On The Doubt Of Love

Hey, first time on this sub, and I'm here to get you guys' advice.

So, I was with a girl that I met in college for 5 years with no interruptions or drama in between. It wasn't always great because our personalities clashed on some specific details, but all in all I was a happy dude with a nice girlfriend. This last year though, the relationship just wasn't the same, at least for me. We started to argue a little bit more than was normal and we didn't talk much besides the topics of work and activites we were doing. We still went to a lot of places, cultural events, etc.

This September I went on and got back to college to start my master's degree , after working for a couple of years after graduating. All went well in the beginning, I even had a friend from my bachelor's class going to the same seminars as me so we easily connected with other people, including this one girl that is the main point of this post. I met, let's call her Sophie, in the 1st week and she seemed a really nice, calm and reserved person, with a lot of thoughts in her, so we started talking a little bit more often the two of us. Meanwhile my relationship was nonexistent, even though my now ex-girlfriend was studying on the same place too.

Sophie and I slowly started talking about love issues, how we fall in love with people, our views on relationship dynamics, etc. I slowly realized we have pretty much the same perspectives on this sort of stuff, we talked for hours on some days, not just about love, but everything that came up, even though we are a bit introverted (as in we don't touch eachother too often, sometimes we have a hard time starting a topic), so the conversation wasn't always the smoothest, but when there was silence we would just stare at eachother for brief moments and laugh before talking some more, sometimes a little bit like common romantic movies, so it was awkward but we laughed about it. Not surprisingly, I started to fall in love with this girl, but I kept my feelings hidden, and was struggling to not feel guilty about my then girlfriend, whom I still loved.

Fast forward to the recent weeks, my relationship fell apart and I broke up with her. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in recent years, but at the same time I felt relieved because I couldn't see myself on that relationship anymore. Getting used to single life after those years is a hard task but it came with a very positive factor. Sophie and I have been hanging out almost every day, studying and working together for the final assignments of the semester. This involved starting to watch some TV series together after all the work (obviously Friends and that sort of stuff), when everyone left the college study room at night. Meanwhile we have been talking a lot (tho not much by internet or cellphone, she usually doesnt care for those) and I can certainly feel a connection. But, the thing is, we talk about love experiences that went wrong, we're pretty much the therapists of eachother, we never talked about any sort of romantic interest between us. She started calling me at late night, we talked for a long while and the next day she invited me to have dinner with her at her house. I went there and we talked, again, for hours, with some small hints (she mentions that I'm a really nice person, that she likes me a lot, that she told her girl friends about me, that she is so happy to have someone like me to talk to, that it isnt normal to have a male friend so close to her, etc), but at the same time, she tells me that she's not ready for new relationships, that she still needs time to be alone, even though she's been single for almost a year or so.

It was 4 AM and I told her I had to go, she wanted me to stay and sleep in her house but I didn't because I had to work in the morning. I got home and realized I was dumb but we talked about a 2nd dinner next week or so.

Ok, am I imagining things where they aren't? I can feel romantic interest, but she's just like me, quiet and reserved, so she wont show much to begin with, besides all the small hints and conversation topics. Or am I being dumb and not seeing what's right in front of me?

TL;DR : While breaking up on a 5 year relationship, I met this quiet reserved, awesome girl on my college class, she sends small but significant hints but says she's not ready for a relationship yet. Am I being blind or just imagining things?

Submitted December 19, 2019 at 11:47PM

Hey, first time on this sub, and I'm here to get you guys' advice.So, I was with a girl that I met in college for 5 years with no interruptions or drama in between. It wasn't always great because our personalities clashed on some specific details, but all in all I was a happy dude with a nice girlfriend. This last year though, the relationship just wasn't the same, at least for me. We started to argue a little bit more than was normal and we didn't talk much besides the topics of work and activites we were doing. We still went to a lot of places, cultural events, etc.This September I went on and got back to college to start my master's degree , after working for a couple of years after graduating. All went well in the beginning, I even had a friend from my bachelor's class going to the same seminars as me so we easily connected with other people, including this one girl that is the main point of this post. I met, let's call her Sophie, in the 1st week and she seemed a really nice, calm and reserved person, with a lot of thoughts in her, so we started talking a little bit more often the two of us. Meanwhile my relationship was nonexistent, even though my now ex-girlfriend was studying on the same place too.Sophie and I slowly started talking about love issues, how we fall in love with people, our views on relationship dynamics, etc. I slowly realized we have pretty much the same perspectives on this sort of stuff, we talked for hours on some days, not just about love, but everything that came up, even though we are a bit introverted (as in we don't touch eachother too often, sometimes we have a hard time starting a topic), so the conversation wasn't always the smoothest, but when there was silence we would just stare at eachother for brief moments and laugh before talking some more, sometimes a little bit like common romantic movies, so it was awkward but we laughed about it. Not surprisingly, I started to fall in love with this girl, but I kept my feelings hidden, and was struggling to not feel guilty about my then girlfriend, whom I still loved.Fast forward to the recent weeks, my relationship fell apart and I broke up with her. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in recent years, but at the same time I felt relieved because I couldn't see myself on that relationship anymore. Getting used to single life after those years is a hard task but it came with a very positive factor. Sophie and I have been hanging out almost every day, studying and working together for the final assignments of the semester. This involved starting to watch some TV series together after all the work (obviously Friends and that sort of stuff), when everyone left the college study room at night. Meanwhile we have been talking a lot (tho not much by internet or cellphone, she usually doesnt care for those) and I can certainly feel a connection. But, the thing is, we talk about love experiences that went wrong, we're pretty much the therapists of eachother, we never talked about any sort of romantic interest between us. She started calling me at late night, we talked for a long while and the next day she invited me to have dinner with her at her house. I went there and we talked, again, for hours, with some small hints (she mentions that I'm a really nice person, that she likes me a lot, that she told her girl friends about me, that she is so happy to have someone like me to talk to, that it isnt normal to have a male friend so close to her, etc), but at the same time, she tells me that she's not ready for new relationships, that she still needs time to be alone, even though she's been single for almost a year or so.It was 4 AM and I told her I had to go, she wanted me to stay and sleep in her house but I didn't because I had to work in the morning. I got home and realized I was dumb but we talked about a 2nd dinner next week or so.Ok, am I imagining things where they aren't? I can feel romantic interest, but she's just like me, quiet and reserved, so she wont show much to begin with, besides all the small hints and conversation topics. Or am I being dumb and not seeing what's right in front of me?TL;DR : While breaking up on a 5 year relationship, I met this quiet reserved, awesome girl on my college class, she sends small but significant hints but says she's not ready for a relationship yet. Am I being blind or just imagining things?