I can see why this could be upsetting, but it sounds a lot like how I call myself basically straight. (Romantic) attraction to men? Check! Comfortable with having sex with someone I'm in a relationship with? Check! Sexual attraction? No, but is that really necessary? However demisexual is 100% valid and count as ace and it's not my place to tell someone demi what they can and can't find valid description wise. Anyone who tries to erase them will face my wrath. July 17, 2020 at 12:00AM

Two aces is a pair, three is a three of a kind, four is four of a kind July 17, 2020 at 12:00AM

asexuality isn't aromanticism. You can still have romantic feelings for someone if you're ace. July 16, 2020 at 11:56PM

I'd still eat it July 16, 2020 at 11:55PM

I used to want children. Then I realized I just wanted to micro-manage things. So I turned to other things July 16, 2020 at 11:55PM

Look at the bright side...it's kinda an aro cake! July 16, 2020 at 11:54PM

It’s cause “normal” people are supposed to be hyper sexual but being a good person means repressing those feelings. Obviously if you’re not sexual you can’t repress those feelings so you can’t be a good person. You become a good person by denying yourself something natural. That’s the mindset many “sex is bad” preaching people have. It’s unconscious but it’s there. I would know. I used to be one of those people. July 16, 2020 at 11:54PM

That's a great start that you are starting to feel valid! Never forget that you ARE valid. July 16, 2020 at 11:53PM

Heh I think I have the same one. Amazon? July 16, 2020 at 11:50PM

I have actually. It’s called the Uniball Air. It’s an awesome pen July 16, 2020 at 11:50PM

I'm an asexual who married an allo-sexual partner and I feel pretty erased by the ace community, particularly with how people explain asexuality to others. In my experience it's not really malicious, but I don't really feel like a part of the community. It's gotten to the point where I call myself "basically straight" to all the people who know I'm ace. July 16, 2020 at 11:49PM

"Maybe you have nothing to offer anyone." Oof, felt that line super hard. I think that's why I've never even really tried to be in a relationship. Thanks for sharing your perspective, I think I needed to read something like that right now. July 16, 2020 at 11:46PM

It's pretty ridiculous how excluded aces who have sex are in the community. I have sex because it feels good (for me) and it makes my partner really happy. I could live without it pretty easily but who cares? If I have sex it shouldn't matter as long as everyone is happy and consenting. It doesn't mean I am sexually attracted to people, because I'm not and that's all that Asexual means. There's more than one reason to have sex. July 16, 2020 at 11:44PM

All good. I’m not religious but we were taught that you should know someone well before you date them or anything. I saw someone write this; the difference between demisexual/demiromantic from morals/other sexualities is that demis cannot feel that attraction until there is a strong bond, whereas other sexualities there is abstinence until there is a bond. I don’t remember the exact wording of it but it was something like that. July 16, 2020 at 11:38PM

Nah, I'm allo. I'd still probably go for the pen first. July 16, 2020 at 11:36PM

Nice! Mabye you should do Artemis next! Definitely AroAce, (That whole Orion thing is a lie,at mist they were friends, 18th century artists and poets writing on there interpretation be dammed!) July 16, 2020 at 11:33PM

Well fuck, it seems I am a baby. July 16, 2020 at 11:28PM

I believe people here in this community ( /r/asexuality ) are some of the most accepting and open people ever. But, anyone who is telling you those things irl does so for the same reason all peoples shit on another's way of life. Ignorance. Hardly anyone understands what asexuality is all about. They have their notions of what things are and how things should be and react with hostility to things that challenge their preconceived notions. Sadly, the lgbt community at large is not immune to this, though it would be hoped that they'd be the first to back us up, having been victims of similar experiences throughout history themselves. But, places like this, and asexuality.org are working to change that. In the mean time, I'm sorry you have to deal with that crap. All you can do is try and educate people. July 16, 2020 at 11:23PM

Welcome! We are here for you. July 16, 2020 at 11:21PM

I am very interested to hear your advice here. I really cocked it up this year. Ever since my wife Robin and I got married, each year for our anniversary I try and get the traditional gift of a Robin for her. To explain: 1st anniversary is paper, so I made her an oragami Robin. 2nd is cotton so I got her a plush stuffed Robin. 3rd is leather, so I had a friend that does leathercraft create this. 4th is silk so I had my mother silk-ribbon embroider this. This year is our fifth, and for GOD ONLY KNOWS what reason, I had it in my head all year that this was our crystal anniversary. So, being that we are Scotch-Irish I figured it would be super cool to get her the Waterford Crystal Robin. Which I did, I found two online from different places and ordered them. Beautiful set. Except, this is not our crystal anniversary year. It's friggin wood. I have enough time before the anniversary and ordered some nice hand carved wooden Robins from the Amazons there but ... shit. Cr

https://ift.tt/397SxIy Submitted July 16, 2020 at 11:49PM https://ift.tt/397SxIy

Just wanted to share with someone... I met a guy on Tinder a few weeks ago. We started texting immediately and I totally felt a connection. Not my usual type but I thought I would like him. We discussed our risk factors and given that both of us had been self-isolating and tested negative recently we would meet for dinner at an outdoor patio. He ends up taking me to a really expensive steakhouse and orders a seafood tower on top of the steak he ordered. I picked the cheapest thing on the menu. Immediately upon meeting I realize he was not my type at all. He was completely disinterested in my job or half of my stories and I had a hard time trying to find common ground to talk about anything. Plus he told me about his business he owns, which seemed really shady and since I work in HR, about half of his tactics are illegal. He paid for dinner when I was in the bathroom (I would have insisted we go half, especially knowing how it was going), and then he walked me to my car. I was awk

I’ve [f37] been chatting to [M33] For about 7 months. It was completely just as friends for the first 4 months, as I was flirting with another guy (I’ll call him haggis) beforehand. I only get flirty with one guy at a time. What ever the thing was with haggis it was never defined. He was unreliable and inattentive, in hindsight he talked a lot of bs too. I was actually quite anxious most of the time I talked with him, because of how vague things were and his behaviour. Haggis was my first ld whatever it was, I didn’t know any better, I thought that was what a ldr was like, A kind of online fwb. until I started talking More with [m33] And Realised there were other communication styles. He’d even pointed out that it was weird things weren’t defined between haggis and me. Anyway things with haggis went south, he called it off. I wasn’t ready for the dent to my self esteem at that time, but I knew it was for the best. I didn’t tell [m33] That things had ended with haggis for almost a mo