Hey everyone! I (20m) have run into a bit of a conundrum, and I'm not entirely sure how to proceed. Two years ago, I met a woman at a scholarship conference. After talking for a bit, I discovered that she was actually a cousin of someone I went to school with, and she would also be transferring to the same university I attend after she completed a year at community college. We only spent a couple hours together during that scholarship conference, but we seem to have a lot of similarities, and I would love to get to know her better. Since we both go to the same college, I'm thinking that would be the best place to interact with her; she's a medical major, however, so none of my classes will ever be in the same building as hers, and she leaves campus at the end of the day. How should I go about getting to know her? Should I start hanging out in the medical building and hope to see her, even though I'll stick out due to a lack of scrubs? Should I contact her cousin (who ...

It’s so hard for me not to confuse good sex with have an emotional connection with someone. Sex is an important part of the relationship for me, but that’s left me hurt in the past by people who only prioritize sex. If you add good sex + physical closeness/intimacy I am definitely developing feelings for you. I feel like I’m at the age (28) where I dont have time to have a friends with benefits but I also feel like I’m rushing things to assume after a only few good sessions that it’s worth pursuing because heaven forbid I’m with out good sex anymore. Also there are many men who will lie about their intentions in order to continue the good sex. So yeah basically dopamine floods my mind and I start acting goofy and behave like an addict trying to get my fix. It can be very hard to filter out the people who are meant for me but might not be stellar in bed at first OR the people who are not meant for me but I happen to have mattress chemistry with. What even is chemistry? Or a sp...

I've been seeing this girl for a year now, everything seemed great, until a few months back one of her exes started commenting nasty stuff on her social media accounts(my friend and some family members saw it too), since he stays out of town, the best option we agreed on was to block him to stop his ranting. I jus recently discovered that they've been talking behind my back and appear to be good friends at it, and I kinda feel betrayed by her actions after what he did, am I tolerating a toxic relationship? Maybe I should leave? I really don't know what to do because this really frustrate me Submitted July 22, 2020 at 12:03AM I've been seeing this girl for a year now, everything seemed great, until a few months back one of her exes started commenting nasty stuff on her social media accounts(my friend and some family members saw it too), since he stays out of town, the best option we agreed on was to block him to stop his ranting. I jus recently discovered that the...

I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of weeks and after our 5th date we’re texting later at night and she says “you’re slowly growing on me” and maybe I’m overthinking it but this kind of expression seems kinda off in this instance, like as if I made a bad first impression and now I’m ~slowly~ getting up there? Girls I’ve dated before her have always been clear with their expressions with either “I like seeing you/ hanging with you” after that many dates, which gave me a good idea if they’re into me. I don’t want to ask her what she meant by that but I thought I’d ask you, maybe I’m lingering on this too much and should ignore it. Submitted July 22, 2020 at 12:03AM I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of weeks and after our 5th date we’re texting later at night and she says “you’re slowly growing on me” and maybe I’m overthinking it but this kind of expression seems kinda off in this instance, like as if I made a bad first impression and now I’m ~slowly~ getting up there? ...

Welcome to the community. I had a similar realization. It was hard for me to accept that I could be gay and Asexual, until I realized it wasn't a contradiction. But yeah, don't let anyone tell you what you feel isn't real. It's very possible to be gay/straight and Asexual. July 22, 2020 at 12:01AM

Cookies huh? Not as good as cake but I'm in. July 21, 2020 at 11:55PM

I am in awe I want a deck lol July 21, 2020 at 11:55PM

I think, not only is it from the joke of cake being better than sex(a truth, honestly), but I believe it's the logo of something aswell? Don't remember clearly, but when I looked into the source of our absolute fascination of cake, it was mentioned that it was a logo of something(which I think was like ase centered, but I am not sure since I don't remember it well). July 21, 2020 at 11:54PM

O, this post reminded me of an identity I saw before so I went and looked and suddenly not only have I found that it matches you pretty darn well, but I think it fits me pretty well too. 'Bellusromantic: A word for people who are uncomfortable with, repulsed by, or otherwise do not want a committed relationship, but are okay with or interested in some behaviors traditionally associated with romantic attraction. This term does not imply the romantic orientation of the person who uses it" I think this can be paired with a queerplatonic relationship aswell. July 21, 2020 at 11:50PM

Not yet; Theyre not on Netflix. I mean to renew my CrunchyRoll subscription when the pandemic’s over and I get back to full-time work. July 21, 2020 at 11:44PM

Ikr July 21, 2020 at 11:42PM

This is funny. We don't experience discrimination whilst you actively discriminate us... July 21, 2020 at 11:41PM

That argument is fucking layers of stupid. "They don't experience the same discrimination as LGBT" BRUH none of the fucking letters in the acronym experience the same discrimination. NONE OF THEM. Lesbians, gays, bis, and trans people ALL have unique forms of discrimination in the same way aro and ace people do. There's a reason why its L-G-B-T and not just 'gay'. Because there are so many unique experiences to every letter in this community. July 21, 2020 at 11:31PM

I mean my parents would kick me out, and also tell me asexual aren't real so I think their point in invalid. Plus we aren't about oppression. July 21, 2020 at 11:30PM

For me, platonic attraction is what I feel for my two best friends. I have other friends, but they’re not special like my two besties. But I don’t want to date my best friends. Romantic attraction for me is wanting to go on dates and be extra close, both physically and emotionally. I want a long-term relationship. And for me it’s almost inextricable from sensual attraction - I can’t quite fathom one without the other. July 21, 2020 at 11:24PM

As I understand it, finding someone sexually attractive is the same as wanting to have sex with them. But sexual attraction is different from romantic attraction which is itself different from both sensual or aesthetic attraction. July 21, 2020 at 11:21PM

According understanding, sexual attraction is when you are aroused by someone. Often, people use sexual attraction as a way to rate people’s attractiveness and because of that, even if what you’re feeling is actually aesthetic attraction, you could be used to hearing those terms describe attractiveness and therefore also use them. I had a conversation with my friends last week about an attractive celebrity and they were talking about how they thought he was attractive but they weren’t attracted to him. It made me pretty confused because I didn’t really understand the difference. A lot of asexuals aren’t sex repulsed, we just aren’t sexually attracted to people. It could be that you’re mistaking your aesthetic attraction for sexual attraction and therefore using sexual words to describe it but maybe I’m just projecting. Hope this helps! July 21, 2020 at 11:19PM

Remember to use the crosspost function or show the original poster by not cropping the image! July 21, 2020 at 11:17PM

Hey, I don’t often reply here but I saw your post and just wanted to say congratulations on figuring it out! You’re totally valid. Realising I was asexual was a lightbulb moment for me, but I still identify as gay because I’m homoromantic and I feel like being a gay ace is the best fit for me. It’s totally possible to be both of those things. July 21, 2020 at 11:09PM

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