no kiss! + (why) is he keeping his kid a secret?

Hi everyone, this is my first post to this sub and also my first post to reddit! I'm going to just get straight to it...

I (30F) had been taking virtual French lessons with a guy who lives in my city (40M). After the lessons were over, he friended me on FB and asked me out. I honestly wasn't very interested at first, but decided to give him a chance since I am trying to reform my own emotionally unavailable/ self sabatog-y behaviors (like rejecting people who like me and chasing after people who don't care about me). It turns out IRL he was cute and I enjoy being around him. We have been on 3 wholesome dates- a bike ride, the museum, taking walks, having lunch and beer, and basically spending the whole day together every weekend. Yesterday was our 3rd date. There was a huge rainstorm that canceled our outside plans so I said it would be ok if he came to my house. We had a good time listening to music and talking, and made plans to see each other again this week. He is always the one to initiate the next plan, and I'm happy to see him again. The thing is--- we haven't kissed or touched yet!! I'm starting to think that maybe he isn't attracted to me (I am much larger/ taller than him, which maybe threw him off when we met irl...).

​

This in itself is a bit frustrating, but THERES MORE...

I know for a fact that he has a daughter, but he hasn't mentioned it to me yet, and I am wondering if this is a huge red flag or not?? I know about his kid because on Facebook (where HE added ME) she is in several of his profile pics, and the caption will be like "proud dad" or "father and daughter time" or whatever. On our second date he told me that he was divorced, but has not yet mentioned the child. What gives? I have been waiting for him to bring it up, and even talking about my relationships with children in my family, or friends that I have with kids. On our last date I asked him if he was still married and he said no, and also laughed a bit at my vigilance, but STILL DID NOT MENTION the kid! We have plans to see each other again this week. Should I bring it up? Or wait for him to reveal? Or just stop seeing him all together bc its creepy to hide a child?? Bc tbh I'm getting a bit creeped out!

Would love to hear the perspective of the DOT community about this. Thank you all so much!

​

TLDR: Been on 3 dates with a guy, no kiss yet, also he has a kid he hasn't mentioned. Is it time to RUN?



Submitted August 30, 2020 at 08:23PM

Hi everyone, this is my first post to this sub and also my first post to reddit! I'm going to just get straight to it...I (30F) had been taking virtual French lessons with a guy who lives in my city (40M). After the lessons were over, he friended me on FB and asked me out. I honestly wasn't very interested at first, but decided to give him a chance since I am trying to reform my own emotionally unavailable/ self sabatog-y behaviors (like rejecting people who like me and chasing after people who don't care about me). It turns out IRL he was cute and I enjoy being around him. We have been on 3 wholesome dates- a bike ride, the museum, taking walks, having lunch and beer, and basically spending the whole day together every weekend. Yesterday was our 3rd date. There was a huge rainstorm that canceled our outside plans so I said it would be ok if he came to my house. We had a good time listening to music and talking, and made plans to see each other again this week. He is always the one to initiate the next plan, and I'm happy to see him again. The thing is--- we haven't kissed or touched yet!! I'm starting to think that maybe he isn't attracted to me (I am much larger/ taller than him, which maybe threw him off when we met irl...).​This in itself is a bit frustrating, but THERES MORE...I know for a fact that he has a daughter, but he hasn't mentioned it to me yet, and I am wondering if this is a huge red flag or not?? I know about his kid because on Facebook (where HE added ME) she is in several of his profile pics, and the caption will be like "proud dad" or "father and daughter time" or whatever. On our second date he told me that he was divorced, but has not yet mentioned the child. What gives? I have been waiting for him to bring it up, and even talking about my relationships with children in my family, or friends that I have with kids. On our last date I asked him if he was still married and he said no, and also laughed a bit at my vigilance, but STILL DID NOT MENTION the kid! We have plans to see each other again this week. Should I bring it up? Or wait for him to reveal? Or just stop seeing him all together bc its creepy to hide a child?? Bc tbh I'm getting a bit creeped out!Would love to hear the perspective of the DOT community about this. Thank you all so much!​TLDR: Been on 3 dates with a guy, no kiss yet, also he has a kid he hasn't mentioned. Is it time to RUN?
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