It’s not about sanitizing it it’s about making it accessible not sexual July 13, 2022 at 11:46PM

Nearly 4 years on Tinder, Bumble, FB Dating, and across the board, I’ve sent out hundreds of initial messages, of the “hey, nice to meet you👋” variety, and gotten 3 replies back, who cut communication after just 10 texts. I’ve just been using the basic versions of the dating apps, but do the apps not actually send your messages unless you upgrade to the subscription service? Submitted July 14, 2022 at 12:06AM Nearly 4 years on Tinder, Bumble, FB Dating, and across the board, I’ve sent out hundreds of initial messages, of the “hey, nice to meet you👋” variety, and gotten 3 replies back, who cut communication after just 10 texts. I’ve just been using the basic versions of the dating apps, but do the apps not actually send your messages unless you upgrade to the subscription service?

So I 25(M) was chatting with this girl 25(F) for a while and we sort of fell out. But one day we meet eye contact in the gym. To be polite I later texted her saying hi and after a while of messaging we decided to hangout at a bar. We had a fantastic night out! We played pool, throw darts, had flirty banter and I was even slick enough to pay off her bar tabs before she could. Then about 3am the bar was closing and she wasn’t sober enough to drive. She said her mother would pick her up so we talked until then. Before she left, she invited me to a small get together for 4th of July. Naturally I accepted seeing as I didn’t have anything else to do that day. (Looking back on it she may have invited me cause I told her I wasn’t gonna join my parents cause I thought they should get to enjoy the day by themselves) Anyways, the day comes and I show up and meet up with her, her friend and her friend’s boyfriend. She wore a rocking bikini which is something I didn’t see in her insta so I thoug...

I'm perfectly capable of seeing consenting adults in leather gear or whatever they enjoy. If it makes me uncomfortable, I am also perfectly capable of walking away. July 13, 2022 at 11:46PM

Well it looks like you’re just gonna get more mixed messages because I think it is. At Pride I saw Pride flags for leather, rubber, pet play, and no one had a problem July 13, 2022 at 11:45PM

Yes - everything you said is accurate. People can use it that way, it can be non sexual etc etc. but almost always when it’s used that way it’s in VERY specific contexts. Like your example - people already in a kink community expanding on the nature of their kink and explaining that it has non sexual dynamics. THATS NOT HOW PEOPLE NORMALLY USE IT THOUGH. That’s specific to a kink community which is already a VERY tiny subsection of the population. If I’m talking to someone about ‘kinky people in a protest’ what are the chances we are talking about NONSEXUAL people? Zero. Absolutely zero. In the context of this post the word ‘kinky’ cannot be separated form sexuality. In other contexts it can be - sure. That’s like going to a tech convention and saying that because people there use the term ‘internet speed’ to refer to specifically the response time of the connection, in all contexts thats a meaning that should be considered. Absolutely not. If someone tells you their internet is fas...