He [25M] says he wants something casual with me [23F] but is inconsistent and hasn't tried having sex with me

I met him on a dating app a few months ago, we had a kind of awkward date (he was clearly the shy type, a bit anxious, but I still liked him), that ended in making out in my car. After the date he sent the first text saying he had fun, but then when I said we should see each other again, he turned me down citing a lack of connection. A few months later, we unexpectedly match again and he tells me that the reason he rejected at first was because he was looking for something casual and assumed I wouldn't be up for that. I told him that wasn't necessarily true and we could give it another try. We went on another date a few weeks ago, we got lunch but then when he walked me back to my car, he asked if I wanted to make out again. It went a little farther but still nothing close to sex. I asked him before we started making out if his place was an option (he only lived ~10 minutes away), but he said it wasn't a good time and there were some people over. Additionally I live at home with family so my place isn't an option right now. At this point, I'm starting to see that he's flaky/inconsistent but I'm frustrated and still want to have sex with him instead of these hot and heavy makeout sessions that don't lead anywhere - fully aware he doesn't want a relationship with me or anything, but I was hoping to have some kind of fwb arrangement with him. I ask if he wants to hang out again, he gives me the "I'm really busy" line and doesn't follow up with an alternate time. I kind of give up hope on him until he randomly texts me on a Saturday night about 10 days later - definitely a booty call. I missed his text but a few days later follow up that I'd be in the area meeting with some friends, asking if he wanted to meet up with me after. So we met last night, he walked me back to my car, and the same pattern ensued. Makeout went a little farther but nothing below the waist. At one point he asked if there was anything I wanted to do besides kiss, and I told him "I think you know..." and he replied saying he really wanted to do that too, and his bed would be a better place than a car. But he gave me the same line, it's a weeknight, we have work tomorrow, his place wouldn't be a great idea right now, but Saturday could work.

At this point I'm not sure why he hasn't tried to have sex with me but will have heated makeout sessions with me every so often that lead nowhere? Is he waiting for me to make a move? Or just not that attracted to me?

Submitted December 20, 2019 at 12:23AM

I met him on a dating app a few months ago, we had a kind of awkward date (he was clearly the shy type, a bit anxious, but I still liked him), that ended in making out in my car. After the date he sent the first text saying he had fun, but then when I said we should see each other again, he turned me down citing a lack of connection. A few months later, we unexpectedly match again and he tells me that the reason he rejected at first was because he was looking for something casual and assumed I wouldn't be up for that. I told him that wasn't necessarily true and we could give it another try. We went on another date a few weeks ago, we got lunch but then when he walked me back to my car, he asked if I wanted to make out again. It went a little farther but still nothing close to sex. I asked him before we started making out if his place was an option (he only lived ~10 minutes away), but he said it wasn't a good time and there were some people over. Additionally I live at home with family so my place isn't an option right now. At this point, I'm starting to see that he's flaky/inconsistent but I'm frustrated and still want to have sex with him instead of these hot and heavy makeout sessions that don't lead anywhere - fully aware he doesn't want a relationship with me or anything, but I was hoping to have some kind of fwb arrangement with him. I ask if he wants to hang out again, he gives me the "I'm really busy" line and doesn't follow up with an alternate time. I kind of give up hope on him until he randomly texts me on a Saturday night about 10 days later - definitely a booty call. I missed his text but a few days later follow up that I'd be in the area meeting with some friends, asking if he wanted to meet up with me after. So we met last night, he walked me back to my car, and the same pattern ensued. Makeout went a little farther but nothing below the waist. At one point he asked if there was anything I wanted to do besides kiss, and I told him "I think you know..." and he replied saying he really wanted to do that too, and his bed would be a better place than a car. But he gave me the same line, it's a weeknight, we have work tomorrow, his place wouldn't be a great idea right now, but Saturday could work.At this point I'm not sure why he hasn't tried to have sex with me but will have heated makeout sessions with me every so often that lead nowhere? Is he waiting for me to make a move? Or just not that attracted to me?