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Showing posts from June 25, 2019

Contacting an ex just to stand up for yourself?

I'll try to keep it as short and sweet as I can. Relationship that moved really quickly, and burned out as fast as it took off (5 months start to finish). Really intense emotions. Grew toxic in the end. We both made mistakes and contributed to the downfall of the relationship. That's how breakups work right? Takes 2 to fail. But she put it all on me and berated me and was honestly really shitty and blamed me for everything. We broke up 4 months ago and last contact was maybe 6 weeks ago. I reached out to her, trying to make peace, I was ready to forgive her and hoping she could me too. Didn't want her back, just wanted to make nice to unload the emotional burden from both of us. Done it before with bad breakups and I prefer it that way. Make peace and don't really talk much after that. Perfect closure. Didn't go that way though. She tore into me and said some really cruel things to me and it honestly made me feel like a monster. Only recently have I been able ...

My boyfriend (23M) is hiding his phone from me (20F) and it’s making me feel like he is hiding something

I trust my boyfriend and I would never go on his phone to spy on his messages or social media but recently he has been very over protective with his phone and it’s making me feel like he has something to hide, if I go on it to change a song for example or take a picture etc he will snatch it out my hand as soon as he sees me on it, he never lets me anywhere near it. When I bring it up he just says I’m overthinking it and he doesn’t care if I go on it but he is acting the opposite- am I being paranoid? We have been together for 3 years and at the start of our relationship I found out he was talking to other girls so maybe that’s why I am feeling paranoid about this, even though I do trust him and know he loves me I thought because of that situation he would understand why I think it’s abit suspicious. TL;DR I have never thought about looking through my boyfriends phone and messages but recently he is being very secretive and not letting me anywhere near it and takes it everywhere with...

[27F] My SO is obsessed with our hobby

When we first met, I knew he'd be the father of my children. We have a lot in common. We love to travel, explore, curious about life, and more importantly... We both love climbing. We recently got engaged and I really thought things couldn't be more perfect. As time went on, it seems like his passion for climbing quickly turned into addiction. Once the honeymoon phase fizzled out, I felt like I got pushed to second place, with his love for climbing in first. He works a M-F job, and comes home only to sleep, eat, shower, with the other hours consumed by his addiciton. He's only happy when he climbs. He hardly has energy for our relationship, or trying something new together. I love the fact that we can both share a hobby, but it's hard to convince him to do anything else because it'll get in the way of his climbing. Trips are strictly for climbing... And he jokes "maybe we can do something non climbing related" TL;DR I like climbing, but he's obses...

How do I [24F] manage my husband [25M] yelling at me over things that don’t warrant it?

Together 2 and a half years. Gross I know, but I picked my nose and my husband yelled at me over it. He got explosively angry with me and stormed off out of our room. We had just gotten in bed to relax after work to watch something on tv and my nose was bothering me so I picked my nose lol. He did a 180 on me. I know it wasn’t considerate of me because we were both in bed at that point but the way he yelled at me was completely unwarranted and mean. He stormed out of our room and came back to our doorway to yell at me. I was entirely calm throughout the whole thing and apologized yet asked him to stop yelling 2-3 times. I told him his reaction was mean but he didn’t acknowledge it. Not ten minutes earlier he was joking around with me and asked me to smell his balls before he showered? And when I brought that up he said it was different because we’ve joked about it before. We’ve joked about picking noses before too. He selectively thinks it’s gross on his terms, but I didn’t say tha...

Me [00 M/F] with my parents [40 M 36 F] duration, family drama issues. Need advice on my parents...

My [27F] boyfriend's [26M] "Baby Mom" is causing severe strain on our relationship.

Thanks in advance for any input and/or advice, ill try to keep it short. I started dating my boyfriend a few months ago, well aware that he had a child. (Normally I dont date anyone with a child but I made an exception as I am getting older) I was perfectly fine with the idea of slowly being introduced into a childs life... During the time that my boyfriend and I have been together, the mother of his child (we will call her Tammy for story purposes) has been locked away in rehab and is getting ready to be released soon. Tammy's parents have full custody over the child and so he lives with them, and they frequently visit Tammy in rehab.. Once word got around and back to Tammy that I was now in the picture, not only did she prohibit him from seeing him son anymore, she started with the threats of "I dont want that b*** around my kid, youll never see your kid if youre with her, etc etc." And basically guilt tripping my boyfriend into the fact that, as long as he is datin...

I (28 F) think that the guy I’m dating (31 M) is not over his previous ex (26 F)

Hi, i’m new here so forgive me if the post seems a bit rough! I work as a consultant to various other companies and one of those hired two seniors from another country in January. I work more with one but I occasionally also meet with the other, whom I found very charming since the beginning and who started becoming quite flirty. He asked me out in April and since then we have been dating. He hasn’t got plans to be serious and he goes back to his country on a regular every two week ends, but who knows, step by step we might take it further. However, two weeks ago he was showing me pictures of his week end home from his gallery and I noticed him getting a bit uncomfortable the more he would scroll - until he half opened a screen shot of an Instagram portrait of a very beautiful girl. He tried to hide it but I scrolled to open it. He was very uncomfortable and said “she’s not supposed to be here”, deleted it and explained that it was one of his friend who sent the pic in a WhatsApp gr...

My (24M) self loathing is hurting my GF (21F) and I want to change.

I've always struggled with self loathing and deeply internalised feelings of inadequacy, which I've always just channeled into self depreciating humour. A year ago I started dating someone incredible, and from the first moment it really offended and saddened her when I showed that side of myself. I'm trying to avoid making jokes at my own expense, and whilst that's helping reduce how much I show my self hatred go her, it's doing nothing to actually fix the core issue. Has anyone dealt with this before, and can anyone offer some advice on working through it? Tl:Dr I hate myself and my girlfriend hates that. Submitted June 25, 2019 at 11:41PM I've always struggled with self loathing and deeply internalised feelings of inadequacy, which I've always just channeled into self depreciating humour. A year ago I started dating someone incredible, and from the first moment it really offended and saddened her when I showed that side of myself.I'm trying t...

Struggling to accept a rejection that conflicts with my interpretation of how things were going. Would it be terrible to ask for a more honest reason why?

From the title this might sound crazy ... Even in the post I probably won't sound sane. Hear me out, and then convince me not to send this text. (Also, sorry for the length of this post!) Basically, I (23F) went on two dates with a guy (24M) from a dating app. Both were really really great (at least, I thought so? At least from my point of view?) On the first date we grabbed drinks and chatted and the entire time we were all smiles. Just totally clicking. More chemistry than I've ever actually felt on a date. I was totally taken aback and surprised because I'd walked in very tired from my day. He must have felt good about the date too because he texted me later that night to tell me his roommate had asked why he was smiling so much. And to tell me he had a good time and we should do dinner. So the next week, I go to his place and we make dinner. And at least to me it felt the same -- a ton of chemistry. All smiles all night. We had discussions about going to museums t...

Why doesn't my boyfriend (24M) want me (23F) to spend the night at his place?

We've been together for 3.5 years and have had our ups and downs. When we first were dating I used to spend the night at his house four or five times a week. After I switched jobs (became a teacher) I started staying only one or two nights on weekends. Last August he got a different job and started going in at 4am, and I only really stayed one night at his house per week. Recently I started staying even less than that because I need to be home at night to take of things around my own place. I live with other people and my boyfriend does not usually come over unless it's a holiday or some kind of other special occasion. I go to his house almost every night of the week from about seven until ten thirty or twelve. He never brings this up. He doesn't invite me to stay the might or say how he misses me spending the night. When I've asked about spending the night his response is always that he doesn't care if I stay, or that it doesn't matter if I stay. It kind of ...

How To Keep Spark Between Me (24F) and Boyfriend (31M)

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 years. We were on and off for a bit, but have been really solid this past year. We live together. I feel like he puts very little effort into our relationship, he doesn't plan dates or nights out. Unless I plan a day / night for us, or if his friends are hosting something, he just doesn't make plans. Sometimes if there is a movie he really would like to see, he'll get us tickets. I'm talking like any plans, even things like require no money, like going for a walk, going to the beach, etc. I've expressed to him many times over the course of our relationship how I would love if sometimes he made plans. He tells me "why does it matter who makes the plans, all that matters is that we're doing them" Over the course of our relationship, any major trip we've gone on, or any major thing we have done, has been almost entirely due to me and my plan. Trips, birthday parties (his and mine), etc, have all b...

How can I (20F) cope with feelings that my boyfriend (21M) doesn’t care about the relationship?

My boyfriend and I started dating around 5 months ago. We started off as really great friends and came to understand each other well. We are compatible, and can speak about almost anything. It’s always fun and all to talk with him. However, when it comes to speaking about emotions, difficulty arises. He tells me he loves me and that it’s difficult for him to show that he cares. There was a time when I told him it felt like he didn’t care about our relationship at all, that I looked past it because I knew it was. I cried in front of him, and hated that I had to do so. His lack of affection is slowly affecting me. I thought I could let it be because I knew about his past. I don’t want to force him to do anything as well. I am finding myself hesitant to reply and putting off his messages. I don’t like the fact that I am doing this but I am wondering what’s the point if he doesn’t put in the same effort as I am doing? TLDR; I have trouble coping with my boyfriend’s inability to express...

my [18F] is playing mind games on me [19M] and i need help solving it

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months now our relationship was always good but recently things are getting out of hand she has been playing so many mind games on me for example we would be sitting down and she would say what if i was cheating on you and naturally i would get concerned and confused about this question this is an example out of 10s of other instances like this what bothers me the most and I'm trying to find an answer to is this one issue my girlfriend checks out other guys and says they are hot when she's with me on purpose i can recall several times when a guy walks by and she starts changing her behavior and starring at him and always says damn that guy is hot n things like that and whenever i react she just laughs. I've addressed this issue with her but she hasn't changed she always says she's just joking and she likes pissing me off and I'm just overreacting although I've told her how much this thing hurts me she still keeps do...

Parents not parenting sibling

TL;DR parents are letting my brother ruin his life by dropping out of school and not doing online school I don't know what to do First time posting on this sub but this is obviously a non-romantic issue I'm not 100% sure this sub helps with this but I'm not sure where to post. My little brother (16) recently dropped out of high school because of bullying and is now doing online high school. I support this decision because he was depressed, but my parents are so scared of making him sad again they aren't making him do his schoolwork. My parents are older in their late 50s and don't have the energy to fight with him. He was never good at school but now he is only doing schoolwork for maybe an hour a week. At this rate, he won't complete it for two years. That would be fine if he was learning but he is barely doing anything. One hour of school a week doesn't equate to a normal school load where one typically graduates at 18. My parents are deluding themselv...

/u/TheQuickGreyFox on Granted I'm only half way through the season, but someone please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this?

The writer is really into "death of the author" and encourages people to interpret the characters in whatever way they wish! However, the statements Neil Gaiman has been willing to give make it clear he very deliberately portrayed them as: Queer presenting Agender Asexual And entirely in love with each other June 26, 2019 at 12:15AM

/u/gaminette on Finally found a place where I feel safe and welcomed

Welcome! There's nothing quite like that "lightbulb" moment, right? June 26, 2019 at 12:12AM

/u/AvatarOfMontagar on Do you feel shame?

I'm not offended, and I didn't say you agreed with him. I simply pointed out that he is not and should not be considered an authority and his statement comes from a wrongheaded place. Then I added information about asexuality to give a broader context. June 26, 2019 at 12:06AM

/u/Thewayukian on Would it be possible to only feel sexual attraction while high ?

I'm still disgusted by the idea to do it in real life though June 26, 2019 at 12:06AM

/u/Thewayukian on Do you feel shame?

Do you want to add me on discord and talk ? Thewayukian#7789 June 25, 2019 at 11:57PM

/u/leskenobian on Would it be possible to only feel sexual attraction while high ?

Anxiety and stress reduces sexual attraction. If you relax when you're high, it may pull down a block in your brain against feeling sexual attraction. June 25, 2019 at 11:56PM

/u/TheTitanic10 on Spooopy scary sexuals(sorry if repost)

I was literally watching a video about ghost in video games before opening this June 25, 2019 at 11:53PM

/u/newyorkyanks5 on Do you feel shame?

Nothing in particular. As a social awkward individual, I started studying people's behaviors as a way to ease connecting with others. I ended up enjoying studying human behavior and sometimes take it too far. June 25, 2019 at 11:52PM

I'm not sure if I know what love feels like, but I think I'm falling in a deep pit that will only end up hurting me more

In my life I've only ever experienced crushes that never led anywhere, after I graduated high school I kinda just gave up the idea and sorta stopped myself from ever catching crushes on anyone, let alone fall in love. I figured if someone liked me I'd catch on, and if not I'd be none the worse. But unfortunately I think Ive gone off the deep end it's just making me feel like shit. I went to college for 1 semester then dropped out do to lack of motivation to do, well, anything I guess. I picked up a "part time" that's anything but. I'm worked to death for absolute garbage pay, but I do it because I'm not doing anything else. Working there is a girl I've know since middle school. I'm not gonna say I bullied her, but I was an ass thats for sure. I was an ass to everyone back then. After middle school we kinda went to different high schools and that was that. We met again finally here at work and after a while all awkwardness was gone and we...