The reason I don't hit the join button on this sub is basically this, most of the posts here are one of the following: "Yooooo ace flag!" "Don't you hate it when [banal thing that has nothing to do with being ace]?" "Am I ace if I do [thing that the FAQ would clear up]?" July 31, 2023 at 11:23PM

This is such a difficult question. I do CONSTANTLY wish I was allo, especially because I am sex repulsed. No matter how much therapy I go to, nothing changes the subconscious guilt I have of feeling like a failure as a partner because my partner is allo (he is well aware of my sexuality and fully accepts me for who I am). HOWEVER, if I simply accepted that I am a sex repulsed asexual much earlier in life and never had an allo partner, I feel like my answer would be “stay as an asexual.” I love my partner, please don’t think I don’t, I just don’t understand how an allo would want to be in this situation… July 31, 2023 at 11:21PM

I haven't been to queer specific events because I'm too shy. However, I coincidentally made friends with a lot of queer people before I realized I was queer (maybe we're drawn to each other haha). I've found queer people to be one of the most accepting groups and they were supportive when I thought I was straight, when I came out as heteromantic ace, and when I realized I am biromantic. They supported me through my changes on my journey of self discovery. That being said, I've met these friends at college and not at a queer group. I think in interest specific group settings things can easily get "competitive". Eg. Book club "well I read REAL books and not mainstream movie books". And competitive for queer spaces is "well I'm more queer than you" July 31, 2023 at 11:20PM

Yes I've been in both non consensual relationship and consensual and to be honest I never felt like the way people described like I have felt the need to suddenly sleep with someone got a pretty normal to lower libido so I think of it like the lower half is doing its good but my personality and brain is like nah. Yes I chose to do it with her but because I wanted to feel loved and wanted to understand what the others felt. But everytime I did it I felt normal and not all hot and flustered. I just did it like an act or something. July 31, 2023 at 11:12PM

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/abstinence First definition: "the practice of abstaining from something : the practice of not doing or having something that is wanted or enjoyable" Though of course different people will still use a word differently. July 31, 2023 at 11:09PM