We are actually significantly rarer. Statistically we're outnumbered 2:1, but looking at the active community we're outnumbered about 4:1 July 06, 2020 at 11:58PM

same tho, my parents RARELY gave me hugs so whenever I did get one I felt uncomfortable. But you know sometimes you just need a hug :) July 06, 2020 at 11:56PM

Grey-a? And you are 100% valid. And this community is really accepting so even if u are allo you are allowed as long as ur respectful, but honestly, just from this you sound ace and really it just comes down to how you want to identify. And what do you want advice on? Sorry Side note: sexual thoughts don't really mean much? It's if you want to do those things and how much you find people sexually attractive. July 06, 2020 at 11:55PM

high fives MONOTODO Another AroAce guy checking in. July 06, 2020 at 11:51PM

Ba bababa bababababa ba baba ba July 06, 2020 at 11:50PM

No, UK, why? July 06, 2020 at 11:46PM

You’re welcome! July 06, 2020 at 11:46PM

Thanks! July 06, 2020 at 11:46PM

Awh I follow them on insta too, I hope you win :) July 06, 2020 at 11:45PM

That's a good wisdom. July 06, 2020 at 11:45PM

From high school, I knew that my experience of sexuality was different than my friends, who were straight. But at the same time, I didn’t feel like I was gay either. In college I learned there were more labels than just gay and straight. I didn’t identify with the asexual label until I read some personal stories on AVEN about what other asexuals felt/experienced as they were growing up and discovering their sexuality. I was like, “Oh, that’s me! These people are like me!” I related to those stories more than I related any allo experiences I knew from my friends, or from TV and books. But to be honest, it took about 3 years to really accept that part of myself. It was a process of going from “maybe I’m kind of ace” to “I’m probably ace” to “yup, I for sure am ace, I should buy a flag”. TLDR: I eased into the label, like getting into a pool real slow, getting used to the water inch by inch July 06, 2020 at 11:44PM

So you said typically on the right middle finger. It's specifically the right middle finger. Swingers have been using the black ring for a while and are cool with us claiming the right middle finger. So any other finger could send unintended signals. There were some weird conversations when that was being established. July 06, 2020 at 11:44PM

Are you from Australia? July 06, 2020 at 11:43PM

You dropped an I in that acronym my friend July 06, 2020 at 11:40PM

Woo! Okay my head is spinning. So, thing is in my head I kind of like the idea of a relationship with physical affection like holding hands and stuff, but if I start to think about what i would actually be comfortable with/do in real life I'm less keen on it. Also that's a really helpful way to put it- people always say, like "if you want to have sex with them that's romantic/sexual attraction, and if you don't then it's platonic" but I've always taken issue with that because I don't know that I'm sex-repused per se but it's not something that's a priority for me, and it isn't a framework that I use to look at my personal relationships. As for affection with friends...? That's also hard to answer because I don't know if I'm just not a touchy person or if I just don't have that kind of friendship with anyone or if I've got some sort of aversion to touch (which I kinda do) I guess I don't exactly mind stuff li

I’m not a fan of hugs, but because my family wasn’t into hugs - unless I was forced to hug a creepy uncle or virtual stranger at church, then it was crucial I hug them. However if my friend or patient needs a hug, they get a completely voluntary hug from me! ((hugs)) July 06, 2020 at 11:36PM

https://ift.tt/3e6g6SA Submitted July 06, 2020 at 11:28PM https://ift.tt/3e6g6SA

https://ift.tt/2Z7qKEJ Submitted July 06, 2020 at 11:31PM https://ift.tt/2Z7qKEJ

https://ift.tt/3f964BQ Submitted July 06, 2020 at 11:40PM https://ift.tt/3f964BQ

Hey guys, I’m at my wits end with our marriage at the moment, and I wanted to each out for advice. We’ve been married about 9 years. We have two children and we’re both fairly career-oriented people. So, our relationship has tended to take a backseat to our jobs and family commitments. We knew this wasn’t sustainable, so we’ve invested a lot of time in counseling and some soul-searching together. But there’s still one major problem that keeps popping up and ruining things for us, or for me in particular. The best way I can describe this is that my wife just seems to lack empathy for me. I mean, in a pretty serious way. If she messes up, or treats me poorly, she cannot seem to listen to how she’s hurt me or apologize in any way. She has this kind of perfectionist tendency where, if she ever does wrong, she’ll defend herself until the bitter end and make everything seem like it was my fault. It’s like “gaslighting” but without the trickery, it feels just like plain old manipulation.

I was talking with a friend who brought up the topic of a happy marriage. I’ve been married a long time, and I don’t know how to define my marriage — happy or unhappy. I know that sounds strange, but my parents’ marriage was so absolutely horrible that it seemed a success that I’d married a man who wasn’t a wife beater. We’ve been married for over 25 years. I love him, but I feel rather unimportant to him. I’m wondering if I’m settling for an unhappy marriage just for convenience more than anything else. We don’t laugh much together anymore, and have an all but sexless marriage (his choice more than mine.) So I’m asking Reddit, how do you know that you’re in a happy marriage (assuming that you are)? Submitted July 06, 2020 at 11:50PM I was talking with a friend who brought up the topic of a happy marriage. I’ve been married a long time, and I don’t know how to define my marriage — happy or unhappy. I know that sounds strange, but my parents’ marriage was so absolutely horrible

I’m (31F) fairly new to dating again after an almost 6year relationship. I’m also fairly new to this page so I’m sure that this type of question has to of come up before. What are everyone’s thoughts on sex on the first date? To give some of my personal backstory, I was in an extremely non sexual relationship for about 4 years of my previous relationship. It didn’t start that way, I can’t even remember when we stopped having sex as often. But when I say not often I mean every 2-3 months was when we would TRY (he had a finishing up the job problem which made me self conscious thinking it was my fault. I have had sex since this relationship and am 100% positive I wasn’t the problem). I’ve been very open about discussing this issue in my previous relationship because I don’t ever want to be in that type of relationship again. I’m a sexual person and I want to be with someone who can satisfy my needs and me his. I had a really great first date with a guy recently and we ended up fooling

Any other librarians on the dating apps? When I meet dating partners out in the world, it's so much easier to talk about what I do. But now in the time of Covid, I'm on the apps for conversation and perhaps a spark and I'm almost hesitant to put it on my online profile since I get so. many. inappropriate. comments. They range from "Ooh sexy librarian" to full on fantasies about what they've always wanted to do with a "naughty librarian". I just sigh and swipe away, but I wonder if I should just reveal this tidbit about myself after some messages. But I'm also proud of my work and think it's cool. But I'm also tired of what seems to be an invitation to objectification of my profession. Submitted July 06, 2020 at 11:39PM Any other librarians on the dating apps? When I meet dating partners out in the world, it's so much easier to talk about what I do. But now in the time of Covid, I'm on the apps for conversation and perhaps