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Showing posts from October 8, 2021

Struggling to get a date because of social anxiety

Hey guys, wanted to vent a little. I’m 27, never been on a date, and I believe it’s due to social anxiety and the impact it has had on my social skills. Over the past six months I’ve been trying to use dating apps, but I’ve made no progress. My situation is a bit unique - in that I’m decent looking and have a strong profile. I know what girls are after so I’ve made myself look well travelled and social. I get a lot of likes and matches. But the truth is, I’m not very confident and naturally quiet. I had pretty bad social anxiety in the past. But I’m a lot better these days. In terms of why I can’t get dates - the problem is when I start the conversation. I’d say 95% of the time I get ignored after two messages back and forth. Is this common? Or a sign I’m doing something wrong? My conversations have never progressed to the point where it felt like the right time to ask them out. Usually in conversations I try to ask the girl questions about themselves. They respond, I acknowledge ...

Dating is discriminatory

It is natural to go for someone you consider attractive. If overweight or being short is unattractive to said person, oh well. Dating is discriminatory in general. And it’s for the specific reason of finding the right person. Some women don’t want a man who’s a stick. Some women prefer the stick over the man who’s not a stick. Some men prefer overweight women Some men prefer normal weight women But looks aren’t the end all be all factor. Many people can put what they prefer in a person aside if they click with the right one. But that’s why we discriminate in the first place, to find the right person. Some atheists don’t want to date someone religious There are religious who prefer to date someone of the same religion Some people want kids and will date single parents Some don’t want kids and won’t date single parents It is normal. And unless the person is rude about what they prefer in a partner, said preferences should be respected. Their boundaries should be respected. The...

What to do when there is a dealbreaker?

I (33M) have been dating a women (28F) for about 2 months now. We like each other, we click, and we spend quite a bit of time together. We started talking about long-term stuff and the subject of “deal-breakers) came up. One of mine has always been that I want to have kids. She very much does not but is possibly open to fostering. But only possibly. We discussed things and, after a couple different sessions talking about it, we decided to take the weekend (she is away in Michigan with family) to think and decide. For me, I don’t think I can change my mind on this. How do I go about ending things? I know there is no good way to do it but … Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:58AM I (33M) have been dating a women (28F) for about 2 months now. We like each other, we click, and we spend quite a bit of time together.We started talking about long-term stuff and the subject of “deal-breakers) came up. One of mine has always been that I want to have kids. She very much does not but is ...

I just had a first date

I (19M) just went on a first date with an awesome (19F) girl. I felt like we really clicked. We went to a really nice restaurant and had great conversation. I walked there but she drove, so she drove me home. I had an opportunity to kiss her but I didn’t do it. I regretted that I didn’t as soon as I got into my building. Is this a bad thing? She said she wanted to hang out again sometime, but I feel like I should’ve seized the moment. Generally, should you give a girl a kiss when you have a good time on a first date? Submitted October 09, 2021 at 01:00AM I (19M) just went on a first date with an awesome (19F) girl. I felt like we really clicked. We went to a really nice restaurant and had great conversation. I walked there but she drove, so she drove me home. I had an opportunity to kiss her but I didn’t do it. I regretted that I didn’t as soon as I got into my building. Is this a bad thing? She said she wanted to hang out again sometime, but I feel like I should’ve seized the m...

Is there a cure for prudishness and puritanical fear?

I feel so unfit to live in the US. I am a veteran with ptsd and an ex-Christian who loathes religious faith. But part of me is still puritanical and I utterly despise myself for being unfit To live in a first world society. Submitted October 09, 2021 at 01:05AM I feel so unfit to live in the US. I am a veteran with ptsd and an ex-Christian who loathes religious faith. But part of me is still puritanical and I utterly despise myself for being unfit To live in a first world society.

/u/Thalassophile-79 on any asexual people in the UK on here?

hello! ♠️ :) October 09, 2021 at 12:09AM

/u/ArcadiaRivea on any asexual people in the UK on here?

Yes, Hampshire! October 09, 2021 at 12:04AM

/u/TicTicTicEm on How do you feel about gender?

Yeah, it feel like it's more of a social construct than anything. I mean like the only affect it has is biologically. Why should that have any affect on you otherwise. As long as you are comfortable with it, then i don't think it should be as defining. I mean gender roles are oppressive and damaging to people. It makes women feel weak, or like objects. It makes Men feel pressured to be strong, and masculine. It makes people who don't confirm to either, and other things, feel confused, messed up, or lost. It's so damaging. October 09, 2021 at 12:04AM

/u/AudiKitty on Has anyone else become disinterested in a piece of media after seeing a lot of 'thirst posts' online over involved actors/characters?

Yeah, it makes me feel disinterested because I dont want to be associated with the thirsty fans :\ October 09, 2021 at 12:03AM

/u/ArcadiaRivea on Your background and family

Ooh ok, that's interesting! Thank you! October 09, 2021 at 12:02AM

My boyfriend’s fapping is driving me nuts

Context: I’ve never had a problem with my partners masturbating before, then again none of my previous partners ever made me feel like they preferred to masturbate over me. Honestly, it’s a complete turn-off if my SO prefers to masturbate. I understand it’s convenient, good to yank one out before bed, prostate cancer prevention, sex drive maintenance, what have you. But my kink is to be desired and knowing my partner prefers fantasy over a real person completely turns me off. Specially when we fight over normal things like cleaning, cooking, and bills, he completely shuts off and doesn’t touch me. He says that fighting turns him off. Yo, long term relationships normally have disagreements over household responsibilities. Shutting people down and withdrawing affection after common disagreements breeds resentment, and why would you breed resentment over the person who’s making you orgasm? You gotta protect that shit. Orgasms are sacred. I developed severe panic attacks every time he to...

I (M23) Did A Bad Job Taking Her (F22) Virginity, What Now? [Long But TL;DR]

Background Prior to us dating we had been friends for 2 years and we never really talked about sex. She (F22) has been with me (M23) when I've gone "condom shopping", seen me with hickies and seen me with other girls I dated while we were friends. She know's I've been sexually active with two other women prior to our relationship. She has had boyfriends in the past however she said she was unable to have PIV sex with them because of "lack of foreplay". Our conversations never really went past that point because we kept it pretty respectful as friends. Fast forward 2 years and we started seeing each other romantically. We've been together for around 3 months and had sex for the first time this weekend however it went badly. I was hungover from a party the night before, and drank with her in the hotel, which resulted in me getting whiskey dick. The First Attempt Although I set up the mood perfectly with a boujee hotel room, drinks, great view and ...

I (M/25) still have feelings for my girlfriend (F/30) but I want to break up with her also due to our discrepancies in sexual past. Conflicted and need advice on what to do.

Let me start by saying that I’m new to Reddit so I don’t really know if I’m in the right place to get advice. I started dating my girlfriend about 8 months back. She’s my first girlfriend and first sexual partner. I had a rough childhood including bullying and alot of rejection from women which explains the late start. Over the past couple years, I’ve been doing my best to improve myself and my mental health. However, I recently discovered that before me, she had been with 9 guys. I know 9 isn’t alot for a 30 year old and most of you will say I’m overreacting and I should let the past stay in the past but it continues to bother me for some reason. It makes me feel inferior and as if I missed out. I’ve tried to get over it but nothing seems to be working. I still have feelings for her but I also want to break up because of this. I’ve come to the conclusion that we should just move on from each other and find people that we are both comfortable with and can accept us fully. I’m really s...

Sex fantasies about fictional characters

My first crush was on Darth Vader. When I was 17, my mind ABOUNDED with sexual fantasies about Hannibal Lecter after watching 'Silence of the Lambs.' Primarily, I fantasized about having him sit on my face so that I could lick/eat him out (no pun intended). I was so physically attracted to him. It was wild. Has anyone else ever experienced this sort of thing with fictional characters? Is it common for a character to really turn you on? I don't really care how "normal" this is. I'm just curious about other people's experiences. Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:22AM My first crush was on Darth Vader.When I was 17, my mind ABOUNDED with sexual fantasies about Hannibal Lecter after watching 'Silence of the Lambs.' Primarily, I fantasized about having him sit on my face so that I could lick/eat him out (no pun intended). I was so physically attracted to him. It was wild.Has anyone else ever experienced this sort of thing with fictional charact...

is jacking off 4-8 times a day OK? (I'm a 15 year old male)

is jacking off 4-8 times a day OK? (I'm a 15 year old male) I'm constantly horny and it's not that I'm addicted to jacking off but I feel like I need to do it every day and If i don't do it at least 2 times a day I start to get a bit of pain in my balls that keeps getting worse. Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:30AM is jacking off 4-8 times a day OK? (I'm a 15 year old male) I'm constantly horny and it's not that I'm addicted to jacking off but I feel like I need to do it every day and If i don't do it at least 2 times a day I start to get a bit of pain in my balls that keeps getting worse.

How do I ask someone if they want to have sex?

I've been dating someone for about a week. How long should I wait before I ask her if she wants to do it? How do I ask her? What do I say? Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:44AM I've been dating someone for about a week. How long should I wait before I ask her if she wants to do it? How do I ask her? What do I say?

How do I tell the difference between “everyone having flaws” and red flags for me?

Everyone has flaws obviously but I can’t seem to know when I’m being too picky or it’s something I know won’t work being in a relationship with me. For example here is a list of characteristics I said I can’t deal with: always wanting to be right, arrogant, bad communication skills/ doesn’t open up, emotionally unavailable, selfish, indecisive, excessive drinking/drugs, yelling at me when arguing, can’t control anger. Sometimes I feel like it’s too much on the list and that I’m picky about but I genuinely don’t believe a relationship could work with me with any of those traits and I believe I will be unhappy. Will I have to settle eventually? Submitted October 08, 2021 at 11:56PM Everyone has flaws obviously but I can’t seem to know when I’m being too picky or it’s something I know won’t work being in a relationship with me. For example here is a list of characteristics I said I can’t deal with: always wanting to be right, arrogant, bad communication skills/ doesn’t open up, emo...

Boyfriend (m22)caught me(f21)on hinge. How do I salvage a friendship

We’ve had a rocky relationship the past 3 years. On and off, mostly because of his immaturity and commitment issues. However, since we have so many mutual friends and live so close we always find ourselves back to each other. During one of our breakups I dated someone else for a few months. That ended and one of the factors to why it ended was because my ex was still in pursuit of me. After that breakup I told my ex that I wanted to be friends but wasn’t ready for a relationship, he convinced me but I knew deep down that it would end the exact same way.in the past month, things were good and he was a great bf but I always kept my app just in case. (It sorta became just washroom pass time) I would match with guys but never really replied. The only time I would reply was to ask for career advice from guys with high paying jobs. (As a way to network, stupid I know) Well, he ended up catching me and broke up with me again. Truthfully I don’t want to get back together but how do I try and...

Is it inappropriate to ask a girl (23f) to stay the night at my 25m) place after two months of dating?

We aren’t official but it’s heading that way. We have hung out a ton and last week was the first time she saw my place. We are supposed to hangout late tomorrow night since we both work late. Our places of work are near my house. Would it be wrong to ask her to spend the night since we might be drinking? She doesn’t want to rush a relationship and I agree. I don’t want to have sex yet so I’d let her sleep in my bed while I slept in another room. What are your thoughts? Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:05AM We aren’t official but it’s heading that way. We have hung out a ton and last week was the first time she saw my place. We are supposed to hangout late tomorrow night since we both work late. Our places of work are near my house.Would it be wrong to ask her to spend the night since we might be drinking? She doesn’t want to rush a relationship and I agree. I don’t want to have sex yet so I’d let her sleep in my bed while I slept in another room. What are your thoughts?

Dating is a never ending loop of mindless games

You match with someone, you have nice time, and you pay because obviously you're a guy and that's etiquette. You make plans for the second date, you come home, they thank you for the nice time, you text them back, then radio silence, you open up the app that you matched on and see you got unmatched. I don't even think I'll bother checking in if our second date is still on or not. Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:08AM You match with someone, you have nice time, and you pay because obviously you're a guy and that's etiquette. You make plans for the second date, you come home, they thank you for the nice time, you text them back, then radio silence, you open up the app that you matched on and see you got unmatched. I don't even think I'll bother checking in if our second date is still on or not.

I don’t know how to do this

Okay, so I (27f) haven’t been back in the dating game too long, but I have had a few dates. This past weekend, I went on a date with this guy (28m) and we really hit it off. He’s handsome, kind, we have a lot in common, etc. We ended up hanging out again the next night and I spent the night (I know, I know) and then he took me out to breakfast in the morning (his suggestion). We’ve been texting ever since but things haven’t been nearly as flirty. He has a pretty demanding job and a little boy so it could completely be that he’s just busy. My problem is that even when I flirt, it isn’t returned. He’s nice and seems very interested in our conversations (texting first, asking questions, etc.) but I can’t for the life of me figure out why he stopped flirting. We live about an hour apart and he has his son this weekend so we couldn’t see each other if he wanted to but idk. I just don’t know how to figure this out. Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:14AM Okay, so I (27f) haven’t been ba...