Advice on how to become attracted to someone great

I’m a single woman dating men.

Many times in my life, I’ve met someone awesome who was great for me on paper and also a really nice person who was enthusiastic about me and we had common interests/lifestyle/goals/values.

And many times I have felt zero chemistry for such people. The first one met me in college. Still bummed I let him get away (but also, quite honestly, I felt zero chemistry toward him). On the other hand.. college! I would never have needed these crazy apps and dating sites!

I am now at a point in my life where I understand how rare such people are. I am willing to do whatever it takes to trick myself into being “into” them. I have a second date with such a rare gem coming up, and I’m worried. Worried I won’t want to touch him.

Does anyone have any advice? Going on 3 dates has sometimes worked. Feeling like I’m about to lose them to competitors has also sometimes worked.

It’s tough because I’ve liked plenty of other people effortlessly, or even despite my better instincts about them NOT being suitable partners.



Submitted May 08, 2019 at 03:35AM

I’m a single woman dating men.Many times in my life, I’ve met someone awesome who was great for me on paper and also a really nice person who was enthusiastic about me and we had common interests/lifestyle/goals/values.And many times I have felt zero chemistry for such people. The first one met me in college. Still bummed I let him get away (but also, quite honestly, I felt zero chemistry toward him). On the other hand.. college! I would never have needed these crazy apps and dating sites!I am now at a point in my life where I understand how rare such people are. I am willing to do whatever it takes to trick myself into being “into” them. I have a second date with such a rare gem coming up, and I’m worried. Worried I won’t want to touch him.Does anyone have any advice? Going on 3 dates has sometimes worked. Feeling like I’m about to lose them to competitors has also sometimes worked.It’s tough because I’ve liked plenty of other people effortlessly, or even despite my better instincts about them NOT being suitable partners.
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