Contacting an ex just to stand up for yourself?

I'll try to keep it as short and sweet as I can.

Relationship that moved really quickly, and burned out as fast as it took off (5 months start to finish). Really intense emotions. Grew toxic in the end.

We both made mistakes and contributed to the downfall of the relationship. That's how breakups work right? Takes 2 to fail.

But she put it all on me and berated me and was honestly really shitty and blamed me for everything. We broke up 4 months ago and last contact was maybe 6 weeks ago. I reached out to her, trying to make peace, I was ready to forgive her and hoping she could me too. Didn't want her back, just wanted to make nice to unload the emotional burden from both of us. Done it before with bad breakups and I prefer it that way. Make peace and don't really talk much after that. Perfect closure.

Didn't go that way though. She tore into me and said some really cruel things to me and it honestly made me feel like a monster.

Only recently have I been able to come to my senses and stop blaming myself for everything and I'm pretty upset that I let her treat me that way. I never stood up for myself in the relationship and she walked all over me. I allowed myself to shoulder the blame for all of our conflict.

I just want to text her a long message pointing out to her where she mistreated me and where she made mistakes too just to get it off my chest. Then block her so I never have to hear from her again/get into another argument.

I've never been very good at standing up for myself and I'm working really hard to change this. I think this could be good for my self esteem but I also feel like I should have done it when we last spoke because now it's been so long and would just make me look petty. I'm torn.

TL;DR Ex was really shitty to me and I shouldered all the blame for things I shouldn't have. Want to text her now that my self esteem is back and call her out on her shit so that I finally stand up for myself but it's been months.



Submitted June 25, 2019 at 11:18PM

I'll try to keep it as short and sweet as I can.Relationship that moved really quickly, and burned out as fast as it took off (5 months start to finish). Really intense emotions. Grew toxic in the end.We both made mistakes and contributed to the downfall of the relationship. That's how breakups work right? Takes 2 to fail.But she put it all on me and berated me and was honestly really shitty and blamed me for everything. We broke up 4 months ago and last contact was maybe 6 weeks ago. I reached out to her, trying to make peace, I was ready to forgive her and hoping she could me too. Didn't want her back, just wanted to make nice to unload the emotional burden from both of us. Done it before with bad breakups and I prefer it that way. Make peace and don't really talk much after that. Perfect closure.Didn't go that way though. She tore into me and said some really cruel things to me and it honestly made me feel like a monster.Only recently have I been able to come to my senses and stop blaming myself for everything and I'm pretty upset that I let her treat me that way. I never stood up for myself in the relationship and she walked all over me. I allowed myself to shoulder the blame for all of our conflict.I just want to text her a long message pointing out to her where she mistreated me and where she made mistakes too just to get it off my chest. Then block her so I never have to hear from her again/get into another argument.I've never been very good at standing up for myself and I'm working really hard to change this. I think this could be good for my self esteem but I also feel like I should have done it when we last spoke because now it's been so long and would just make me look petty. I'm torn.TL;DR Ex was really shitty to me and I shouldered all the blame for things I shouldn't have. Want to text her now that my self esteem is back and call her out on her shit so that I finally stand up for myself but it's been months.
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