i think of it as orthogonal because we often say that asexuality is a lack of attraction for any reason any reason would include reasons that can be "cured," like biological/hormonal issues or psychological issues. i do not believe that understanding a cause or attributing to trauma is necessarily aphobic. i think aphobic behavior is when someone tries to fix something that is not broken. as part of that it is important to know that a response to trauma or an "imbalance" is not by itself "broken". the fundamental thing about a medical disorder is that it has to be an actual disorder. that is, if you have all of the symptoms of, say, depression but if it doesn't have any actual negative impact on your life, then that is not a clinical or pathological condition, and you wouldn't be diagnosed with a disorder. you wouldn't actual be "broken" and there would not be actually be anything to fix. if you are perfectly happy and content ...

thank you!! this was actually super helpful :)) April 29, 2021 at 12:05AM

Thank you for sharing this! You helped to make my day better. It always helps to know that there are others and I will start looking at how many are online to remind of that. I hope you have a wonderful day too! April 29, 2021 at 12:05AM

Trigger warnings need further clarification saying "Trigger Warning!!!" Is like saying "Hey Incoming!!!" without saying what from or where from April 29, 2021 at 12:03AM

MY ANSWER IS "BACK SCRATCH" TIL THE DAY I DIE April 29, 2021 at 12:02AM

Panro ace right here, we be unrecognized and dismissed in both April 29, 2021 at 12:00AM

Hey so do you think you are possibly aromantic now? Its been a month and I would like an update since I'm curious!! :)) April 29, 2021 at 12:00AM

Huh...is allosexual just...plain out not ace gang? How does that work? April 29, 2021 at 12:00AM

Do you mean aro? April 28, 2021 at 11:58PM

It's alright man, I've had a few people lie to me on it too April 28, 2021 at 11:57PM

Yea that makes sense, sorry if I seemed hostile in my first comment, I’m just so used to attention grabbers that I tend to follow the rule of thumb saying that if someone blurts their sexuality when no one asked or in a situation that didn’t have anything to do with it they are probably faking it April 28, 2021 at 11:56PM

Thank you! As I only recently came to terms with how I feel, I wasn’t super familiar with whether calling myself ace would be in poor form or not. And honestly, I’m feel pretty close to ace most of the time, as I’ve only ever felt what I would call “real” sexual attraction to one person, my ex. April 28, 2021 at 11:55PM

Well don't give them a reason to bring up the handbook. Do it as a "place for LGBT people to hang out, chat and play games together" not a "awareness/support thing" Once you get your club you can do whatever activities you want you just need to sell it off nicely to the school. (Speaking from experience) April 28, 2021 at 11:55PM

I often find it's because straight people get the right to flaunt how straight they are without being harassed or even getting assaulted. LGBTQ+ people don't have that privilege, and therefore tend to be really REALLY open about it, to the point it can get annoying. To me, sexuality really doesn't matter unless someone's being assaulted because they're gay April 28, 2021 at 11:53PM

Do what makes you comfortable! Demi is on the ace spectrum, and if you feel more comfortable saying you’re ace for now, then go for it! You’re 100% valid, and demisexuality is 100% valid! It’s not “straight with extra steps” it’s its own sexuality! April 28, 2021 at 11:53PM

sometimes I'd like to so i can have a sense of community but im scared because some lgbt+ say that we are just straights trying to fit in the community or that we are not oppressed enough so i just don't say im part of it April 28, 2021 at 11:52PM

That's a fair point. With practice, it probably wouldn't be as big an issue. Yeah, it wasn't the only thing in my mind at the time but it abruptly started using like 80% of my brain capacity. A lot of "don't move. don't do anything unusual. don't go kiss her... holy heck she's beautiful... shit, I feel like I'm gonna do something involuntary. hold onto something solid. don't stare too long." Also, I got this very very distracting and persistent mental movie of the two of us jumping onto the table between us and making out passionately despite the fact that the were like five other people there. Just that whole entire movie trope of making out and knocking stuff off the table. I tried to make that go away so I could concentrate on the card game we were all playing but it kept popping into my head every 30 seconds or so. As an aside, this was like a week before we all went home for the pandemic last spring. I didn't really talk wit...

I'm surprised even your use of the word "partner" turned into a thing. I did not realize that was still uncommon enough for a straight couple to use that it would be noteworthy. April 28, 2021 at 11:51PM

Clubs represent grayro aces, right? April 28, 2021 at 11:50PM

Multiple queer or ally YouTubers I follow have been recommending https://www.pridecounseling.com/ , perhaps that's worth a shot? Apparently their therapists are required to have like 3 years of experience in LGBTQ+ related studies, so they will probably be a lot more open and knowledgeable? Good luck in any case! ❤ April 28, 2021 at 11:50PM

It just feels like different sexualities are constantly striving for the most attention, and I’m ace and I can agree that even we do this sometimes, I just don’t understand why people can’t just have their sexuality as a part of themselves and not make it their personality April 28, 2021 at 11:48PM

If I was alloromantic I'd probably feel welcome, but I'm grayro so whoever I can feel attracted to isn't really an important part of my life. I don't feel welcome in aro spaces either. April 28, 2021 at 11:47PM

"It isn't the sexuality that's the problem, it's the person" Bisexuality is often misunderstood by the general public and that's why biphobia often exists outside of homophobia itself, like aphobia. There's gonna be bad people in any sort of community. Saying it isn't one of the lesser understood sexualities is harmful as fuck. April 28, 2021 at 11:47PM