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Showing posts from September 15, 2020

/u/ArguablyADork on Yep.

Actually yeah, because my work plays a song I always end up snapping to attention for and then being disgusted because the whole intro is ripped off in THE SAME KEY as Jack and Diane, a song I don't seek but won't change the channel on. Instead it's an autotuned chick doing that airy "fake carefree lovesong" voice and I DESPIIIISE it. The rest is a whole different song. Thanks, work, I hate it. September 15, 2020 at 11:57PM

/u/Misterwuss on My friend experienced aphobia for the First Time how can i help her?

Tell her that it doesn't matter what a show says, that it doesn't matter who laughs at the idea of being asexual, no matter who tells her that she's sick, that she's weird or isn't right in the head it does not change who she is and it does not change that she's vaild, loved, and asexual. And no amount of shit headed tv characters, or anyone else can change any of that. Trust me I know it's hard to ignore that type of thing, especially from people you thought would at least be ok with it. But being asexual isn't for them. It isn't against anyone else. Asexual is who she is and that's right. September 15, 2020 at 11:54PM

/u/preciousillusion on Ace book club, anyone?

There is an Ace Book Club on Discord and we are talking about reading this book next! Come join us! https://discord.gg/HYB6Av September 15, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/injusticehasbeendone on OK, THIS IS THE WORST I have seen against my orientation personaly on reddit (except the exclutionist sub) and he is on this sub , he is obviously not ace. I am... MODs, I think I need your help here (Thanks ahead!)

I hate to say it... but going to r/exclusionist as an ace person is like liberal going to r/conservative . Of course there are a bunch of wrong people there. You went looking for trouble and you found it. Some trouble more hateful than others. Just ignore it for now and focus on treating people kindly. Your heart doesn't need the stress and the users on that subreddit are a minority of the LGBT community as far as I can tell. Avoid it like black people avoided r/TheDonald You aren't going to change their minds. Call out acephobia in main stream LGBT spaces. If you want sure report subreddits you find hateful. But don't give them your time. Spend your time being happy and supportive of your fellow LGBTQA community members in the way we as a community want to be kind and welcoming to all. There isn't enough time in the world to waste on gatekeepers playing the oppression olympics. September 15, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/ACheca7 on I know it can be cathartic but...

When we face the former, why don't we focus on educating people, taking the time to explain what asexuality is in a calm, respectful manner? When faced with the latter, why don't we simply ignore it, cutting off their much desired attention and forcing them to find a new hobby? Because people sometimes like to see their complaints validated, they want to say "I don't like this statement about asexuality" and read others feeling the same. Educating and ignoring, while they are great and productive, don't help with that feeling of isolation/invalidation that some have while reading aphobe comments. You can call those posts "a little victim echo chamber" (which I think it's a bit uncalled for) but it's important to know that these posts appear to answer a feeling of invalidation, so if we really want to explore alternatives or solutions, we have to keep that in mind. September 15, 2020 at 11:53PM

/u/preciousillusion on Ace book club, anyone?

Hey, there’s one here and we’re discussing reading this book next! https://discord.gg/HYB6Av September 15, 2020 at 11:52PM

/u/wibes- on What is even this logic?

What the hell? September 15, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/LunaticSongXIV on I know it can be cathartic but...

it's actually pretty damn hard to make people post selective stuff onto another reddit Not if you have active mods that enforce rules. They don't have to be jerks about it, you just direct them to an appropriate sub and remove the post. I don't think /u/theshiftershape is asking for the impossible here. September 15, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/ArguablyADork on Yep.

I'll tell you right now, concerts are THE SHIT. They are THE ABSOLUTE SHIT. Concerts are my drug, my medicine, and my house. Let anyone DARE threaten the metal family and I-- *clears throat* What I mean to say is, when the time comes, go to a concert. Enjoy the shit out of that concert. There are people like me who will look after you and make sure that you are well. The lack of such a thing right now is making me a little insane, so don't mind any weird bursts of scary now and then. Please ignore those. I really mean no harm. September 15, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/HailenAnarchy on What is even this logic?

The asexual label is perfect for pedo's and zoophiles that don't want to express that part of themselves. I wouldn't say it's uncommon for them to claim the asexual label, since their sexual feelings are that abnormal and immoral. I honestly can empathize to a degree. But saying asexuals are basically pedophiles and zoophiles is just wrong because they aren't TRULY asexual. September 15, 2020 at 11:47PM

/u/maybekindofok on r/aretheasexualokay is a really bad place, I went there so you guys didn't have to. I don't know what to do with this subreddit as it mentions they are open to debate so idk what to do.

Oppression Olympics we call it September 15, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/ArguablyADork on Yep.

Holy Diver-Dio Hector's Hymn-Hammerfall (not a sword but it's within parameters) Metaliation Revengeance (Slash 'Em All)-Omnislash You're right, but ^these^ are cool. September 15, 2020 at 11:44PM

/u/ratsonjulia on My undercover ace ring finally came!!!

An Ace in the hole, as it were September 15, 2020 at 11:43PM

/u/TheChronologer1 on I made an Aro Ace bracelet!

I like the way it turned out too! September 15, 2020 at 11:40PM

/u/Misterwuss on Thanks for being so welcoming

You'll always be welcome. Allo or not. If ever you feel like popping by you just come on by September 15, 2020 at 11:37PM

/u/reeneeg on Ace book club, anyone?

Here's a Google Form for interested people to fill out: https://forms.gle/fMN3hHEuWHkMxMyr5 September 15, 2020 at 11:36PM

Happy Marriage?

Are happy marriages actually a thing? Maybe, this is because I am in such an unhappy relationship that I am curious if there is hope on the other side of leaving. Did you experience a "seven year itch?" Did you just have realistic expectations/endure the storms? Or were you naturally compatible as a partnership and did not have too much conflict? I look at my parents marriage and they're also together, but not particularly happy just comfortable. I am curious about anyone who was somehow able to find a good partner and manage to stay together..how is this possible? Submitted September 15, 2020 at 11:09PM Are happy marriages actually a thing?Maybe, this is because I am in such an unhappy relationship that I am curious if there is hope on the other side of leaving.Did you experience a "seven year itch?" Did you just have realistic expectations/endure the storms? Or were you naturally compatible as a partnership and did not have too much conflict? I look ...

My wife is telling me that we don't emotionally connect, as her husband what can I do?

Hi everyone, I don't know if this is the appropriate subreddit apologies if it isn't. My wife was speaking to me on our patio bench earlier today, and she was telling me that she doesn't feel like she emotionally connects with me. I asked her to to tell me why she felt as such and she couldn't tell me why. She did tell me that she does feel unhappy and I did try to ask her what makes her feel unhappy, she then proceeded to tell me that before COVID hit she wanted to go on dates every weekend. We're residing in George where cases continually rise. How do I go about explaining to her that it may not be the appropriate time to go? I have a feeling that she isn't telling me everything, what are good questions that would get me to the bottom of her unhappiness? Gentlemen what do you do to comfort your wife when she says this? What are ways that you make your wife happy other than sex. Ladies what would prompt a woman to say she doesn't feel emotionally connec...

Can my husband (26 M) keep me (24 M) from my best friend?

I recently got married to my SO of two years. We briefly broke up for about 6 months during fall/winter 2019. During that time I befriended a coworker. We flirted a bit, but when we started hanging out everyday we realized we actually just enjoyed each other’s company as friends! We developed a friend group and he was very supportive of me during the time I was single and struggling to get a new apartment and learn to be on my own again. We became best friends and about 4 months later I ended up getting back with my current husband. I did not tell my husband about our past flirting period because it was so brief and we spent the majority of our time as platonic friends anyways. I should have been honest, but I expected a terrible reaction. When he found out by seeing old text messages he lost it and for a while he complained about our friendship. I understood his feelings, but we became best friends when I was single and I don’t think I should have to give up my best friend that I gai...

What does being careful with words mean for understanding and communication in your relationship?

A healthy part of any conversation, imo, is fairly paraphrasing the another person's words so that both parties realize an understanding rather than a misunderstanding. "I'm not very interested in that finance book." Misunderstanding: "So you don't care about other financial perspectives." Understanding: "What about this book (or others) make this book uninteresting to you?" What are your experiences either showing or receiving a cue that your ideas have been heard and understood by your spouse? Submitted September 15, 2020 at 11:45PM A healthy part of any conversation, imo, is fairly paraphrasing the another person's words so that both parties realize an understanding rather than a misunderstanding."I'm not very interested in that finance book."Misunderstanding: "So you don't care about other financial perspectives."Understanding: "What about this book (or others) make this book uninteresting to ...

Reddit mods when they see their facebook post uploaded to r/niceguys

https://ift.tt/2H4hcDQ Submitted September 15, 2020 at 11:24PM https://ift.tt/2H4hcDQ

Has anybody realized that the Phrase "There's plenty of more fish in the sea" is just false?

I remember listening to a podcast called "This american life" and in one of the intros to one of their episodes related to "Love" or "Valentines Day", they interviewed physicists and they considered an equation in physics called "The Drake Equation" and it's essentially a way to guess if there really is life outside of our galaxy. One of the people they interviewed was a Hardvard Physicist and she said she wanted somebody that made just as much as her, while having the level of education as her and must be taller than her (she's tall) and must have the same IQ as her or within a certain range and must be good looking and live within her area. Through this equation//model , they ended up concluding that nobody like that existed. AND JUST LIKE THAT, her pool went down to zero. There was literally nobody or the probability of finding this person is zero (confident that they'll not be able to find this person). I often think back to ...

What has been your experience as the "single friend" in your friend group?

Hi everyone! I just graduated grad school a couple months ago and I'm in a really time intensive post grad job and work weekends, etc. - so not a lot of time to date, and I think it would be inconsiderate to any potential partner to even attempt to date when I have so little time and emotional energy to offer. But I'm late 20s, and the majority of my close friends are engaged. I've heard that as people get married and have kids into their 30s friendships kind of die out, and I'm kind of sad and scared about the potential of losing how close I am with these people / not being able to get together, go on vacations, etc. as much as we do now. Has anyone been in a similar situation in their friend group as me and have any perspective or advice to share about going to weddings alone, being the "single friend," or how to maintain these close relationships? I'd appreciate hearing about your guys' experiences, etc.! Thank you! Submitted September 15, 202...