That’s awesome July 18, 2021 at 12:04AM

She says gray to the best of her knowledge July 18, 2021 at 12:03AM

It's not unheard of for an allosexual to become involved and thrive with someone on the Ace spectrum. Not all asexuals are sex repulsed. She could be grey or demi. Just talk to her and get a feel for where she falls on the spectrum. July 18, 2021 at 12:00AM

I mean, that's what aceflux is? Oscillating between sex-favorable, sex-meh, and sex-repulsed. July 17, 2021 at 11:50PM

I'm most confused by the posts where an "ace" (usually a teen or very young adult) goes on and on about how much they love sex, because it feels so good, and they can't wait to do it again. These kinds of comments add so much difficulty when I'm trying to defend or explain asexuality in other subs. Like I'm explaining that asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, then someone comes and says "Some of us actually like sex though", and it's like...this is not helping July 17, 2021 at 11:49PM

I am fine with other people doing their thing, but I am very uncomfortable when someone mentions sex and me in the same sentence. Idc what they do as long as someone throws sexuality activity in my face. I am repulsed to do any sexual activity if you get me and that's my ace identity. I just hate being called a prude or conservative because of the way I naturally am. And being virgin shamed too. July 17, 2021 at 11:48PM

Is it that bad, I mean because of my transgender identity I'm pretty set on the fact that I want to take T-blockers in the future ( and E ). I think my euphoria will be worth all the side effects. July 17, 2021 at 11:47PM

Hey, that must have been real hard and frightening to do. I'm proud of you! Live your best life without regrets! July 17, 2021 at 11:47PM

It’s fun with the right person. Sometimes though.. I still have to masturbate during it to orgasm since I rely on clitoral stimulation. Getting high🍃 can also make it more enjoyable for a “once in a blue moon sort of thing”🤫 July 17, 2021 at 11:44PM

I identified as ace ever since I learned of the term when I was 17, and would have labeled myself ace earlier if I had known it existed. I’m 21 now. Still ace. Perhaps more ace than before, as I’ve also realized I’m demiromantic since then. And yea, one day the way you identify and label yourself could change. But that’s true for everyone. Maybe you’ll find someone you like and realize you’re demi, or something. But that does not matter right now. You identify how you do because those labels fit who you are and how you experience life. They should honor that. Even if the labels you use do change, it doesn’t change the fact that you feel how you do now, and they need to respect that. July 17, 2021 at 11:44PM

It's a complicated issue, to be sure. I've seen conversations comparing sex positive aces as the sort of "transtrenders" of asexuality in that an asexual who has or is okay with sex is not really asexual and, like you say, takes away from the validity or true meaning of asexuality. I'd like to hear your input on that, as my only opinion is that it's almost the same energy as lesbians/gays saying bis are less queer. But intersectionality issues were inevitable. People arguing which section is just as, (and eventually), more valid than the other, which section gets more attention and how it negatively affects the other section. The only thing you can do find validation in yourself. These posts are one of the reasons I was hesitant to join these kinds of subs, I'm really just here for the memes and relatable stories... EDIT: I don't mean for this to come off argumentative btw July 17, 2021 at 11:43PM

I'm asexual and my husband is pansexual. His sex drive is huge and I'm just...not super physically affectionate that way. I told him that I just view sex as kind of a chore. Like doing the dishes. I am attracted to my husband, just find sex unappealing and uncomfortable. My husband and I are very open about this...and I told him that I was fine with him finding someone else to have sex with. I want his emotional investment. To me. So long as his heart belongs to me, and he wants to love and be with me, I really don't care if he has sex outside of our marriage. It isn't cheating to me unless that person starts to care about the other. I have some rules (that I won't detail here lol), but we are very happy and very much in love with one another. I guess I'm trying to say don't write it off just yet. I'm married to my best friend and it's been the best relationship I've had all my life. July 17, 2021 at 11:33PM

I have the fortune of being able to get images in my head corresponding to different concepts/words/feelings/music etc. (Not like a medical thing, just like a daydream) So it made it easier to break down! July 17, 2021 at 11:33PM

Haha yeah after my first relationship I really thought I’d be able to say no but sometimes I’m just such a people pleaser. Needless to say I’ve come to the harsh realization that I’m my first priority and making other people happy should be second :) July 17, 2021 at 11:33PM

Yeah I really had to use the feeling of arousal and think: that's the feeling you're supposed to get when you look at someone. Honestly it just feels disturbing and violating to think about someone like that in my book but it's nice to have an idea of what I'm "missing". July 17, 2021 at 11:29PM

I swear, this mentality is super toxic and heteronormative. Also, I feel like it treats people like animals with no self control, it's so childish! July 17, 2021 at 11:28PM

I absolutely love this explanation, and I totally get the romantic attraction one, because I'm romantic, but no matter how detailed and creative you explain sexual attraction, I just can't understand it. I do understand being horny, but I just can't imagine how someone could make your horny, how you could desire to do that with someone. It feels wrong, weird, disturbing, unnecessary?? I wish I could feel sexual attraction for once in my life because I don't get it, I really don't July 17, 2021 at 11:22PM

Congrats!! Proud of you!! 🖤🤍💜 July 17, 2021 at 11:17PM

Me an animator reading this like: ✍️ July 17, 2021 at 11:13PM

Yeah seems like a smart idea thanks :). July 17, 2021 at 11:13PM

Well there are memes about an asexuality setting on Facebook, so maybe you could change your profile to asexual and let your family/friends eventually figure it out July 17, 2021 at 11:12PM

That’s how I felt every time I’d have sex back when I was still dating and all. That’s why I stopped. I figure if my libido spikes, I can take care of it myself and actually be satisfied lol. I don’t feel sexual attraction at all and sex did nothing for me so I ended up just saying hey maybe this is something I don’t need. Not to say my libido is nonexistent tho. Pretty low but still there lol July 17, 2021 at 11:06PM

Some terms that might help you: Asexual: a person who does not typically experience sexual attraction. May abstain from sex completely or still have some sexual experiences depending on if they are sex-repusled, sex-indifferent, or sex-favorable. May still experience romantic attraction unless they are also aromantic. Sex-repulsed: People who are repulsed by the idea of sex. Sex seems uncomfortable and even painful regardless of the person. Avoids sex completely. Sex-indifferent: People who are indifferent to sex. They feel no particular sexual desire. May have sex with a partner they like as a way of spending time with them or choose to abstain from sex. Sex-favorable: Does not typically experience sexual attraction, but feels favorable about sex with a partner they like. May not have sex or may participate in sex because they find it an enjoyable way to be with a partner they like. Demisexual - An identity on the A-Spectrum. Does not feel sexual attraction unless an emotional b