Emotional affair

I'm married, have been with my husband 18 years. Things in my marriage were ok, we've worked through a lot of issues. Last fall, I met a guy online,I wasn't looking, it just happened. He messaged me something random, I asked him what that was about, we started talking and I went and fell in love with him. Someone I've never met in person, something I wasn't expecting. We texted all day, talked on the phone, shared pictures and our lives. He sent me pictures of his kids and grandkids, I sent him pictures of my life. Then things changed, he stopped texting as much, cancelled our planned phone calls. He's 20 years older than me so I think there's a bit of communication issue with our age gap but I also think he lied about certain parts of his life. He still says he loves me but it's not the same. I'm so confused. Did I ever really love him if I never knew him? And how can my marriage recover from what I did? I'm not telling my husband, I'm so embarrassed. But are there problems much deeper if I would even do something like this? Is my marriage over anyways? And why am I heartbroken over some guy I met online and never met in person? None of this makes sense to anyone reading this, I'm sure. I just feel so lost and unhappy. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.



Submitted May 07, 2019 at 12:58PM

I'm married, have been with my husband 18 years. Things in my marriage were ok, we've worked through a lot of issues. Last fall, I met a guy online,I wasn't looking, it just happened. He messaged me something random, I asked him what that was about, we started talking and I went and fell in love with him. Someone I've never met in person, something I wasn't expecting. We texted all day, talked on the phone, shared pictures and our lives. He sent me pictures of his kids and grandkids, I sent him pictures of my life. Then things changed, he stopped texting as much, cancelled our planned phone calls. He's 20 years older than me so I think there's a bit of communication issue with our age gap but I also think he lied about certain parts of his life. He still says he loves me but it's not the same. I'm so confused. Did I ever really love him if I never knew him? And how can my marriage recover from what I did? I'm not telling my husband, I'm so embarrassed. But are there problems much deeper if I would even do something like this? Is my marriage over anyways? And why am I heartbroken over some guy I met online and never met in person? None of this makes sense to anyone reading this, I'm sure. I just feel so lost and unhappy. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
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