Get married or walk away?

My S/O (34/M) and I (30/F) have dated for the past 4 years (the last two of which being an LDR). We are very much in love and would like to get married and plan a future together, however, we are from a country where civil marriages are not recognized - so he would need to convert (it would be illegal for me to convert). We are both not religious but our families are and I cannot begin to imagine the shame, guilt and overall pain this would cause his family if he was to convert. I imagine our only option would be to live and marry in a western country where civil marriage is possible and have the parents eventually get over it? I cant imagine having him convert when we both aren't religious to begin with and wouldn't want him to resent me in the future over this. Or is this a sign that we should break our hearts and just walk away from this because it shouldn't be this complicated? There's nothing more I would want in my life than to be with him and have our own family but not if it means destroying his relationship with his family. I come from a small family and I've always wanted a big family and would love to have them as a part of our life.

Submitted May 06, 2019 at 12:12PM

My S/O (34/M) and I (30/F) have dated for the past 4 years (the last two of which being an LDR). We are very much in love and would like to get married and plan a future together, however, we are from a country where civil marriages are not recognized - so he would need to convert (it would be illegal for me to convert). We are both not religious but our families are and I cannot begin to imagine the shame, guilt and overall pain this would cause his family if he was to convert. I imagine our only option would be to live and marry in a western country where civil marriage is possible and have the parents eventually get over it? I cant imagine having him convert when we both aren't religious to begin with and wouldn't want him to resent me in the future over this. Or is this a sign that we should break our hearts and just walk away from this because it shouldn't be this complicated? There's nothing more I would want in my life than to be with him and have our own family but not if it means destroying his relationship with his family. I come from a small family and I've always wanted a big family and would love to have them as a part of our life.