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Showing posts from December 13, 2020

/u/Lily_LH on Is it okay to be aroace but say I’m a lesbian when asked?

Yes. You can be aroace and a lesbian, gay, pan, etc. Being lesbian has little to do with sex, it has to do with attraction, which is not neceserrily sexual. December 14, 2020 at 12:02AM

/u/SerbalVR on Question from sexual person

You may be uncomfortable with a person like that and that's okay, but don't you dare have the gall to think you have any say on her identity. Asexuality is just feeling little to no sexual attraction, it doesn't define our general behaviour. We ain't robots. December 14, 2020 at 12:02AM

/u/edproductions_yt on Late to the party...(WARNING! GRAPHIC APHOBIA)

and they say aphobia doesnt exist... December 14, 2020 at 12:01AM

/u/Gothic_Analogue on Idk what to title this, but ig im looking for validation.(TW masturbation and sex mentions)

Ohh, I see. Thank you for clarifying, and yes, your final point is very true. December 14, 2020 at 12:00AM

/u/Lily_LH on Is it possible to learn how to enjoy sex even though I'm asexual and touch-repulsed and sex-averse/repulsed?

My opinion is "yes", but just because a person is a very complex creature and nothing about sexuality or preferences is written in stone. Having said that, I absolutely agree with the previous commentor - do not force yourself to do that. It is okay not to have or not want to have sex. December 13, 2020 at 11:58PM

/u/ThatRandomHumanBeing on Can someone explain what aesthetic attraction feels like, and how it differs from sexual attraction?

Oh no December 13, 2020 at 11:55PM

/u/Lily_LH on Question from sexual person

I am quite new to asexuality, so take my opinion with a grain of salt (is it the right expression? in other words with a bit of caution... English phraseologisms are not my thing). Firstly, I do not think she is a very nice person to be around, sounds a bit toxic to me. Different people have different ways of expressing themselves, different topics to discuss and it seems that she is just not your kind of people and doesn't really fit in in that group. An asexual person can have sex, can enjoy sex, although not sure what exactly it is called, but it certainly can be a part of asexuality, as I gather the main trait of an asexual is the absence of sexual attraction, and at times it can be difficult to identify. Nevertheless, please, do not invalidate what she considers herself to be. It is her business and her right. It sounds to me something like "You just haven't found the right person yet". Having said all that, you have absolutely all the right to tell her that you...

/u/Fluffy-Strawberry-27 on Probably one of my favorite metaphors on explaining asexuality.

Yea I still have a weakened sense of taste, and I've always been anosmic as far as I can remember. It's not something I miss tho, the only thing that worries me is that I can't sense smoke, gas or staleness, luckily my partner is my nose lol December 13, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/motorsizzle on Probably one of my favorite metaphors on explaining asexuality.

That sucks and I'm sorry, do you still have taste? Have you always been anosmic or did something happen? December 13, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/ThatRandomHumanBeing on When A Rejected Allosexual Decides He Knows What's Best For You

And you're a fucking aswhole i know that for a fact December 13, 2020 at 11:46PM

/u/RealLiveHuman on Probably one of my favorite metaphors on explaining asexuality.

Same o/ December 13, 2020 at 11:45PM

/u/JinkyRain on Well, that was painful to read. (this is from an interview with the creator of the movie "Gayby". I heard the movie had jokes on the expence of aces and that aces that came to see it felt shame so I went to look it up and-)

Crosses a line, but I get it. Imagine being told "Your character is trans, but we can't let you show that on screen. At most, you can act 'agender' but that's it." I'd probably be resentful too. Representation matters, people are quick to forget that their own isn't the only kind that needs to be portrayed honestly. December 13, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/MourningMimosa on Probably one of my favorite metaphors on explaining asexuality.

I know someone else already said this, but it's always going to be a case-by-case situation. I'm ace and my partner is allo. Neither of us are typical straight cis hetero but present as such. It's not a relationship that would work for most allos or most aces but has worked for us specifically. Communication obviously has played a huge role. We were both very straightforward with each other from the beginning. I think we were both tired of trying to make typically expected relationships work and cut the bs from the start. My only real suggestion would be to make your expectations and boundaries clear right away and don't shy away from uncomfortable conversations. December 13, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/XrayAngel on What would the Sirens sing about to lure you in?

That’s valid 👍 December 13, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/Lily_LH on Older aces virgins at what point did you stop questioning whether you were ace or just have no experience?

Very very relatable, I am 30F, and I have never been in a relationship. I actually went to a therapist due my inability to start one. The main thing was that I don't really feel like I am missing out but I am afraid I will regret it in the future. However, this is not what you asked. The main trait of an ace from what I gather is the absence of sexual attraction - have you ever looked lustly at someone? Felt "hot and bothered" watching them from afar? I am just quoting some love stories and romcoms as I have no idea what this feeling is. If you haven't - you are probably somewhere on the spectrum of course if you are comfortable labelling yourself that. All the other things - like having sex, enjoying it or even wanting it, does not invalidate your asexuality, it just places you at one or another point of the spectrum. December 13, 2020 at 11:41PM

/u/EmlynCaulenico on I had to come out to my mother today

For future reference, if something similar happens you could just say you don’t want to have kids. Being ace isn’t necessarily related, so you don’t need to mention it if you don’t want to. I hope everything goes okay with your dad! 💜 December 13, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/notfunnyororiginal69 on We've all heard of gay panic...

This might be kinda the opposite, but I felt very ace-panicked when someone asked me out 😅 December 13, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/funkycybersloth on We've all heard of gay panic...

Ace panic: my god they're aesthetically attractive! December 13, 2020 at 11:37PM

/u/haha-_-yes on Experiences of asexual people with discrimination and violence

Cool survey! I hope you get good anwsers :) December 13, 2020 at 11:36PM

/u/ThatRandomHumanBeing on Take that, God.

YEAH TAKE THAT GOD!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 December 13, 2020 at 11:29PM

/u/EmilaiG on Is it possible to learn how to enjoy sex even though I'm asexual and touch-repulsed and sex-averse/repulsed?

Please dont force yourself to like it if you simply dont. S*x repulsed aces are as valid as every other ace and you dont need to have s.x if you dont want December 13, 2020 at 11:27PM

/u/EmilaiG on We've all heard of gay panic...

Is this aesthetic or sensual or sexual attraction? (Trying to figure out if something is sexual attraction or not) December 13, 2020 at 11:25PM

/u/Lily_LH on I’ve never been too into rings, so my mother decided to buy me what she dubbed an asexual bracelet. Needless to say I love it (last image is essentially my reaction when she gave it to me 😆)

The gesture is very sweet! To be wholesome I believe it :D A charm like a little flag? That should look awesome! Please update if you do something like that :D December 13, 2020 at 11:24PM