is. Submitted December 19, 2019 at 11:31PM My client (I work as a dating coach) showed me what he texted to his date and asked "Why didn't she respond?.. Did I do something wrong?"He had a date with her a few days ago and texted her later on in the evening aft...

On The Doubt Of Love

Hey, first time on this sub, and I'm here to get you guys' advice. So, I was with a girl that I met in college for 5 years with no interruptions or drama in between. It wasn't always great because our personalities clashed on some specific details, but all in all I was a happy dude with a nice girlfriend. This last year though, the relationship just wasn't the same, at least for me. We started to argue a little bit more than was normal and we didn't talk much besides the topics of work and activites we were doing. We still went to a lot of places, cultural events, etc. This September I went on and got back to college to start my master's degree , after working for a couple of years after graduating. All went well in the beginning, I even had a friend from my bachelor's class going to the same seminars as me so we easily connected with other people, including this one girl that is the main point of this post. I met, let's call her Sophie, in the 1st we...

Im scared of getting an STI from kissing

I also posted this on r/sex because I didn’t know where it would be better to post. I (15F) have been in a relationship for almost two months now, and my (15M) boyfriend and I still haven’t had our first kiss. I’m gonna have him come over during winter break, and I’m really hoping that we will finally kiss then. The thing is, Im in the sex education unit in health, and we are currently learning about STIs. We learned that kissing is usually safe, but today we learned about syphilis, and how it can be transmitted through open sores. My boyfriend and I talk about sex and all that stuff all the time, but it’s never about us having it. Although he honestly makes a lot of hints that he wants to smash, and I find it very flattering, but I don’t actually think he’s gonna do anything. And if he does, then I’m gonna tell him I’m not ready. However, I do want to kiss. I’ve been fantasizing about kissing him for ages, and now I really want it to happen, but now that I learned this info in m...

He [25M] says he wants something casual with me [23F] but is inconsistent and hasn't tried having sex with me

I met him on a dating app a few months ago, we had a kind of awkward date (he was clearly the shy type, a bit anxious, but I still liked him), that ended in making out in my car. After the date he sent the first text saying he had fun, but then when I said we should see each other again, he turned me down citing a lack of connection. A few months later, we unexpectedly match again and he tells me that the reason he rejected at first was because he was looking for something casual and assumed I wouldn't be up for that. I told him that wasn't necessarily true and we could give it another try. We went on another date a few weeks ago, we got lunch but then when he walked me back to my car, he asked if I wanted to make out again. It went a little farther but still nothing close to sex. I asked him before we started making out if his place was an option (he only lived ~10 minutes away), but he said it wasn't a good time and there were some people over. Additionally I live at hom...

/u/Knight-Jack on You're breathtaking!

This is how it often works though! Like with my gender, I knew I wasn't a girl and I knew that since I was like 5. But I didn't have a penis and everyone told me that means I must be a girl and I just shrugged and figured they know what they're talking about, right? They're older, more experienced. Then, in my teenage years, I heard about trans people, and I thought "huh, maybe I'm a guy then?", but no, I wasn't a guy either, so I just shrugged again and figured there must be something wrong with me. And then I came across "Chaos Life" online comic and one of the characters described themselves as an agender and I was like "WAIT, that's a THING?!". I was in my twenties when I found a word for that. A lot of us know, we just don't know how to put it in words. That's the miracle of internet, isn't it. Shared knowledge everywhere. December 20, 2019 at 12:21AM

/u/OverhaulMyLife on Do other romantic aces here have "a type" ?

I definitely have a type. Though I don’t think for any romantic partners it’s a physical type? More like a personality type I’d say. Overall nerdy I’d say, video games, comics, anime, music. Though there is definitely an aesthetic that’s my type. I’m not sure how to explain it besides listing people, so: Im Jabeom, Josh Katz, Mitchell Cave, Im Changkyun, Kang Younghyun, Megan Bülow, Denzel Curry. December 20, 2019 at 12:21AM

/u/stopcounting on I explained Asexuality to one of my friends

Oh man I'm in this picture and I don't know if I like it December 20, 2019 at 12:19AM

/u/Knight-Jack on Sometimes I'm just too tired for this

It's always so nice to see people from the other side of the fence throw their penny in. Bless your kind heart for leaving this comment. December 20, 2019 at 12:17AM

/u/Knight-Jack on Sometimes I'm just too tired for this

I think for them thinking "when you were when you were a kid" means degrading asexuals to the innocent, child-like state, and when we come out to them they often already know us, they know we're experienced, smart, intelligent, grown up... we even say dirty jokes! and laugh at them! that's not child-like behaviour! So they might having a hard time putting us in a mould that we just doesn't seem to fit into. Hence the "you just haven't found the right person yet!" (you're an adult, you're supposed to approach this issue like an adult, come on! every adult wants sex!), or "you're just a prude", or shit like that. It's less about us, but more about them trying to figure out how do we fit in their world's description. The less accommodating and understanding they seem, the more they fail, so they try to make it seem like it's our fault. Cause it couldn't be theirs, could it? December 20, 2019 at 12:16AM

/u/themissingpen on Has anyone else struggled with feeling broken?

Yes! Thank you so much for asking this question! I've just recently started to venture into this sub and accept myself and stop denying my feelings, thinking that it'll just change one day. This is exactly how I've felt my entire life. Broken. I honestly don't even like kissing, though I'll do it to make my partners happy, and to maintain a feeling of intimacy. I hate tampons. Anyone or anything even approaching my genitals honestly just feels... Wrong. Makes me cry uncontrollably and I have never figured out why. Even looking at them makes me feel gross, and I do not feel trans in any way. I've always felt broken and like less of a woman because of this, and alone in that, esp. in college, but fuck thank you for showing me I'm not. December 20, 2019 at 12:14AM

/u/turtlehollow on Finding Platonic (Dom/sub or vanilla) Relationships

There is a very slanted ratio between sub guys who want dom girls vs dom girls who want sub guys. What you're offering is very much in demand. Of course many, maybe most, of those guys will not be interested without the option for PIV sex, all you can do is state it as a firm boundary, and let them decide if they are okay with it. Whether or not the relationship is romantic in nature is up to both of your preferences and chemistry. I actually just thought of a potential untapped market. You know how many people in relationships have unfulfilled kinks? Things they cannot get from their partner because their partner has no interest? If that couple is looking for an open relationship, you offer a much less threatening option for his relationship than someone who will offer him both his kink and the kind of sex him and his partner share. December 20, 2019 at 12:12AM

/u/Terrorizer_112 on My ace ring finally came in the mail!! :D

I have to wait til Christmas to get mine. Feelsbadyetgood December 20, 2019 at 12:03AM

I thought it would be hot to call my pussy my “little duck” during sex 😐

He was hitting it from the back and I said something like “I love that cock pounding my little duck” and as soon as that escaped my mouth I knew it was a vibe killer. He said “your duck?” and I was like “...yeah” and he just said “Oh”. God why did I think that would be sexy in any way. Submitted December 19, 2019 at 11:51PM He was hitting it from the back and I said something like “I love that cock pounding my little duck” and as soon as that escaped my mouth I knew it was a vibe killer. He said “your duck?” and I was like “...yeah” and he just said “Oh”. God why did I think that would be sexy in any way.

Resolved myself that my FWB won’t be my BF. Sigh. I wish my chronic self esteem would go away.

I’ve been FWB with a guy for a number of months. He asked me to watch Joker with him but we never set a date despite me softly prompting. I said on Monday it was a good film but I would want to watch it again, so reply until today. I however reassessed the situation and realised that he doesn’t want a relationship, he never messages me first and to just move on. Tonight he messaged me hoping my Christmas preparations were going well and that he was away for Christmas and then away on business for a few weeks but we could watch the film after. I just replied saying the film is no longer shown (which it isn’t). He said there would be other films. I said something stupid like ‘new year, new me’. I’ve deleted the convo but it went something like that. I should remember he’s not interested in me other than casual sex. I need more self esteem. I also have no friends which is stopping me from having a good self esteem . Submitted December 19, 2019 at 11:55PM I’ve been FWB with a guy...

I feel like my body has to be perfect for me to be in the mood.

My husband and I have a wonderfully active sex life, but more and more I feel like self conciseness about my body dampens my libido. It’s just cosmetic concerns about my vagina. I prefer a smooth pussy, and I try to keep it as smooth as possible. My husband loves it. He loves it any way really, even if I’ve missed a few days. But I don’t. And I’m miserable when I shave it and it leaves bumps. I know this is my fault for poor shaving technique, but I’ve tried everything. I use fresh razors, conditioner + cream, and after shave tonic. But I still hate seeing those unsightly bumps. My husband has never been bothered by them, he always tells me it’s beautiful and he loves looking at and tasting it. It’s just me. I work myself up and feel angry and irritated. It doesn’t help that I love the female body, and spend a lot of time looking at nude women with perfect pussies with not a bump in sight. I know it’s not a big deal, but that doesn’t stop my feelings. I just wish I could stop being...

Is it possible for to cum a little bit, then alot a few minutes apart

Basically the title I was having sex with my girlfriend today. We go without protection (stupid, I know). During sex, I felt a rush around my penis. I couldn't tell if it was from my penis or around it. I immediately pull out, think maybe I cummed. After a few minutes of no sex, I proceeded to masturbate for a few minutes and then ejaculated a notable load (more so than usual). I am curious if it's possible to cum a little bit, not have sex for about max 10 minutes, and then cum? Or was it possibly precum or something else I felt during sex? Submitted December 20, 2019 at 12:11AM Basically the titleI was having sex with my girlfriend today. We go without protection (stupid, I know). During sex, I felt a rush around my penis. I couldn't tell if it was from my penis or around it. I immediately pull out, think maybe I cummed. After a few minutes of no sex, I proceeded to masturbate for a few minutes and then ejaculated a notable load (more so than usual).I am curious ...

If an ex wanted to get back together, is your sexual history during the breakup any of their business?

My ex and I have been broken up for about 4 months now and we’ve reconnected in the past few days. I don’t know for sure but I think he’s going to ask me to get back together. We had a long chat the other night (unfortunately we were both drunk and it’s all quite a blur) and he asked me if I’ve been with anyone since we’ve broken up, which I have. I told him that I did but I lied about the way I met the guy. (Told him he was a friend of a friend when I actually met him on Bumble). I don’t know why I lied but now I feel physically sick with guilt. There were other things that happened while we were apart as well and I feel as though having left them out was technically lying but I also feel like it’s none of his business. We were/are truly broken up, not “on a break” or anything like that, and I know I did not actually do anything wrong (minus the aforementioned lie) but I don’t know if he’d change his mind about wanting to be together if he knew everything. He hasn’t been with anyone ...

I’m ftm and looking for sex toys.

To add some context I’m a top pre everything and wanted a good toy for jerking of or using on my bf that I can get pleasure from. I’m primarily looking for a semi realistic dildo with maybe a vibrator on the end that can go in me. I want to feel everything and not just feel like I’m using a strap on. I have a vibrator and a strap on and sometimes I’ll put the vibrator under the harness but it can move or slip easily. Any ideas for a decent toy? Submitted December 20, 2019 at 12:17AM To add some context I’m a top pre everything and wanted a good toy for jerking of or using on my bf that I can get pleasure from. I’m primarily looking for a semi realistic dildo with maybe a vibrator on the end that can go in me. I want to feel everything and not just feel like I’m using a strap on. I have a vibrator and a strap on and sometimes I’ll put the vibrator under the harness but it can move or slip easily. Any ideas for a decent toy?