I also don't desire physical intimacy, but I am married and have been with my husband for nearly ten years. He IS my best friend, but I wouldn't describe our relationship as friendship, because my love for him is different from the love for my friends or family. It's difficult to explain. I love being around him, talking to him, my feelings for him are definitely romantic, but not physical (I don't crave sex or kissing). I can't project those same romantic feelings to any of my friends. I like my friends, but I don't want their company 24/7, in fact I'd go crazy if I had to hang out with them all the time (I'm an introvert). However, being with my husband feels like home. I don't get sick of him. Also, the thought of my husband loving someone else romantically would make me very jealous, whereas I don't care who my friends love or have sex with. September 11, 2020 at 11:47PM

I know a ton of allo people who don't put a huge value on having sex. I don't think it's as important to many people as allonormativity has led us to believe and it's actually very normal, especially after the hormone craziness of youth subsides. I've even known some allos who are sex-repulsed and don't want to have sex, or just don't want to have sex for other reasons, even though they feel sexual attraction regularly. They are all welcome to hang in ace communities as allies, but I don't think it would be okay for an allo to claim they were asexual just because they didn't like sex -- especially given how many people think asexuality is just "dislike for sex" and not a sexual orientation. I feel it would reinforce a problematic stereotype at the expense of real asexuals who don't feel sexual attraction but think they can't identify as "asexual" if they have/enjoy sex, thus preventing them from finding the information

Yay i found other Ace Lesbians September 11, 2020 at 11:37PM

So wear it on the thumb or ring finger on the right hand and not the middle? Or only wear it on the middle finger on the right hand? I'm a bit confused? September 11, 2020 at 11:36PM

Yeah i think thats true. I am kinda questioning to thought i would label myself allosexual if i was forced too and in a certain context. I just don't really care about actually having sex. It sounds kinda shitty but i think i like the idea more than the actual thing or maybe just the stupid idea that it means being desirable or having a deep connection. September 11, 2020 at 11:29PM

In what I think is a very funny bit of irony, a black ring worn on the right hand on any finger but the middle one can be a symbol that the person is a swinger. So about as un-ace as you can get. But the swingers’ FAQs address the issue: “Wear your black ring on any finger but the middle one. The ring finger is the natural place for the black ring, but thumb rings are cool too. A black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand is an infrequently used symbol of asexuality. Please avoid wearing your ring on this finger as a courtesy to that community.” September 11, 2020 at 11:29PM

This is now my new title😂 September 11, 2020 at 11:27PM

Well yeah he is most likely allosexual by statistics alone. Since you are interested in a romantic relationship it might be worth a shot to just say you like him but are not interested in sex. I consider myself allosexual and was in a 2 year relationship with my asexual girlfriend i also kissed her rather early. September 11, 2020 at 11:24PM

I'm starting to wonder if there might be a genetic component, as neither my dad or my paternal grandmother are all that interested in sexy times as far as I can tell (I really don't want to ask), and haven't had a partner in over 10 years, much longer for my grandmother, though neither identify as ace. September 11, 2020 at 11:23PM

Yea I knew is soon as I posted it September 11, 2020 at 11:21PM

what I was saying was that, in response to you saying "for what I care someone can label themself as asexual and have tons of sex," that those things are in no way mutually exclusive anyway. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, not "celibacy." Not having sex or having lots of it doesn't have anything to do with what asexuality is. Labelling yourself as "asexual" is not labelling yourself as "celibate." If somebody feels sexual attraction rarely they are still on the asexual spectrum so that's fine to label yourself asexual, but personally I would not feel comfortable with someone labelling themselves "asexual" if they were allosexual. If someone feels sexual attraction to both genders, but only wants to have relationships with same-gendered people, yeah call yourself "gay," sure. But saying you're asexual if you're not even on the spectrum is more like being totally straight and calling yourself gay. That

her notices a bulge “so now you’re happy to see me” him: “actually this is in fact a banana” her: “I thought you said it was 2 for 1” him: “yea, it was, but they gave me this warranty banana incase something happened to one of the bananas” her: “well then you’ve run out of bananas” him: “bold of you to assume I didn’t purchase several warranty bananas for the warranty banana” her: “how many bananas do you have” him: “yes” September 11, 2020 at 11:20PM

np September 11, 2020 at 11:19PM

Oh, cool! Thanks! September 11, 2020 at 11:19PM

Crop your posts g September 11, 2020 at 11:19PM

YES! Ace WLW/MLM solidarity! Gay aces rise up! September 11, 2020 at 11:19PM

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[30F] I’ve been dating this guy [29M] for about a month and a half and things are amazing. We communicate, are open minded, like similar things, and care about each other deeply. Things seem like they’ve been moving pretty fast, but things feel right to me. We both are monogamous and only date for the end goal of marriage. He has been asking me to move in with him, he is going to be moving into his own place soon. I am hesitant due to things moving pretty quickly, fear of things not working out, and [cherry on top] what my asian parents will say/think. My asian parents are strict and even though I pay rent to live with them, I am still treated like a child with curfews, rules, and them incessantly nagging me. My heart and gut says yes to moving, but I still have so much fear for things that I am way overthinking about. Thoughts or any advice? Submitted September 11, 2020 at 09:56PM [30F] I’ve been dating this guy [29M] for about a month and a half and things are amazing. We

Ok people!? So without boring you with a long back story. I will say this I have been single for a lot longer that I was married. I have not had a relationship since 2012. I was never one to do the hook up one nighter thing but never had to make the first move with any of my girlfriends or my ex wife. But with these dating apps I have been left to feel very undesirable. But enough of me and how clueless I feel. I have read lots and tried to gain insight from wherever. I observed that for the most part everyone wants the same type of things. So I really want to get different views. Why is that there are so many horror stories about dating, we dont like being alone so someone why people are ghosting each other and just being douche bags to each other? We all seem to be considerate and RESPECTFUL when online so why do you think this happens? To someone clueless what reasons do people have is it because of looks are we all just stubborn and set in our ways? Are we horrible at know what co

31M. I got out of a 3.5 year relationship 2 months ago. No hard feelings, it was the right thing to do. So I've known a friend for close to 10 years now (same age). We met through mutual friends and I always found her physically attractive. We've always been acquaintances, hanging out in our group of friends a few times a year (we've always lived a few hours apart). In the past 5ish years, we became closer friends. We'd meet up for a meal if I was passing through her area, just to catch up. We would regularly keep in contact (texts, memes, snaps, etc.). At this point, I didn't pursue anything else because of the distance, and I eventually started dating my ex. In the past year or so, we've started talking more and I started to learn more about her. I noticed that we share the same views/opinions on issues, have similar interests, share the same humour and long term goals. My interest for her quickly built up as my past relationship started to fail. I could n

I(M31) asked my friend of 3 years (F32) out in June. She was single and not dating anyone then. She said that she doesn't see me that way. Since then, I reduced one-to-one contact and met only in groups. We used to run together before, so we continued that, but I kept the conversation casual and friendly. Though I did not start dating due to covid and my increased work schedule, I thought I had moved on. However, today she invited everyone (group of 7 people) to meet her boyfriend at his place, and I felt a deep sadness in my heart. First I didn't know that she was dating anyone, so this was a surprise. Second, I stopped discussing personal and relationship stuff with her since June. I didn't want to make things awkward between us. Our interactions was as friendly and casual as with any other of my friends. I have declined the invitation citing heavy work load and deadlines, and I feel embarrassed and pathetic now. I have realized that I am insecure and emotionally imma