I’ve got a job, doing well in grad school, losing weight, have friends I socialize with regularly, a therapist and take meds but am genetpretty depressed and feel empty in life. Would it be wrong to date while I’m in this state? I hope not because it seems to be my permanent state. I’d say at least I’m high functioning. I look presentable and stuff when I go out. Just don’t know if it’s be fair to a partner to have to deal with me. Average looking. Submitted December 07, 2020 at 11:44PM I’ve got a job, doing well in grad school, losing weight, have friends I socialize with regularly, a therapist and take meds but am genetpretty depressed and feel empty in life. Would it be wrong to date while I’m in this state?I hope not because it seems to be my permanent state. I’d say at least I’m high functioning. I look presentable and stuff when I go out. Just don’t know if it’s be fair to a partner to have to deal with me. Average looking.

\So ~3 months ago my ex dumped me. We dated for 4 months, 3 exclusive, and she essentially used me as a rebound then dumped me telling me she didn't have strong enough feelings and wasn't over her ex (they didn't get back together--he moved out of state after their breakup). It was rough as I had VERY strong feelings for her. I would even say I fell in love with her. So fast forward 2.5 months after the dumping and I get a text from her asking how I'm doing. We make some small talk, then set up a date for wine and a fire at my place over the weekend. A couple days later (and a couple days from our date) she hits me up asking if I want to come hangout. I agree and when I go over it's obvious she has booty called me. She's in a nightgown, I smell weed, she's playing romantic-ish music, lights are dimmed, etc. We end up having sex and I leave right after because she's "tired". I mean nothing but a booty call. So our weekend date night rolls aro...

Sorry for the long post y'all, I tried my best to make it short haha TLDR; Live-in boyfriend has been distant for months, I wasn't happy and thinking about breaking up (not knowing what to do) when he finally told me he wants an open relationship. I'm not fully opposed to the idea, but don't feel secure enough, or confident in his communication skills to make it work. So, last year me (26F) and SO (26M) moved to another country together, without any friends or family in the new place. We were best friends in high school and had a crush on each other, got into the same uni, started dating and have been together ever since, almost 7 years now. We work on the same field, have a million friends/work mates in common etc. When we moved, we had just been through a rough patch in the relationship, but came back stronger than ever and I was extremely happy, feeling like a lot of our issues (especially regarding trust) were being solved. However, we moved because of grad schoo...

Hey everyone. Here is my story. I'm a guy from Russia and I didn't have sex for a long time. I don't know how I ended up in this situation but I guess it's became my comfort zone. I'm not ugly. Even attractive. Random Girls can give me a smile sometimes. I have some matches on tinder and some girls didn't mind to go out with me. But I so unsocial, and I forgot how to speak with girls actually. I can't step out of my comfort zone. And when I texting with girls this always end up with me mastrubating on her photo and afterwards I forget about girls until I feel sexual temptation again. Then I can text another girl, mastrubate and again forget about it. How I should get out of this loop? I really want to have sex with a girl and not with my hand only. Submitted December 07, 2020 at 11:51PM Hey everyone. Here is my story. I'm a guy from Russia and I didn't have sex for a long time. I don't know how I ended up in this situation but I guess it...

I (m20) have been talking to someone (f19) who I have gone on several dates with and had amazing conversations and connections with. However, when we our communicating via text or snapchat, she often takes upwards of a day before she responds. She does keep the conversation going and doesn't just send a bland selfie to keep the snap streak or a dry text to keep the conversation going. I'd like to hear what other peoples experiences are with bad texters and how they overcame that anxiety Submitted December 08, 2020 at 12:01AM I (m20) have been talking to someone (f19) who I have gone on several dates with and had amazing conversations and connections with. However, when we our communicating via text or snapchat, she often takes upwards of a day before she responds. She does keep the conversation going and doesn't just send a bland selfie to keep the snap streak or a dry text to keep the conversation going. I'd like to hear what other peoples experiences are with b...

I just started dating someone about 2 months ago. The first few weeks we were hanging out about 3x a week (a lot, I know). Lately we’ve only been hanging out once per week. We text about every day and he expresses interest in me, but it feels to be moving very slowly.. maybe even backwards. I’m very confused because all signs point towards mutual interest, but it’s still feeling stagnant Submitted December 08, 2020 at 12:14AM I just started dating someone about 2 months ago. The first few weeks we were hanging out about 3x a week (a lot, I know).Lately we’ve only been hanging out once per week.We text about every day and he expresses interest in me, but it feels to be moving very slowly.. maybe even backwards.I’m very confused because all signs point towards mutual interest, but it’s still feeling stagnant

🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷 December 08, 2020 at 12:06AM

You know your orientation about sexual and romantic fronts, and being away from the norm, you are bound to be overlooked and feel left out. You need to accept that your systems work different than others, thus creating difficulties in those parts of your life. ​ Don't worry, most people doesn't care that much about their friends' love life, unless they are trying to match that friend with someone. As long as you don't show yourself as a loser, blaming everything but yourself, you will mostly be teased about your lack of luck and they will continue as normal. ​ You most likely seen yourself as a normal person for a long time, thus not experiencing normal people stuff puts your mind into defensive mode, like they can sense your lack of prowess, and it is only your fault, not a bazillion other variables too. ​ TL;DR: It is normal for you to feel panic. Take a deep breath, relax and open up a little. You'll see how people react in a positive manner most of the ti...

I'm afraid it was my friend that said the "asexuality is evolutionary biology" bit. Happy to say it wasn't my teacher, though! He's pretty old, but he tries really hard to be supportive. I think he only called it strange to think about because in the heavily sexualized world we live in, it kinda is? I don't really think my friend knew what she was talking about, just echoing some pseudo-psychology bs she read (which isn't unlike her) and then getting cold and defensive when I questioned it (which also isn't unlike her, unfortunately). About animals being aggressive - the males in the study that acted (mostly) celibate were bullied into such by the more dominant males, who in turn because aggressive sexual deviants. So, you're totally right there! (It's... really a horrifying study to read) December 08, 2020 at 12:03AM

brazilian aces assemble! :') December 08, 2020 at 12:02AM

I know how you feel, sometimes I feel the same... You can ask that question to r/aromanic . Maybe they can help you out :) December 07, 2020 at 11:55PM

it's misogyny, pure and simple. December 07, 2020 at 11:51PM

Well, that's both rude and confusing. December 07, 2020 at 11:49PM

Quick question, what the fuck is wrong with your teacher? If evolutionary biology has any viable points to make (and let me be clear, cos it attracts a LOT of armchair psychologists who start with what they think is true and work backwards from that), it would say that asexuality makes sense in social animals where the entire group can contribute to raising the next generation, and that you might want to check if we see higher rates of asexuality in younger siblings. Etc. It is NOT a logical position that "asexuality occurs when animals are sad and not good at getting laid" (honestly it would be nicer if that were the case... Certain animals are 'aggressive' to put it nicely. I won't go into more detail cos some species are a bit bleak- shout out to a book called Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice for All Creation). That's like saying that celibacy and, in the likely case of the mice, depression are asexuality - no. Asexuality does not equal sexual behaviour, and s...

Unexpected touches, coupled with being unseen is the ultimate surprise attack, and light touches are ticklish, which is one of the ways warms up the arousal system, assuming there is no blocking fact for a relationship to form between the initiator and receptor. ​ Basically one of the ways to initiate arousal subroutine, hardly fails in a bad way, and actually a brave move when done in a manner other than with shoes. December 07, 2020 at 11:44PM

Ah, definition does say that. Personally, I'd add "unless otherwise specified" but it's good I guess. So, my sexuality is intense, but it's singular to myself. Although, I am pansexual as well, but is my autosexuality alone under the asexual umbrella or not and why? December 07, 2020 at 11:41PM

Looking cute!! December 07, 2020 at 11:40PM

gotcha December 07, 2020 at 11:39PM

ok thanks so much for the advice :) December 07, 2020 at 11:23PM

we are rare and hard to come by nice to meet you fellow panromantic gray ace December 07, 2020 at 11:18PM

well, sensitive skin or not, if it hurts it needs attention. try a good old saline soak (... boil water, dissolve about half a tsp of non-iodine salt into a glass of water, let it cool down, put lobe into it for a few minutes, don't burn yourself), that should help. December 07, 2020 at 11:16PM

Yeaaaaaaah. I joined okcupid a little bit ago and it was just...not a good experience for me personally. Not only was I constantly hit up for threesomes and propositioned, but I had the exact same experience as you: sex was too important. December 07, 2020 at 11:09PM

I second this. It's a gross concept December 07, 2020 at 11:07PM