How do I tell the difference between “everyone having flaws” and red flags for me?

Everyone has flaws obviously but I can’t seem to know when I’m being too picky or it’s something I know won’t work being in a relationship with me. For example here is a list of characteristics I said I can’t deal with: always wanting to be right, arrogant, bad communication skills/ doesn’t open up, emotionally unavailable, selfish, indecisive, excessive drinking/drugs, yelling at me when arguing, can’t control anger. Sometimes I feel like it’s too much on the list and that I’m picky about but I genuinely don’t believe a relationship could work with me with any of those traits and I believe I will be unhappy. Will I have to settle eventually?



Submitted October 08, 2021 at 11:56PM

Everyone has flaws obviously but I can’t seem to know when I’m being too picky or it’s something I know won’t work being in a relationship with me. For example here is a list of characteristics I said I can’t deal with: always wanting to be right, arrogant, bad communication skills/ doesn’t open up, emotionally unavailable, selfish, indecisive, excessive drinking/drugs, yelling at me when arguing, can’t control anger. Sometimes I feel like it’s too much on the list and that I’m picky about but I genuinely don’t believe a relationship could work with me with any of those traits and I believe I will be unhappy. Will I have to settle eventually?

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