Hey guys, 32F here. I have never posted, but just need some support. My “boyfriend” (32m) of 2 years... off and on for 17 years... ended things permanently tonight when he decided to buy a house without informing me. When he came home he thought he was still going to live here until he got everything finalized to move out and I told him, no, he needed to leave tonight. Things haven’t been great between us, but I am just so lost. He didn’t only leave me but he left my daughter who he’s very close with. Seeing her cry broke my heart. He was not a good partner and really I’m not that sad about the end of the relationship but what I’m the most afraid about is what is next? We live in the smallest town ever, and it’s actually his hometown not mine. I have no friends here, I actually relocated here two years ago to try it with him. I am just so fearful about being single again, and even just what’s to come. I need to try to get some sleep, but my mind has been racing. Any words of encour...

As the title says I'm 36, male, and an absolute beginner to the dating world. Throughout my childhood there was a great deal of physical and sexual abuse, and that resulted in a total rejection of sexuality and closeness with others. Years of trauma therapy later I've arrived at a place where I can finally trust people again. With that change there have been times when I have felt like companionship would be nice, since I have never experienced a relationship where you can feel physically safe and emotionally close. I am still working through the traumas and PTSD issues so I'm not ready to take the leap just yet, but I'm wondering if/when I do reach that point what my best route would be. I am absolutely not looking for hookups or anything like that. I would need time to get to know the other person and grow safe with them before something as basic as a hug or holding hands would be possible. Being in the abusive situations makes up my entire experience with sex an...

It's something that baffles me. Last weekend I'm chatting to this guy; he seems super nice, smart, polite. We exchanged phone numbers and began talking on WhatsApp. Ok - this is the part that I honestly don't get it. We were having a chat about politics and immigration. Suddenly, out of nowhere... He asked me if he can send me a photo of his penis. No, I didn't want to see it. That was it. I blocked him as I was afraid he was going to send it anyway and I honestly didn't fancy seeing a shriveled pink worm. Today out of nowhere... A dick pic! From another guy. We weren't even chatting today. It's not even 11am. This one tried to make it look classy - it was in black & white so maybe it's just marginally better. I asked him why was he doing that. He gave some sort of stupid explanation. I called him an idiot. Why do some men send unsolicited dick pics? I have a photo of his face and a photo of his cock. He does not know me. We never met. He's...

I (33F) went out on a beach walk yesterday after work on my third date with a man (44M) I met last Thursday. Being that we’re essentially still strangers we have spent a lot of time together just chatting while staring at the ocean. Then we walked to his house and hung out/made out, and went to watch the sunset on the river and watched a small pod of dolphins, which was the perfect end to the night. He walked me back to my car and I gave him flowers (it’s teacher appreciation week and I have something like 12 bouquets). He texted me last night to let me know that I make him feel good, which was sweet. He talks a lot in a future tense like, “When you meet my best friend/mom/dad...” but he also prefaces some things with “If we fall in love...”it is my nature to overanalyze things and I’m trying to just not and to go with the flow with this guy and get to know him. We see each other again for another beach walk session on Thursday and I’m excited. I might update later. Happy Wednesda...

Online dating making your crazy? Been ghosted or stood up? Tired of putting in the effort? Commiserate with your fellow daters here every hump day. Please keep the following in mind: Rule 4: This is a safe space for all races, genders, and orientations. Rule 5: This is a sex positive place. Rule 6: Don't commodify/de-humanize others Rule 7: The Red Pill/Incel/MGTOW/pickup artist content is not allowed here. Submitted May 08, 2019 at 11:12AM Online dating making your crazy? Been ghosted or stood up? Tired of putting in the effort? Commiserate with your fellow daters here every hump day.Please keep the following in mind:Rule 4: This is a safe space for all races, genders, and orientations.Rule 5: This is a sex positive place.Rule 6: Don't commodify/de-humanize othersRule 7: The Red Pill/Incel/MGTOW/pickup artist content is not allowed here.

Im 31 and this is my first date since my previous relationship ended and my first date in 5 years. I'm a terrible conversationalist and I'm a nervous wreck Submitted May 08, 2019 at 01:25PM Im 31 and this is my first date since my previous relationship ended and my first date in 5 years. I'm a terrible conversationalist and I'm a nervous wreck

Healthcare/medical practitioners for me! ​ My reasoning: I need good conversation. Time will conquer all of us physically but a well-minded partner can ponder infinitely. And someone in this field has had to build the muscle to develop rapport and communicate. ​ I (male) am lucky to get a lot of matches but if I commit to not asking all the questions the drop off rate is really high (95%+). Submitted May 08, 2019 at 01:31PM Healthcare/medical practitioners for me!​My reasoning: I need good conversation. Time will conquer all of us physically but a well-minded partner can ponder infinitely. And someone in this field has had to build the muscle to develop rapport and communicate.​I (male) am lucky to get a lot of matches but if I commit to not asking all the questions the drop off rate is really high (95%+).

Does more time with the same partner implicitly mean more commitment? Is it the same to walk away from a relationship after five years rather than five months? Does being with someone longer and longer automatically mean you'll be married? Seems like a lot of people are under the impression that they are owed a more lasting commitment because they've invested so much time in someone. What do you think of the argument "you've made me lose my time with you; I could have invested that time in someone who was eventually going to marry me"? Submitted May 08, 2019 at 02:01PM Does more time with the same partner implicitly mean more commitment? Is it the same to walk away from a relationship after five years rather than five months? Does being with someone longer and longer automatically mean you'll be married? Seems like a lot of people are under the impression that they are owed a more lasting commitment because they've invested so much time in someone. ...

I (female, mid-30s-ish) got out of a LTR a few months ago. It was a dead bedroom one, with other incompatibilities, but other than than he was a great guy and I still think very highly of him. The breakup was in the best terms possible, no resentment of bad feelings, just understanding this is the right thing for both of us and we just won't get what we want from a RS at the end so it's best to part ways now (this was after several years together). For the past couple of weeks I've gone out with several guys, thinking I'm ready for a new RS since in my previous one it's been "bad" for a long time, so the process of realizing it's coming and adjusting in a way has begun long before the actual breakup. None of these dates developed into something meaningful, though I was kind of into the first guy I dated, and it was nice to discover I'm capable of that so soon after the end of my RS. With another guy I've been meeting pretty regularly but the ...

I've been getting this a lot lately. I meet a guy on OLD and in the first phone call or first date they ask me questions such as: "How come you've been single for so long?" or "How come you never had kids until now?" or if I mention that I'm not desperate for just any relationship, that I'm perfectly comfortable being single while working on finding a compatible partner, that "they're concerned I'm too much used to living on my own and might not be willing to make concessions." (excuse me??) And even though I know I don't have to explain myself to anyone, I can't help but feel that for a single woman over 35 it's really hard out there... I couldn't possibly explain to the average dimwit on day 1 that I'm a super late bloomer, that thanks to therapy at 32 I embarked on a much-needed journey of self-realization and maturity, that I was a timid insecure person until I broke off my engagement to a childish, emotion...

I got this crush. She's super cute. She isn't very talkative by text but i guess she is interested in me since she hit me up. I'm a cripple right now. I am literally in bed most of the day, dicking around on my phone all day so i know the moment she texts me. I have no natural distractions to create time-space between text messages (except for the brief rehab i do up to twice a day. Thats like 30-60 mins max per session tho). I barely sleep sleep too so literally no breaks in my awareness of when she texts me. Obviously I'm bored so this is gonna test my self-control. My respond finger is itching. Im curious what she said but I don't wanna click it cuz then she'll know i read it. What's the rule here? I'm 34 she's 28 if that matters. Submitted May 08, 2019 at 03:22PM I got this crush. She's super cute. She isn't very talkative by text but i guess she is interested in me since she hit me up.I'm a cripple right now. I am literally ...

It’s been a very long time since I’d been dating. Must say, it’s changed quite a bit. Am baffled though, I never remember being dumped so quickly, so frequently and to the phrases such as “you’re one of the good ones” or “you’re the catch” or something similar. If I’m the catch, why am I getting thrown back in the water? If the sex was as good as you say it was, (“you’re great”) why am I being fired? To make matters more baffling, the women uttering said lines were all looking for LTR’s as am I. Now, I realize those phrases are really just variations on the classic, “it’s not you, it’s me” line. But the classic line doesn’t genuinely imply any positivity with regards to the dumped. The modern variation does. Reaching out to the women here, what’s the deal here? Do you have a go to dump line? Would you use something like that one? Submitted May 08, 2019 at 03:54PM It’s been a very long time since I’d been dating. Must say, it’s changed quite a bit.Am baffled though, I never re...

So a couple of weeks back I posted about a guy I had a date with. We hit it off, got kind of drunk and had sex. We continued conversation via text after that but I noticed his tone changed and I couldn't tell if it was because he wasn't that into me or if he was just being respectful and not wanting to seem like he just wanted sex. I asked him out a couple of times and got wishy washy answers, so I just decided to move on and I stopped initiating any texts. I didn't hear from him for about a week and lastnight he texts me around 8pm with a "hey, I've been SO stressed out which is why I've been so distant. What are you doing tonight?" I was immediately suspicious he was trying to get another hookup so I decided to try something. I told him I was going to the gym and then to bed afterwards. He replied with "I'll be up, come and shower at my place, possibly with me!" I replied with "not a good day for that, I'm dealing with female iss...

In a world full of people that ghost and flake, have you ever stopped to wonder how we have came to this? In my opinion (and that is all it is), I think it has a lot to do with how poorly people handle rejection. On both ends. I'm trying to do my part by very tactfully and nicely rejecting someone when we are not a fit. Sometimes this bites me in the face. Last night I matched with a guy, we were having normal conversation when he suddenly asks if I'm a bot or a real poly chick. I typed out some robot sounds and then told him I was a real poly chick. Next words out of his mouth are something to the effect of how I like several male appendages at once. I told him that I had enjoyed the conversation and good luck on his search. Next thing I know he is insulting me and the way I look and then blocked me. If someone is willing to do the hard thing and actually tell you no, especially in a nice manner after you have been rude, just say thank you back and go about your day. PSA #2:...

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four months and he’s always been very open with me about the fact that his ex broke his heart by leaving him. This was four years ago and he said he was a horrible person for a long time afterwards and that he treated women like shit as he was so bitter. He said he slept with as many women as he could and ended up having a problem with alcohol and drugs. Then I came along and he said I was the first woman he’d met since her that he genuinely liked and wanted a relationship with. Yesterday evening when I went to his house he was in a foul mood. After a bit of probing it turns out he found out that his ex has had a baby. He said that he was nearly physically sick when he found out and then admitted that she was the one who got away, and that he will always regret messing things up with her. I’ve always known their break up had affected him as he mentions her often but his reaction last night seemed quite extreme. He even said, “I’m with you and you’re co...

My last relationship ended last August and I signed up for Tinder pretty reluctantly back in January. At first, everyone I matched with ended up being duds. Everything from uninteresting brick walls to a guy who stood me up. Mid March I matched with a guy who is recently divorced and has 2 biological kids and 1 step-son. I have never been married and I do not have kids. He is 34 and I am 33. We started chatting and it just never stopped...he had interesting things to talk about and we just flowed so naturally with one another, I honestly couldn’t believe it! We just made things official...perhaps we’re moving fast, but for the fact that we sit around every time we hang out and talk for hours and laugh so much and truly enjoy each other’s company is enough for me. I haven’t felt this good in a very long time. J makes me feel needed and wanted and special to him. We have similar pasts and our connection is crazy...I am happy! I am excited to see where things go and I am thankful for T...

So I’m 41 (no kids, never married) and last year my 9 year relationship ended. Am I right in my observation so far that most men my age are looking for late 20’s - early 30’s women and men in that same age range are interested in older women for hookups only? I’ve always dated younger men but now I can’t find one that wants more than casual to hookup. When I look for men around my age they don’t seem to swipe on me as often as the younger guys. What’s a girl to do?? Submitted May 08, 2019 at 06:39PM So I’m 41 (no kids, never married) and last year my 9 year relationship ended. Am I right in my observation so far that most men my age are looking for late 20’s - early 30’s women and men in that same age range are interested in older women for hookups only? I’ve always dated younger men but now I can’t find one that wants more than casual to hookup. When I look for men around my age they don’t seem to swipe on me as often as the younger guys. What’s a girl to do??

You’re part dragon, sure May 09, 2019 at 07:12AM

Destruction on what scale? May 09, 2019 at 06:56AM

‘Make sure no one finds out we’re secretly dragons’ now it’s written they’ll be all over us, we need counter intelligence now! May 09, 2019 at 06:55AM

Can i be a fox May 09, 2019 at 06:45AM

Or sometimes not-so-secretely :) May 09, 2019 at 06:33AM

That's already too much for me haha How about, let's go to our separate bedrooms so I don't hear your breathing, it's great that your heart is beating but I really don't wanna to listen to that annoying noise all night, a pillow is more comfy that your chest (works for male or female) but hey let's have breakfast in the morning, I know a great place with cake and pancakes, horrible coffee but it's cheap and they have a great patio! May 09, 2019 at 06:29AM

I rarely do, but it’s often at the most random time. Just sitting watching tv and BOOM. May 09, 2019 at 06:28AM

Well damn. May 09, 2019 at 06:24AM

I get turned on whenever I think about how I'm not turned on so I try to avoid it if I want to avoid clamming everywhere like I've done in the past. Some things are better left to the imagination. May 09, 2019 at 06:24AM

Just commented and tried to give a more intellectual response after calling the poster bullshit too. Lets see... I recently discovered I was demisexual (after stumbling across the word)... and this is the stuff that would make me slightly (or very) worried if I was to 'come out' demisexual to people I know. And it will be hard enough just trying to explain that it has nothing to do with gender preference first, never mind how it's definition differs to 'normal' sexual people as well. After believing I was a normal straight male, It's was as much as a surprise to me to entirely identifying myself to a new word I'd never herd of, part of grey-a spectrum.... And, more to the point, to a new group of people, that share the same experiences as me, whom I never new existed. May 09, 2019 at 06:14AM

I’m an ace lesbean should I join you? May 09, 2019 at 05:48AM

Plenty of asexuals don’t masturbate Sounds pretty ace to me. You don’t need to try sex to know you’re asexual. Sounds pretty ace to me. Non-asexuals may feel the same way here. I hope that helps but ultimately it’s up to you. May 09, 2019 at 05:31AM

Kinda hard to tell sometimes for me. The only times I see others say "(insert character here) IS SO ACE!!" is for shows focused more on teens/younger people (Sherlock, Riverdale..sort of, other shows like that) so I think it's just there so people would be more happy. Kinda dumb May 09, 2019 at 04:56AM

That’s adorable! May 09, 2019 at 04:55AM

This is definitely me, but I'd be throwing myself across the street May 09, 2019 at 04:48AM

I don't have any advice for you, unfortunately, but I understand how you feel completely if that's any solace. I'm currently experiencing a kind of jealousy over a close friend's romantic relationships. I have no romantic attraction toward him, or anyone else for that matter, but I'm terrified of him leaving me in favor of his romance. May 09, 2019 at 04:35AM

Okay, that's fair. May 09, 2019 at 04:27AM

Dreaming of destruction is a subtle clue. May 09, 2019 at 04:27AM

Aw that's so great!! I'm so glad it worked out for you and was a positive experience :)). May 09, 2019 at 04:17AM

I was 13 which is still in possible late-bloomer phase (not really anymore, I'm 16) but the way I figured I could always change labels later. but I haven't! As I'm writing this I'm not actually sure if any of my family knows. I'm kinda low-key about it and they all certainly know I'm queer but I don't know that any of them specifically know about ace. I'm not really sure tbh, nor do I care. If they did know, I'm sure they would be chill May 09, 2019 at 04:12AM

Silver or gold? Dull or reflective? I like reflective silver things, as long as I can keep them clean and shiny. May 09, 2019 at 04:08AM

The fact that I'm a dragon is so secret that even I don't know it. May 09, 2019 at 04:07AM

Sounds like a variant of aegosexuality to me. Does this match your experiences at all? https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Autochorisexual May 09, 2019 at 03:35AM

Perfect!!!!!!! May 09, 2019 at 03:25AM

You can buy an aromatic aromantic flag: https://www.zazzle.com/z/lqumy?rf=238545785965645485 May 09, 2019 at 03:20AM

Found out my husband was talking to his ex. I'm fully done now and I really thought we would last. Don't they all in the beginning. Our kids are young . Submitted May 08, 2019 at 11:03AM Found out my husband was talking to his ex. I'm fully done now and I really thought we would last. Don't they all in the beginning. Our kids are young .

My wife and I are in marriage therapy. It's one step forward, and two steps back. ​ I've never been the most social person, and my wife is. So, something odd has developed in our relationship. Since our kids (6&8)were born, my wife has been going out with friends. At first, it was going to friends houses, sometimes with the kids. Then she would drop the kids off at home and I'd watch them and she would go back out. Have a few drinks and relax with friends. I'd say it was happening 1-2 days a week. So an odd thing happened, and this particular friend decided she no longer wanted to be friends with my wife. I don't quite understand why, but ok. ​ Last summer, my wife meets some new friends and begins hanging out with them. It seems like they really like going out late and to the bar. Since I work on the weekends, I typically want to be home before midnight. My wife and I used to go to concerts and she wanted to go to one again to rekindle. We saw our friends ...

TLDR; my spouse has lately been very up and down. Sometimes saying really negative and explosive things to me like i hate you, i want a divorce, this is all your fault, its so unfair to me. And on other days, I really appreciate your support and kindness! I wonder there is more to this than just our past fights, like her issues with her menstrual cycle, the environment she grew up in, etc. Can anyone with a similar experience share? I noticed my spouse had depression around January or February, but some common friends think it happened earlier. my spouse rarely smiles, feels like she's in a dark cage all the time, either doesnt want to go out, or goes out alone. Feels no one understands her. never looks forward to the day, and has had occasional suicidal thoughts. we are living separately due to work issues. Recently i felt it went up another level. She sent me an email at 4am, about her future business trip. we chatted about it during lunch break. I asked her why she sent it a...

I've posted in several different threads about my issues with my wife based off of years of depression, anger and lies on my part. I'm not blaming anyone but myself. I started getting the help I greatly needed over 6 months ago, and i have felt a huge change in my demeanor and actions. It's been 3 years since my wife I have been intimate. I brought up to her recently that I want things to change. That I want our relationship to get back to the level we were at and then even better. She tells me she cant be with someone who yelled and has fits of anger and what not. I'm paraphrasing, but I hope I'm getting the point across. I bring up that I dont feel the same as I did for those couple years that I was battling my own issues with depression and self worth that were turned outward into anger and outbursts. I'm not making excuses. I take full responsibility for my actions and I know I have to live with them and live them down. She tells me she cant forget what ...

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. During that time we had a daughter who is now 3 months old. We definitely struggled during the pregnancy. My husband couldn't find a job and he was very difficult to deal with. I was experiencing the symptoms of pregnancy and wasn't a gem myself. We had an extremely rough patch in November. He got a job and began to work 60 to 70 hours a week. He would be moody and angry when at home with me. When I'd try to talk to him about my pregnancy he would tell me to stop complaining and it wouldn't last forever. I retaliated feeling that I was dismissed and unimportant in his life anymore. I acted poorly and shouted, yelled and screamed all kinds of inappropriate things. He did too. In November I asked if we could start marriage counseling. He initially agreed, but when I found a counselor and asked him a good time to go he told me he wasn't ready. I let it go, we were having a baby and I did want things to work out. ...

Well I hope someone out there reads this and understands. Here we go, I am 34 years old and have a wife and two kids. My wife doesn't work and were okay financially. We could be better. I commute on a good day 1 hour one way to work and am a GM for a transportation company. The job is very demanding mentally and physically. On my "days off" and "vacation" days I work. Im responsible for P&L/HR/Mechanical/Safety Enforcement/Hiring/Terminating/Evaluation/75+ Emails A Day/Customer Service/Oversee 40+ employees. It's a thankless job and I've tried applying to other places with no response. I feel like I've wasted 13 years of my life since no one even considers me. I'm a satellite branch so our main branch doesn't support me the way it should. I have to wing my decisions. My boss isn't supportive and never replied to my text/emails unless he's pushed. I find out that HR thinks I sit on my ass and do nothing. I wish I had a degree so p...

When I’ve heard about others being cheated on, I always they were crazy for staying, but now I’m in that same situation. After two years of trying for a child and one loss to ectopic pregnancy (where it’s in the tubes and not in the uterus), we finally got pregnant and we had a beautiful baby girl last December. Naturally, hormones were high and we were stressed out as new parents and fighting. The day after Christmas, he was sleeping next to me and I grabbed his phone to put away. Since my finger print is there as a password it unlocked by itself. I never went through his phone despite him always saying I could, but in hindsight he was just saying that to retain trust. When it unlocked I saw he had been messaging another women and telling her he loved her. I woke him up there and confronted him which he denied and said it meant nothing. He said it was simply platonic and they had never actually met in personal or got physical since she lived across the border. I logged onto our pho...

I have been married to my husband for over 11 years, been together for almost 18...since I was 18. Gosh that sounds like such a long time! And it really has been. Long and hard and honestly we shouldn't have made it this far with how hard and unhealthy our marriage was for so long. Last summer a couple things happened - not big just like "the final straw" kinda things and I moved out into my parents house with our daughter. I couldn't handle the fighting, disrespect, sadness, stress...and having our daughter see it and seeing that it visibly bothered her was so hard. This was the last week of August. 1 week before our 11th anniversary. I stayed there for as long as I could handle it, but as much as I absolutely love my parents, it was hard on all of us living together. Things still weren't improving in my marriage despite trying to have talks and work thru things ourselves. I had asked for marriage counseling for years, and finally stating that I would not retur...