/u/askwomenthrowaway23 on Confused

I absolutely love the organization of your post. Anyways, sexual activity is not the same thing as sexual desire. You can enjoy sex and even want to have it and still be asexual as long as sexual desire is missing. Enjoying the physical sensation of sex, sensual stuff that often accompanies sex like the feel of your partner’s hand on your skin, and making your partner happy are all reasons you can enjoy or want sex, reasons that can be totally separate from sexual attraction/desire.

Sexuality is fluid. That said, a lot of people categorize themselves based on what they feel right now and if they believe they would continue feeling that way forever if sexuality weren’t fluid and change weren’t possible. If you believe you won’t ever feel sexual attraction or desire if it weren’t for the possibility of fluidity, you’re probably asexual. If you believe you might feel it only if you get close enough to someone, you’re probably demisexual. If you believe you might feel it but only very rarely, you’re probably graysexual. Not sure if experiencing sexual attraction rarely and only for someone you’re close to would make you both demisexual and graysexual—it sounds like it would but I do not know how these labels work, if there’s a separate term for demisexuals who experience sexual attraction rarely, so it might be interesting to look into.

As for the porn/erotic fanfic/fantasies with women, and the fantasies always having the people nameless and faceless, look into aegosexuality. That’s still a-spec, but otherwise, I’m also not sure how that works with other labels, if you could consider yourself aegosexual and graysexual or if there’s better terms to use.





April 22, 2021 at 11:16PM
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