Demisexual is when you function as an asexual until you form a particular connection with someone, and after that you function as an allosexual with them with full sexual attraction. You can be anywhere on the asexual or allosexual spectrums. Demiromantic is the same, except romantic attraction instead of sexual attraction. It sounds to me like you would be asexual and demiromantic. Asexuality is very specifically about not experiencing sexual attraction towards others. That's the entire deal. If you don't experience sexual attraction towards others, you're asexual. It's not all that complicated, really. It doesn't matter why. Could be trauma, hormones, or you were just always that way. Cause is irrelevant to the label. Asexuality has nothing to do with: romantic attraction, kissing, cuddling, gender preferences, masturbation, porn, kinks, or actually having sex. It's just about sexual attraction towards others. Some sex repulsed asexuals will use porn or ma

Wanting to post this myself and was checking whether it already had been! May 01, 2021 at 12:01AM

Also you owe him no pleasantries at all. April 30, 2021 at 11:56PM

delicious April 30, 2021 at 11:54PM

I'm not sure what advice you're looking for. Opening the marriage is a no go, sex is a no go - are you willing to give up sex for the rest of your life or not? Is there a third option I'm not seeing besides you committing to never having sex again and you guys getting divorced? Sorry if that's harsh, just I've experienced the resentment that can build in allo partners over time. Sometimes it's better for everyone involved to meet the hard realities head on instead of putting it off April 30, 2021 at 11:54PM

I tried to date a girl as an ace. Like her romantically, going well. She came out as aro ace. Now there’s two of us! In a small backwoods school. And I think I know a third. April 30, 2021 at 11:52PM

Yet April 30, 2021 at 11:51PM

Fried chicken mmmmmmmmmmm April 30, 2021 at 11:51PM

Okay, thank you. I'll do my best. April 30, 2021 at 11:49PM

I don't think you're going to hear "you're too young" on this sub. You are valid. Just because I didn't figure it out until I was 35 doesn't mean you can't figure it out earlier. I think you're very right to be annoyed about this kind of crap. April 30, 2021 at 11:49PM

Thanks! I'll definitely look that up. :) I actually really love the crunchy feeling, too. Used to prefer bare feet to shoes growing up; there's something comforting about feeling the ground with your feet (for me, anyway). :) April 30, 2021 at 11:49PM

This!! April 30, 2021 at 11:49PM

Oh god no don't talk to him about it. I would definitely talk to the therapist whenever you can do so privately. April 30, 2021 at 11:47PM

I think that feel good crunchy sound you’re describing is asmr! Not everyone gets it but when you do it usually is a feel good tingly feeling. Try looking it up on youtube, I usually like listening to unintentional asmr. April 30, 2021 at 11:45PM

It's not your fault. I just don't really know what to do. I want to talk to my therapist about this but I've been doing virtual appointments and live with other people so I don't really want to say it out loud. The idea of people finding out is kind of terrifying honestly. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I've been running over different scenarios of me telling him what we did was rape and how he'd react and I just don't think I can do it. It doesn't help that my therapist has the same first name as his mom... April 30, 2021 at 11:45PM

Very unprofessional on her part. Your feelings and experiences are completely valid. April 30, 2021 at 11:44PM

thanks :) there are a lot of cool flags in the community, I bet yours is good too. April 30, 2021 at 11:43PM

Pay no mind to what they recommend, i only ever put my goals, my profession and time zone, sometimes age and have had luck. If you do decide to revive your discord account send me a dm and I'll add you to my friends list. April 30, 2021 at 11:42PM

If consent was not given then yes. I'm sorry. April 30, 2021 at 11:42PM

“A ring bearer” love that 😂 April 30, 2021 at 11:39PM

nom April 30, 2021 at 11:39PM

Thanks for the recommend! I had a quick look, not sure if giving out personal info like they recommend is my jam. I suppose I could revive my Discord account... I'm a beginner as well, so I might hit you up in a thoroughly non-creepy fashion. :) April 30, 2021 at 11:39PM

We did some stuff (I won't go into detail). I did not provide consent and if I were asked I would have said no I think. I don't know honestly, I know I didn't like what we did. April 30, 2021 at 11:39PM

Nah, you are not the only one. Porn repulses me and erotic fiction bores me. April 29, 2021 at 11:58PM

Thanks! I’m excited to try again with different colors April 29, 2021 at 11:55PM

... Sugarcrash! April 29, 2021 at 11:53PM

I guess I wasn't born yet then lol April 29, 2021 at 11:52PM

treason April 29, 2021 at 11:52PM

fair enough April 29, 2021 at 11:51PM

You haven't lived until you've tried garlic bread April 29, 2021 at 11:51PM

Tbh when I see porn it makes me sick my stomach and I don't know why, it's not like I hate sex all my friends are really horny but when people talk about it or I watch porn it makes me really sick April 29, 2021 at 11:50PM

I never had garlic bread either. Well, at least that's something that I can do myself. April 29, 2021 at 11:49PM

At least you have garlic bread April 29, 2021 at 11:49PM

Never have I ever i stated "never have I ever had a crush on someone" and everyone just stared at me confused than didn't believe me April 29, 2021 at 11:48PM

I live in Argentina and no one sells it here, so it'd be ridiculously difficult to get- and probably quite expensive April 29, 2021 at 11:47PM

Why April 29, 2021 at 11:46PM

That's awesome! What a neat outcome! April 29, 2021 at 11:46PM

Cruel. I'll never be able to have maple syrup ;-; April 29, 2021 at 11:46PM

I recently learnt that "Netflix and chill" isn't just watching a Netflix show and chilling... I wonder who the heck made it sexual. So annoying. April 29, 2021 at 11:45PM

Never April 29, 2021 at 11:45PM

Ur right April 29, 2021 at 11:45PM

Rarely does it do anything for me. Honestly any sort of sex scene whether it be porn or just a clip from a show just makes me uncomfortable even if I'm watching alone April 29, 2021 at 11:45PM

STOP YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY April 29, 2021 at 11:44PM

To be fair that song's intended meaning also makes no sense so like ¯_(ツ)_/¯ April 29, 2021 at 11:43PM

To be fair that song's intended meaning also makes no sense so like ¯_(ツ)_/¯ April 29, 2021 at 11:43PM

Unlike pluto. April 29, 2021 at 11:43PM

i think of it as orthogonal because we often say that asexuality is a lack of attraction for any reason any reason would include reasons that can be "cured," like biological/hormonal issues or psychological issues. i do not believe that understanding a cause or attributing to trauma is necessarily aphobic. i think aphobic behavior is when someone tries to fix something that is not broken. as part of that it is important to know that a response to trauma or an "imbalance" is not by itself "broken". the fundamental thing about a medical disorder is that it has to be an actual disorder. that is, if you have all of the symptoms of, say, depression but if it doesn't have any actual negative impact on your life, then that is not a clinical or pathological condition, and you wouldn't be diagnosed with a disorder. you wouldn't actual be "broken" and there would not be actually be anything to fix. if you are perfectly happy and content

thank you!! this was actually super helpful :)) April 29, 2021 at 12:05AM

Thank you for sharing this! You helped to make my day better. It always helps to know that there are others and I will start looking at how many are online to remind of that. I hope you have a wonderful day too! April 29, 2021 at 12:05AM

Trigger warnings need further clarification saying "Trigger Warning!!!" Is like saying "Hey Incoming!!!" without saying what from or where from April 29, 2021 at 12:03AM

MY ANSWER IS "BACK SCRATCH" TIL THE DAY I DIE April 29, 2021 at 12:02AM

Panro ace right here, we be unrecognized and dismissed in both April 29, 2021 at 12:00AM

Hey so do you think you are possibly aromantic now? Its been a month and I would like an update since I'm curious!! :)) April 29, 2021 at 12:00AM

Huh...is allosexual just...plain out not ace gang? How does that work? April 29, 2021 at 12:00AM

Do you mean aro? April 28, 2021 at 11:58PM

It's alright man, I've had a few people lie to me on it too April 28, 2021 at 11:57PM

Yea that makes sense, sorry if I seemed hostile in my first comment, I’m just so used to attention grabbers that I tend to follow the rule of thumb saying that if someone blurts their sexuality when no one asked or in a situation that didn’t have anything to do with it they are probably faking it April 28, 2021 at 11:56PM

Thank you! As I only recently came to terms with how I feel, I wasn’t super familiar with whether calling myself ace would be in poor form or not. And honestly, I’m feel pretty close to ace most of the time, as I’ve only ever felt what I would call “real” sexual attraction to one person, my ex. April 28, 2021 at 11:55PM

Well don't give them a reason to bring up the handbook. Do it as a "place for LGBT people to hang out, chat and play games together" not a "awareness/support thing" Once you get your club you can do whatever activities you want you just need to sell it off nicely to the school. (Speaking from experience) April 28, 2021 at 11:55PM

I often find it's because straight people get the right to flaunt how straight they are without being harassed or even getting assaulted. LGBTQ+ people don't have that privilege, and therefore tend to be really REALLY open about it, to the point it can get annoying. To me, sexuality really doesn't matter unless someone's being assaulted because they're gay April 28, 2021 at 11:53PM

Do what makes you comfortable! Demi is on the ace spectrum, and if you feel more comfortable saying you’re ace for now, then go for it! You’re 100% valid, and demisexuality is 100% valid! It’s not “straight with extra steps” it’s its own sexuality! April 28, 2021 at 11:53PM

sometimes I'd like to so i can have a sense of community but im scared because some lgbt+ say that we are just straights trying to fit in the community or that we are not oppressed enough so i just don't say im part of it April 28, 2021 at 11:52PM

That's a fair point. With practice, it probably wouldn't be as big an issue. Yeah, it wasn't the only thing in my mind at the time but it abruptly started using like 80% of my brain capacity. A lot of "don't move. don't do anything unusual. don't go kiss her... holy heck she's beautiful... shit, I feel like I'm gonna do something involuntary. hold onto something solid. don't stare too long." Also, I got this very very distracting and persistent mental movie of the two of us jumping onto the table between us and making out passionately despite the fact that the were like five other people there. Just that whole entire movie trope of making out and knocking stuff off the table. I tried to make that go away so I could concentrate on the card game we were all playing but it kept popping into my head every 30 seconds or so. As an aside, this was like a week before we all went home for the pandemic last spring. I didn't really talk wit

I'm surprised even your use of the word "partner" turned into a thing. I did not realize that was still uncommon enough for a straight couple to use that it would be noteworthy. April 28, 2021 at 11:51PM

Clubs represent grayro aces, right? April 28, 2021 at 11:50PM

Multiple queer or ally YouTubers I follow have been recommending https://www.pridecounseling.com/ , perhaps that's worth a shot? Apparently their therapists are required to have like 3 years of experience in LGBTQ+ related studies, so they will probably be a lot more open and knowledgeable? Good luck in any case! ❤ April 28, 2021 at 11:50PM

It just feels like different sexualities are constantly striving for the most attention, and I’m ace and I can agree that even we do this sometimes, I just don’t understand why people can’t just have their sexuality as a part of themselves and not make it their personality April 28, 2021 at 11:48PM

If I was alloromantic I'd probably feel welcome, but I'm grayro so whoever I can feel attracted to isn't really an important part of my life. I don't feel welcome in aro spaces either. April 28, 2021 at 11:47PM

"It isn't the sexuality that's the problem, it's the person" Bisexuality is often misunderstood by the general public and that's why biphobia often exists outside of homophobia itself, like aphobia. There's gonna be bad people in any sort of community. Saying it isn't one of the lesser understood sexualities is harmful as fuck. April 28, 2021 at 11:47PM

Sorry, idk how texting works, which one is you... and are ya winning 😂 April 28, 2021 at 12:05AM

Ah I appreciate you saying that. I met a guy on tinder that i wanted to have sex with and i was almost rushing to do it before i turned 20. Makes me feel bad now because i wouldve been a verse in that situation which im not 100% comfortable with. Im glad it never went through (although my ocd makes it feel like it did). And i also just feel myself getting older and spending the “best years of my life” in a state of sexual confusion and desperation April 28, 2021 at 12:04AM

And not the live action Jughead that people probably think of at this point. April 28, 2021 at 12:02AM

Ive been on zoloft since junior year of high school actually, i was mainly put on it to control panic attacks. I still sometimes get them. Im on 150mg of the medication right now and ill probably try switching to something else when my academics are a bit more stable April 28, 2021 at 12:02AM

Right? Like Perry the Platypus was my favorite as a kid and I still love Phineas and Ferb. I understand people saying he's only an animal in a kids show but this is the representation that has meant the most to me. Idk if that's silly, but this honestly makes me pretty happy. April 28, 2021 at 12:01AM

Ive somewhat mentioned the issue and i kinda forget what my prescriber said about that but ill mention it again during my next appointment. Its probably better that I change meds anyways because i still feel depressed. April 28, 2021 at 12:01AM

Well that's just antisocial April 28, 2021 at 12:00AM

I'd love to live in Washington either DC or state April 27, 2021 at 11:46PM

Crazy lawyer with 3 cats April 27, 2021 at 11:46PM

Different kinds of attraction: Aesthetic: They look beautiful. Romantic: They make my heart beat faster thinking about doing nice things for them to make them happy. Sensual: I want to touch and be touched by them. Sexual: I want to take off their clothes and... Libido isn't directed at someone. It's just an overall desire for sexual release of some kind. Some sex repulsed asexuals have high libido and it annoys them. This might just be oddly worded, but I felt the need to say that labels need to reflect you, rather than the other way around. It's always okay for you to want to have sex. The question is if you are classified as asexual if you "want sex". Many asexuals desire sex. That's part of "libido", rather than "sexual attraction towards others". Many asexuals also enjoy it as a part of romantic love or just for the pleasure of it. Sex can be a very pleasurable physical experience. The only thing that defines asexuals is a l

Im a little younger than you but in my experience so far with two women with different genitals, some sex acts can be exciting and enjoyable but the act of sex is just ugh. April 27, 2021 at 11:44PM

Perry, the trans ace icon April 27, 2021 at 11:43PM

I'm not exactly an expert here, so hopefully someone with more knowledge will come along with a better answer, but I'll try to help however I can. I'm also unsure about my own sexuality, so take my words with a grain of salt. I can't definitely say what your sexuality is, but I would think if you've ever looked at a person and seriously thought that you would want to have sex with them because of their appearance, then you're not ace?? But I don't really think my advice is super practical tbh. I'm pretty confused myself. If you're that unsure, maybe consider exploring the Grey-Ace label? You could only feel that attraction very rarely. Anyway, hope my comment didn't hurt more than help, but it's really just important for you to feel comfortable with a label. You can chnage it at any time, and calling yourself Ace even if you're not 100% sure-- if that sounds good to you, then do it! April 27, 2021 at 11:43PM

lmao this is perfectly fine I honestly wish they put nothing at all so the sensitive ones wouldn’t complain April 27, 2021 at 11:38PM

Also, Brimstone and Rose's just did a Q&A and included their characters bios. Not only is the author Ace, but one of the main characters is demi. It's a fantasy romance webtoon. April 27, 2021 at 11:32PM

If demisexuality doesn't seem like the right fit, maybe greysexual is closer? Or aceflux? You can find the definitions for those easily if you haven't come across them already, such as on the LGBTA Wiki, but they should be in the wiki here as well. April 27, 2021 at 11:31PM

Wait we have three things in common.. Thats awesome! (In case you were wondering, Skyrim, D&D and asexuality) April 27, 2021 at 11:29PM

Yes there are two, but one doesn't have the #, the one that has it is the one I mean April 27, 2021 at 11:29PM

It does sound pretty stressful I don't know if it's better or worse I haven't done either yet. Age 23 April 27, 2021 at 11:20PM

Yeah, it's easy to call someone/something asexual when they would never be involved in anything sexual in the first place. April 27, 2021 at 11:19PM

I love these! Now I need some black and white nail polish to do this for myself April 27, 2021 at 11:16PM

Poggers! April 27, 2021 at 11:15PM

Petition to make garlic bread the official asexual food. I’m not even ace I just think it would be funny April 27, 2021 at 11:13PM

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be invalidating. I don't question your experience, and I don't doubt you experienced what your experienced. Please me try again. I'll be more specific and concrete. I don't know if you identify as allo or ace now, but you seem to be saying that you were allo when you were very young. did you know you were allo at that age, or did you figure out what those feelings meant later on? i understand that you felt differently towards girls then boys. but i feel differently towards girls then boys now, and for my whole life. the thing is that i thought those feelings were sexual, but, on reflection, i think i was wrong about that. when i want to hold hands with my wife now, or even if i want to kiss her, it is not a sexual feeling in that it is not a precursor to sex. there is just a symbolism to those acts. but i had to do stuff with people before i understood that the urge that i felt after a kiss was not sexual. i had to try things to

How would not having this options help anyone? April 27, 2021 at 12:03AM

That's different from sexual attraction. That's romantic attraction or something like that. April 26, 2021 at 11:51PM

I keep hearing about diff aspec dating apps but none of them seem to take off. Which is frustrating, since it’s kind of hard to have an effective dating app without a solid user base April 26, 2021 at 11:50PM

Since you don't experience sexual attraction then yeah, you're still asexual. Aces can be sex positive, sex neutral, sex repulsed, or can flop between all of those depending on a number of variables for each person April 26, 2021 at 11:46PM

Yes you still are asexual. If you still like sex but aren’t sexually attracted to people, your most likely a sex-favorable ace. Wich is what you just described. Ultimately it’s up to you if you consider yourself ace April 26, 2021 at 11:42PM

As a so ace it almost hurts kinda guy, it’s not the sexualization that bothers me. It’s the objectification. Honestly I’d prefer it if everyone just didn’t care about it so much. Like people being naked or having sex shouldn’t be a big deal, but we make it a big deal and it just ruins it. Plus making it taboo just makes it worse for everyone cause then it’s hidden everywhere and slipped into everything. April 26, 2021 at 11:41PM

Yep, still asexual! April 26, 2021 at 11:41PM

I believe i am demisexual but i also think i might slightly be aromantic aswell or atleast demiromantic April 26, 2021 at 11:39PM

Thank you, you too. April 26, 2021 at 11:39PM

I fantasize about being a shapeshifter, and can also turn invisible, and going around saving animals and people from bad situations and secretly feeding homeless people by being a doggie and carrying a bag of fresh food to them. Nothing sexual about that. I have never had a sexual fantasy or dream or anything like that ever in my life! I think it’s safe to say I’m Ace! Hahaha April 26, 2021 at 11:37PM

I had a 'christian' tell me that I was going to hell for my sins...of not having sex? April 26, 2021 at 11:37PM

Friendly dinosaur in a pot! April 26, 2021 at 11:32PM

lds pan aces here too 😅 April 26, 2021 at 11:30PM

It reminds me of those weird slimy monsters from Zelda a link to the past. April 26, 2021 at 11:27PM

I mean I don’t really care how sexual society is as long as nobody is discriminated against because of sexuality April 26, 2021 at 11:16PM

OMG that’s an awesome fantasy!!! April 26, 2021 at 11:14PM

I said decent not great. Compared to the humid hot cesspool that is Florida anything is decent April 26, 2021 at 11:14PM

Christian Ace, right here. Though, I will say the youth at my church, at least some of the friend groups I hung out with, had... let’s just say colorful gossip on who did what the night before. It was uncomfortable 😐. April 26, 2021 at 11:10PM

no, in that situation, most likely not. hopefully, though, you'll find a way for things to work out in the end April 26, 2021 at 11:10PM