Could you try/have you tried therapy? Even speaking to a sexologist? I'm ace and have a sexologist I see occasionally and I just find her to be really validating and helpful in understanding my feelings about sex and my past experiences. Growing up sheltered with sex cast in a bad light could absolutely effect how you feel about it now. But you could also just be ace (whether you always were or are as a result of your upbringing - both valid), and like many people who have gone through the emotions of discovering this about themselves, that can feel super uncomfortable at first. If you don't experience sexual attraction or desire, you classify as being ace. But sexuality is fluid and can change. You can also be ace and crave romantic connection, they are seperate :) I understand the heartache of wanting a romantic connection with people who need the sexual connection, and you can't offer it. It's a struggle many ace people face. Please try not to fall down the rabbit...

Asexually is a hard thing to deal with, especially in later life. It does sound like your Ace, even if it was trauma you would still be Ace. I recommend having an honest conversation with your partner, and try to determine how to move forward. You are not broken, you cannot change it, there are hundreds of people like you, who deal with this fear and doubt, and you'll find the person who completes you eventually. October 04, 2022 at 12:42AM

…yet the jokes never stop October 04, 2022 at 12:42AM

This ☝🏻 you’ve summed up my feelings on that situation. October 04, 2022 at 12:38AM

Yeah the thing is, with this person’s kink, they were interested in the denial of sex. They told me that what turned them on is the fact there IS no sex. October 04, 2022 at 12:36AM

Hi 27M from Georgia, USA really bored looking for someone to chat Submitted October 04, 2022 at 12:14AM Hi27M from Georgia, USA really bored looking for someone to chat

So I met someone last night, she seems quite chill, we had a good conversation and I got her number. Only problem is that I don't know how to follow up. I seem stumped and everything opener I think of seems awful Submitted October 04, 2022 at 12:15AM So I met someone last night, she seems quite chill, we had a good conversation and I got her number. Only problem is that I don't know how to follow up. I seem stumped and everything opener I think of seems awful