Absolutely ridiculous situation with dating ex again. What to do?

\So ~3 months ago my ex dumped me. We dated for 4 months, 3 exclusive, and she essentially used me as a rebound then dumped me telling me she didn't have strong enough feelings and wasn't over her ex (they didn't get back together--he moved out of state after their breakup). It was rough as I had VERY strong feelings for her. I would even say I fell in love with her.

So fast forward 2.5 months after the dumping and I get a text from her asking how I'm doing. We make some small talk, then set up a date for wine and a fire at my place over the weekend. A couple days later (and a couple days from our date) she hits me up asking if I want to come hangout. I agree and when I go over it's obvious she has booty called me. She's in a nightgown, I smell weed, she's playing romantic-ish music, lights are dimmed, etc. We end up having sex and I leave right after because she's "tired". I mean nothing but a booty call.

So our weekend date night rolls around and here's where it becomes a mess. The first hour is great. Wine, fire, laughs, etc... At some point I ask her if she was able to work through the "issues" she had before and if she's "better" now (issues as in not being over her ex and not being ready to date). She tells me she is better now. I also ask why she decided to hit me up, and her response was "I just wanted to hangout and see where it would go/what would happen" or something like that--implying that she wants to give "us" another shot and IS now ready to date seriously. Then we start hooking up, I'm turned on at first, then start feeling weird about it all and lose my excitedness. I tell her I'm feeling weird and she asks why. Cringe warning: I pretty much broke down, and I told her how I was in love with her, that she broke my heart, and how last few months were sh!tty because of it. While I'm telling her this she has her head on my shoulder and is rubbing my back. She then says "how about we take it slow, act like we never dated and start new?" I agree. Then she asks me when I'm free next week, says we should do dinner, and we schedule it for saturday. We then watch TV for a little bit, and believe it or not I say we should lay down in my bedroom, she agrees, and we end up having sex. We cuddle and talk for a bit after, and she returns the "breaking down" favor by breaking down while telling me about how her parents are recently separated and are getting divorced. Ha. Before she leaves I propose we hangout wednesday too and she agrees.

On wednesday I go to her place after work and we have dinner and watch a movie. I start making a move on her (as in going past kissing) and she stops me and reiterates how she's serious about taking it slow because it helps her connect more emotionally and asks if I'm okay with that. I say I am and not much else happens that night.

Saturday we go to the gym together, then later go out to dinner. Dinner was just her and I, but after dinner one of her GF's met up with us for a couple drinks. After drinks I drive us back to her place and as I'm looking for a parking spot she says "actually don't worry about parking. I'm having lunch with my nephew tomorrow so I have to go to bed. You can just drop me off." I mean, she usually goes to bed at like 9 and it was past 10, so fair enough I guess, but damn. I end up parking anyways, say we should hangout tuesday (tomorrow), she agrees, then I walk her to her apartment door, give her a goodnight kiss and that's it.

Obviously this is a total fucking mess. I'm cool with "taking it slow" for a little while if it truly helps her build an emotional connection, but it feels weird considering we have 4 months of history and the first two hangouts after reconnecting we hooked up (the first being a straight up booty call by her too). It feels like a step backwards rather than forwards to me. I'm thinking tomorrow I'm not going try and set up a subsequent date, and I'm going to see if she'll reach out to me instead.

How should I "play" this?

Submitted December 07, 2020 at 11:48PM

\So ~3 months ago my ex dumped me. We dated for 4 months, 3 exclusive, and she essentially used me as a rebound then dumped me telling me she didn't have strong enough feelings and wasn't over her ex (they didn't get back together--he moved out of state after their breakup). It was rough as I had VERY strong feelings for her. I would even say I fell in love with her.So fast forward 2.5 months after the dumping and I get a text from her asking how I'm doing. We make some small talk, then set up a date for wine and a fire at my place over the weekend. A couple days later (and a couple days from our date) she hits me up asking if I want to come hangout. I agree and when I go over it's obvious she has booty called me. She's in a nightgown, I smell weed, she's playing romantic-ish music, lights are dimmed, etc. We end up having sex and I leave right after because she's "tired". I mean nothing but a booty call.So our weekend date night rolls around and here's where it becomes a mess. The first hour is great. Wine, fire, laughs, etc... At some point I ask her if she was able to work through the "issues" she had before and if she's "better" now (issues as in not being over her ex and not being ready to date). She tells me she is better now. I also ask why she decided to hit me up, and her response was "I just wanted to hangout and see where it would go/what would happen" or something like that--implying that she wants to give "us" another shot and IS now ready to date seriously. Then we start hooking up, I'm turned on at first, then start feeling weird about it all and lose my excitedness. I tell her I'm feeling weird and she asks why. Cringe warning: I pretty much broke down, and I told her how I was in love with her, that she broke my heart, and how last few months were sh!tty because of it. While I'm telling her this she has her head on my shoulder and is rubbing my back. She then says "how about we take it slow, act like we never dated and start new?" I agree. Then she asks me when I'm free next week, says we should do dinner, and we schedule it for saturday. We then watch TV for a little bit, and believe it or not I say we should lay down in my bedroom, she agrees, and we end up having sex. We cuddle and talk for a bit after, and she returns the "breaking down" favor by breaking down while telling me about how her parents are recently separated and are getting divorced. Ha. Before she leaves I propose we hangout wednesday too and she agrees.On wednesday I go to her place after work and we have dinner and watch a movie. I start making a move on her (as in going past kissing) and she stops me and reiterates how she's serious about taking it slow because it helps her connect more emotionally and asks if I'm okay with that. I say I am and not much else happens that night.Saturday we go to the gym together, then later go out to dinner. Dinner was just her and I, but after dinner one of her GF's met up with us for a couple drinks. After drinks I drive us back to her place and as I'm looking for a parking spot she says "actually don't worry about parking. I'm having lunch with my nephew tomorrow so I have to go to bed. You can just drop me off." I mean, she usually goes to bed at like 9 and it was past 10, so fair enough I guess, but damn. I end up parking anyways, say we should hangout tuesday (tomorrow), she agrees, then I walk her to her apartment door, give her a goodnight kiss and that's it.Obviously this is a total fucking mess. I'm cool with "taking it slow" for a little while if it truly helps her build an emotional connection, but it feels weird considering we have 4 months of history and the first two hangouts after reconnecting we hooked up (the first being a straight up booty call by her too). It feels like a step backwards rather than forwards to me. I'm thinking tomorrow I'm not going try and set up a subsequent date, and I'm going to see if she'll reach out to me instead.How should I "play" this?