Late happy birthday! March 23, 2021 at 11:53PM

I had a partner before figuring out I was ace and felt pressured into having sex. Both directly by my partner, and the whole social norm that you're "meant to" in heteronormative relationships. Yeah it's not a pleasant situation to be in. Seeing a therapist definitely sounds like it might be helpful for you. Being pressured into sex is an issue in itself so might be possible to just talk about that if concerned about therapist not understanding about asexuality. March 23, 2021 at 11:46PM

Also for those in a relationship your sex life is no ones business. I lost count of how that’s one of the first things people ask me whenever I mention I’m in a relationship :/ March 23, 2021 at 11:45PM

I'm sorry you had to go through these experiences. Pressure from someone who says they love you can be too real sometimes. Even if a therapist doesn't understand fully asexuality, some of them do have experience with sexual trauma leading to the idea of their clients never wanting sex again even if they are not asexual. Hopefully OP finds a patient therapist like this. March 23, 2021 at 11:45PM

I would appreciate this more if I didn't hate this book. March 23, 2021 at 11:41PM

Yes March 23, 2021 at 11:36PM

Hey man its no problem! :) March 23, 2021 at 11:28PM

Haha, well recently my gut's been flipping between confused screaming and being distracted by hunger (on a serious note I appreciate the advice, I think actually talking about this makes the decision more real) March 23, 2021 at 11:25PM

I’m sex indifferent but I would say yes if it’s in a sexual context. But touch in general nah not really. I might get butterflies if I think the person is cute but that’s more of an aesthetic/sensual thing March 23, 2021 at 11:21PM

That explains a lot. For your own safety, then, don't pursue the conversation further. You're still a legal minor. Start plans now for your own "emancipation". Once you're out from under her roof you're free to express your identity. I'm NOT fondly remembering my teenage years where I was controlled in everything I said and did simply because they owned the house. March 23, 2021 at 11:21PM

I mean you go with your gut ya know? But waiting to do stuff during university is a good choice too March 23, 2021 at 11:21PM

No problem. Remember to always prioritize your safety. Moving out of a toxic environment is good but it's rough out there. Make a plan. Hopefully, you'll have someone to fall back on when you come of age if you can't get a place of your own. I'm rooting for you. March 23, 2021 at 11:20PM

u/dogeatpawworld Pretending to not know Kylie Jenner while being a TikToker is cringe. 😆😆 March 23, 2021 at 11:18PM

Damn that was a fast reply, thanks! Yeah I guess the reason I'm asking is mostly to gauge whether I'm in a situation where I should consider coming out to a few people I trust or if I should hold on and wait a year or two until I've tried some stuff at uni and gotten a clearer picture. Edit: Also good luck to you too in whatever you're doing. Sounds like you deserve it! March 23, 2021 at 11:17PM

This, but imo Beren and Luthien’s might actually be the most “erotic” of the love stories. I’m basing this on the fact that during their meetings there’s a lot of focusing on each other’s beauty, body movements and particular features; and while that could be aesthetic attraction, I find it indicative that it’s even more prominent than the one between Turin and Nienor (whose attraction brought to involuntary incest) But hey, Tolkien is very ace friendly overall, I don’t see why the characters might not be ace :) March 23, 2021 at 11:16PM

Yeah, I'm a biromantic asexual, and my sis is biromantic demisexual March 23, 2021 at 11:16PM

I get what you mean, I'm only really out to close people that know about it and understand. I didn't really have any big declaration that I was ace to them either, I just made myself an ace themed bracelet and one of my friends asked if it was supposed to be the ace flag. I'm really glad that they noticed and that all my friends are so supportive, but I don't think I'll come out to my family unless I'm at my wit's end about them asking who my significant other is. I'm still kind of young so I probably have a good few years still before anyone notices my lack of romantic partners. It makes me glad that my dad is pretty 'its not really any of my business' kind of person and hasn't asked me yet. March 23, 2021 at 11:15PM

Ikr, I thought I was alone in thinking this way about songs. It sucks bc I kinda like hip-hop, I love vibing to beats but every hip-hop artist must rap about sex and "bitches on their dick" which sucks March 23, 2021 at 11:15PM

Get an ace of cloves pin March 23, 2021 at 11:14PM

This is exactly how she is. Hopefully I can move out sooner than later. Thanks for the encouragement 🖤💜 March 23, 2021 at 11:13PM

Oh March 23, 2021 at 11:13PM

Inthe ace community there is a running joke that cake is better than sex, and thus cake has become a huge meme (along with dragons but that's another story), and redditors are obsessed with their cake days March 23, 2021 at 11:12PM

I mean I'm 25 and ace, it's really never too late to question or experiment with your gender or sexuality. You can be ace/aro and look at porn etc. It's ok to try different labels and stuff too! Just always remember: you are never a bad person for questioning/ finding out who you really are! :) i wish you luck! March 23, 2021 at 11:12PM