Burned Out?

Well I hope someone out there reads this and understands. Here we go, I am 34 years old and have a wife and two kids. My wife doesn't work and were okay financially. We could be better. I commute on a good day 1 hour one way to work and am a GM for a transportation company. The job is very demanding mentally and physically. On my "days off" and "vacation" days I work. Im responsible for P&L/HR/Mechanical/Safety Enforcement/Hiring/Terminating/Evaluation/75+ Emails A Day/Customer Service/Oversee 40+ employees. It's a thankless job and I've tried applying to other places with no response. I feel like I've wasted 13 years of my life since no one even considers me. I'm a satellite branch so our main branch doesn't support me the way it should. I have to wing my decisions. My boss isn't supportive and never replied to my text/emails unless he's pushed. I find out that HR thinks I sit on my ass and do nothing. I wish I had a degree so people would at least look at me.

I work 12 hours a day and come home to a stressed out wife who cant handle being home with two kids at times. I get it the kids are demanding a 2 and 4 year old. She wants me to still cook/clean/put kids to bed despite her being home. My only release is playing video games which irritates her. I try to work out to relieve stress as well. I'm on edge from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I can't leave my job since I'm the only provider. My wife refuses to find a job so I can work closer to home. At the same time I don't want a abusive babysitter. My mom works and my mother in law can't handle babysitting. My wife claims she's more tired than me and I'm not supportive of her. (She doesn't work)

Fact is I'm spiralling into severe depression and anxiety. I try my best to fight it to tell myself do it for the kids. There's days I want to sell the house and quit my job. This isn't normal I have two beautiful girls who should motivate me to take on the world. My wife thinks I'm and I quote "self piece of shit loser husband". It's hard maintaining composure at work and home because I don't want to be seen as unstable. If anyone out there can help or guide me please do. I live in Riverside county CA. I am doing my best to stay strong but the inevitable is I'll get fired or quit everything all together. Thank for those who read this.

EDIT: The focal point seems to be that I play video games and thats it. I understand my wife works hard and deals with the kids 24/7. I am not belittling what she does. My concern is she has horrible time management because I see she is on Facebook constantly. I encourage her to go out. I do everything she does during the week on the weekend to help ease her stress. I help with the kids when I get home and go play with them in their room so she can unwind.

Submitted May 08, 2019 at 07:17PM

Well I hope someone out there reads this and understands. Here we go, I am 34 years old and have a wife and two kids. My wife doesn't work and were okay financially. We could be better. I commute on a good day 1 hour one way to work and am a GM for a transportation company. The job is very demanding mentally and physically. On my "days off" and "vacation" days I work. Im responsible for P&L/HR/Mechanical/Safety Enforcement/Hiring/Terminating/Evaluation/75+ Emails A Day/Customer Service/Oversee 40+ employees. It's a thankless job and I've tried applying to other places with no response. I feel like I've wasted 13 years of my life since no one even considers me. I'm a satellite branch so our main branch doesn't support me the way it should. I have to wing my decisions. My boss isn't supportive and never replied to my text/emails unless he's pushed. I find out that HR thinks I sit on my ass and do nothing. I wish I had a degree so people would at least look at me.I work 12 hours a day and come home to a stressed out wife who cant handle being home with two kids at times. I get it the kids are demanding a 2 and 4 year old. She wants me to still cook/clean/put kids to bed despite her being home. My only release is playing video games which irritates her. I try to work out to relieve stress as well. I'm on edge from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I can't leave my job since I'm the only provider. My wife refuses to find a job so I can work closer to home. At the same time I don't want a abusive babysitter. My mom works and my mother in law can't handle babysitting. My wife claims she's more tired than me and I'm not supportive of her. (She doesn't work)Fact is I'm spiralling into severe depression and anxiety. I try my best to fight it to tell myself do it for the kids. There's days I want to sell the house and quit my job. This isn't normal I have two beautiful girls who should motivate me to take on the world. My wife thinks I'm and I quote "self piece of shit loser husband". It's hard maintaining composure at work and home because I don't want to be seen as unstable. If anyone out there can help or guide me please do. I live in Riverside county CA. I am doing my best to stay strong but the inevitable is I'll get fired or quit everything all together. Thank for those who read this.EDIT: The focal point seems to be that I play video games and thats it. I understand my wife works hard and deals with the kids 24/7. I am not belittling what she does. My concern is she has horrible time management because I see she is on Facebook constantly. I encourage her to go out. I do everything she does during the week on the weekend to help ease her stress. I help with the kids when I get home and go play with them in their room so she can unwind.