Posts

Showing posts from August, 2020

/u/Kittylover9889 on Spongebob is NOT gay you dumb pricks, stop trying to take our only representative Mascot away from us. Damnit!

Well there is a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction, asexual is when you have no sexual attraction but that doesn’t mean you have no romantic attraction! That’s being aromantic. So since you still feel romantic attraction it has to be to someone meaning you can be straight, gay, lesbian, pan, bi, etc. The examples you used don’t work but most sexuality’s work with being asexual. August 31, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/Misterwuss on The greatest of struggles

No because setting the times takes precious seconds away from my time being able to watch avatar! August 31, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/Thunderclapsasquatch on The greatest of struggles

Just use a timer! August 31, 2020 at 11:49PM

/u/krba201076 on A while ago I posted about my ace shark and a commenter suggested I make an asexuwhale. Months later I have succeeded in doing so

This is adorable. You are so talented. August 31, 2020 at 11:48PM

/u/Maristine on Would you describe yourself as queer?

I prefer to call myself a sexual minority. I’m also hetero and cis. I’m not the type of person who would ever be called queer as a slur, so I don’t feel like I have the right to reclaim the term. Kind of like how Native or Asian people still can’t say the N word even though they are minorities in Europe and North America, because the N word was never used against them. That’s my opinion anyway. But if someone else with the same labels as me feel comfortable using queer to describe themselves, I’m not going to complain about it. That’s just how I feel about myself. August 31, 2020 at 11:37PM

/u/xhannah__ on A while ago I posted about my ace shark and a commenter suggested I make an asexuwhale. Months later I have succeeded in doing so

Love the whale 🐳🐋 August 31, 2020 at 11:36PM

/u/IguanaBox on I was browsing YouTube and this caught my attention.

They also covered it with a transparent layer so you can read it anyways August 31, 2020 at 11:36PM

/u/Maristine on I was browsing YouTube and this caught my attention.

They’re missing the gray but I can’t complain about free representation. August 31, 2020 at 11:32PM

/u/DuskBlue343 on The greatest of struggles

Is this going where I think it is? Lol August 31, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/AT-TE-212 on The greatest of struggles

This is too accurate August 31, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/claimingagate on The greatest of struggles

Garlic bread is life August 31, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/Skinny_ToothPick on dragons? garlic bread?

The idea is that all of these things are better than sex, garlic bread, cake, fantasy, anything cool really. August 31, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/DuskBlue343 on The greatest of struggles

Garlic bread is love August 31, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/DuskBlue343 on I think this belongs here :)

"Straight passing"? August 31, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/AceOfManyYears on I’m 62. It’s time.

Thanks. August 31, 2020 at 11:25PM

/u/mai_hai on Sometimes I forget I'm asexual...

Very often I too forget people aren't asexual by default. This reminds me one time I was at a friend's house, she grabbed a box and said "Look". It was a condoms box but I just saw it as a regular box and didn't realized what it actually was, so I was like "What? Is there something behind the box? Next to the box? What do you want me to look at?" She looked at me very confused, and I was even more confused. "These are condoms" "Ooohh,, right. I forgot people have those at their houses" Also, yesterday my friend showed me a pic of a BTS singer whose bulge was visible through the clothes and she told me "I want some of that" and I was like "?????????? Some of what? I don't get it, is this a meme?" She then explained it to me and it all made sense. August 31, 2020 at 11:25PM

/u/elizasummerbee on The greatest of struggles

How did you pick the two highest priorities in life to do at the same time??? Like, obviously the garlic bread is going to burn and you're going to have to pause Avatar to avoid a fire! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!! August 31, 2020 at 11:24PM

/u/doctercreeper on Black ace ppl

Hi August 31, 2020 at 11:18PM

/u/levelupgirl on The greatest of struggles

Like Extra Toasty Cheez-Its, I feel you August 31, 2020 at 11:15PM

/u/chvrchbat on Stolen from Twitter.

The Sims 3 was such a good game, I was obsessed with that. It bummed me out when it no longer worked on my laptop. I did that too, made gorgeous sims with no partners, always made them a loner in personality traits so they wouldn't need too much social interaction, and I'd focus intensely on their skills, job, building their wardrobe or house! 😂 Ah man those were the days. August 31, 2020 at 11:14PM

/u/ThatLB on The greatest of struggles

I’m fairly new to personally labeling myself part of the Ace community and even newer so reddit.......I might be crying right now because I’ve always been told that I haven’t found the right person, or that it’s weird that I dont find people sexually attractive. AVEN was where I started after realizing that I was different from the people around me. I’m not “out” because my mom thinks that life without having sex is like not having a life- and that I just haven’t started that part of my life yet. I’ve gone through puberty and I have tits shit but I’ve never thought about anyone romantically or sexually. My mom is trying to get me to date boys Because if I try, I’ll like it... sorry this is kinda meaningless and stupid. Sorry i know it’s selfish to unloadall this shit on random people. I just needed it somewhere. August 31, 2020 at 11:14PM

(29F) after almost 3 decades of hating my body, being self conscious, and avoiding physical/emotional intimacy- I’m trying to say screw it and stop letting it rule my dating life.

I have never had a serious relationship. Drunk hook ups, short term situationships, sneaking around with men I know I don’t even like- oh I’ve got those in tenfolds. I think it’s part hating my body, part rape trauma, part trust issues with men from my emotionally abusive father, and part fear of rejection. I also have never felt so alone in my life. I am independent, funny, empathetic, open, responsible, hardworking, friendly and physically attractive. I am told this, and I do have the privilege to feel love from other family members and friends. Yet I cannot get myself to fully believe any of this and push men away constantly who try to get close because I assume all the want is sex and to control me. I know I sound like a piece of work, but I’m fucking tired of this self sabotage. Has anyone had to rewire the way their brain works in order to experience intimacy? How did you go about it? I try to workout, eat healthy, avoid manipulative toxic people, create time and space for l

Would it be cringey if someone you were dating had their awards up?

This goes for both men and women. If you were just dating someone, went to their place and - I'll use my friend was an example - you saw that they had an Olympic medal up, is that tacky? At what point are you no longer able to have awards/certificates up? Is an elementary school first place cringey whereas a university first place isn't? Is a Master's degree diploma acceptable whereas a Bachelor's isn't? I just need some advice in this area. Thank you Submitted August 31, 2020 at 11:57PM This goes for both men and women. If you were just dating someone, went to their place and - I'll use my friend was an example - you saw that they had an Olympic medal up, is that tacky?At what point are you no longer able to have awards/certificates up? Is an elementary school first place cringey whereas a university first place isn't? Is a Master's degree diploma acceptable whereas a Bachelor's isn't?I just need some advice in this area. Thank you

/u/ChaoticLizzard on Reposted a cute avatar reference with zuko holding an ace flag. Why are people terrible?

show us THE AVATAR REFERENCE August 30, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/loulouompu on How old were you when you found out you’re aro/ace (anywhere in the spectrum)?

I'm 24 and I question it for some month and I am sure since january. I was thinking that I wasn't ready yet. August 30, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/ratsonjulia on Welp, my cautious expression just bit me in the ass.

I gotta say (& I can't really support it, although I've read a number of allusions to it in many books on the Life of Paul) but I've often wondered if Paul wasn't, himself, Ace August 30, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/AceAllicorn on Welp, my cautious expression just bit me in the ass.

Wow. Not the best time, bot... August 30, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/S4t1r1c4L on Does anyone else get annoyed if movies have useless sex scenes?

Honestly, unless the show slowly builds it up and it's meant to wrap up the "sexual tension" there really isn't a point. Though sex for whatever reason makes people drop their guard and say shit they shouldn't due to being high off of the dopamine, so it can be used for that too August 30, 2020 at 11:30PM

/u/i_dont_like_the_sex_ on Does anyone else get annoyed if movies have useless sex scenes?

As much as I hate them, I can say that I’ve seen a necessary scene, and it makes me emotional every time. If anyone has seen Haunting of Hill House, you know that the main characters are psychologically complex. The third episode, one of my favorites, has one of those scenes at the end, that mirrors the one at the beginning. Understanding in a new light why this character does the things she does, and is the way she is. They’re not even horribly explicit, but the first one is quite uncomfortable for me, even if it’s short. Point is, it’s the only sex scene that makes my chest ache, and in effect cry. August 30, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/Hi_im_Piper on Welp, my cautious expression just bit me in the ass.

See I'm not saying that Episcopalians have it easy in terms of Christian societal expectations, but I'm a southern Baptist who lives in the middle of the bible belt, just for reference. August 30, 2020 at 11:29PM

Advise

I 41F would like to give advise to men and women who are in a relationship Marriage is a life long commitment and I hear that after so many years in marriage, everything becomes routine and some are not attracted to their partners. In my opinion both should work equally to keep the marriage interesting and the bond strong. Do not argue over pity things instead understand each others weaknesses and accept their flaws. Also always try to put your needs first and then your partner needs... remember life is so short and should not have regrets. Try not to control your partner instead give them space and freedom. Also never argue in front of kids and always respect each other in front of them. Those are my advises for married people, i am married for 23yrs and still married...if you ask me if i was given a chance would i select the same partner? my answer is NO for several reasons, but i have the best kids in the world. Thanks for reading and I want everyone to be happy Submitted Augus

Am I the jackass

I need to do a sanity check from unbiased opinions, because I’m completely at a loss. There’s obviously a ton more back story behind our relationship, but we have been married four years and have two young kids. To set the stage, my wife’s 30th birthday is tomorrow, and we’ve spent basically the week past two days straight fighting over everything. I really did want to try to make the days leading up to her birthday special, and so Friday night I planned for my parents to come babysit the boys and to take her out to play Topgolf which she has wanted to do for years. I’d planned for one of her best friends & her husband to meet us there as a surprise. Things went well, and then Saturday morning when she and the boys woke up I had planned to take us all out for a nice breakfast. We went, had a nice meal, and then explored the farmers market that was there as well ( a fav of hers). When we got home we didn’t have anything specifically planned and so I was going to do a few things a

Quarantine and marriage

Anyone else having a hard time lately? My husband works in a nursing home and so we have been quarantined since the beginning. My job switched to remote work at home. I never see my friends or and barely see my family. They don’t make an effort to wear masks and it makes me and my husband uncomfortable so I don’t really visit with anyone. Texting has become a chore lately and so I find myself disengaged when I text with friends. No one likes phone calls anymore. I’m lonely. My husband has never been the chattiest guy around and he never has much motivation to do things together like going on walks(he’s on his feet all day). I made an effort to play video games with him too so I am trying. Usually when we aren’t quarantined I try to plan our dates and we will do it about once a month. Because of obvious Covid reasons we have not done anything all year pretty much. I feel so lonely. I accept my husband for who he is and that if we do stuff together I have to plan it and know that he wil

talking after a one night stand?

*posting here even though I'm not over 30 but the guy I'm talking about is.. 5 years younger* I had a "one night stand" with a guy I met while traveling in January. He approached me first but I was very attracted to him - one of his first questions was to add me on facebook then we found out we had a lot in common then we both got drunk bc it was a club and yea we had a good vibe and had sex a few times from evening till the next morning. I stayed a few hours he was really sweet and we had breakfast together - then sex again and on my way... I think we were both very attracted to each other. we stayed connected but I ended up deactivating my profile for a large chunk of the last several months.. I occasionally drunk messaged him when I was horny and he was responsive and friendly/matching my horny energy sometimes lol but I always initiated. I recently got back on social - updated my pics and ever since he has engaged with every one of my posts and I don't jus

Just a young female [F23] looking for tips?

Hey, I know most people here are over 30 and just simply unlucky to be without a partner even though they do desire a relationship. I would like to know what relationship advice you would give to younger people. Perhaps most of relationships ended because you were immature or maybe you investing you 20’s in your career and forgot about relationships. Nonetheless what’s your advice for finding love at a younger age? Submitted August 30, 2020 at 11:17PM Hey, I know most people here are over 30 and just simply unlucky to be without a partner even though they do desire a relationship.I would like to know what relationship advice you would give to younger people. Perhaps most of relationships ended because you were immature or maybe you investing you 20’s in your career and forgot about relationships.Nonetheless what’s your advice for finding love at a younger age?

Update: Probably Wasting My Time

Not sure why my first update post was taken down, but trying it again. Original Post Here: Link I ended up following your advice and sent her a message that it would be best if we stopped seeing each other, but left the door open in case she ever became ready to date. I don't expect to see or hear from her again but who knows. Her response was short and about as meh as I expected which shows this was the right choice. Honestly, it's more of a relief to finally know where we stand than it is sad. I really liked this woman, but I can focus on finding people who want what I want, and that is most important. I realize now I had been pretending that I was ok with this going nowhere, but I wasn't, so I'm glad I cut this off. Anybody else meet the right person at the wrong time? Submitted August 30, 2020 at 03:54PM Not sure why my first update post was taken down, but trying it again.Original Post Here: LinkI ended up following your advice and sent her a message th

Physical Attraction

Do any of you go through this? Do you feel like you're not really attracted to many people physically because you've got a certain type and you know THAT is why really turns you on/makes you feel attracted? Everything else is kind of... meh. I come across women that there is literally nothing wrong with them at all, and they could be definitely pretty to other guys, but I just don't feel it. There's also been dates where I get along with a woman really well, but, I don't know I'm just not into them, physically and it kind of kills it for me. Obviously, I totally understand not everything is about physical attraction, but you definitely want to like looking at the person. I just know my type is this "look" that Mediterranean/Argentine women have. In no way do I belong on the cover of GQ and I'm not trying to sound superficial, but I am genuinely trying to understand if you guys go through it and what do you do in those situations if you're no

Is there any scenario where pursuing a good friend can not result in the end of the friendship? (32M)

My best friend has become single for the first time in the years I've known her, and while I was never "pining after her" or hoping I'd some day have an opportunity, the change in status has brought out an infatuation in me that I didn't realize was there. In the long run, I don't believe I'll actually pursue it, because I'm pretty convinced she'd never see me that way, and she means too much to me to jeopardize losing what I do have with her. Plus, I came to be on friendly terms with her now ex, and even though he's moving out of state, I know there's sort of a "bro code" thing there. Still, I haven't been able to shut up the voice in my head that still keeps asking "What if?", and I honestly feel like a pretty bad person, and certainly a bad friend, for feeling that way. I've never been able to date or connect "romantically" with women, so I can't be too surprised that I'm stuck on someone I

34M living with his brother to save money for my own place - dealbreaker?

Hey Everyone, Just figured I'd post this. Been single for about a year now and just about ready to delve back into the dating world (joy). A lot's happened in the last couple years for me. I graduated college and got a great job. My job is located about 15 minutes from my brothers house so I moved in with him. It's a three bedroom three story condo so we always have our own space. I'm no mooch - I pay my way and split the housework. My brother and I have always been very close. I'm saving a ton of money right now (over $1000 a month) by living with him. I pay rent, but not nearly what I'd pay living in an apartment (I pay $500 whereas rent is about $1500 here. I up it every year when I get my salary increase). Living here has given me the opportunity to pay off all of my debts and start saving for my own place. I don't think I want to buy a house just yet, and I'm very happy living where I am. Originally I was going to give it until he decided to be

no kiss! + (why) is he keeping his kid a secret?

Hi everyone, this is my first post to this sub and also my first post to reddit! I'm going to just get straight to it... I (30F) had been taking virtual French lessons with a guy who lives in my city (40M). After the lessons were over, he friended me on FB and asked me out. I honestly wasn't very interested at first, but decided to give him a chance since I am trying to reform my own emotionally unavailable/ self sabatog-y behaviors (like rejecting people who like me and chasing after people who don't care about me). It turns out IRL he was cute and I enjoy being around him. We have been on 3 wholesome dates- a bike ride, the museum, taking walks, having lunch and beer, and basically spending the whole day together every weekend. Yesterday was our 3rd date. There was a huge rainstorm that canceled our outside plans so I said it would be ok if he came to my house. We had a good time listening to music and talking, and made plans to see each other again this week. He is alw

Social Practice

So I (30F) am perpetually single. I think one of my problems is I just never developed the right social skills growing up or into young adulthood and I have sort of learned to be very independent, probably partially as a coping mechanism I think. The problem though is that it now makes it really hard for me to meet people. I was at a bar the other day that I went to by myself just because I go places by myself. I am pretty sure I got wingmanned. I said no, partially because of the intimidation of having to successfully socialize (I’m not good at banter and small talk) in a situation like that but also because I felt like they were just a bit younger than the people I am looking for at this point in my life as friends or as a significant other. This has legitimately never happened to me though. I don’t get hit on, and I found myself regretting not going frankly. It was practice I clearly needed. Do you all just say yes? To me it seems like it could also be a bit mean. I don’t know.

Dating a friend's ex ... thoughts?

I'm writing this using the app, sorry in advance. My friend (32F) and Tom (37M) dated for about six years. They (mutually, I guess, she never really told me what had happened. I do know that there was no cheating or violence.) broke up four years ago. She's now happily married and gave birth a few weeks ago. Tom and I (31F) didn't really know each other while they were together. We knew OF each other, but the three of us never hung out. A month before my friend gave birth, Tom and I started working on a project together (we are performers for different companies and because of this horrid virus, we had to band together to get work). First, it was all done through emails and chats, we met in person only after about a month and really clicked. Right at that time, my friend had her baby. Tom and I started casually seeing each other. In a perfect world, I'd tell my friend immediately and ask her if she'd be okay with me dating Tom. But I honestly didn't want to

Dating during Covid

I just deleted all dating apps, I feel like it’s just a waste of time. Anyone has any creative suggestions of how to meet people during this pandemic? I’m not saying I’m completely against dating apps but it’s clearly not working for me so might as well try something else. Submitted August 30, 2020 at 11:29PM I just deleted all dating apps, I feel like it’s just a waste of time. Anyone has any creative suggestions of how to meet people during this pandemic? I’m not saying I’m completely against dating apps but it’s clearly not working for me so might as well try something else.

Keeping Nudes/Homemade Porn from Exes

Hi everyone! I need some advice. My boyfriend and I (over 30) have been dating for roughly four months. I’ve realized I love him, although we haven’t said it to one another, and I could see a really great future together. We have a pretty healthy relationship and have been very open with each other from the beginning. However, there’s been some recent things that have come up and I’d like to ask the people on here what their opinion is before I talk to him about how I feel about this. So here’s what I’d like a little perspective on: In the beginning of when we were dating, he mentioned taking sex pictures/videos with his last ex that he still had on his computer. I didn’t really think anything of it because we had just met and were in that dating kind of phase. However, last night, while playing a game with our friends, one of the questions was, do you still have pictures or videos of your ex of a sexual nature and he said yes. He noticed I kind of tensed, and asked if I was mad, b

Scary No Meet Online Situation

I (33M) started playing a mobile mmorpg almost a year ago. About 5 months back a girl came and began playing, she (26F) is 45mins away in a nearby city. We hit it off and began talking frequently on voice chat on discord, we also talk within the game everyday. We have amazing conversational chemistry and we vibe well, making endless jokes about random topics. We talked quite a bit about our sex lives and sexual interests. Ive been trying to get her to meet me and has resisted, saying she isnt interested in a relationship, or fwb (sex is emotional for her). The reason is that her ex messed with her head and she has no interest in men at this time. Thats why she signed up on the mobile game during covid - to get away from online dating sites. Lately Ive been pushing her to meet or at least give me her number (she was stalked pretty intensely in the past so she is very private with her number and its tied to her landline so one could find her address with it). However, we have had a lot

Am I ghosted?

(x-posted as a comment in another thread) Been talking to a guy for a month. We both aren't the "daily texts and daily check-ins" type, so it took us about 3 weeks of sporadic texting and flirtation before our schedules aligned to meet up for a first date. Went well, but now I don't know quite how to feel about this particular moment I've run into. Our first date was Thursday of the other week. Thanked him for a good time, he reciprocated and said he definitely is looking forward to the next time. We didn't text again over the course of the weekend. Last Monday, I specifically told him that in lieu of texting, I'd prefer to have a quick phone call at or near the end of the week, just to check in and catch up. He said it sounded like a good plan. He's busy, I'm busy, and we've already familiarized ourselves by having a good, hour long phone call prior to our first (and only) date. We don't talk again the rest of Monday or Tuesday. Out of

/u/teenietinye on Every asexual I know cuffes their sleeves, can yall relate?

I push my sleeves up all the time when wearing long sleeves, does that count? August 30, 2020 at 12:03AM

/u/anony-mous-boi on Should Asexuality Be Part Of the LGBTQ+ Community?

My cousin (a bit homophobic, keep in mind) says that she supports aros and aces, but not the LGBTQ community. Because "the community goes against her beliefs, and if aros and aces were part of it, she would have to support part of them". (I can't remember her exact words). I argued that because we don't feel attraction to the opposite gender, we would be the 'Q' or the 'A'. She stays in her opinion. August 30, 2020 at 12:02AM

/u/StevieGalli on Sign me up indeed

This, but completely and entirely seriously. August 30, 2020 at 12:02AM

/u/Partymonster86 on Every asexual I know cuffes their sleeves, can yall relate?

I was thinking binary in a computer sense. The irony have human written in computer language August 29, 2020 at 11:59PM

/u/PixelSox on I saw this originally on tumblr and thought I'd share it with you guys

I wonder... Dyu think that they just don't hear it? Like they're completely deaf specifically to country music... and they just pretend like they can hear it so people will stop questioning them? August 29, 2020 at 11:59PM

/u/Doodleyfish on Should Asexuality Be Part Of the LGBTQ+ Community?

That's a great way to explain it! Thanks! August 29, 2020 at 11:59PM

/u/arandomhuman726 on Should Asexuality Be Part Of the LGBTQ+ Community?

As a heteroromantic asexual I've most commonly heard that because I'm romantically attracted to the opposite sex I'm not classed as LGBTQ+ I understand their view point but here is how I see it: You are not LGBT if your are ALL 3 of these things, heteroromantic, heterosexual and cisgender. Heteroromantic asexuals like myself are not heterosexual and asexual; that's literally impossible. -In the full LGBTQ acronym asexual is included. LGBTQIA+ I hope this makes sense and I hope this helps :) August 29, 2020 at 11:56PM

/u/anony-mous-boi on Am I a valid asexual

This is a mood so I hope we're both asexual lol. Yeah I also like it here, idk what I'd do if I started to become allo August 29, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/yayayeettt on Sign me up indeed

You’re lookin real sexy in them 6 T-shirts and 3 sweatpants. That scarf is just growls I wanna put another one on yo- I literally cannot stop laughing😂 August 29, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/Irohs_tea on I found out my friend is ace but they don't know I know

True. Plus they've only realised themselves ab 2 months ago. I'll think more on this and try not to rush things. Do you think maybe even just subtly hinting that I know would be a good idea. Like me talking about asexuality in our friend group in a way that shows I accept it, (it wouldn't be too unusual because we talk about the lgbtq community sometimes.) Not in a way where its blatantly obvious that I know. More to help them feel like its safe for them and not have to feel like they are pretending to be someone who they are not so they can come out in their own time. August 29, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/frustr8tion on Am I a valid asexual

You weren't really making that suggestion, just questioning. No offence taken. When people who should know much better say that shit though it annoys me. Maybe aego. I don't know enough about that to make a judgement on it, tbh. You could just be nervous about it. I have a bit of an eating disorder. Sometimes I watch cooking shows. Sometimes I'm starving whilst doing so but I hold myself back for whatever reason. Usually to feel in control or because of feelings of unworthiness. Maybe it's something like that. There are some people I find almost find too hot to approach. Like if I asked them out and got rejected it'd be too much. So I hang onto the maybe so I never have to face the rejection, but never truly try to connect with them either. August 29, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/some_strange_circus on When did y’all figure out you were ace?

I identified as demisexual for several years while I was in a long-term relationship. After that relationship ended, I spent a few years single and realized I didn't miss sex even a little bit, did some more soul-searching and realized I'm actually asexual. August 29, 2020 at 11:48PM

/u/Best_In_My_Row on Every asexual I know cuffes their sleeves, can yall relate?

Giant Hoodia gang! August 29, 2020 at 11:47PM

/u/ragtimeholly on Am I a valid asexual

if you don't feel sexual attraction at all you are asexual. If you feel it very rarely, you are greysexual. If you only experience it after developing a strong emotional bond, you are demisexual. Some greys and demis only feel it like once or twice in their lives, whereas with my allo friends it can be anywhere from daily to more like once / twice a month depending on the person. Also depending on the person is the importance of sex in their lives. I know some allos that have sex with their partners more rarely and some more frequently. It's all about individual preferences - for aces as well, since some of us are sex-favorable/indifferent and some are averse/repulsed. As someone else mentioned, finding ppl aesthetically attractive but not wanting to bang them is very normal for allosexuals AND asexuals as well. Here's a doc with more info but only you can actually know if you're asexual/a-spec, nobody here can say for you : ) We're just here for support if you

/u/Irohs_tea on I found out my friend is ace but they don't know I know

Ye it is something to consider. Im not sure how I'm gonna explain that to them but I'll think more ab that August 29, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/DanDanDenpa on Am I a valid asexual

Yeah allosexuals do consider who to have sex with sorry for that . But for me it's more of fantasizing and not really doing it (is it the aegosexual experience?) If ever this hot person walked up to me irl and asked me to have sex, I would probably reject them lol. Hope I didn't offend you by my ignorance. August 29, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/stitchitch on I found out my friend is ace but they don't know I know

Gotcha. No worries i don't nned to know. But it's something ro consider August 29, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/Irohs_tea on I found out my friend is ace but they don't know I know

Ahh that's a somewhat complicated story. I can dm you if you want. I can't say here because then they'll know it's me August 29, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/DanDanDenpa on Am I a valid asexual

Thanks!! August 29, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/Irohs_tea on I found out my friend is ace but they don't know I know

I'm somewhat similar to that. If it's relevant I'd mention I'm bi. And if it's someone I'm close with who doesn't know I'd bring it up so they won't be like oh when I mention crushes of both genders. I guess for someone who's ace it's more complicated to explain because people unfortunately aren't taught about it as much August 29, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/Fillorian_Hofnarr on I saw this originally on tumblr and thought I'd share it with you guys

there are people who are immune to the sound of country music? they must be gods August 29, 2020 at 11:40PM

”Show your nipples... For equality!”

https://ift.tt/3hK1ueC Submitted August 29, 2020 at 11:44PM https://ift.tt/3hK1ueC

Ah yes no other reason is there

https://ift.tt/3hLnfdS Submitted August 29, 2020 at 11:46PM https://ift.tt/3hLnfdS

/u/stelliferous7 on Somehow it just got worse...ahh this is fine :')))))))

It is totally understandable why you'd be upset. August 29, 2020 at 12:02AM

/u/yoma999 on Yeah sex is cool but have you ever seen your crush/squish appear in a dream?

It’s pretty much a platonic crush, where you really really like someone but you just want to hang out with them August 28, 2020 at 11:59PM

/u/3297JackofBlades on Somehow it just got worse...ahh this is fine :')))))))

No, I should have been an adult and not gone on a rant. I am sorry for being an ass August 28, 2020 at 11:56PM

/u/OlympicDaisy on Spongebob is NOT gay you dumb pricks, stop trying to take our only representative Mascot away from us. Damnit!

Being any 2 sexualities simultaneously makes absolutely no sense, so that point does not stand. You CANNOT be Bisexual and Homosexual at the same time just as well as you cannot a Lesbian and Bisexual AT OnE TiMe! They completely cancel each other out! August 28, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/longlivestheking on Another post with Ace NRG

Anime do be hella sexualized tho August 28, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/OlympicDaisy on Spongebob is NOT gay you dumb pricks, stop trying to take our only representative Mascot away from us. Damnit!

No but you cannot change the definitions of preexisting terms to fit around our experience, they might mean that but thats not what the terms that they are using actually mean August 28, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/GoddessArtemis22 on I love being able to subtly show off without anyone that I know finding out. Just for me 💜😌

These are most of them... and then some more lol https://imgur.com/zBxFBXB https://imgur.com/Ywp6pjN August 28, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/dic_ead on 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚

Asexual? Nah bsexual August 28, 2020 at 11:42PM

/u/OlympicDaisy on Spongebob is NOT gay you dumb pricks, stop trying to take our only representative Mascot away from us. Damnit!

Not sure how you interpreted that as me getting mad at you, I was simply explaining to you how the terms were being used and what they Do not mean August 28, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/illialife on 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚

Bees? August 28, 2020 at 11:39PM

/u/jewishmarijuana on I couldn’t believe what I was reading. This is so disgusting

Most researchers dont classify it as a mental illness but as an abnormal sexual orientation that cannot be cured. On top of that, many dont want to be cured. So this whole "just get them therapy" isnt going to work for all the ones who simply dont see anything wrong and don't want to change. Idg this "get them support" approach when many of them will refuse it in the first place. August 28, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/justatheatregeek on Spongebob is NOT gay you dumb pricks, stop trying to take our only representative Mascot away from us. Damnit!

I love how EVERY SINGLE POINT is the SAME THING for aces. We're at a point where I see confirmed LGB characters in the media so much (it's super good to see!), but have yet to see more than two confirmed ace characters. August 28, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/some_strange_circus on How do you feel about plant jokes?

Awww shucks August 28, 2020 at 11:34PM

/u/LightShadow0712 on It just looks cool

Which hand is it to put the ring on the left or right? I never know and I went researching about it and I got confused August 28, 2020 at 11:33PM

/u/stelliferous7 on Somehow it just got worse...ahh this is fine :')))))))

I'm sorry to hear that! August 28, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/Ahumansbrain on Yeah sex is cool but have you ever seen your crush/squish appear in a dream?

What is a squish? August 28, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/SteveHeist on How do you feel about plant jokes?

I'd tell you a plant joke but it'd be too corny. August 28, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/CloudPuffGacha on Thanks to this subreddit I finally figured out my sexuality after four years of struggling. I'm asexual homoromantic and proud to be ^^

Glad to see you’ve found your identity :D August 28, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/Welcme2myhmblecloset on Some ace stickers cause ya'll are valid

Ah, of course. I see my mistake now. August 28, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/Splatoonfanforever on Take a bit of aceness and have a nice day

why thank you August 28, 2020 at 11:24PM

/u/some_strange_circus on How do you feel about plant jokes?

I guess I'm blessed, because no one's ever told me a plant joke. But like...the ones I've looked up just now aren't even funny... August 28, 2020 at 11:22PM

/u/singularityfree on Something finally came in the mail today!

Thanks! August 28, 2020 at 11:19PM

I think this guy I was dating just tried to add me on snapchat

So, I posted before about breaking it off with someone I was talking to over quarantine. He had toxic traits so that had to end. I unfriended him on snap and went to unfriend him on another site we were on, but got distracted. When I came back online to unfriend him on another site we were on, he unfriended me (likely being petty since he saw that I unfriended him from snap). I only have a couple of ppl added on there and I rarely used it. I turned off the option for people to find me in quick add a while ago, but I received a friend request today from someone that's clearly new (I added them back just to view their snap score which was only 1). I unfriended them right after. I'm almost certain that it was him prob adding me to keep tabs? idk lol My assumption was if the quick add feature is turned off (other than contacts or unless they have my snap username), there's no other way for ppl to find me? I have no idea if people would do something like this or the reason (sin

/u/rezkia on I love being able to subtly show off without anyone that I know finding out. Just for me 💜😌

Niceee August 27, 2020 at 11:57PM

/u/shortyninja on Do you guys join LGBTQ groups/scholarships at your school/company/etc?

I was 25 and long out of uni before I even heard the word “Asexual” in this context. From experience online I doubt they’d have been super welcoming anyway. :/ August 27, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/antisocialblob on made an ace bracelet - it's not straight but neither am i

holy shit you're right August 27, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/DrBookenhower on made an ace bracelet - it's not straight but neither am i

It's an ace-let! August 27, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/living-in-lalaland on I do be wearing it proudly

I bought a black ring I would wear on my right middle finger before I knew I was ace and before I knew it was a thing😂 August 27, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/b99fan2014 on Stereotypes

😎🤏🏾 🥴🕶🤏🏾 August 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/KitonePeach on I do be wearing it proudly

I’ve seen those! I have them saved in my wishlist on Amazon and am just waiting for the chance to get one. August 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/b99fan2014 on Stereotypes

love that lmao August 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/CrepesOfWrath95 on I do be wearing it proudly

Me waiting over a month for my ring to get here from China: 😢 August 27, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/KitonePeach on I do be wearing it proudly

You can get simple silicon ones from the exercise sections in Walmart. I made my own with some string and a crochet hook. A lot of people get fancier ones from online retailers or from amazon and Etsy. August 27, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/_Jyggalag_ on What are some characters that it's your head canon that they're asexual, aromantic and anything in between.

Being a dragon is always a plus, and Spellbreaker is indeed one of the best artifacts for sword and shield builds. Most remember the wabbajack for turning people into sweet rolls, but it's hardly practical in an actual questing setting when you can't be sure if it will explode a man into coins or shock everyone with a lightning bolt, including yourself. I am personally also amused by the way Mehrunes talks being so different in Daggerfall vs Battlespire. He's suddenly very eloquent. The game, however... isn't great. I haven't played, but one doesn't have to. August 27, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/ace_ventura__ on We need to team up

They act like there's homophobia on places like r/aretheallosok but I'm pretty sure that sub mainly makes fun of heteronormativity, with some weirdly sexual things from all over sprinkled in, it doesn't really matter what the attraction is, it's just that the thing is overtly sexual in a confusing or weird way. Plus I barely ever see any same sex attraction posts on r/aretheallosok anyway, it's normally all just heteronormativity. Don't get me wrong, if there is homophobia it's absolutely disgusting and doesn't belong here, but it's not like it's representative of the whole community's beliefs, and I personally haven't seen it. I'll try asking to see if anyone can genuinely give me an example of it, because I genuinely want to see if it is a problem that we just aren't aware of. August 27, 2020 at 11:36PM

/u/RedReJa on This is a kinda dumb question

Would that not be panromantic? Or is biromantic more open ended than bisexuality because some sex characteristics matter less? Or are the terms interchangeable? August 27, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/blrmkr10 on This is a kinda dumb question

Technically bi means two. August 27, 2020 at 11:34PM

/u/Jaybird360 on I do be wearing it proudly

I'm here because I'm searching for a "anusfungus" in behalf of r/fuckanus__fungus August 27, 2020 at 11:32PM

/u/-____deleted_____- on I love being able to subtly show off without anyone that I know finding out. Just for me 💜😌

John Bellion and ajr on the same laptop. Damn good taste. August 27, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/SpoopyMcSpooperson on so looks like we’re all disabled

🤔 disability isn't a bad thing either, it just means a person has needs specific to them. IDK how to feel about this categorization but the first thing to remember is that disabled is not "broken" or "incomplete." August 27, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/Holyshinxx on TW: Did something kind of stupid today; I decided to "test" my asexuality by exposing myself to porn for the first time and seeing how I reacted--Yikes!!! I wanted eye-bleach after a 10 secs.

Yikes... I came out to my friends as ace and told them I liked girls and my one friend thought it would be funny to send me a link to hetero porn as a "prank." I literally cried and looked at pictures of cats for like 3 hours August 27, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/samuraiseoul on Here you go

Yeah, took me a bit to figure out that (aesthetic attraction + being horny) !== sexual attraction. August 27, 2020 at 11:19PM

my friend said she didn’t want to go on a date with him. this was his response

https://ift.tt/32uYZ9n Submitted August 27, 2020 at 11:27PM https://ift.tt/32uYZ9n

Not me but a friend had this conversation

https://ift.tt/34GphrR Submitted August 27, 2020 at 11:46PM https://ift.tt/34GphrR

Gotta keep it interesting

https://ift.tt/2YFRJXc Submitted August 27, 2020 at 11:44PM https://ift.tt/2YFRJXc

I feel like I’ve got to a point where I don’t even know what’s a good choice anymore...

I’ve just had soooo many miss-fires, so many almosts, so many situationships. I’m not saying I’ve slept with them all, because I haven’t, but gawd have I dated a lot of people at this point. I feel like I don’t know how to make a decision anymore because ultimately nothing ever works out. So many failed attempts and I feel paralysed. I’m dating someone new and it seems to be going well. We’re both reasonably keen given the amount of time we’ve known each other, but I am waiting for this to go tits up. Because it always does. After 32 years of life on this planet, dating numbers must have reached triple digits, if not much more. Not a single long-term, committed and enjoyable relationship to note down. I’m not sure how to move past this. Submitted August 27, 2020 at 11:06PM I’ve just had soooo many miss-fires, so many almosts, so many situationships.I’m not saying I’ve slept with them all, because I haven’t, but gawd have I dated a lot of people at this point. I feel like I d

/u/-____deleted_____- on My friend knitted me an ace blanket. My cat approves.

its a kitace August 26, 2020 at 11:57PM

/u/Manuel_el_elegido on My friend knitted me an ace blanket. My cat approves.

It looks so warm :D August 26, 2020 at 11:57PM

/u/rainy_bubblegum on My friend knitted me an ace blanket. My cat approves.

Woah!! August 26, 2020 at 11:56PM

/u/daedric_lightweaver on I’ve always believed sex-positive/neutral aces are valid, what are your guys’ thoughts on this?

Omg yes! That's me! If you don't mind me asking, what do you identify as among the different asexual types? The certain situations for me is some pictures in my mind. When I was with someone, I just zoned out completely, focusing on the picture instead of the person who was there.. And the "when I'm horny" part is so accurate.. I've found myself jarred by how differently I think about sex when I'm horny and when I'm not.. It's so confusing August 26, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/TimeyWimey1467 on Really hope nobody can relate

Not relatable. Big sad. 😭 August 26, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/EJSuperstar on Any others who were tomboys as kids?

I was pretty tomboyish when I was younger, most of my friends were guys, I hated dresses etc. I'm fine with being called a girl though. August 26, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/idk_just_me_ on Husband just came out as asexual

I came out as asexual to my fiance about a year ago, and he was amazing about it, never making me feel bad for the lack of sex in our relationship. Every few months I keep asking him if he's going nuts without it and is he still okay with it, and every time he assures me that he's perfectly happy. Oddly enough, since we stopped having sex, our relationship has been just as strong, maybe even stronger because the tension surrounding sex is gone. My fiance told me he gets more fulfillment from the relationship knowing that i'm comfortable and being myself, rather than trying to have sex with someone who is clearly not enjoying it. I think if you're with the right person, sex doesn't have to be a big part of a relationship and the connection you share is so strong, you don't even think about it. I do, however, think it's rare to come across! Your husband is so lucky that you are so accepting :) TLDR; it's totally normal with the right person :) Augu

/u/maddr_lurker on Saw this and had to think of y'all

Props to this guy not only for wearing this proudly but allowing a stranger to take his photo to share on reddit. August 26, 2020 at 11:50PM

/u/AceOfManyYears on My best friend keeps invalidating me n i am trying not to cry rn bc im in public :') i actually had a good day today n now i feel so bad....

And if your friend actually wants to learn, I can explain to them why you don’t hear much about older aces. It’s only been about 20 years since asexuals started any kind of effective educational or informational campaigns. For us older aces, 20 years wasn’t that long ago. I was in my 40s before I first heard of it. I always was ace, I just didn’t know anyone else was, and I didn’t know there was a name for it. Most aces my age are in the closet so deeply they don’t even know there is a closet. They think if they say anything people will think they’re crazy and broken. Educate older people about asexuality, and we’ll start popping up all over the place. August 26, 2020 at 11:49PM

/u/Uninhibited-Bob on Really hope nobody can relate

r/absolutelynotme_irl Edit: got the subreddit wrong like 20 times... August 26, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/Kittylover9889 on Big Ace Energy Here

Isn’t this more aro energy? Lots of ace people still want a relationship (not all) August 26, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/ragtimeholly on I’ve always believed sex-positive/neutral aces are valid, what are your guys’ thoughts on this?

it's all good, friend <3 I upvote you as a person August 26, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/Amaevise on I’ve always believed sex-positive/neutral aces are valid, what are your guys’ thoughts on this?

I understand how it came about. It's a measure of masculinity that society and porn has enforced. I know some women enjoy it because they enjoy the feeling of the penis hitting the cervix, but I know a lot of women also don't enjoy that feeling. Just as there are a gazillion different things women like there are a gazillion different penis shapes and sizes women or gay men prefer. Such a stupid measure of masculinity. August 26, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/fumblebucket on Really hope nobody can relate

I've put less than zero effort into my appearance. I wear oversized clothing. There are very specific garments that are slightly more fitting or defining to my figure. I always get a ton of uncomfortable comments any time I wear them. Those garments go to the back of my closet and don't come back out until I'm desperate again(off site laundry during a pandemic is a bitch) August 26, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/AceOfManyYears on My best friend keeps invalidating me n i am trying not to cry rn bc im in public :') i actually had a good day today n now i feel so bad....

So, I’m 62. It’s not a phase. By this point your friend is just being willfully ignorant. August 26, 2020 at 11:37PM

/u/StevieGalli on I’ve always believed sex-positive/neutral aces are valid, what are your guys’ thoughts on this?

I didn't mean to be offensive like that at all, but I guess it was enough to get me 13 downvotes by my own comrades and community. Wow. Feels bad. August 26, 2020 at 11:37PM

/u/Bashful_Bee_ on Big Ace Energy Here

Now that's ace energy August 26, 2020 at 11:37PM

“Weedtaglement”

https://ift.tt/2Qt5Hal Submitted August 26, 2020 at 11:27PM https://ift.tt/2Qt5Hal

Dude wouldn’t leave me alone, so I left chat open and went for a walk, he got real mad lol

https://ift.tt/3b1w0y4 Submitted August 26, 2020 at 11:30PM https://ift.tt/3b1w0y4

Today I saw a side of my husband I have never seen before

My husband just spent 10 hours in the emergency room with a co-worker/friend who attempted to take his own life last night. He confided in my husband this morning when they arrived at work. My husband, who's always been the goofy and never serious one, turned into someone different. He was serious. Calm. He went into this mode I've never seen before. He said we are going to make it better dude. Drove him to the hospital. Sat with him. Talked to him. Advocated for this man. He made sure his coworkers house was locked up. His vehicle was safe. The compassion and heart my husband has shown is incredible. I am so proud to call him my husband and even prouder to call him the father of our children. Days like today remind me of how lucky I truly am. Submitted August 26, 2020 at 11:56PM My husband just spent 10 hours in the emergency room with a co-worker/friend who attempted to take his own life last night. He confided in my husband this morning when they arrived at work. My h

Can someone explain to me, why am I still here?

How do I survive a relationship a narcissistic man? One that thinks he's some kind of God, when he has a little money in his pocket. Example: I just met up with him a tmobile store. He wants to buy a new iPhone. Ok. He gets there before me. Then calls me, yells into the phone so obnoxiously. Right there, that tells me he's showing off, that's his tell tell sign. I ask him to quite down. I pull up, enter the store and see two ladies, they looked at me as if I was the devil. I didn't put two and two together until he starts bragging (in his loudest voice) "hey just give me the best iphone you have, I'm paying cash." He doesn't kiss me or give me a hug, nothing to distinguish to the world that I'm his wife. Just proceeds to be loud and obnoxious. Now, back to the ladies, the longer I was there, the longer they stared. I'm sure they wished I was his daughter, cousin or sister. So they can make there move on him. These two were sizing my husband up

How to stop talking to someone you aren't necessarily "seeing"

I'm 30F and recently met a man through a work event about a month and a half ago. We work in the same industry (different companies) and have some mutual acquaintances through work. We have gone out for coffee 3 times now and something just seems off and I'm skeptical about him. For starters, he won't tell me how old he is. It started out as kind of a joke with him saying he's "old", but now I'm getting annoyed. He doesn't appear to be much older than me so I'm not even sure why he cares or why it's even an issue. I've outright asked him how old he is and he'll say something like "let's keep that a mystery for now..". This is a red flag for me because if you can't even disclose something as simple and essential as your age, what else could you possibly be hiding? Secondly, we never seem to get anywhere past meeting for coffee which is always scheduled last minute. I've invited him to lunch a few times, and to m