I think that I have a medium/high libido and I have many kinks or small fetishes. This makes me confuse sometimes. When I read about asexuality the first time, I thought that I was near but that I couldn't be it, because I have kinks and I masturbate with some frequency (Obviously I was wrong about this). But thinking about it and my asexuality, makes sense. For example, the way that watch porn material and what material. I find pretty boring watching "normal" porn. Seeing two people making sex don't arouse me. It's more like that I need that they wear something that I find "sexy" and/or are doing something more spicy that simply putting the reproductive organs of one inside of the other. ​ Also, I felt very frustrated sometimes. I have these desires, but at same time I'm not attracted sexually to nobody. Trying to do it with a person that I don't know, felts very annoyance. I need to have some confidence and friendship with the other person.

I need to kiss my cats then May 08, 2019 at 05:59AM

We're glad to have you here as well :) May 08, 2019 at 05:55AM

Ace-let May 08, 2019 at 05:44AM

This. It’s a lot easier to tell if it’s a crush or a squish by asking yourself what you want from the relationship May 08, 2019 at 05:41AM

Excuse me while I go tell that chocolate cake in my fridge how much I love it May 08, 2019 at 05:39AM

It's international garlic bread day May 08, 2019 at 05:31AM

Second coming of Christ? ;-) May 08, 2019 at 05:29AM

Sorta true, because I've slept with a lot of my friends in a casual, non-committed context. Also not true, because sometimes you don't think your friend is good looking. May 08, 2019 at 05:28AM

Please remember that your talking to Reddittors of all people. Reddittors. Let that sink in... P.S. I personally think that asexual people are oppressed, primarily in dating - as an ace (maybe demi?) man, I'm constantly (daily) put down and bullied on dating apps even though I say that I'm ace. I get r*pe jokes, bullied to leave the platform, targeted harassment from people that have multiple accounts (on the same dating platform), etc. It also doesn't help that if you are ace and you want an ace relationship you have to either get insanely lucky and find another ace or have to be in an open relationship (which I personally don't like. I've tried an open relationships but none have turned out good). May 08, 2019 at 05:24AM

I have noticed I am so different to most people when it comes to my attitude towards dating. I don't do casual dating, not even kissing. I need to feel love if I do it. I cannot date a guy who has been dating someone casually when I meet him. When I meet a great guy, it's rare and I am not dating multiple people and cannot see myself doing this, because I know what I want in a guy and when I will meet him I will for certain at least know "this could be it" and focus on him. I cannot go out with a guy who isn't exclusive from the start, a guy who might still be dating somebody else, be in a relationship with somebody else, still sleeping with somebody else etc. Everybody sees things so casually nowadays. I remember having my first serious boyfriend and we were into each other from the get go and it was clear. Of course nowadays I am hopefully a bit wiser and older and not rush into things, but is it really going to help the bonding process if there are other

Which is a huge turnoff for me, don’t get me wrong I love sex as much as the next person but not when I’ve just matched and swapped numbers and chatted for a few days and not even met yet. We arranged to meet, one evening next week and I said I was feeling a little bit anxious and she said she is sure it will go ok but if not we can just have a hard, rough fuck in the bathroom?! Is it just me or is that a bit rapey? Submitted May 06, 2019 at 11:02AM Which is a huge turnoff for me, don’t get me wrong I love sex as much as the next person but not when I’ve just matched and swapped numbers and chatted for a few days and not even met yet.We arranged to meet, one evening next week and I said I was feeling a little bit anxious and she said she is sure it will go ok but if not we can just have a hard, rough fuck in the bathroom?!Is it just me or is that a bit rapey?

Tell us how your weekend went! Good date? New relationship? Good food or a great movie? Submitted May 06, 2019 at 11:12AM Tell us how your weekend went! Good date? New relationship? Good food or a great movie?

My S/O (34/M) and I (30/F) have dated for the past 4 years (the last two of which being an LDR). We are very much in love and would like to get married and plan a future together, however, we are from a country where civil marriages are not recognized - so he would need to convert (it would be illegal for me to convert). We are both not religious but our families are and I cannot begin to imagine the shame, guilt and overall pain this would cause his family if he was to convert. I imagine our only option would be to live and marry in a western country where civil marriage is possible and have the parents eventually get over it? I cant imagine having him convert when we both aren't religious to begin with and wouldn't want him to resent me in the future over this. Or is this a sign that we should break our hearts and just walk away from this because it shouldn't be this complicated? There's nothing more I would want in my life than to be with him and have our own family

I could really use some outside perspective on this.  So I [28 m] was in a relationship with with a 42 year old woman - she has 2 kids, is divorced, and let's call her Shannon - and am not sure if she's just manipulative or I'm an asshole for real. Just fyi I'm a virgin. We started texting last February, and quickly realized we had a lot of things in common and conversations were really great. Eventually we started discussing more intimate things, and although we couldn't physically hang out - I was finishing my BS in NY, and she lived in my home state of TX - we texted every day. One of those days she asked me what my parents would think if we dated. My reply was that they wouldn't care, which was true - because when I went back that May after graduation I told them I was seeing her. I didn't think I had anything to hide, and I stood behind my decision.  Anyway, back to February, after a few days after she asked about dating, she told me that she had had

I’ve started dating this last year for the first time in three years and it has been such a confusing process and I’m struggling with setting boundaries while also remaining flexible/not being a rigid bitch lol. I had a date loosely set up from an app for today (didn’t decide on a time) and I woke up to a text this morning asking to reschedule. This shit gets under my skin because I am a busy person with limited time which isn’t his fault so I try to be aware of that but that means I’m rearranging work responsibilities to clear a free night (obviously lightening my load is something I’m working on right now/know I need to change) and I’m sort of annoyed. My instinct is to not want to go out with him again because I feel like it’s rude and flakey bc we picked this day a week ago but then I’m like ok stop being so rigid and learn to be more flexible. Idk! Is it asking a lot to find a dude that can actually follow through? I want somebody that is going to show up right from the start but

Hi! I’ve been on a dating hiatus since Christmas and I’m wondering about other people’s experiences doing the same. Did you take a break from dating? How? When? Why? All the good and bad please! :) Submitted May 07, 2019 at 01:10PM Hi! I’ve been on a dating hiatus since Christmas and I’m wondering about other people’s experiences doing the same. Did you take a break from dating? How? When? Why? All the good and bad please! :)

So I had a date last weekend, and while she checked off all the boxes, there is just something intangible that’s pushing me to not schedule another one. I can’t really describe what it is, just a feeling that I’m not really into this person. Thing is, I don’t get dates very often, so I feel guilty rejecting someone who is otherwise attractive, educated, ambitious, etc just because something “feels off”. Do you listen to your gut? How do you get past that “people who are interested in you don’t come along very often, can you really afford to reject someone” feeling? Submitted May 07, 2019 at 02:51PM So I had a date last weekend, and while she checked off all the boxes, there is just something intangible that’s pushing me to not schedule another one. I can’t really describe what it is, just a feeling that I’m not really into this person. Thing is, I don’t get dates very often, so I feel guilty rejecting someone who is otherwise attractive, educated, ambitious, etc just because som

I'm turning 33 soon and I broke up with a guy I was dating for 4.5 months about 3 months ago. It was a short, intense relationship. We were exclusive after four dates, he said, "I love you," within a month, and he invited me to meet his whole family across the country a month later. He was incredibly smart and kind, and one of the most interesting people I had ever met. Initially, we talked for hours a day and it seemed like we had so much in common, and I thought that maybe I had found my person. He told me he had never felt this way about anyone, and I was excited about our future. However, we started fighting a lot about 2 months in. The first time was when he was about to meet my friends for the first time. He told me earlier in the day he would definitely be there, and to text him when we were heading to the bar. When I did, he replied, "I'll let you girls have fun; I don't want you to get sick of me just yet haha." I was worried I had said someth

I’ll keep this brief. I met a guy a few months back and our interactions were really healthy. Until one night we got extremely intimate and the both of us sort of freaked. Mind you, neither of us had slept with anyone in a long time. So, we attempted to discuss the circumstances, but I went back into this old pattern of shutting him out. Since then I have been really upset with myself, because I did not allow for things to unfold organically after the fact. I basically told him to not talk to me. We met up recently for coffee, but kept the discussion casual. My question is whether I should even try to reconnect with him on that level. He’s definitely more distant, which I understand given my actions. After our meetup he sent a really sweet message, which gave me a glimpse of hope. But is he just being kind? I am treading deep waters right now. It’s either I dive in and risk being flat out rejected or I continue to ponder what if. Submitted May 07, 2019 at 01:56PM I’ll keep t

No text found Submitted May 07, 2019 at 03:39PM No text found

Somewhat recently divorced after over a decade, so Online Dating is not something I've ever even considered. In my head I thought it'd maybe be useful to filter folks to narrow options some (example: not interested in having more kids), but apparently not many of them do that (Bumble and Tinder don't I believe), but instead it sorta feels like a meat market, primarily or at least initially sorting based on looks, then some clues to an individual based on their blurb, and then you have to initiate something to even get a clue of anything further. And then you might get excited or curious about someone and then immediately find it just won't work out, that's a lot of emotional energy that doesn't seem super worthwhile. Maybe I'm overthinking all of it. And yes, I think all those factors exist in real life interactions too, I just wondered if the OLD world had refined some of this more then it appears. The big plus of OLD it seems is just that there is a clea

OK, So I met and hit it off with a guy 2 weeks ago. We talked on FB for 6+ months. Anyways, so like, he's pretty serious after the first date we had on 4/20 (there's since been a lot more - including car shopping.) I'm going with the flow and not trying to get super into a relationship that hasn't even made it to a month. So I planned on going to a wedding as a plus one back in October. The wedding is next week. I'm going with my best friend, who's a male. Now, the new boyfriend is sorta flipping out (this is on FB Chat.. can't really tell the anger or upset.) about me being someone's date. I'm also driving 7 hours to get to Nebraska... so this isn't like I go for an evening of cocktails and dressing up. This is us hanging out and me sleeping on couches. I attended a wedding in Nebraska in October and I slept on the couch and he on his bed. How do you guys feel if your new girlfriend was someone's date as a plus one to a wedding? It wou

Been seeing a guy for 6 months, official for 1 month. We fight a lot. Up until now I didn’t really mind it because it is usually productive and we learn a lot about each other. I figured it was just kind of our style of communicating on harder issues. But recently it’s really wearing on me. I feel like I am frequently thinking about all my flaws and how to be better, but I want to be true to myself and not be sorry for my flaws either, and so I have to find some middle ground and then communicate that to him. I am in therapy and going through a lot of big life changes so this added relationship dynamic has been really making it hard for me to make sense of my priorities. My head is just in a tizzy a lot. He’s also going through big changes and I feel like maybe we need to take a step back and focus on our own lives for a bit. There’s a part of me that feels like this might be good for us right now, but then I wonder if maybe we aren’t compatible and taking a break is just a way for

So I met this guy through matching on tinder on the first day I got the app, and then finding out our parents were friends (my mom had planned to introduce me when I moved!). We shortly moved over to fb messenger after and have been messaging for just over a month. We finally met on Monday and had a great first date- he actually picked me up to drive me to a job interview and waited in the car while I was at it- then he drove and toured me around the city near where we live (I recently moved to where he lives hence the one month of just messaging), then we went out for a nice lunch. He paid for lunch but I paid for the ice cream after, which was also delicious. After that, we toured around some more before going back to his place and playing video games for a while before my mom asked me to come home for dinner. Originally we had plans to play soccer in the evening the next day but he asked if I was down to spend the day with him tomorrow in the city we were going to play soccer in.

I'm a 39M, single. Recently a married couple who.i am friends with told me about an acquaintance who they think I would be a good match with. From what they have described she is attractive, funny, nice, and wants kids. Essentially checks all the boxes on what I am looking for in a partner. I have done a little snooping on social media, and what I've seen seems to confirm their description. The woman in question is the Tour Manager for a musician, and therefore travels a lot. This has its own issues, but considering how long I've been single I am willing to step outside of my normal comfort zone, and at very least have a nice date with someone new. I've looked at the tour dates for the musician and it is going to be a couple of months before she is back in my area, giving me a chance to potentially meet her. My question is, should I reach out through social media to introduce myself, get to know her a little, and possibly have a date set up for the next time she is in

So I wanted to find out between couples are there any relationship dilemmas qns? Eg: Is your partner allowed to hang out with their preferred sex for a day together? Submitted May 08, 2019 at 06:32AM So I wanted to find out between couples are there any relationship dilemmas qns?Eg: Is your partner allowed to hang out with their preferred sex for a day together?

Ok, so I (M) met a lady online last weekend for coffee and went on date this past weekend. We ended the night having sex and it was a mutual desire, no coercing from me. Sex was great, but as a person she’s not my type so now time to say goodbye. I obviously feel like a dick bc we had sex and I’m saying goodbye. What would a women prefer to be texted? I thought something like the following: “Hi. I had a great time this weekend and we seem to have lots in common. Unfortunately with our busy lives I don’t see this going forward. I’d love to remain friends, especially with the triathlon thing. “ One female friend says that fine. The other female friend says that’s being a dick if I send that text. To just give her the cold shoulder until she figures it out (not ghost necessarily). Thoughts? Submitted May 07, 2019 at 07:41PM Ok, so I (M) met a lady online last weekend for coffee and went on date this past weekend. We ended the night having sex and it was a mutual desire, no coerc

I'm 34/M and have been on OLD for 10 years (been on everything short of Tinder, including Catholic focused dating sites). Most relationships (as others have experienced) have been short, save for four where the other person was emotionally unstable, wanted a "trophy", or needed "saving" (I ended one such relationship a year ago). I've been ghosted, stood up, and told many times that the woman didn't see me as anything more than a friend (or even given some weird excuses). Granted, I'm not the most socially confident person sometimes. The last two dating partners have definitely brought out some frustration. ​ - The first (slightly older, Catholic like me, and divorced) met with me for four hours after going to church together, and we had great conversation. However, she seemed to be always busy when I tried to schedule Date #2, and I had a few business trips as well. She said not to worry and that we weren't in a rush, but she later texted me

Or that they're a bad person. What things tell you more than the things they say? Submitted May 07, 2019 at 08:48PM Or that they're a bad person. What things tell you more than the things they say?

I (42m) don’t really want to be with my wife (39f) anymore and don’t know what to do. About 2 years ago my wife’s house of cards came tumbling down, you see she had buried us in a lot of terrible debt and kept it hidden. Over the course of 8 months the true failure of her attempt to manage the household finances came out; we were forced from our rental home because of continuous late payments on rent, our daughter was kicked out of preschool because the tuition wasn’t paid, and what started as a couple thousand in debt was revealed to be over $27k. I was forced to drag each nugget of truth out her bit-by-bit or I found it after I spoke with a fiscal advisor and did a credit check. Initially she mislead me about the why we were moving and worked really hard to make sure I didn’t come into contact with our rental manager. Unfortunately for me we were moving in and signed a new lease for a new place as her lies fell apart. Over the next few months I lost about 25 pounds because I could