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Showing posts from September 16, 2019

/u/Alex_Candlestick on Do you get boners when looking at porn even though you are not attracted to it?

Nope, has to be stimulated. September 16, 2019 at 11:59PM

/u/SteelBlue8 on Just realized something

... wait, what!? I'm shooketh September 16, 2019 at 11:56PM

He'll "date" someone incredibly similar to me...but not me?

I've had feelings for this man since shortly after meeting him...two years ago. I know for a fact that I'm very important to him and that he was interested in me at one point. (He's told me these things.) I'm his "type" and he still buys me dinner once in a while. However, due to some obstacles (distance being one) we have never officially dated. Now I've noticed that he's talking to/going on dates with a woman extremely similar to me. (Dark, pixie cut hair, hazel eyes, similar tattoos, photographer, animal lover, traveler, nature lover, etc.) She is also far away from him from what I can tell. I'm just wondering...why her and not me? I don't understand. Submitted September 16, 2019 at 11:55PM I've had feelings for this man since shortly after meeting him...two years ago. I know for a fact that I'm very important to him and that he was interested in me at one point. (He's told me these things.) I'm his "type" an...

My (23F) BF’s (39M) parents (70’s M/F) frequently show up to his home unannounced

My boyfriend and I moved in together and became serious fairly quickly in our relationship. We have been together 8 months. I moved into his house, which I thought was temporary, about two months ago. Since then we have talked about making it permanent, as he wants a family sooner rather than later because his parents are getting older and he wants them to have quality time with their grandchildren. BF has never been married, doesn’t have kids and didn’t move out of his parents house (other than going away for college) until he was 32. Due to this I think his parents often are overbearing and think he can’t take care of himself. 3-4 times a week they are calling him asking him if he’s eaten and if they need to bring something over. It will take 5-6 “No”s from him for them to finally concede. However, about 2-3 times a week they will just show up unannounced to his house and let themselves in (they have a key). Once we were both naked in bed and his dad walked in. Another time, right ...

Anniversary ideas?

It'll be my boyfriend (m20) and I's (f19) anniversary September 29th and we have no plans as to what we want to do. We did have the idea to buy something big together and that would be our anniversary gift for each other. We are hoping to move out relatively soon and so we considered buying a piece of furniture, but he still lives with his parents and I'm moving out of a college dorm (complicated situation with school) into an apartment together so we don't have a ton of space yet. So anyway, I was wondering if anyone had any ideas for an anniversary gift and/or anniversary activities. A little more about him, he is a bit of a gamer and I thought about potentially getting him a nice gaming chair or something. I have plenty of money saved up for whatever. We have been together for 4 years. Located in Illinois TL;DR: I'm looking for anniversary ideas for my boyfriend and I Submitted September 16, 2019 at 11:20PM It'll be my boyfriend (m20) and I's (f...

I(34F, trans) and he(30M) casually dating for 2 months are getting closer to being intimate and I am scared.

I have only been in long term relationships with women at lease since my twenties. I am queer and am attracted to men but just never really had sex with them. The guy I have been seeing is incredibly shy and while I am attracted to him, I haven't been able to push myself to make a move. It's a mixture of fear and anxiety that are stopping me, like I keep second guessing myself and if he was more forward I could just ignore the anxiety. I have this fear of men that has stopped me from really being intimate with them and I want to push myself out of that but don't know how. I could really use advice. ​ tl;dr I've been afraid of men my whole life, want to hook up with a guy, and have no clue how. Submitted September 16, 2019 at 11:21PM I have only been in long term relationships with women at lease since my twenties. I am queer and am attracted to men but just never really had sex with them. The guy I have been seeing is incredibly shy and while I am attracted t...

Am I being obsessive?

I’m going to cut to the chase. I (M18) met a girl (F18) in sixth form two years ago. I was instantly head over heels, she was great, she was funny, she was smart, she was pretty. Every time I made her smile or laugh I became happy and calm, she made me feel safe just by being my mate. Fast forward I got wrongly kicked out of sixth form a year later. We texted for a few months after I got kicked but that was it, she went MIA, I don’t think I would’ve freaked her out or anything, I never made any real advances, I was always friendly and (inb4 nice guy jokes) nice. But then one day, no messages it just stopped, it’s now been a little over half a year since we last texted and I still can’t stop thinking about her. But, I’ve been told she’s been hanging out with some people who gave me a lot of trouble on the past with bullying etc (they’re the sort of LADS LADS LADS type). It conflicts me so much and I don’t know why, I just feel like maybe I was ditched as soon as there was a better opti...

Should I take on 80k of student debt to get away from my controlling mother? I’m going to fall apart in this household.

TL;DR - my mother is crazy controlling and I can’t do anything but academic or church related. I want freedom and space, but that will cost 80k of debt. Med school will be a lot of debt anyway, should I go for it? Okay so I (17M) was nominated for a full tuition scholarship (I won’t say the name) to certain private universities across America. I have a fair shot of getting the scholarship if I’m being honest (like 40% of kids nominated get it). I want to become a surgeon. I know the type and specialty, I understand how to get there, and (not to sound rude) I know it’s possible as long as I stay responsible with studies. Three of these schools could provide a great way to meet my goal. The road block in my life, however, is my mom (I feel horrible saying this but it’s true). So I’m growing up with a very religious, questionably conservative mother, who believes in a sea of conspiracy theories (moon landing denier, anti-Vaxer, 9/11 was a set up, doesn’t trust dermatologists, we are p...

Boyfriend (25m) insisted that he should be allowed to go to a swinger’s club while in a relationship with me (28f)

This argument actually happened several weeks ago, and even though things have been “okay” between us, I haven’t felt comfortable since. My boyfriend and I were having a conversation about how he has a wide group of friends, including people of different ethnicities, beliefs, interests, religions, sexual orientations, etc. He made a comment about how he can be “different depending on who he’s hanging with” and said, for example, if his friend who’s into swinging invited him, he’d go along with him to a swingers club. Now, he and I have been in a monogamous relationship for 2 years. There is absolutely no way I’d be okay with him going to a swingers club, and I let him know as such. Actually, I would consider doing so a massive breach of the relationship, which to me is the same thing as cheating. Instead of understanding my boundary, he scoffed and left the room. An argument ensued quickly after, since I felt deeply disrespected and angry. To me, what he did is akin to me saying “...

how do I[f25] address boundary issues with my roommates [f32/m34]?

My[f25] boyfriend[m27] and I live with his sister[f32] and brother in law[m34] as we have for a few months now. His whole family has always been super kind and welcoming to me the 3 years we've been dating, and I hate to complain at all with how accommodating they've been (we also have a dog) however I can't help but feel uncomfortable with a few instances where they just seem more used to being around each other than I am- his sister doesn't often knock? sometimes she will stand outside and talk as a heads up but will otherwise just walk in. the first time we put a new cabinet/dresser in our closet she let herself into our room and into our closet to rummage around and look (She did this at our old apartment as well) they have their own shower and bath in addition to a second bath upstairs, but will use ours frequently in the AM because it's near the clothing steamer downstairs, including our shower and my hair tools. they are up just a bit earlier than I am for w...

Bf (28) broke up with me (27f) b/c he is not happy

Long story short, we have dated for a little over a year, I always went the extra mile to drive to him when he was in school 2.5 hours away every weekend since we started dating. I have tried everything, buying him necessities, paying for most things, it has been 75-25 (me-him), because I am in a full time job and he’s a student. He recently broke up with me because he said he’s not happy. And he’s been thinking about this for a while, a couple months/weeks. I broke up with him a couple weeks ago, and he asked for me back, saying he didn’t want to break up, so I went back to him (we have always had a shaky relationship, we broke up multiple times). Now he has broken up with me and given me no response back only saying he is unhappy and doesn’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t understand what I did wrong in this relationship as I feel that I gave him all I could. I surprised him on his birthday by going to him in a snowstorm driving for 5 hours. Am I stupid? What are other peop...

I caught my mother having intercourse with a young stranger. I don't know what to do, need help.

Only brief information about us: We actually came to Gainesville, Florida, in 2001 from Iran, I was only a few months old and we came to the United States because my father got a good job offer here that he couldn't refuse. Sadly my father passed away in 2006 due to speeding. My mother raised me alone and worked really hard to give me a good life as possible. We used to own a gym before, so mom would always train there, she cared alot about her body and health, she has a very good athletic body, she is also quite tall, 5ft10, which helped here strength even more. Today (2019) I am 18 years old and my mother is 44 years old. The guy that is also involved is 19 years old. ​ So it goes back to April of this year (2019), when my mother's best and closest friend Linda came over to our house, she had a young guy named Garry with her. Mom served coffee and we all sat in the kitchen, I usually do not attend when guests come over, but Linda came with a stranger, a male, so I couldn...

I (16M) want to get closer to my crush (16F) but there’s a barrier

So I just started my new school year a few weeks back and I got into the same class with my crush from last year. The only time we talked last year was during a project with assigned groups and I was in the same group as her. The current problem I’m running into is that I want to get closer to her so I can make moves, but we already have our “unassigned assigned” seats (meaning we don’t have set locations, but everyone just goes to the same seat every day). My table is close to hers, but we’re still far away from each other and I want to try and do something soon, but I’m not sure how I should approach her and start talking with her. Anyone have advice as to how I can approach her and try to get closer to her without revealing I like her? TL;DR - want to get closer to my crush and try and ask her out (after some time), but there are physical boundaries. How should I approach her? Submitted September 16, 2019 at 11:41PM So I just started my new school year a few weeks back and...

Mother in law shouted at my partner(28) in front of her daughter(5) for missing dinner. She was upset and feeding our 10 day old newborn. Need advice regarding alcoholism and what we do now.

There’s so many things and so much background here I don’t know where to start. But; TLDR I’d appreciate advice on best way to deal with long term alcoholic in-laws. We are in the UK, currently living with them and will be relying upon them for property for the foreseeable future. Any advice no matter how small would be appreciated. So, I’m laying in bed, can’t sleep because my evening has been a nightmare. We are currently living with MIL and FIL, and we are renovating a property on their land to move into in the immediate future. We have a ten day old son, and my partner has a 5 year old girl. This evening I upset my partner, and she went upstairs to our room, to breathe and feed the lad. Dinner was on, being prepared by FIL. I went upstairs to talk to my partner about upsetting her, so we could get each others’ perspectives and make up. Having just given birth her hormones are all over the place, but I’d also done something to upset her, so I apologised, explained and she forgav...

Me (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) of 6 months are struggling with our relationship

She gets very upset over the tiniest of things and says stuff such as ”I don’t need this in my life” ”I don’t want to suffer my whole life” and so on and so forth. To give you some context, we were planning to marry since the beginning of our relationship because of how she was brought up, she wants to only have one person in her heart and life for her whole life, and I respect that and want to be that person. Now, in no way have I been a perfect boyfriend but I always try my best and I love her crazy. We’re in a long distance relationship right now because of my university, but we’d spent almost 4 months together this summer + may while I was back home. We always got into small arguments but as far as I know it’s normal for people in relationships. The thing is that I think she is very childish in her outlook on the world, and as much as I want to make her happy and stay like that, I can’t. I can’t give her all the time and attention in the world because I have to study and work and ...

Too late to apologize

I try to keep this as short as possible, but I'll be glad to answer all the follow up questions.I've fallen in love with this girl (F28), and the timing was the worst for me; I (M35) was going through really tough times in my life, and I wasn't lookin for relationship at the moment. I also didn't even know that it is possible to fall in love so madly, that has happened to me only once in my life, when I was a teenager, and I always thought that it was because of hormones - that it can't happen when you are an adult. Well it did, and it totally catch me off guard. I didn't know how to deal with the situation, and I also found out that I suffer from a thing called ROCD, relationship obsessive compulsive disorder. On top of that, I realized that people have different kind of attachment styles, and mine was anxious attachment style Long story short, I ended up leaving this girl, after 3 months, cause I didn't know how to handle my feelings and especially the a...

How should I (Male, 15, introverted) tell someone (female, 15) I like them without the while thing being the definition if embarrassment?

Ok. So I'm slowly trying to get closer to the person in question (talk more often, etc.) It's going well, but I don't want to over-boost my confidence by saying it's mutual just yet. For what it matters, I'm more attracted personality-wise, and I've known her for the better part of a year. I've only really realized my actual feelings until recently. (We had a quick convo in the school hallway, and afterwards I'd realize how much happier and non-lonely than I do at any part of the day.) Honestly, there's not much left to say, sooo.... Title? TL;Dr I want to express feelings with no drawbacks. Advice needed. Submitted September 16, 2019 at 11:48PM Ok. So I'm slowly trying to get closer to the person in question (talk more often, etc.) It's going well, but I don't want to over-boost my confidence by saying it's mutual just yet.For what it matters, I'm more attracted personality-wise, and I've known her for the better...

Am I (21F) wrong about my boyfriends (22M) obsession with Football???

We have been together for a year now, when I met him I knew he liked football, he use to play it in high school and stopped after and he goes to his friends house every Sunday to watch it from like 1-8. He’s in two fantasy leagues right now and often he will look up his points constantly during games and if I’m hanging out with him (he puts his phone away at dates). It didn’t really bother me last year, but now I am away at college and we can’t see each other everyday like we use to. He visits me on the weekends and its a 2.5 hour drive. This past weekend he came and we had a lot of fun Friday and Saturday and he didn’t talk about football or he on his phone much at all. When Sunday came around I knew he was going to watch the Ravens game at 1, but what made me angry was that he set his laptop up at 11 am and started watching the pre-game interviews or whatever... TWO HOURS before it started. Then when the ravens game had a commercial, he would switch to the OTHER game and watch both ...

Is it weird that my (22F) boyfriend (21M) is always on snapchat?

We've been together for about 6 months. We are both very social people and love going out and meeting new folks. However, something that has always bothered me about him was that he always seems to be on Snapchat, talking to people (not all girls, I know what you're thinking, but he tells me some of them are female friends from home). I never liked the platform to begin with but I do still use it. We also communicate on snapchat a lot. It's never during intimate times or if we are having a serious conversation. I am worried that if I bring it up he will either feel self conscious about his frequent activity on it or think I am monitoring him. This is such a minuscule problem but it does bug me, I feel so silly and immature letting it get to me haha. ​ TL:DR: my boyfriend uses snapchat a lot. I'm not suspicious about his activity on it but for some reason it bugs me. Submitted September 17, 2019 at 12:00AM We've been together for about 6 months. We are both ...

Me (22 M) is getting annoyed at my 3 year long boyfriend (25 M) for not wanting to communicate.

First of all, I love my boyfriend to pieces. But more so than usual, he’s been unable to properly communicate his concerns to me. This just results in him sulking and being dismissive. For example, I asked him if he wanted to join me and my friends for a movie. He said sure, but wondered why I didn’t ask him first and if I would’ve gone if he couldn’t. I was quite confused and just told him that because his schedule is more flexible that I would ask him last and that I was going to invite him regardless. He thought that the way I said it wasn’t indicating that and I just told him that he shouldn’t worry and that I was going to go with him anyways. He then got pissed a bit but avoiding the topic. I then ask: “are you still mad about the movie thing?” He goes: “yeah, but I have to get over it and can you already drop it?!” Im usually the person to just want to talk things out and discuss why we feel a certain way and how we can improve looking forward (perks of being treated by a psyc...

My fiancé has all of a sudden became upset about my past.

The past couple of days my fiancĂ© keeps bringing up past guys i’ve been with, that some were older or not white (he’s 2 years younger than me and white) He thinks I’m secretive about my past and what he heard about my past “wasn’t good” In high school I was a little crazy, i slept with some guys but no more than around 10 and I was dating the majority I slept with. I’m nothing like that now, We’ve been living together now for over a year and our relationship is a strong and happy one. Why’s he all of a sudden being weird? How should I respond? He’s kind of insulting and I don’t want it to turn into a fight. TL;DR My fiancĂ© has all of a sudden became bothered about my past and is kinda slut shaming me. How do I approach this insecurity of his without it becoming a fight? Submitted September 17, 2019 at 12:07AM The past couple of days my fiancĂ© keeps bringing up past guys i’ve been with, that some were older or not white (he’s 2 years younger than me and white) He thinks I’m secr...

How am I [19M] supposed to fix things with my best friend [19F]

This is a pretty dull friendship issue, no juicy drama. I’m going to try to be vague, but my best friend and I had a fight the last time we caught up (about two weeks ago). Basically, I felt as though she was being pretty rude every time I said something - as in, I’d make a comment, she’d snap and kind of go on about why I’m wrong. And it’s not like I’m bringing up anything controversial, it was in response to pretty mundane things like “is there a shopping centre near where you live?” (she recently moved to a smaller city). So after every conversation/statement going exactly like that, I told her I didn’t want to continue and wanted to just go home. She got a little upset and made us sit down and talk it out. Which didn’t work, because it didn’t feel like she was understanding anything I was trying to say, and she seemed really focused on how she was right or she misunderstood rather than the fact that she was just being overall rude (like, I was just asking an innocent question. Yo...

I [22M] have been through an emotional rollercoaster with [22F] and i'm not sure how to proceed

Probably worth mentioning that i've never met this girl in person although we did discuss meeting a few times as we don't live that far apart, we met online about a year ago and hit it off as friends - staying up to early hours of the morning talking and playing games every day. She's really cool, hilarious and even laughs at my god awful jokes which is hard to find nowadays. I ended up falling for her quite quickly, a few months in she let slip that she had a crush on me and I let her know the feeling was mutual. The following weeks were business as usual with some flirting and the occasional bad pick up line thrown in, then she started to get cold and wouldn't initiate conversation as much. We spoke about it for a few hours and for lack of better words she's had a bad experience in the past and started comparing traits of mine and things I was doing with her ex's. I believe she's under the impression because I had a few social media interactions (that w...